1. "Are you so much better? You seem ready to view women as objects. How would you feel if somebody looked at you that way, you leering pervert?"


I'd cope. And I don't leer, any more than one leers at the sunset. I gaze, appreciative of the beauty good fortune has brought into my day, and no, I don't view women as objects. I view bodies themselves as precious, irreplacable gifts from the gods to us, ones that are very important to the quality of life of those who dwell within them. The person within the body, I view as another soul. If one instinctually fails to make that distinction, perhaps one should not be looking toward others when one seeks to drive out the urge to objectify others. There may be more projection than genuine insight to be found in one's perceptions.

The problem with the argument just given in the question above, is that is takes an uncompassionate version of desire to be the only that might exist. This line "how would you like ..." implicitly assumes that I have not had that experience and would find it a rude awakening. Not so. I have been there and I do know whereof I speak.

In the past, I have modeled for art classes and I've generally enjoyed the experience. There is a chance for creative self expression in choosing poses, a friendly atmosphere, and a chance to rebel a little against a puritanical upbringing. Occasionally, a woman would mention that she liked the way I looked, undressed. One of those women, in fact, went on to become my girlfriend. Some would apologise for their classmate's "inappropriate" behavior, and ask if I was upset about it.

Why would I be upset by that? Someone came up to me, made some pleasant conversation, and complemented me on my appearance. If that's oppression, I'll endure it. "But", someone will argue, "it might bother you that she was seeing you naked". "Why", I will ask, pointing out that most of us are perfectly used to being unclothed in front of other people in the gym or in a doctor's office. The response is that "those other people weren't enjoying it". Well, I ask, "Isn't that kind of a perverse reason to not want someone to see something? Because she'd enjoy it? If she found the view pleasant, how am I diminished by this, and hasn't she gained a pleasant experience?". The response comes, that she might lose respect for me. "Well", I point out, "she didn't seem to, and why would she?" "Because that's the custom." Then the custom is foolish and needs to be reformed. To condition people to reject pleasure without reason is not a benevolent act.

But make no mistake, if I saw an artist start to masturbate out there, either I or that artist would be departing. It is a question of respect. And that really is the major issue in deciding what we will put up with, here, and what it is that distinguishes healthy desire from animalistic hunger. Do you respect those around you? Would you seek to share pleasure or merely to extract it from another, indifferent to the nature of her experience?

Click here to return to the previous page.