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"Are you so much better? You seem ready to view women as objects. How would you feel if somebody looked at you that way, you leering pervert?"
I'd cope. And I don't leer, any more than one leers at the sunset. I gaze,
appreciative of the beauty good fortune has brought into my day, and
no, I don't view women as objects. I view bodies themselves as precious,
irreplacable gifts from the gods to us, ones that are very important to the
quality of life of those who dwell within them. The person within the body,
I view as another soul. If one instinctually fails to make that distinction,
perhaps one should not be looking toward others when one seeks to
drive out the urge to objectify others. There may be more projection
than genuine insight to be found in one's perceptions.
The problem with the argument just given in the question above, is that is
takes an uncompassionate version of desire to be the only that might
exist. This line "how would you like ..." implicitly assumes that I have
not had that experience and would find it a rude awakening. Not so.
I have been there and I do know whereof I speak.
In the past, I have modeled for art classes and I've generally
enjoyed the experience. There is a chance for creative self
expression in choosing poses, a friendly atmosphere, and a chance
to rebel a little against a puritanical upbringing. Occasionally, a
woman would mention that she liked the way I looked, undressed. One
of those women, in fact, went on to become my girlfriend. Some would
apologise for their classmate's "inappropriate" behavior, and ask
if I was upset about it.
Why would I be upset by that? Someone came up to me, made some
pleasant conversation, and complemented me on my appearance. If
that's oppression, I'll endure it. "But", someone will argue, "it
might bother you that she was seeing you naked". "Why", I will ask,
pointing out that most of us are perfectly used to being unclothed
in front of other people in the gym or in a doctor's office. The
response is that "those other people weren't enjoying it". Well, I
ask, "Isn't that kind of a perverse reason to not want someone to
see something? Because she'd enjoy it? If she found the view
pleasant, how am I diminished by this, and hasn't she gained a
pleasant experience?". The response comes, that she might lose
respect for me. "Well", I point out, "she didn't seem to, and why
would she?" "Because that's the custom." Then the custom is
foolish and needs to be reformed. To condition people to reject
pleasure without reason is not a benevolent act.
But make no mistake, if I saw an artist start to masturbate out
there, either I or that artist would be departing. It is a question
of respect. And that really is the major issue in deciding what we
will put up with, here, and what it is that distinguishes healthy
desire from animalistic hunger. Do you respect those around you?
Would you seek to share pleasure or merely to extract it from
another, indifferent to the nature of her experience?
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