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"OK, I'm unclear on this. Are you going to do the free spirit
thing or aren't you? And how far are you going to go?"
In response to the second question, the answer is that I don't
know. The reason for this is that the answer to the first question
is "somewhat" but to a fuller degree than most will intend.
For example, I've already told you that I would have no issue with
someone deciding to attend skyclad. However, if someone decided to
conduct the "great rite" (which, enacted in full, involves sexual
intercourse) in the middle of my floor, I would decidedly have an
issue with that. Is this because I think that doing so is "wrong",
in some absolute sense that will leave me scornful of the host who
allows it? No. I disallow it because I find it ugly and because
my guests would have this ugliness thrown into their faces. I
disallow it, in part, for the same reason that I would forbid a
guest to bring a jar of overripened cheese, except that the
revulsion is on a more psychological level.
This sense of ugliness (or beauty) comes spontaneously from within.
It is the product of our conditioning, which changes in time,
acting on our fundamental inner natures, which don't, for the most
part. An acquired taste, or that which we learn to enjoy, after
preconceptions are overcome, is a reflection of an
approximation of that inner nature. The approaching of the
appreciation of that which our hidden inner selves would enjoy,
this finding of our aesthetic selves, is what constitutes
sophistication in taste. But you can't force it, and you can't
deduce what it will be, through logic, or even observe, instantly,
what it will be.
All you can do is let yourself be drawn to it by breaking down
the barriers that stand in the way of reaching it. One gently
pushes back a fear or dislike, holds it back for a little while,
and sees if what was uncomfortable becomes comfortable and if one
is the better for it. One can't be entirely sure of how long it
will take for this to occur, even if it is going to. But the
previous experiences of those who have tried what we are curious
about, can give us some guide to what might be interesting to try -
which inhibitions we might try to loosen, for the moment - and how
hard we should try before giving up. Van Gogh often rewards the
patient museum goer, who sees the beauty of his work in time, even
if not quickly. Decomposing beaver carcasses never seem to grow on
anyone, though. It is not a matter of society "deciding" that the
former has a rough beauty, and the latter is ugly, but a memory of
where beauty finally was experienced.
But, one should not dismiss or scorn the temporary delights along
the way, for the pleasure they bring is real. If what we seek to
draw toward is to be a reflection of our fundemental nature, then
what we are to enjoy at the moment, aside from occasional efforts
to break the mental blocks mentioned above, must be a reflection of
our nature, as it is at the moment. The child who someday will
enjoy MacBeth, should not be made to feel shame today because he
is watching his cartoons. Those "less sophisticated pleasures" are
things that we need to experience, at each point, for the enjoyment
of that which we will enjoy at the next stage in our journey of
aesthetic self discovery to be possible. If one knocks the rungs
out of a stepladder because one doesn't want to be anywhere on it
but its top, how far will one rise?
"Free spiritness", if it is forced, ceases to be such. If we force
ourselves to experience something that, at the moment, we truly
find distasteful (even if that distaste is "illogical" in the sense
that it is a reflection of nothing more than our conditioning),
at best we are denying ourselves that temporary pleasure we need to
grow. Quite likely, though, we will be forcing something on
ourselves that wouldn't be good for us, even if we achieved
that perfect aesthetic self knowledge that is only approached in
approximation in life. But where, as arbitrary rules are cast aside, in favor of
those that truly work for those who live them, will we end up?
I truly don't know. Oh, sure, there are a few things that I can
safely rule out, but a full vision of what would work? It would
make far more sense to ask a toddler whether, when he grew up, he
would prefer Moliere to Sartre or vice versa. It is too early to
ask such questions. What is reasonable to ask is where we are,
right now, and which directions look promising to proceed in. Some
will prove to be dead ends. But the process of honestly looking
is an intrinsic part of the process of growth.
Beauty is not simply a thing that is, but a thing that is ever
coming into being as the totality of that which we, ourselves,
are, changes.
When we feel discomfort at the loving couple who make love in front
of us, finding that the public display makes the beautiful,
grotesque, is this any more "logical" than the reaction of those
who become upset at the sight of couples holding hands in public,
or kissing? Possibly, it isn't. But it's where we are right now,
the feeling comes sincerely from within, and we have no firm
grounds, rooted in human social experience, for believing that it
is one which goes away. For the moment, our best educated guess is
that our dismay is real and not just conditioned behavior. If,
however, as we push the boundaries of the acceptable back, we
should, to our surprise, find that this dismay vanishes, we will
happily stand corrected. This is not anticipated to occur, though.
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