1. "OK, I'm unclear on this. Are you going to do the free spirit thing or aren't you? And how far are you going to go?"


In response to the second question, the answer is that I don't know. The reason for this is that the answer to the first question is "somewhat" but to a fuller degree than most will intend.

For example, I've already told you that I would have no issue with someone deciding to attend skyclad. However, if someone decided to conduct the "great rite" (which, enacted in full, involves sexual intercourse) in the middle of my floor, I would decidedly have an issue with that. Is this because I think that doing so is "wrong", in some absolute sense that will leave me scornful of the host who allows it? No. I disallow it because I find it ugly and because my guests would have this ugliness thrown into their faces. I disallow it, in part, for the same reason that I would forbid a guest to bring a jar of overripened cheese, except that the revulsion is on a more psychological level.

This sense of ugliness (or beauty) comes spontaneously from within. It is the product of our conditioning, which changes in time, acting on our fundamental inner natures, which don't, for the most part. An acquired taste, or that which we learn to enjoy, after preconceptions are overcome, is a reflection of an approximation of that inner nature. The approaching of the appreciation of that which our hidden inner selves would enjoy, this finding of our aesthetic selves, is what constitutes sophistication in taste. But you can't force it, and you can't deduce what it will be, through logic, or even observe, instantly, what it will be.

All you can do is let yourself be drawn to it by breaking down the barriers that stand in the way of reaching it. One gently pushes back a fear or dislike, holds it back for a little while, and sees if what was uncomfortable becomes comfortable and if one is the better for it. One can't be entirely sure of how long it will take for this to occur, even if it is going to. But the previous experiences of those who have tried what we are curious about, can give us some guide to what might be interesting to try - which inhibitions we might try to loosen, for the moment - and how hard we should try before giving up. Van Gogh often rewards the patient museum goer, who sees the beauty of his work in time, even if not quickly. Decomposing beaver carcasses never seem to grow on anyone, though. It is not a matter of society "deciding" that the former has a rough beauty, and the latter is ugly, but a memory of where beauty finally was experienced.

But, one should not dismiss or scorn the temporary delights along the way, for the pleasure they bring is real. If what we seek to draw toward is to be a reflection of our fundemental nature, then what we are to enjoy at the moment, aside from occasional efforts to break the mental blocks mentioned above, must be a reflection of our nature, as it is at the moment. The child who someday will enjoy MacBeth, should not be made to feel shame today because he is watching his cartoons. Those "less sophisticated pleasures" are things that we need to experience, at each point, for the enjoyment of that which we will enjoy at the next stage in our journey of aesthetic self discovery to be possible. If one knocks the rungs out of a stepladder because one doesn't want to be anywhere on it but its top, how far will one rise?

"Free spiritness", if it is forced, ceases to be such. If we force ourselves to experience something that, at the moment, we truly find distasteful (even if that distaste is "illogical" in the sense that it is a reflection of nothing more than our conditioning), at best we are denying ourselves that temporary pleasure we need to grow. Quite likely, though, we will be forcing something on ourselves that wouldn't be good for us, even if we achieved that perfect aesthetic self knowledge that is only approached in approximation in life. But where, as arbitrary rules are cast aside, in favor of those that truly work for those who live them, will we end up? I truly don't know. Oh, sure, there are a few things that I can safely rule out, but a full vision of what would work? It would make far more sense to ask a toddler whether, when he grew up, he would prefer Moliere to Sartre or vice versa. It is too early to ask such questions. What is reasonable to ask is where we are, right now, and which directions look promising to proceed in. Some will prove to be dead ends. But the process of honestly looking is an intrinsic part of the process of growth.

Beauty is not simply a thing that is, but a thing that is ever coming into being as the totality of that which we, ourselves, are, changes.

When we feel discomfort at the loving couple who make love in front of us, finding that the public display makes the beautiful, grotesque, is this any more "logical" than the reaction of those who become upset at the sight of couples holding hands in public, or kissing? Possibly, it isn't. But it's where we are right now, the feeling comes sincerely from within, and we have no firm grounds, rooted in human social experience, for believing that it is one which goes away. For the moment, our best educated guess is that our dismay is real and not just conditioned behavior. If, however, as we push the boundaries of the acceptable back, we should, to our surprise, find that this dismay vanishes, we will happily stand corrected. This is not anticipated to occur, though.

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