When I met **** things moved so fast. Our conversations were so deep and I felt like I knew him so well. We saw each other every weekend. I was so understanding about him livng three hours away. I could call him whenever I needed to ...of course only on his cell phone, he didnt want his kids, who were my age to find out about us. At first everything was fine...then the visits slowed down..and the phone conversations started to lack... But I was oblivious to all of this. I only cared about the fact that He loved me and I was his.
In January we were together and had unprotected sex. I also forgot my pill. An accident? I'm still not sure. Your mind plays dirty tricks on you.
In February I found out I was pregnant. I called him to tell him...suddenly he became very very distant from me. He had plans to come see me that weekend. But every time we talked I seemed to say the wrong things. He told me the day before he came up that I would be punished for my mouth. I quietly agreed that he was right and I deserved it. The next day I allowed him to tie me up completely, blindfold me and gag me.. I trusted this person with my life. Before the gag went in I made him promise to be gentle and not hurt the baby. I cannot go on to tell you what happened next, I still cannot believe it myself. He left me the next morning. With promises of seeing me soon. The slight bleeding that had already started was assumed by him to be simple spotting. The next day I found out how wrong he was. I had a miscarriage.
I saw him one more time after that. On my birthday. He was cold to me the whole night. And I knew it was over. But the next few weeks after that I needed him more than anyone. They found a cyst on my fallopian tube when they did the D&C. I had to have surgery to have it removed. When I begged him to come up and be with me he kept saying he didnt have the time. I made one last ditch effort and wrote him a long and pleading email asking him to please come up for the day. In return to that e-mail I recieved a letter from his wife. I had no idea that this man was married. I see it now....all the signs..but when you love someone you just dont pay attention to those things.
I want to thank all of my friends out there that supported me during all of this. It meant a lot to me.
I am now, very single. But I am cautiously looking. I do not actively seek out a Dom, but if one approaches me, I will talk to him. I just want someone who will love me and grow with me. Take my hand and lead me in this journey of life...
The most sensitive erogenous zone of the human body is the mind.
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