�We. . . . we should argue. . . . like that more. . . . often.�
�Why? So. . . you can. . . . . tell another room. . . . room full of people about. . . . it?� I asked. I felt him shift to get a better look at me. His arms tightened around me.
�Alexis. . . . . look, I�m sorry I said what I said. . . in front of all those people. I never meant to embarrass you. I never meant to hurt you. I just got so angry at that jackass and. . . . when I get angry I get stupid. . . . ask anyone. . . . the guys will tell you. They know first hand.�
�I�ll be sure to ask them when I see them again,� I said absently.
�Hey, you ok? Are we ok?�
I didn�t answer for a minute trying to figure out what to say to explain my reaction that night.
�I feel like I should tell you why I reacted the way I did. See my grandmother called me tonight on my cell phone,� I started.
�Ok. . . I don�t get it.�
�Let me finish. While you were out enjoying your smoke my grandmother called me on my cell and told me that Joshua sold me out and gave her my number. After that, she went on to tell me in her subtle way that she doesn�t exactly approve of you and that she expects to see me tomorrow which, is when I�m supposed to defend you to them. So. . . I had all of that going on in my head and then we go out to the club. The first two were fun but club number three. . . . the charmed one,� I said with a laugh. �well that�s when my night went to pot.�
�And I�m sorry about that but,� Nick started.
�Ssshh just listen to me. So we go in and you leave me at the bar. I got bored and when Donnie sat down and started talking to me. . . I talked back. I knew he was hitting on me and I knew he didn�t have a chance in hell even if I wasn�t dating you. He seemed harmless so I didn�t see anything wrong with me indulging him in a little conversation. Anyway right after he mentions something about you leaving me at the bar to hook up with someone else, I look up and there you are with some little brunette all in your face. Not only is she all in your face but, she hugs you, plays with your hair and then kisses you. I didn�t even connect her with the friend you mentioned. When you said friend I was picturing someone male. When I saw you with Leia, I just saw some girl messing with my boyfriend. I know I jumped to conclusions and I was wrong but you gotta understand, you�re a. . . popstar. You have a lot of fans as well as a lot of past. . . girlfriends. . . bed buddies. . . . friends with benefits whatever you want to call them, who wouldn�t mind taking you for a ride. There are girls out there that would strip down naked if you just asked them to. That�s a lot to have to compete with.�
�Well I don�t know about that. We have crazy fans but most of them are pretty cool. I doubt I could get any of them to strip for me. You�re blowing things a little out of proportion.�
�Oh please! Did you just give me a practiced quote? That sounded like something you�ve said in a teen magazine before. �We have really cool fans.�,� I said mimicking him. �You can�t tell me that if The Nick Carter asked them to strip that they wouldn�t do it.�
�I think you�re giving me more power than I actually have.�
�I doubt it. Not that I want you to go around testing my theory or anything.�
�Don�t worry, I won�t.�
�Good. . . . anyway I�m saying it�s a lot to compete with and after what he was saying. . . . well he basically planted a seed that took root once I saw you with Leia. Then when you came over to me like you had just had your ego or something else stroked, I got suspicious. Then you and Donnie got into it and you said what you did and then to put the cherry on top of it all we get thrown out. I got pissed. Its one thing that the world thinks what it will about me or us but to know that you thought that way was a serious blow. All I could think about was how I was going to have to defend you to my grandmother when I�m not speaking to you. Then I thought what if what happened tonight makes the morning papers? My grandparents don�t read tabloids but what if someone they know does? They would be mortified to see me being kicked out of a bar because of a fight. My grandmother definitely wouldn�t want to hear anything I had to say and she would continue to try to get me to break up with you. All of this was going through my head tonight. . . . that�s why I got so angry. Plus, you were being a jerk.�
�I�m sorry,� he whispered pulling me closer.
�I forgive you. . . this time,� I whispered back. �I just needed you to know that.�
�I�m glad you told me. So you�re visiting your grandparents tomorrow? Did you want me to come with you?�
�No. I think it�s better if just I go this time. My grandmother isn�t exactly a fan of yours right now and its just better that I go. Plus she�s not too happy with me for going MIA on them.�
�Ok. That�s fine. I�ll find something to do while you�re gone.�
�I�m glad you offered even though I know you don�t want to go. You thought she was bad on the phone, she�d have been even worse with you right in front of her. She�s really old fashioned,� I said. I knew there was more to it than that. I believed that my grandmother was projecting her feelings for the relationship my mother had with my father on me. I couldn�t tell Nick that though.
�Oh I see what you mean. It�s because I�m white, right?� He asked. I didn�t expect him to hit the nail right on the head.
�Well. . . . yeah and that you�re an entertainer. She thinks all entertainers are corrupt. When I did my first job for a celebrity she told me I could work for them �just don�t date them�. She gave my mother hell when she told her she wanted to dance for a living.�
�So what are you going to do? Are you going to try and convince her that I�m not all that bad?�
�No, I�m going over there to visit my grandparents. I don�t really care if she does or doesn�t like you. I know that nothing I say is going to changer her mind. If she actually met you and you showed up wearing a halo and angel wings she�d still find something wrong with you.�
�Damn, and I was going to wear my halo and wings tomorrow.�
�Well I doubt that. I think you may need to be wearing a steak tomorrow.�
�A steak? What are you talking about?�
�Your eye is turning colors. It�s been getting redder and redder since you got socked in it.�
�What? Well that�s just great,� he said tenderly touching his eye.
�That�s what you get for shooting off your big mouth. Does it hurt?�
�It feels kind of sore but other than that I can deal,� he said.
�You should put something on it,� I said getting ready to slide off him. He stopped me.
�Not yet, I�m not ready to move from this spot.�
�Not even to go upstairs and continue what we started?�
�We�ll do that, just not right now.�
We fell into a comfortable silence. Nick was playing with my hair while I traced the tattoo on his shoulder. I was feeling pretty content.
�Nick?�
�Hhhmm?�
�I�m going to go get something for your eye. You don�t want it to get really bad, do you?�
�Ok,� he sighed. I got up and rescued his shirt from the floor. I donned the shirt, which came to about my knees, as I went into the kitchen. I looked down and laughed a little to myself when I saw I was still wearing my boots.
�Are you sure it�s just sore? I could get you some pain reliever or something,� I called.
�Ok,� he replied.
I returned to the living room with a glass of water, a bottle of pain reliever and a cold compress for his eye. I picked up the pillow we knocked off the sofa.
�Lift your head,� I said. He complied without opening his eyes. I placed the pillow underneath his head and sat next to him. I gently placed the compress over his eye saying, �Hold that right there. You are so lucky he only punched you in the eye. He could have had a weapon or something.�
�I know. I was an idiot but I got my lick in, too.�
�Yeah, you did. Do you want the pain reliever?�
�Nah, I�ll be ok.�
�You probably shouldn�t leave my apartment for a while. If the press saw your eye they would be all over it.�
�I don�t think it�ll be that serious but I�ll try and lay low,� he said with a smirk. I started to ask what was going on in that head of his but, decided not to.
The next day I was off to visit my grandparents, leaving Nick alone in my loft. He smiled slightly as I kissed him goodbye but that was about the extent of a reaction I got out of him. He was so out of it he barely stirred when I got out of the bed.
His black eye had gotten a little worse or rather more obvious. What looked a little red, puffy and blotchy the night before was quickly turning a deep shade of burgundy. It�ll be purple soon, I thought. I hoped Nick would take my advice and lay low.
I knocked on the door of my grandparents� brownstone in Brooklyn and told myself to remain calm. My grandparents� neighborhood looked exactly like one of those exterior shots from the Cosby Show. I took a look around me thinking how nothing had changed.
My grandparents, Ilene and Martin Blair, were both retired. My grandmother was a school teacher; she taught high school algebra for thirty-five years and just retired the previous year. My grandfather had been a police chief.
I could never figure out why but there was something about my grandmother that always made me feel like I was ten years old. Sometimes she could do it without even speaking a word. This would not be one of those times.
Before I could knock a second time, the door was flung open and I was being stared down by the icy glare of a very irate grandmother.
�A bar fight?!� she gasped. �You participated in a. . . . bar fight?!�
I stood amazed thinking, How in the hell did she find out? It was only last night. I couldn�t think of anything to say right then. I just stared. We stood on the doorstep for what felt like eternity. She seemed to remember where we were as she took a quick look around before saying quietly,
�You�d better come inside here and explain. I don�t need all of my neighbors knowing about your. . . . escapades.�
I followed my statuesque grandmother inside. I had at least an inch or two on her but sometimes it felt like she was ten feet tall. She was almost an exact replica of my mother. Tall and lean best described her as even in her advanced years she still had a nice figure. She had the same deep mahogany complexion as my mother, the same shaped eyes, nose and mouth. For as long I could remember she always wore her hair cut very short. She never relaxed it unlike my mother, she kept it natural. Now that it was more salt than pepper it was still the same. One of the other differences between my mother and grandmother were the shade of their eyes. My mother had light brown eyes, just like her father and just like me. My grandmother�s eyes were like deep pools of coal.
We managed to get to the living room before she started her tirade. I took a seat in the middle of the sofa, which is where I would always sit as she lectured. She usually paced the floor in front of me. This time would be no different. I glanced around and noticed that nothing had changed. The living room was immaculately clean; my grandmother wouldn�t have it any other way. She thought dirt was a four letter word.
�When Sister Dorothea called me this morning I thought she was horribly mistaken. When she called me six weeks ago, I thought she was mistaken but I looked in the tabloids and there you were with your arms around some popstar and it didn�t look like a Christian embrace to me either. I didn�t think there would ever come a time when I would read a tabloid but it seems to be the only way I can keep up with you.� She had picked up that morning�s paper and would shake it every so often for affect. �A bar fight, Alexis? You�ve done some crazy things before but to participate in a bar fight is just. . . . I have no words. Do you have anything to say?�
�Hi Grandma, how are you?� I said opening my arms to her for a hug. She just glared.
�Don�t you dare get cute with me now, little girl.�
�I�m not getting cute with you. I just thought it would be nice if we at least greeted each other before we fought. Can I see that?�
She handed me the paper which was still folded to the page that Nick and I were featured on. I scanned the article and the only things that were correct were the location, the day and our names. I looked again and noticed that my last name was misspelled. Whoever wrote the article added an �e� on the end. I chuckled a little to myself.
�I don�t find this at all funny.�
�Grandma, they are blowing what really happened way out of proportion,� I started as I scanned the article. �Nick didn�t get a bloodied nose, nor was he jumped by several people, there was no �chaotic scene� and the guy who was talking to me didn�t �get too physical� with me. Oh and I didn�t participate in any fight at all. This is trash. Since when did you start reading tabloids? And when did you start listening to anything that Sister Dorothea had to say? I thought you didn�t like her.�
�I don�t like her,� she snapped, �but she�s the one that told me about you and the popstar in the first place. You know she�s a terrible gossip and she keeps up with these things. I shouldn�t have to hear about your new boyfriend from Sister Dorothea or the tabloids.�
�Grandma, do you really expect me to tell you about every man that crosses my path? Besides, Nick and I haven�t been dating all that long, anyway.� I said.
�Little girl, I expect you to tell me something. I thought I told you that I didn�t want you-,� she started gearing up for another tirade. She was interrupted by my grandfather entering from the kitchen.
�I thought I heard my baby girl�s voice in here,� he said with a broad smile.
�Hi, Granddaddy!�
�Hi Granddaddy, is that all you say to me after not seeing me for months? Come here Sugarlump and give your Granddaddy some sugar!�
I went over to him immediately throwing my arms about his broad shoulders and kissing his cheek. He had to lean down a little for me to reach him.
My grandfather stood at about 6�3 and even though he was in his late seventies he still had a strong solid build. While my grandfather�s height and build were imposing he had a very even temper and a gentle nature. He was a perfect contrast to my grandmother.
�Aaahhh I see your grandmother�s been telling you about her new hobby,� he said taking a seat and glancing at the small stack of tabloids sitting on the coffee table. I noticed the teasing gleam in his light brown eyes.
�Yeah she had mentioned it,� I replied.
�I don�t know how either of you can find any of this funny. I�m going to go get some refreshments and we are going to talk about this when I get back,� she said going into the kitchen.
�Don�t pay her too much mind. I think she�s mostly upset that Sister Dorothea is going to rub this in the next time they see each other at prayer meeting. You know how they are. . . . like oil and vinegar those two.�
�Yeah I remember, the politics and inner workings of church folk,� I replied with a little laugh.
�Well enough about that. How�s my Sugarlump doing? How was the tour?�
�I�m good Granddaddy! Everything is good,� I started with a broad smile. Nick crossed my mind. �The tour was awesome. I had a lot of fun. The guys are all really nice.� I had just finished telling him about the tour and the upcoming second leg when my grandmother returned with a tray. She poured each of us a glass of iced tea and set a plate of cookies on the coffee table.
�Why don�t you tell us about the popstar?� she said taking her seat.
�I uuhh. . .,� I started after taking a sip from my glass. I was caught momentarily off guard. I should have known she would dive right into the tough questions as if she were interrogating me. �Well for starters his name is Nick Carter. . . . not �the popstar�, just like my name isn't �little girl�.�
�Fine and don't get fresh, tell us about this Nick Carter that I�ve read so much about.�
�Now Ilene, give her a chance to speak.�
�Nick is twenty-five and he was born in Jamestown but he was raised in Tampa, Fl. Right now he lives in California. He�s been singing and performing since he was a kid and he�s been with the band since he was twelve or thirteen. He�s really sweet.�
�Aren�t you forgetting something?� she asked archly.
�His parents are recently divorced and he has four younger siblings. . . . well five. His father remarried and they just had a little boy.�
�Is that it?�
�What more is there?� I asked. I knew what my grandmother was fishing for but I was not about to oblige her. �I don�t think he has an established religion but I�m pretty sure he believes in God.�
�Well that says it all,� she huffed.
�We just want to make sure that this guy that you�re dating is a good guy,� my grandfather told me.
�I just told you that he is. Shouldn�t my word be enough?� I asked.
�You know how your grandmother feels about people in the entertainment industry and I have to agree with her. Since I was a cop I had the opportunity to see a lot and the majority of those people aren�t the types of people I want my granddaughter mixed up with.�
�Granddaddy, what are you saying? You want to run a background check on him or something? What more information do you want about him?� I asked stunned. I was used to getting this kind of reception from my grandmother but never my grandfather. He was always cool with me making my own decisions. He never tried to control me.
�What does he look like?� my grandmother asked suddenly.
�Haven�t you seen the pictures? You, of all people, should know what he looks like,� I said glaring at her. Without missing a beat my grandmother replied,
�Your grandfather has refused to read or even look at the tabloids; he does not know what this Nick Carter looks like.� Good one, I thought as I stared at my grandmother skeptically.
�That�s actually true Sugarlump, I haven�t read any of the tabloids. So I don�t know what he looks like.�
�Obviously you�ve been listening to what she�s been telling you instead.�
�I�ve caught a few tidbits here and there about the boy from your grandmother but nothing concrete. I wanted to wait till you got here.�
�Ok. Well he�s about 6�1, broad shouldered, blonde hair and blue eyes. Not much facial hair because he usually keeps whatever hair he does grow shaved,� I said shooting them both a look and asked, �Is there anything else?�
�I still can not believe that you�re dating one of those people,� she huffed.
�Are you talking about people in his profession or people of his race?� I asked.
�Alexis, no one is saying anything about the boy�s race,� my grandfather tried to soothe the situation.
�His name is Nick, Granddaddy. Nick Carter, not the boy. . . . and not the popstar!�
�We just don�t want you to get hurt,� he said.
�Why don�t you just say how you really feel? �Alexis we don�t want you to end up like your mother.� I really don�t see how that�s going to happen, Nick isn�t married and we�re just dating. . . and we just started doing that. I�m really having a hard time understanding why you two don�t want me to date a white man, technically, I�m not going out of my race.�
�It�s not his race, Sugarlump, it�s his profession,� he started. My grandmother glared at him. �Well it�s not his race for me. I don�t like hearing about my granddaughter in the tabloids. I don�t like seeing pictures of you with a headline that insinuates something salacious is going on. Now I�ve been around and I know what that industry does to people. It hardens them and makes them immoral and jaded. Your friend isn�t any different, it can happen to anyone. I don�t want that for you.�
�I thought you trusted my judgment, Granddaddy.�
�I do, Sugarlump. I don�t think I trust him.�
�You don�t know him. What if I told you that Nick has been incredibly generous and sweet to me? He�s a good guy.�
�Why don�t you bring him over here and we can get to know him?� she said.
�I don�t think I want you to meet him, yet. I�m not ready to have him under your microscope. Nick and I aren�t all that serious right now, anyway.�
�He�s staying in your house that seems pretty serious to me. I didn�t raise you to have some man staying in your house that you aren�t married to.�
�Ilene that is not the issue here, Alexis is a grown woman if she wants someone to stay with her that�s up to her.�
�Martin, that has everything to do with the issue,� she said to him. Then to me, �He�s a popstar can�t he afford a hotel?� she shot at me.
�It�s just easier for him to stay with me. I don�t want to have to dodge fans and paparazzi every time I want to see him. So far, no one has figured out where I live so everything is fine.�
�And you work with him right? Isn�t that going to be a problem? The last thing you want is a bad reputation.�
�Technically, I work for him but none of the other guys in the group have a problem with us dating. No one has called me saying they don�t approve of me working for them while I have a personal relationship one. In fact they asked me to come on the second leg.�
I�d never wondered before if Nick had anything to do with that till just then. I was not about to share that with my friends.
�I�m still not satisfied, Alexis. I would like to meet him,� my grandfather said.
�Well you�re going to have to be satisfied because I am not bringing him over here. You yourself said that the majority of the people in show business are immoral; well consider him in the minority. I really don�t care if either of you like him or not. I didn�t come here to defend my relationship with Nick to you. I came here to visit but I will not sit here and be under attack. If you don�t like me dating him fine, consider it dubiously noted. It�s something you�ll just have to live with because I am not breaking up with him because of what other people think or say, not even you. If I were going to do that I probably would never have started dating him in the first place.�
Neither of them said anything. What could they say? It was clear to both of them that I was not going to budge on this matter. My grandparents knew that once my mind was set that was it. My grandmother would still try to get me to change my mind but my grandfather generally backed off in situations like that.
�I�m going to change the subject now. I don�t talk about Nick this much when I�m with him,� I said. My grandfather was fine with changing the subject but my grandmother would get her snide remarks in whenever she could. I chose to ignore her. I didn�t stay much longer after that. I was a little dismayed by the way my grandfather acted. I assumed if I had an ally in anyone it would be him.
As soon as I hit the bottom step of their brownstone I whipped out my cell phone and dialed Joshua�s number. I wasn�t just ready to talk to him; I was ready to yell.
�Hello?�
�You gave my grandmother my cell phone number?!�
�I�m sorry who is this? I think you may have the wrong number. . . . this person isn�t speaking to me.�
�You�re right I�m not. I�m yelling at you. What in hell made you give my grandmother my cell phone number?�
�Oh I don�t know. . . . maybe I was tired of her harassing me to get to you. You gave her my numbers first, remember?�
�You said you were fine with that.�
�I was until she became the number one caller on my phone. She calls me more than Derek, more than my own mother and you put together.�
�You�re such a spiteful little bitch. Why do you think I didn�t want her to have my cell phone number? I know why you did it. You gave it to her because you were mad that I hung up on you and we both know it.�
�That was part of it especially, when I found out why you hung up on me.�
�You talk to Maddy?�
�Yeah in fact, she called me right after your silly ass hung up on me.�
�Why didn�t you tell me, Joshua?�
�She told me not to.�
�Oh please! That never stopped you before. I knew she was divorcing Don before he did because of you.�
�This time it was different. She told me in no uncertain terms was I to tell you. She said if you ever found out she would want to be the one who told you.�
�Ok but all this time you knew and you didn�t say anything.�
�Really what difference does it make? We were practically related before you found this out. All this means is you know where to come if you need a kidney or something. I never saw what the big deal was and I still don�t. It�s not like she was revealing that she used to be a man and was actually your father. Now that would have been a trip. No all she told you was she was your aunt. . . . officially but you were already practically her niece, if not the daughter she never had. You women are so overdramatic and coming from a gay man, that�s saying something.�
�Still. . . .,� I started.
�Still. . . . nothing. My mother was like an aunt to you even before your mother passed and you know that. You saw her more than your own grandmother. She was more of an aunt then the one you knew was your aunt ever was. Heard from her lately? Where is she living now?�
I hated it when he was right. Right then he was more than right he was fucking dead on. I began to feel like a jackass the more he talked.
�Ok. . . ok I was wrong to get so upset with you. The way I acted still does not excuse you giving my grandmother my cell phone number.�
�I�m sorry for that but she was bound to get it eventually, honey. Did she call you?�
�I�m leaving their house now. She doesn�t approve. . . . . well they don�t approve of Nick.�
�I guess not if he�s dragging you into bar fights.�
�Oh no, not you too!�
�Yeah I read it and didn�t really believe it but figured there was some truth behind it. It had a cute picture with it too. Well you looked hot, Nick looked kinda tired. Tell him to put some cucumbers on those baby blues. Oh and I loved the boots sweetie! So what really happened?�
�Well for one Nick doesn�t need cucumbers for his eye, he�ll need a steak,� I said as I started retelling the story of Nick and my night with Donnie. I hopped that would be the last time I had to tell that story. I just wanted to put that night behind me.
I finally got to my building after a memorable experience on the subway. It seemed like every other person I ran into was reading that damn newspaper. I was terrified that I�d be recognized or something. I started thinking about seriously investing in a pair of big sunglasses. It wasn�t until I got off the train and realized no one was paying me the least bit of attention that I calmed down.
I went into my building noting the lack of fans or paparazzi hanging around the front and knew I was safe. Then I hopped on the elevator and just as the doors began to close I heard someone call,
�Hey would you hold that elevator, please!� I hit the button to reverse the doors� direction. �Thank you soooo much,� said the petite blonde in her southern accent.
�No problem.�
�I just moved here from Tennessee about a month and a half ago and believe it or not you�re the first neighbor I�ve actually run into. I was beginning to wonder if anyone else lived here. I�d always catch a glimpse of someone while they were walking out the door or I�d be running for the elevator and miss it,� she said with a dimpled smile.
�Well. . . . welcome to the neighborhood. Everyone here likes to keep to themselves for the most part.�
�Thank you, I sure did notice that.� We stopped talking for about ten seconds before she said, �I�m sorry but do I know you from somewhere? You look awfully familiar.�
That was when I took a good look at her. She was wearing jeans and a lavender Lacoste polo shirt with a little light blue alligator on it. Her blonde hair was pulled back in a messy bun. She was carrying two grocery bags. One had what looked like a bag of apples and another of oranges along with a bouquet of daisies. In the other bag, I couldn�t tell what it was filled with but I zeroed in on the newspaper sitting on top.
�I don�t mean to be a little chatter box and talk your head off but I always remember a face. If there�s one thing I remember its faces and you look so familiar. Oohh this is going to bother me till I figure it out.�
�I doubt it. I�ve never even been to Tennessee ,� I said praying she wouldn�t put it together and trying my best not to look at her again. I started staring at the numbers.
�I know I�ve seen you before. You don�t take any graduate school classes at Columbia do you?� she asked.
�No and that�s my floor,� I said practically sprinting from the elevator.
�Hey you�re that girl from the news-,� was all she got out as the elevator doors closed. It was a good thing we were leaving New York in a few days. I didn�t want to have to try and dodge that girl forever. Am I going to have to move? What if she�s a huge crazed fan and she tells everyone on some messageboard that she�s living in the same apartment building as the Nick Carter�s girlfriend and that he was probably staying here too? I let myself into my apartment and breathed a sigh of relief that she didn�t follow me. It�s definitely started, I thought.
