�Gosh Maddy, you�re not about to tell me that you�re my mother, are you?�
�No darling. Eden was. . . is and always will be your mother. You look so much like her, sweetheart, sometimes I feel like I�m twenty-two again and we�re having one of our marathon gabfest. What you didn�t know is that. . . . I am your aunt. Your father Jimmy. . . . James is my brother.�
�What? Wait, I don�t understand. You and him don�t have the same last name.�
�Honey. . . . I�ve been married so many times, I barely even remember my real maiden name. Jimmy, Theo and Joshua are probably the only people who know my real name.�
�What�s your real name?� I asked completely stunned.
�Martha Reynolds. Madeline Dubois is a stage name that Theo cooked up for me when I first started.�
�Did my mother know about this?�
�Of course she knew, she knew me before I met Theo. . . . . back when we were just girls in the chorus. So you see, Jimmy didn�t fall for your mother instead of me, he actually met her because of me. I met your mother at an audition, we started talking and hit it off instantly. I invited her back to my apartment that I was sharing with Jimmy for some coffee. They met that night.�
�Ok, I don�t understand. . . . why was this kept from me. . . . all this time? Oh my gosh, does Joshua know?�
�Yes, he knows that he�s your cousin. I told him once you two hit adolescents, little did I know I had nothing to worry about.� He never told me. How come he never told me? I thought.
�Well how come no one told me?�
�Let me explain, darling. Before you or even Joshua were born. . . . back when I was just trying to make it on the stage, when Jimmy, your mother and myself were about your age. . . . Jimmy and Eden dated. They were very much in love. I wish you could have seen them sweetheart, they were so cute. I have some old pictures I can show you.�
�Maddy. . . . Martha. . . . I don�t know what to call you, now.�
�I�m sorry dear. I don�t mean to unload all of this on you. Keep calling me Maddy, that�s who I am now.�
�Ok. . . . Maddy, I think the pictures can wait. I want to know why I am just now finding out that you�re my aunt and what�s up with my father�s �visit�.�
�Well. . . . I�ll get to all of that but you have to hear the entire story. Jimmy was so in love with your mother that he proposed. . . . three times in fact. The first time I believe he was partly kidding but the second and third time he was definitely serious. She turned him down all three times.�
�Why?�
�She said she couldn�t marry a white boy because her parents would disown her. That�s what she said the last time he asked her. Before, she would say she wasn�t ready for marriage. After that last proposal they argued and then they broke up. He was deeply hurt by her rejection and she was hurt as well by the break up but they were both very stubborn, prideful people and would have died before they showed it. To prove that he was fine Jimmy started dating again, while Eden threw herself into her work. I think she did some of her best work during this time. She went on a tour with Alvin Ailey and when she came back Jimmy was hooked up with Susan Gibson.�
�Isn�t that his wife?� I asked. I felt like I was watching a movie. It was all so unbelievable. I wondered briefly if my grandparents would have really disowned my mother if she had married my father. I began to wonder what their reaction would be when I visited them with Nick in tow.
�Yes she is but, don�t get ahead of me. I don�t know how much you know about her. Did your mother ever tell you anything?�
�No. I think she tried not to think about her and mentioning her kind of went along with that. I did see her once. She was in Saks shopping, back when I used to work the makeup counter. I just kind of saw her from a distance. I didn�t talk to her, even though, I kind of wish I had.�
�Well the few times I�ve talked to her I only wish I could have those few moments of my life back. When Jimmy met her she was an heiress and she comes from old money. . . . . old New York money at that. She may be filthy rich but she�s more filth than anything else. The woman has no class. Her and Jimmy eloped and I know she did it to piss off her parents. I think they tolerated their relationship but I know they didn�t expect them to marry. I don�t think anyone expected that, least of all me. I was so shocked when he told me. I was mad at him too. I knew him well enough to know that he didn�t love her, he still loved Eden. I tried to tell him that if he gave her time she would realize that what her parents thought didn�t amount to a pile of shit,� she said. Maddy always managed to make swear words sound elegant.
�Ok so, what happened after he married Susan?�
�Well they�d barely been married six months when Jimmy came crying to me about how unhappy he was. They were fighting all the time. They weren�t getting along at all and nothing was working out the way he thought it should have been. He told me he wanted out but Susan was having none of that, almost on cue, Eden walked in the door. She was staying with Theo and me because she was out of town more than she was in and she never had time to look for an apartment. Theo and I had been married about a year and a half by then. Anyway, Eden hadn�t seen Jimmy in at least two years or so�. no she saw him at our wedding. He escorted her down the aisle even at the reception she managed to stay away from him. I think the atmosphere and he being there was just too much. That day though, when she walked through the door and their eyes met, it was like the first time they met. She joined us and they caught up on old times and everything. Jimmy left feeling a little better but still resenting having to go home to his bride. A week went by and I came home from rehearsal and I find those two in bed together. I couldn�t believe it. I read both of them the riot act that day, especially, Jimmy. I told him not to marry that girl but he wouldn�t listen to me. I told him what he did was not the answer to his problems, either.�
�What did they say?� I asked. I wanted to tell her to get to the point but I became so involved in the story.
�They both assured me that that was the first time and that it would never happen again. Then a year goes by and Joshua is born, I think he was four or five months old when I get a phone call. It was your mother. By then she had stopped touring and had settled in Soho. She called me and asked me to come over for lunch and to bring Joshua. I went over there and we had a lovely lunch but I could tell she was a little distracted and something was bothering her. We were putting Joshua down for a nap and she says she has something important she wants to tell me. We go out into the living room and that�s when she dropped the bomb on me. She was pregnant with you,� she said as she stroked my cheek. She continued, �She told me that her and Jimmy never stopped seeing each other since that day that I caught them. She, in essence, confessed everything. She told me about when she was finishing her tour how he flew out to see her a few times. She told me about some of the times when I would ask her to go out with me and she would refuse with some excuse, that it was actually because she was meeting Jimmy. After she told me all of that she begged for forgiveness. She didn�t apologize for being with Jimmy, though, she was only sorry that she lied to me. She told me that she still loved him and didn�t regret any of it. She didn�t regret the baby that was created because of it either,� she said. I smiled slightly at that. She continued, �I was so astounded about the whole situation and mad at her for lying to me all that time, I didn�t know what to say. I was suddenly so scared for her. I knew that she would need me and I was touched that she told me first. So, I encouraged her to tell Jimmy.�
�Maddy. . . . did it ever. . . occur to you that. . . . my mother may have gotten pregnant on purpose. . . . thinking that he would leave his wife for her?� I asked hesitantly. I had wondered that myself several times. I knew my mother wasn�t that kind of person. Still, I wondered how far would she go to get and keep the man she loved.
�Before I accepted what she was telling me I yelled at her. I asked her did she think he would leave his wife for her because of this. I asked her did she do it on purpose, she assured me that it was purely by accident and I believe her. She told me that she had to stop taking her birth control because one of the side affects was messing with her performance onstage. She was working on getting her prescription changed but Jimmy popped in for a surprise visit and they decided to chance it. I know she would not have willing wanted to bring a baby into the environment that she was about to bring you into.�
�Ok. I just needed to know that, Maddy.� I believed her, too.
�I�m happy to tell you everything and answer all of your questions, darling, you know that.�
�Well. . . why was you being my aunt a secret?�
�That�s next. When your mother told Jimmy that she was pregnant he wouldn�t believe her. He accused her of sleeping with someone else. Him and I got into it then. We had a huge fight, it was so loud the neighbors complained. Good thing no one called the police. I vowed from that day forward to never ever call him my brother and I told him that. I said, �If you do this, you are no longer my brother.� He said I was just �being theatrical�. He walked away from both of us without another word.�
�Wait a minute Maddy, that can�t be right. I remember him being there. . . . well around. . . . . up until I was ten.�
�He didn�t come around until Eden went into labor and that�s because I called him and threatened him. He came and was there for the delivery and he held you but right after that he left. He didn�t see you again until you were almost a year old. I just couldn�t talk to him, anymore. He was married to that wicked bitch but carrying on with your mother and I thought she deserved much better than that.�
�Ok, you severed all ties with your brother, my father, I get that but why keep it all from me?�
�Eventually, it just became a part of life. Then after your mother died I didn�t want you to know because I didn�t want you to hate me.�
�Hate you? Maddy, you practically raised me. If there were anyone else on earth I�d call �Mom� it would be you. How could I hate you?�
�I know that dear but after your mother died you had such a hatred for your father and everything related to him. Remember, you refused to see Cats because he was stage manager. I was afraid you�d do the same to me. I was afraid you�d hate me because there was nothing I could do, as his sister, to get him to step up and take responsibility of you. There was nothing I could do to make him be there for you or for Eden,� she said hugging herself. I could tell she was on the verge of tears. �I�m so sorry I�ve lied to you and kept all of this from you. It wasn�t fair of me to assume you couldn�t this information.�
�Maddy, its ok. I don�t hate you, I could never feel that way about you. I�m more shocked by all of this than angry. It still doesn�t explain why my father came to see me today, out of the blue.�
�I know the answer to that, too. His wife is dying.�
