"For some insane reason that I have yet to figure out.... everyone thinks that Nick and I like each other. I'm telling you they're all nuts! I don't like him. I'm not saying he ain't cute or anything but his cuteness totally deteriorates in the face of his assholeness!" I almost screamed into the phone.
"Ok I don't think assholeness is even a word. Fine sweetie, you don't like him, I hear you. But who cares what everyone thinks. You've never cared what anyone thought of you before. Why does it matter now?" Joshua asked. He had an annoying way of always making sense of things. What did it matter now?, I thought. I wasn't sure. It just annoyed me to no end that they thought I liked him.
"I just don't want them thinking something about me that is not true, that's all," I said. Joshua got silent for a moment. I think he was letting what I said sink in or something.
"So what else is going on?" he asked in an attempt to change the subject.
"Aside from that nothing much really," I said flopping down on my bed. We were in a hotel in North Carolina.
"Where are you heading to next?" he asked.
"I don't know," I said in a faraway voice.
"Ok, clearly my attempt to change the subject didn't work, here. You want to know what I think?"
"Think about what?"
"This whole thing with you and Nick."
"There is no 'thing' with me and Nick."
"Sure whatever, keep telling yourself that, sweetie. Look, you may not like Nick but you can't tell me that somewhere deep inside you don't get some satisfaction out of besting him or getting a laugh out of everyone at his expense." He got silence from my end of the phone. I really did have to think about that. I mean, of course, I liked making Nick look like an idiot especially when he was always trying to do the same to me. But so what, that didn't mean I liked him or anything.
"Well?" Joshua asked.
"Maybe I do but, let the record show that this does not by any means at all mean that I like him. . . like that," I said.
"Did I say that Lexie? If you don't like him fine.... no one is forcing you to like the boy. It's just they're opinion of the situation," he said.
"What do you think? Do you agree with them?" I asked him. I just had to know.
"What difference does it make whether I think you do or don't. You said you don't and I'm taking your word for it," he said.
"You think I like him don't you? Tell me the truth, Joshua," I told him.
"I think that you may like him more than you're willing to admit to me and yourself," he said.
"What the hell does that mean?" I asked.
"It means that you're not totally and completely repelled by him. You may think you are but to some certain degree even if it's a little bit you like him." I hated it when he was so perceptive, it was infuriating.
"Not you too," I moaned rolling over on my stomach.
"Hey, I didn't say you were in love with him. I know you're saving your love for Kevin.... whenever he leaves that wife of his. If that plan backfires I know AJ is second in line assuming he and his fiance don't make it down the aisle. All I said was that you like Nick, that's all. It's not like I'm planning your wedding," he said.
"Fine. So.... how are things with you?" I asked changing the saubject.
"I met someone new," Joshua said.
"Here we go," I muttered. Joshua was like this, he gave some kick ass love and relationships advice it was just too bad he never followed it himself.
"Hey, I heard that. Can I atleast tell you about him?"
"No, but I know you're going to anyway. I never like these "someone new" people. Why can't you just stick with Derek? I like Derek."
"Oh please, you know how it is.... besides Derek is with someone else as well. I'm just moving on."
"Yeah right. So who is this new person?"
"Thought you didn't want to know."
"You better tell me now while I'm actually curious. This won't last long."
"Ok his name is Adrian and I met him in a coffee shop. You'll like him. He's tall and has these gorgeous blue/green eyes and brown hair. He kind of looks like a cross between.... Josh Hartnet and Leonardo DiCaprio, I think so anyway. He's a Pisces and he's originally from Massachusetts."
"Oooh a Pisces?" I asked. This shouldn't last long, I thought. "You're not exactly compatible with a Pisces, Mr. Leo."
"I know, I know but that stuff is not fool proof, you never know. Besides opposites do attract sometimes," he assured me.
"OK. I'm happy for you, even if I think you and Derek are made for one another. He is a Leo. You two are practically cut from the same cloth.You and him always do this. After about five months you two get the itch and start sniffing in other directions and then when you don't find what you were looking for you come back to each other. In a sick twisted way it's almost endearing."
"Whatever, Lex, I don't see anything wrong with it. As long as it doesn't bother me I'm fine. I am perfectly fine with my love life the way it is and I don't care what others think. You of all people should know I rarely do."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"You know damn well what I'm talking about, Josh."
"No I do not Alexis Zoe," he said. Just like he doesn't like to be called 'Josh' I don't like to be called by my middle name. To me it sounds like a muppet or a cartoon character or something. No offense to anyone named 'Zoe' or anything. "Would you explain it to me, please."
"There was an undertone to what you said. Like you were trying to refer it to me without outright saying so," I told him.
"You're nuts. There was no undertone. I wasn't talking about you, sweetheart, I was only talking about myself. Maybe you want there to be an undertone," he said.
"Fine. Look I have to go. I'll talk to you later, bitch," I said.
"See ya slut," he replied. Of course I couldn't leave it at that.
"Trick."
"Hussy."
"Ho."
"Jezebel."
"Street walker."
"Painted woman."
"Good one, you've been watching Masterpiece Theater on PBS again haven't you?" I asked.
"They showed Moll Flanders, so I watched it," he replied. I couldn't help but laugh.
"Ok well I'll talk to you later," I said.
"Bye hon," he replied.
So everyone thinks I like Nick well they were all wrong as far as I was concerned. How could I like someone who's intent from Day 1 was to make my job difficult? It was ridiculous. Anyway Nick would soon have problems of his own and they didn't involve me at all.
