�What business is that of yours? Besides how do you know about what I do on my off time?�
�People talk and sometimes I listen.�
�What the hell does that mean?�
�I heard someone talking about it.�
�So what? So what if Zeke and I are a couple? What do you care?�
�I thought you didn�t like Zeke.�
�I never said I didn�t like Zeke. I�ve said many times that I don�t like you and look where that�s gotten us.�
�Ok you�re right. You never said you didn�t like him but you did say you�d never date him.�
�So? I can change my mind if I want to. Again I point to the �friendship� we had. What do you want Nick? You made it painfully obvious that you didn�t want to talk to me anymore. You won�t let me style you, you�ve practically blocked my number from your phone and you even ignore me when we pass in the hall. What is-,�
�Look it�s different now, ok!� he yelled.
�What�s so different? Aside, from your bitch of a girlfriend being knocked up?� I yelled back.
�Oh so now you think you know every fucking thing! You don�t know shit, Alexis!�
�That kid might not even be yours,� I muttered.
�What did you say?� he asked angrily. I didn�t answer. I realized too late that I probably shouldn�t have said that. I didn�t mean for him to hear. �Oh afraid to repeat yourself, huh? You don�t have to, I heard what you said, Alexis. You have no right to say something like that. Where the hell do you get off?! Look it�s none of your business either way. I already told you that it was possible for the baby to be mine, ok. So why don�t you just. . . stay out of it ok!� He yelled all of this an inch from my face. I reached up, placed my hands on his chest and pushed him out of my way saying:
�Get out. . . of my face. . . Nick! I can�t believe you�re defending her to me, now! You can barely stand her yourself! It�s a wonder you stood her long enough to get her pregnant. . . assuming of course that you did do that.�
�It�s a wonder I can stand you right now! I told you to stay out of it!� he yelled taking a step closer.
�Uuumm excuse me but you bought me into this! All those late nights on my bus playing Tekken and complaining about Jessica. Did I invite you? No! You were hiding from your beloved.�
�Shut up! You don�t know anything! You don�t know shit about what�s going on between me and Jessica! You�re just being a bitchy little know-it-all who has to fix every fucking thing in everyone else�s life because she can�t fix what�s wrong with her own. I want to know Alexis, what makes you so fucking perfect? Who the fuck died and put you in charge of everyone?�
After that the gloves were off. Names were called, words were said. It�s a wonder no one came in to see what was going on. We both said some very hurtful things to each other and we did it loudly.
�Why don�t you just do me a favor and stay the hell out of my business! In fact, why don�t you just leave! I came in here to get some cleaning done not to be yelled at, especially when I didn�t do shit! You came in here Nick, the same way you got on my bus! I didn�t call you and I certainly didn�t ask you to come in here. You came in here of your own free will.�
�Look, I only came in here to ask you a simple question! You�re the one who went all ape shit on me!�
�A question that was none of your damn business in the first place. How dare you?! You ignore me and treat me like I don�t even exist and then when you deem me worthy of your attention again it�s only to yell at me and ask me questions that I don�t have to answer. Who the hell do you think you are?�
�You�re blowing this whole thing way out of proportion. I only asked that question because. . . I heard something and. . . . I wanted to find out if it were true. . . . from the source,� he said lying.
�Yeah whatever, Nick. Look, why don�t you just leave and leave me alone. I�m in the middle of something here. Plus, we wouldn�t want the lil� mama to find you in here with the likes of me,� I told him turning my back on him and going back to my brushes. For a long moment he didn�t move then he turned on his heel and walked out. I breathed a small sigh of relief but I felt a small pang of disappointment as well. Suddenly tears sprang to my eyes. Tears! I yelled at myself. You will not cry. There is no need for crying.
�Stupid jerk,� I muttered angrily to myself. I was so angry with him and I couldn�t figure out how he had worked me up like that. Before I wasn�t angry about the way Nick had been acting more puzzled and annoyed. With him right there in my face all kinds of emotions poured out. I wanted to hit him. I wanted to slap him. I wanted to hug him. Secretly some part of me wanted to kiss him and maybe more.
After that confrontation, Nick and I didn�t talk at all. Whenever we were in the makeup room together we blatantly ignored each other. We wouldn�t look at each other when we passed in the hall. I didn�t even want to speak his name. Everyone noticed but no one knew about the argument we had and I wasn�t about to tell them. I doubt that Nick was telling them either since Kevin and Brian both came to me and asked what was going on between us. I didn�t tell them. I didn�t want to talk about it.
Nick and I didn�t speak until we got to Atlanta, two weeks later. When we did it wasn�t exactly a social call.
�Bathroom! Where the hell is the bathroom in this joint?!� I said to myself as I turned another corner. When I saw the little men and women sign up ahead, I nearly cried tears of joy. We were at a radio event. The Boys were out there doing their thing and I finally had a minute for a bathroom break. It felt like I had been holding it in since we left the hotel that morning. The bathroom was empty when I stepped inside. I was just about to leave the stall when I heard the door open and heels against the tile floor. Then a familiar voice.
�Oh mom, I�ve been trying to reach you practically all week,� she said.
I know that voice, I thought with my hand resting on the door latch.
�No mom, no listen to me. Gosh!� she said. That sounds like Jessica. I peered through a small slit in the stall and there she was. She stood in the middle of the bathroom in her pink Juicy couture running suit and matching pink pumps talking on her cell. She was beginning to show slightly. Then, it only looked like a little bit of extra weight. When they were in public she�d hide it by wearing baggy clothes or Nick�s jacket. I didn�t quite know or understand why they were hiding it. If she remained on the tour her condition would become obvious to everyone.
Slowly I put one foot on the toilet, then the other, crouched down and held my breath. I was not in the mood to have an encounter with Ms. Jessica.
�I have something important to tell you. Ok are you ready for this?� She paused and I could just make out her mother talking on the other end.
�Believe me this is far more important than Paris getting a custom made Benz. You might want to sit down.�
Another pause.
�I�m pregnant!� she squealed like one of the Boys� fans at a concert.
�No, it�s not his, sadly. It�s-� she paused again. I assumed she was making sure she was alone. I prayed that she wouldn�t check each stall and find me cowering on top of the toilet. Did she say, �No, it�s not his.�? Who and what in the world does she mean by that? I thought. She couldn�t. . . she wouldn�t. . .
�Alright mom. It�s Jakes.� That last sentence echoed and reverberated in my mind. I thought I had heard wrong, that I was imagining her saying that. When realization hit me that she had just uttered those words I began to feel sick. I was torn between going out there and tackling the deceitful bitch or staying on the toilet and listening to more.
�Yes mother, I realize Jake is a piece of shit but he fucks like a madman. I couldn�t help myself. Anyway, that�s why as far as he, Nick, and anyone else is concerned this is not Jake�s kid. It�s Nick�s!� she said. I could feel the bile rise in my throat. Nick had to be told immediately. I wanted to throttle Jessica. I wanted to burst from my hiding place in the stall and beat the living hell out of her. But I could not move from my spot atop the toilet.
�You and I both know Nick would make a great father. I�m just glad he came to his senses and got back with me when he did. He has everything and I know he�ll give me� and the kid everything. I�ve already tested that little theory.� I think her mother asked, �How?� or �What do you mean?� because next she was saying,
�I got him to stop hanging around that little bitch of a stylist. He won�t even get into her chair.� She laughed a little. I had to hold myself back from leaping off the toilet to kill her.
The rest of her conversation passed in a blur. I was in complete shock. From what I could tell her mother seemed to be in complete agreement with her daughter�s deceitful plan.
�Well they should be done by now,� she said. Then, �I gotta go. So I can stand by my man.� I had to listen carefully now. My legs were really starting to cramp up and ache.
�Ok mom, I�ll call you later. See ya,� she said. I leaned forward bracing my hands against the door to peek through the crack. She had put her phone away and was preening in front of the mirror. She gave herself a smug smile, turned and left.
I slid my feet slowly off the toilet and stood. I felt shaken. Jessica�s deceitfulness did not surprise me but the lengths she was willing to go made me want to vomit. I had to tell Nick as soon as possible. How in the world are you going to do that after that huge fight you two had? I asked myself. He wasn�t talking to you before the fight, he�s definitely not speaking to you now.
Then I envisioned the life Jessica was so desperate to create with Nick. Her and him in some mansion in Beverly Hills with a little boy that looked more like Jessica than Nick. So much more that there seemed to not even be a trace of Nick in the child�s features. Nick none the wiser. It made me angry. He would have to be told, that was without question. I just had to figure out how I was going to get close enough to talk to him. Why do I have to be the one to tell him? How in the world do I get myself into these situations? I thought.
