�Well let�s go then,� Joshua said holding the door open for me.
We must have made an interesting little group as we came down the hall. I was dressed to kill with two equally handsome men on my arms. I spotted Nick instantly. He was sitting on the floor in front of his door reading. He looked up when we stepped off the elevator. I turned to Joshua and Derek.
�Maybe you two should go ahead of me. I need to speak to him. My room is right down there. Room 1024. Just knock and Cookie will let you in,� I told them.
�You�re going to tell me what�s going on later, right?� Derek said to Joshua.
�Oh of course,� he replied.
�Hey I heard that,� I said. Joshua sent me a broad smile before hurrying down the hall. I took a breath and headed over to Nick. He stood taking me by the arm and leading me a safe distance away from his door.
�She�s in there. I told her I was going to see Brian and then waited for you right there,� he said in a whisper. �Did you get it?�
�Yeah. How are you going to explain to her how you got the test?� I asked.
�I don�t know. I�ll figure it out,� he said.
�Ok. . . . well. . . . good luck,� I said. Later, I thought that was the stupidest thing I have ever said to someone in a crisis. What was I supposed to say?
�Thank you again,� he said pulling in for another hug. This one seemed to last longer than the last one.
�Nick,� I said once we drew apart. This question had been burning in the back of my head since I left Nick for my dinner. �How do you feel about all this?�
�I. . . . I don�t know exactly. I�m terrified I know that much. Jessica is definitely not the person I imagined as the mother of my children. I can�t even see her as the mother of anyone�s children. If she is pregnant and it is my kid�. I�ll take full responsibility.�
�Would you marry her?�
�I don�t know.� There was an uncomfortable silence that seemed to envelope both of us before Nick broke it. �I should get back to her. She�ll start to wonder where I am and I don�t want to get her riled up if she catches us together. I�m not in the mood for her yelling at the moment.�
�Ok I�ll see you tomorrow night, I guess. Before the show.�
�Yeah.� I turned to head for my room. Nick looked into the bag.
�Alexis!� he exclaimed.
�What is it?� I said turning.
�You bought three test?�
�Yes and you wouldn�t believe the looks I got for that. The cashier made some stupid joke about how he hoped Joshua and I got the results we wanted. I was not about to dignify that with an answer.�
�Ok but why three?� I sighed thinking I was going to have to explain my reasoning to Nick the way I did to Joshua before.
�Just have her take all three and if one comes up positive and the other negative the third is the tie breaker,� I replied. �Goodnight, Nick.�
�Night, Lexie,� he said turning towards his room.
The next night was utter chaos. Everyone was rushing around like chickens with their heads cut off. Trying to get a moment alone with Nick was like trying to get a moment with the president, next to impossible. I wanted to ask him if he had broached the subject of her taking a pregnancy test again. I wanted to talk to him face to face. I couldn�t talk to him in the makeup room. There was no way he was going to come to my hotel room and our bus was off limits to him now. I had to sit on my hands basically. I didn�t like that at all.
A few days later, I was unceremoniously grabbed and pulled into an empty room by none other than Nick. Since he was supposed to be avoiding me by order of Ms. Jessica we kept our conversations to text messages and secluded rendezvous.
�I have got to talk to you,� he said.
�I know. I�ve wanted to talk to you since our last night in New York. Have you asked her yet?�
�She won�t take the test,� he said urgently making sure the door was closed securely. He ran a nervous hand through his hair before massaging the back of his neck.
�What do you mean �she won�t take the test�?�
�I mean I asked her to take it again�. I even made up some bullshit excuse.�
�What did you say?�
�I told her how I wanted to be there to share the moment we got the results with her.�
�Good one.�
�Yeah well it didn�t work. She flat out refused. She said she thought the moment she told me the news should be cherished more. Then she said she�d carry that moment around with her always and that she�d tell our child about it,� he replied. Boy, this girl could spin a web, I thought.
�That should make for a good bedtime story. Jr. right after Mommy nearly got her ass kicked I told Daddy that we would be expecting a little bundle of joy.�
�Anyway, I kept asking her and then she got angry. She started yelling at me because I thought she was a liar and then she started in on all the things she�s done for me and how much she loves me and this is the way I treat her. Then after about ten minutes of that she ran into the bathroom and locked the door. I didn�t bother trying to get her out.�
�Ok. . . ok you have got to get her to take that test.�
�I know that. But how am I supposed to do that? I can�t force her to pee on the little stick.�
�I don�t know. Use that Carter charm that you�re so famous for,� I told him. He still looked unsure so, I continued, �Remember the time you guys and MTV were letting the fans vote for the next single from Millennium? You got on TV, told the viewing audience that �The One� was your favorite song and caused hundreds, maybe even thousands of girls to change their minds and their better judgment just to please you. I mean clearly, �Don�t Want You Back� should have won. . . but anyway. If you could do that then I think one crazy girlfriend should topple easily like dominos at your feet.�
He blushed slightly before giving me a broad grin. It was infectious. I couldn�t help but smile back. We just stared at each other smiling. I could feel my face getting warm and knew that had I�d been Nick�s complexion he�d see me blushing too. My heart sped up and I found myself staring at his blue blue eyes. That�s a really pretty blue, I thought. My gaze wandered from his eyes to his mouth. Very nice lips, I thought. I wander what it would be like to- What are you thinking?! I looked away first. It suddenly felt extremely hot in that room.
�I should go before I�m missed,� Nick was saying. I could only nod. �I�ll talk to you later.�
�Yeah ok,� I replied finally finding my tongue. Nick pulled me in for a hug.
�Thank you, so much. . . for everything,� he said into my ear. A shiver ran down my spine.
�Don�t mention it,� I told him. He pulled away turning towards the door. There was a question I wanted to ask. A question I should have asked as soon as he told me about his predicament. It burned the tip of my tongue now.
�Nick wait a minute.� I halted him. He closed the door turning towards me. He looked at me expectantly. �I have to ask you something. I probably should have asked this when you first told me. I guess it was just so much of a shock that it didn�t cross my mind till now.�
�Lex, you�re rambling,� he told me.
�Oh yeah sorry� the question. Is there a possibility that Jessica could be pregnant by you?� There was a moment of silence and what looked like anguish crossed Nick�s face.
�Yes,� he sighed.
�Oh. . . ok just thought I�d ask. I didn�t want to just assume. . .ya know,� I said looking away from him to the floor.
�Ok, I�ll just go. . . now,� he said and walked out the door. For some reason I felt this overwhelming feeling of disappointment. Did you expect him to say �no�? I asked myself.
�I don�t know,� I said aloud. I didn�t know a lot of things at the time. I didn�t know why I wanted to help Nick so badly. I didn�t know what in the world was happening to me. I didn�t know why I was hoping and praying that Jessica was not pregnant. I didn�t know why Nick�s answer to my question disappointed me. I didn�t know why it hurt me. I just. . . didn�t know.
I had to sit on my hands and wait for Nick to drag me into another empty room to find out if he was successful.
