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"You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who makes people happy, but inside he's real sad. Also, he has severe diarrhea. " "Hen might want to do that as a scene in his promo". Damn A2 walked out of Sinners and Saints still the SWF World Championship. Then again, A2 had all the benefits in the world to walk out the champion. Yet he asks like that he was the underdog? So Shawn Jackson helped Chris Staggs, you still had every single thing handed to you. Chris Staggs has two ,count them, two softened up matches during the month. A2 how dare you think that the match was a waste of your time. Why? Your damn character development thing. Then you accuse Chris Staggs of dropping the ball. What the fuck? Chris Staggs is one of the fucking cornerstones of the SWF. You don't believe me? Who has been here longer than Chris Staggs? No One. Pete Ebdon? He took his ball and went to the W3. Jason Rothchild? He gave you his ball and left. Alex Luciano? Please the guy ran to the IWF to play "Tha Dyna$ty" angle. These guys all jumped ship after they lost the SWF World Title. Chris Staggs lost his title back at the start of the summer and hasn't gone anywhere except juggling time with the SWF and FWF. Chris Staggs came back from shock therapy to wrestle a couple months ago after a one month treatment session. Where did he go? W3....no. IWF...nadda. He went back to the SWF. Loyalty is something you can't find these days in the wrestling industry. A2 you are not loyal. You jumped ship when you lost the SWF World Title the first time. Just like you will do this time around. It seems that Chris Staggs the only World Champion to have a match at the next pay per view after he lost the title in the last pay per view. But now I am getting off the point that I am trying to put in your hot air filled head. A2 you will never be the type of SWF wrestler Chris Staggs is. That is a loyal and steady wrestler. Oh as far as the still winning the title after you were role modeled by Shawn Jackson goes? Well I guess that would be embarrassing if Chris Staggs hadn't jumped up like it was nothing when you hit the ego trip on Chris Staggs. Did that hurt your ego? Did that make you think damn. If Chris Staggs hadn't been so idiotic then you would be the one say "If I had or I could have". We will never know ,but we do know that Chris Staggs didn't drop the ball. Chris Carey just threw a flag and gave the ball back to you. A2 get over yourself...you are nothing more than a two time world champion in the SWF record books while Chris Staggs's memory will remain prominent in the SWF for years to come. Hen Funny it seems just a week or two ago that you and Chris Staggs were stable mates. Now you and Chris Staggs are facing each other in a tag match. You find yourself teaming with Erik Olson one more time. Damn I thought you have wised up when you lost the tag team match a couple pay per views awhile back. You lost to Chris Staggs though that isn't unexpected. You also lost to MIKE STEELE!!! The guy made that match an handicap match for you and Olson. You still lost. So anyway the match is a tag team match this time. Chris Staggs has the number one contender in his corner. You remember Strick Carrington don't you Hen? Remember the guy that defeated you for the number one contender for the World Title. Hen now we know that you were undefeated in the IFW cause of your "special" relationship with Tepper. What is this now with Chris Carey? You trying to get another way overblown push? Seems that you haven't started off like you did with Tepper. I mean you actually lost a match. Hell you are going to start finding losing a comforting feeling. See Hen you are not the cock of the walk here....cock of the walk!? When the fuck did I become a seventy year old geezer? Hen you are nothing but another wrestler who believes his own hype. You have told yourself your good enough, your smart enough, and gosh darn it people like me, so many times that you have believed your own shit. That is one of the main reasons that you are not the one with the number one contender. Hen, I guess Kyle Broadway and Skitzo were right about you. You were the fourth choice in the stable. You haven't did anything. Hell you were handed the World Tag Team title. You haven't done shit in the SWF. You never will do anything in the SWF. This isn't the fucking IFW with your Jason Stylez or Cyrus Stones. This is the SWF and you won't face dark match wrestlers in the main events. You wonder why the IFW went belly up so many times. Oh well...Hen you and your lack luster tag partner Erik Olson will have the same result the last time you face Chris Staggs in a tag team match. Erik Olson Your back? When the fuck were you actually here? Oh you mean those three match losing streak. I guess you call that a stint if you want. Hell this is your first promo you have ever cut in the SWF. So you were never here. You only showed up and got your ass kicked about three matches then went oops I jacked off too hard. I am injured. Then earlier this week you come out saying how great you are and how you are going to end the career of Chris Staggs. Erik, exactly how far have you got in "Heel Gimmicks for Dummies"? The cocky "I'm the best thing ever" gimmick is being way overused. Especially from a guy who is 0-3 in the SWF. You say that you are the one that is going to end Chris Staggs's career eh? You are the one that is suppose to do what others couldn't do? How in the world do you expect to do that? You didn't accomplish in the last tag match. See that is what I am talking about your ego manic gimmick isn't working cause you have nothing to back your ego with. Wait you were a champion in the IFW? That changes nothing except you are better than the SWF dark matches. Erik Olson don't come out in these promos claiming that you are better than everyone when almost 80 percent of the roster has more wins than you. Hell I think that dog fucker Luke Lawless has more than one win. Erik Olson you haven't got a chance. Hell Hen isn't that good. So why put on this front about being the best the industry has to offer. What the hell industry is offering you the condom industry? They are offering you as proof what accidents produce? Erik Olson get this in your brain before you step into the ring this Monday Night. You are not facing Tha Killa and Jason Stylez. Chris Staggs and Strick Carrington are not two cheap rip offs of overused gimmicks forced in a crappy fed ran by a man named Tepper!? See Erik, you talk all this stuff about being great and shit yet you have lost three times since you have been in the SWF. You can talk all the talk you want but my statement is look at your stay in the SWF for all the answers. Erik Olson you are going to be 0-4 after Monday just accept that fact. "The Viking" Ned Norsemen Help me out on this Ned....when did numerous times mean one victory over Chris Staggs via help from Noithingface? What is it with people and making up the past? You know Ned they have a tapes showing what exactly happened. Nothingface was the one that defeated Chris Staggs. You were the lucky one that picked up the 1-2-3. Ned you say the attack was "just business". Whatever. You say that you found a new motivation? So you found the right combination of viagra, one a day and Prozac? That is good for you. Summing It Up So the two textbook ego driven heels are suppose to win this match? Once again Hen and Erik you can finish anything you star. Damn don't you remember the 1980's? The face always defeats the heel in the end. December 31, 2002 (Dates ARE COOL!) ( Camera fades in as we see a room filled with balloons and shit. Basically the place looks like a birthday party on crack. Chris Staggs walks out of the bathroom with the helium tank with a grin on his face. Chris Naggs and Bob The Blind Bum walk in through the front door. Chris Naggs looks at the place in horror as Chris Staggs has covered the floor in what looks to be rice. Chris Staggs gives a goofy grin ) [Chris Staggs:] Merry New Year!!!! [ Chris Naggs: ] Don't you mean Happy New Year? [Chris Staggs:] Fo Sho!? [ Chris Naggs: ] Fo sho... [Chris Staggs:] When do your balls drop? [ Chris Naggs: ] WHAT!? [Chris Staggs:] You know people count to ten and you lower your balls. [ Chris Naggs: ] Oh the Times Square Ball. [Chris Staggs:] Well!? [ Chris Naggs: ] Midnight [ Chris Staggs: ] But my bedtime is 8:30!? Can I stay up PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [ Chris Naggs: ] Umm I never gave you a bedtime. Sure you can stay up. ( Chris Staggs does the white boy happy dance...Don't act like you don't know what I am talking about. You know exactly what I am talking about. Chris Staggs looks at the clock and begins to count ) [ Chris Staggs: ] Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, ONE!!! Año Nuevo alegre!!!! ( Chris Naggs looks at the clock ) [ Chris Naggs: ] It's Eight o'clock! [ Chris Staggs: ] I get the short hand and long hand mixed up [ Chris Naggs: ] Its a digital clock! [ Chris Staggs: ] SO!? [ Chris Naggs: ] Nevermind... [ Chris Staggs: ] Let's play a GAME!! [ Chris Naggs: ] Sure... ( Chris Staggs runs into the bedroom and brings out Pin The Tell on the Donkey. He pins up the poster. ) [ Chris Staggs: ] Bob you can go first. ( Bob The Blind Bum stumbles toward Chris Staggs's voice. Chris Staggs then blindfolds Bob The Blind Bum as Chris Naggs just shakes his head ) [ Chris Staggs: ] What?! [ Chris Naggs: ] Is that really needed? [ Chris Staggs: ] YES! He cheated at hide n go seek the other week. [ Chris Naggs: ] Fine. ( Chris Staggs spins Bob The Blind Bum around as Bob walks forward as he trips over the end table and falls to the ground as Chris Staggs rushes over to Bob The Blind Bum. He takes off the blindfold and holds up three fingers ) [ Chris Staggs: ] How many fingers am I holding up? [ Bob The Blind Bum: ] I can't see your fingers idiot! [ Chris Staggs: ] DEAR GOD HE IS DEAF!!!! [ Chris Naggs: ] Don't you mean blind? [ Chris Staggs: ] He heard me didn't he? [ Chris Naggs: ] Why do I even try? [ Chris Staggs: ] Cause trying puts out forest drugs. [ Chris Naggs: ] Okay?! [Chris Staggs:] What else is there to do? [ Chris Naggs: ] Well we can make resolutions. [Chris Staggs:] Okay I will be right back. ( Chris Staggs runs into the bedroom as a few moments later Chris Staggs runs out with a NY Jets Helmet, a trench coat and a Richard Nixon mask on ) [Chris Staggs:] Okay I am ready who are we going to fight. [ Chris Naggs: ] Huh!? OH NO NOT REVOLUTION..........RESOLUTIONS! [Chris Staggs:] Oh what is that? [ Chris Naggs: ] You make a commitment to improve something about yourself [Chris Staggs:] Fo Sho? Well I revolt to improve my essay writing. [ Chris Naggs: ] The hell? [Chris Staggs:] That is what my fourth grade English teacher told me to do. [ Chris Naggs: ] NO!! Something you can improve now and use. [Chris Staggs:] Oh I want to become the world record holder of eating bake beans without farting. [ Chris Naggs: ] I guess that is good enough. [Chris Staggs:] What is your revolt? [ Chris Naggs: ] I guess getting laid more often [Chris Staggs:] But didn't those two big Hawaiian men lay you? [ Chris Naggs: ] Not that lay...I mean sex. [Chris Staggs:] Oh you mean the naughty vertical tango [ Chris Naggs: ] Don't you mean horizontal? [Chris Staggs:] Does it matter? [ Chris Naggs: ] I guess it doesn't [Chris Staggs:] Ewww look a Cluck Cluck old camera thing. ( Chris Staggs and crew take a seat and begin to watch the Hen channel. ) Three Hours Later... ( Chris Staggs and crew wake up as the first promo ends ) [Chris Staggs:] Is it time? [ Chris Naggs: ] Yep 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [ Chris Staggs:] HAPPY LENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ( Chris Naggs and Bob The Blind Bum just shake their heads as Chris Staggs looks around. ) [ Chris Staggs:] That's it?! [ Chris Naggs: ] Yep [ Chris Staggs:] That blows....I am going to bed... ( Chris Staggs pouts and storms into his room ) ( END PROMO )
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