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Insane Quotes….
“After I die, wherever my spirit goes, I'm going to try to get back and visit my skeleton at least once a year, because, "Hey, old buddy, how's it going?"
A2 maybe Chris Staggs will let you visit the SWF Title once a year..
Guess what A2? I’m back again. You say that a narrator shouldn’t talk game for you. Well I am part a dying breed I guess. You look around the SWF and all you see is wrestlers narrating their own shit. Then they repeat themselves. Thought having a guy narrator his own promo is nothing more than a over used trend. We all know how you hate to be trendy. That is why you still have this heel cocky ego manic champion gimmick. Please A2 give us a break. There hasn’t been a face champion since umm…….fuck I don’t know when the last time there has been a face champion. The way it looks Chris Staggs is a face. He needs to break the streak. Hell I don’t think there has been a face champion since the SWF reopened. Damn that is a shame. Anyway A2, why do you care that I am fighting Chris Staggs’s war of words? I know Chris Staggs can back up my words. Plus I think my trashing is getting to you. You are starting to become speechless. Did I leave you in a daze? Did I leave you grasping for insults. Did I insult you? Did I strike a nerve? Did I make you feel like an idiot? Well guess what it is fixing to happen again bitch.
A2
So A2 you say that you are doing this life story thing for a Character Development. What kind of fucking development do you need to do to make your gimmick as an ego manic heel need? Fuck Chris Carey is developing your gimmick for you. So why waste our time with irrelevant stories about when you where younger. You are not Tom Hanks and this isn’t fucking Forrest Gump. I know I am rehashing shit that I already said but fuck I just don’t get people who tell us their life…fuck character development all you are doing is filling space. Though if that wasn’t bad enough…you have to call Jay Stepbourn to help you trash Chris Staggs. Grow some damn balls A2 and step up to the plate. You have let Chris Carey take your first swing. Now you have Jay Stepbourn taking your second swing. The least you could do is take the third and final swing for the strikeout. A2 you have surrounded yourself with false confidence. You think that Chris Carey plan is finally going to work? Please it has failed every step so far. Damn A2 do you still believe in the Easter Bunny too? You have Jay Stepbourn come out in your promo and talk shit about Chris Staggs. I left him speechless. How did you finish the first grade? You have no common sense it seems. So A2 why are you so confident? Can’t you see everything crumbling around you? Of course not you are too busy looking at yourself in the reflection of the gold plate on the SWF World Championship. A2 you talk about becoming the SWF’s Longest Reigning Champion yet you don’t realize that you have a chance of having yet another short World Title reign. Well A2 I have to give you props. You didn’t lose it before the pay per view this time. Way to go Tiger. Too bad you have join the one-month club now. Tiger and you have lots to talk about. You can say Chris Staggs wasn’t much of a champion, but he does have one successful pay per view title defense. Something you can’t say. So A2 you still believe you are going to be the SWF Longest Reigning Champion? Oh wait the match is a Steel Cage Lumberjack Ladder Match with special ref and special enforcer. Ha! That isn’t going to stop destiny. That isn’t going to stop Chris Staggs from climbing up that ladder and grabbing the title. Look at who plan it was? Chris Carey’s plan. That means it is doomed to fail. Do we need to run through the failed steps so far or do you finally get it. Chris Carey isn’t the genius you think he is. Hell he can’t even carry out a textbook corporate screw job correctly. Chris Staggs is supposed to come into the match with a losing streak. Hell Chris Staggs has defeated your bodyguard and left him MIA. He kicked the six time Hardcore Champion’s JEW ass. So Chris Staggs comes in to the match with a two match winning streak while you well you lost to The Hen. So now Chris Carey stacks the odds. He adds stipulation after stipulation. He wants everything to favor you. Yet he doesn’t realize the more stips he puts on, the more he risks of things blowing up in his face. He has put you in a must win situation. You have to win. You have the pressure to win. while Chris Staggs can walk into the match relaxed and no pressure. This isn’t a must win situation for Chris Staggs. See Chris Carey has screwed up again. It’s a wonder that the SWF hasn’t went belly up with Carey holding the reigns. Though I don’t need to go off on a Chris Carey rant. We all know that this corporate screw job is going to eventually going to blow up with you losing the SWF World Title. Yet you go on thinking that you have nothing to worry about. You are oblivious to your downward spiral you call a SWF World Title reign. As far as the moniker of The Lone Spectacle Of Wrestling goes well what a spectacle it will be when your title reign goes up in flames.
Jay Stepbourn
Doctor Jay Stepbourn….you think that since you are not going to be at the SWF arena that you can insult Chris Staggs without feeling the wrath of the narrator. Please bitch quit giving yourself a prostate check up and listen up. You haven’t got a dog in this fight why are you place your bets with counterfeit money. You haven’t got nothing on me. You think that since you beat Chris Staggs once that makes you an expert on beating Chris Staggs. Well you won one fucking match. Get over yourself. You ain’t shit to me.
Shitzo
The Paraplegic is thinking that he is the best thing to come from the America’s Most Wanted? Yet what is he doing? He is facing the washed up has been by the name of Shawn Jackson while Chris Staggs is fixing to win the World Title. Yeah Shitzo keep telling yourself you are good enough, you are smart enough, and gosh darn it people like me, maybe one day you can have a chance at the main event spot. Till then SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!
The Number One Contender
Strick Carrington is 0-1 against Chris Staggs in World Title matches. The Hen is 0-1 against Chris Staggs in any match .So why should Chris Staggs care about either one. They will be Chris Staggs’s next month’s successful title defense. They haven’t got shit to put up against Chris Staggs .They haven’t a chance of winning the title. Fuck I don’t think they could defeat A2 if by some miracle that he would walk out of Saint & Sinners still champion.
Summing It Up
Chris Carey is nothing more than a blind man leading his horse, A2, to water in the middle of the desert. They are both going to dead and smelling of shit. But isn’t that how it always goes?
( We open up as we see Chris Staggs in bed fast a sleep with Mr. Snuggles The Teddy Bear in a bear hug. The picture goes into waves as we hit the most overused promo gadget ever…. )
DREAM SEQUENCE!!!!
( We open up along a dirt road in the deep south as we see a young little Chris Staggs with his Scooby Doo lunch box and same clothes that he wears today. Anyway we now see a school bus pulling up. The bus stops as the door opens. Chris Staggs stops )
[ Bus Driver: ] Well aren’t you going to get on
[ Chris Staggs: ] Momma always said not to get in cars with strangers…………My name Chris….Chris Staggs
[ Bus Driver: ] My name is Dorothy Levens
[ Chris Staggs: ] Well I guess we ain’t strangers no more
( Chris Staggs gets on the bus as he tries to find a seat )
[ Kid One: ] Can’t sit here
[ Chris Staggs: ] Fo sho?
[ Kid Two: ] Seat taken
[ Chris Staggs: ] Fo Sho?
[ Kid Three: ] Are you stoopid our something
[ Chris Staggs: ] Momma always said Stupid is as Chris Staggs does.
( The kid looks at him in disbelief as Chris Staggs starts to stand up. )
[ Voice: ] You can sit here if you want.
( Chris Staggs turns around and sees no other than Chris Naggs!!!!. )
[ Chris Staggs: ] FO SHO!!!.
[ Chris Naggs: ] Why do you always say Fo sho?
( Chris Staggs shrugs his shoulder)
[ Chris Staggs: ] My name is Chris………Chris Staggs.
[ Chris Naggs: ] My name is Chris Naggs
[ Chris Staggs: ] Why are you so short
[ Chris Naggs: ] Cause I am a midget
[ Chris Staggs: ] So you are a Leprechaun?
[ Chris Naggs: ] WHAT?! NO!!
[ Chris Staggs: ] So umm….well this is boring
[ Chris Naggs: ] Yeah it is….this dream blows
[ Chris Staggs: ] Dream!?
[ Chris Naggs: ] Yeah this is a dream.
[ Chris Staggs: ] FO SHO!!!
[ Chris Naggs: ] Think of something else
[ Chris Staggs: ] Fo Sho…
( A bright flash as we see Chris Staggs and Chris Naggs walking home as Chris Staggs and Chris Naggs are teenagers. Just then a Escalade is seen behind them. The guys throw hang out side the Escalade and start throwing rocks as it hits Chris Staggs. Chris Staggs stops.)
[ Chris Naggs: ] RUN CHRIS RUN!!!!
( Chris Staggs starts running as the Escalade speeds up Chris Staggs turns off the run and runs into the woods as then another flash occurs and Chris Staggs GOTZ HIMSELF A GUN OH NO!. He is decked out in Army gear. Chris Staggs stops as Chris Naggs follows him in army gear. )
[ Chris Naggs: ] The hell we are in Vietnam
( Just then a 1979 El Camino with hydraulics with DMX blaring goes by as it’s a drive by. Chris Staggs and Chris Naggs hit the ground and cover there heads.. )
[ Chris Naggs: ] Drive bys in VIETNAM DUH FOCK!!!
( They stand back up as they are in they are in China as Chris Staggs has a paddle in his head. Chris Staggs serves and the Chinese hits it back and Chris Staggs misses )
[ Chris Naggs: ] You are suppose to win!
[ Chris Staggs: ] I suck at ping pong.
[ Chris Naggs: ] This is your dream you can be good at ping pong
[ Chris Staggs: ] Well I already lost.
( Yet another bright flash and we shaking hands with George Bush Sr. )
[ Chris Naggs: ] Okay this makes no sense. Why are we shaking hands with the President?
[ Chris Staggs: ] Shhhhhhhhhh He doesn’t know that
[ Chris Naggs: ] Okay!?
( Guess what? A flash as Chris Staggs and Chris Naggs are in a room as we see a doctor. )
[ Doctor: ] She doesn’t have long to live
[ Chris Staggs: ] FO SHO!?
[ Chris Naggs: ] Oh damn
( They enter the room as Chris Staggs is filled with sadness as Chris Naggs just shakes his head in disbelief. )
[ Chris Naggs: ] That is Sally Field you idiot.
[ Chris Staggs: ] Oh BYE!!!
( We have yet another flash as we see Chris Staggs and Chris Naggs in a shrimp boat as Chris Staggs has a fish pole. He casts it out into the water then waits as Chris Naggs looks confused. )
[ Chris Naggs: ] Aren’t we suppose to use the net
[ Chris Staggs: ] No idea how to work it.
[ Chris Naggs: ] Umm all this seem familiar
( The wind starts blowing hard as then the shipped is tossed around as they were on a three hour tour. They land on an island as you see a sign marked “Gilligan’s Island”. Chris Naggs looks at the sign. )
[ Chris Naggs: ] Figures….
( FLASH! As we see Chris Staggs and Chris Naggs running as they run you see mountains, deserts, cities, as Chris Naggs has a long beard on. Chris Naggs looks down.. )
[ Chris Naggs: ] The hell !? Why am I the one with the beard?
[ Chris Staggs: ] I don’t look good with one
[ Chris Naggs: ] And why are we running on a tread mill?!
[ Chris Staggs: ] I don’t fill like running to all those places.
( One more flash as we see Chris Naggs lying in bed.. )
[ Chris Naggs: ] Chris I have aids………THE FUCK! I AM NOT GOING TO DIE IN YOUR DREAM!!!
[ Chris Staggs: ] There is a cure though….HIT IT!!!
( Just then Run DMC appears Run then puts his hand on Chris Naggs‘s head.. )
[ Run: ] YOU'RE HEALED!!!
[ Chris Naggs: ] OW!!
( Just then Run DMC leaves as Chris Naggs motions for Chris Staggs to come closer. )
[ Chris Staggs: ] What is it?
[ Chris Naggs: ] Do me this last thing before I go
[ Chris Staggs: ] FO SHO!!!
[ Chris Naggs: ] DON’T EVER WATCH FORREST GUMP AND YO MTV RAPS BEFORE YOU GO TO BED EVER AGAIN!!!!
[ Chris Staggs: ] FO SHO!!!
( BAM!!! Chris Staggs wakes up as he is in an airplane seat as they land in HAWAII!!!.. )
[ Chris Staggs: ] Where are we?!
[ Camera Crew: ] Back in Hawaii..
[ Chris Staggs: ] Back!?
[ Camera Crew: ] Yeah we were in Japan
[ Chris Staggs: ] Why fly? We could have drove.
[ Camera Crew: ] Cause we want to fly.
[ Chris Staggs: ] FO SHO!!
( The plane lands and stops as the flight attendant.. )
[ Flight Attendant: ] Go on and get outta this bitch. Fly Ebonic Delta Real Soon Bitch!!
[ Camera Crew: ] It was the only flight going to Hawaii from Japan
( The exit the plane into the airport as Chris Naggs stands there. Chris Staggs looks at him and says. )
[ Chris Staggs: ] I promise I will never watch Forrest Gump and YO MTV RAPS EVER AGAIN!
[ Chris Naggs: ] OKAY?!
( Chris Staggs gives a goofy grin )
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