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Insane Quotes….
“If you ever reach total enlightenment while you're drinking a beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose“
Kinda like the thought of A2 having the longest SWF World Title Reign.
I am a narrator and I know nothing about your world…please bitch. Yet I am the one that touches that sore nerve of yours every time I cut a promo. I see why you don’t won’t me to talk. You know that I am getting to you. Yet you give us the typical drool about how Chris Staggs’s promo sucked and that it is a waste of your time. Wow did you come up with that all by yourself? Of course you didn‘t…that is yet another fucking page out of Pete Ebdon’s book of cutting promos. So you say Chris Staggs gimmick is idiotic yet you rip off ever heel champion that has been in use since the beginning of wrestling. Anyway A2 you want me to shut up. Why? Cause I am calling you out on the truths that you don’t to face? I mean why else would you now have to call in reinforcements like Jay Stepbourn who hasn’t defeated Pete Ebdon of all people. Yet you are going to get advice from a guy like that….now who is the fucking idiot? A2, I am going to keep talking cause I can. I will keep jab you with shots. Yet I know you will say “oh that was weak” or “that wasn’t worth my time“. I know you are going to keep on with this same song and dance. So I am going to continue to massacre you on the mic. Wait better not do that or you will have Chris Carey coming out and doing your fucking promos. Grow some balls bitch.
A2
Character Development was your excuse…I mean reasoning for going on and on about your awkward years going through puberty? What kind a development do you get from that? I mean so you are a late bloomer big fucking deal. So you have never gotten to first base….big fucking deal. So you haven’t seen pussy since pussy had you …..big fucking deal. A2, I hate to break it to you but you are wasting your time cause most of the world already knows you are a fucking loser that has been given success. You haven’t earned shit since you have gotten here. So you won the hardcore title…wow congrats I bet beating people which as much success as Luke Lawless was a hard task. Oh as for defending the title who can’t beat xXx or a no show….wait that would be the same thing. Anyway my point is that your hardcore title reign was given to you. As for your World Title reign….hey a blind squirrel finds an acorn once in a blue moon. You showed you couldn’t do shit when you lost the damn title to TIGER!!! TIGER!!! OF ALL PEOPLE ON THE ROSTER YOU LOST TO THE FAKE THUG!!! So don’t go talking about Chris Staggs isn’t shit. Chris Staggs was given the title…same as you. The thing is Chris Staggs held on to the title for two months. While you will not hang on to the for more than a month. You can come up with all these thing about Chris Staggs not being worth a damn, but in reality he has done more for this company than you will ever know. A2 now you have gone so far to as attacking a guys gimmick and you say my shit is weak. A2 you call Chris Staggs an idiot than you come back a couple minutes later and say that he isn’t a idiot that he is faking. What the fuck A2? I have you so messed up that you are contradicting yourself. You don’t know what to think. You then point out that he is on staff with the IWF. Yet have you really seen Chris Staggs there…NO. Have you ever seen Chris Staggs calling the shots…..NO! You can stand there and lie and say that you have seen Chris Staggs back there. You were employed with the IWF. You know back when you were kissing Jimmy Luciano’s ass. I see things haven’t changed only the ass you’re kissing. You think that insures yourself of the longest reign in history. Damn I thought Chris Staggs was the idiot here. A2 have you been watching the last month’s Adrenalines? Have you seen every single plan blow up in Chris Carey’s face? Are you even there half the time? I mean fuck you put all this faith in Chris Carey’s plan that you are blind to see that it is unraveling before your eyes. I know I know though A2 the last plan will not fail. I guess you are due, but you are the last plan. That is a sure omen that Chris Staggs has this damn title wrapped up. Wait the stipulation favors you…a ladder match. You have never lost a ladder match. So you won one fucking ladder match. That doesn’t call for a parade and the key to the town. That means you must have faced a Jay Cash or James E. White in the ladder match. A2 you said my trash talking has fizzled…no I was just getting started. I haven’t shot my load prematurely though I don’t need to tell you about shooting your load too early do I A2? So A2 am I wasting your time now? Are you going to do an Andrew Davis stance and not cut promos. Typical ripping off people’s ideas again. Wait don’t tell me A2.…..Chris Staggs has a trendy gimmick. Gimmick or not…this idiot gimmick has got him a shot at the World Title. While you gimmick is nothing more than generic. Yeah you want to talk about gimmicks than we will talk about gimmick. I know I said it was weak but I am not only going to verbally rape you with my style but I want to take your style and finish the damn job. I mean you can’t even trash talk by yourself….you had to ask help from Jay Stepbourn…….THAT’S A JACKOFF MOVE!!!
Jay Stepbourn
What the fuck!? So W3 wrestlers get free airtime anytime they won’t? Jay Stepbourn fuck off. The only seminars you could give was ways to deal with Erectile Dysfunction . Jay Stepbourn you are nothing more than a one hit wonder. I mean did you ever win a fucking title in ANY FED?! Oh and when did you become a fucking doctor…just because you won the game operation doesn’t make you a doctor. So Jay do us all a favor and stay your ass in W3!!!
Shitzo
Are you an idiot? I hate to break it to you but you were not the first one to defeat Hen. Chris Staggs was the first man to defeat Hen in a tag match and Chris Staggs had MIKE STEELE as a partner. So you know that was a handicap from the start. So don’t get full of your self cause Chris Staggs had to win with one arm tied behind his back in that match.
The Number One Contender
Who ever wins…will lose at Genesis II. I mean Chris Staggs has an undefeated over both guys so why should he care about the damn match
Summing It Up
Chris Staggs has no shot? A2 is the best wrestler in the SWF right now. Chris Staggs has untapped potential. FUCK OFF….This match is Chris Staggs’s. Chris Staggs will win…its like Christmas without presents if Chris Staggs doesn’t win.
( We see the plane touching down as many Japanese people exit the plane. The crew goes back to the bathroom that we saw Chris Staggs get knocked out in. They open the door as Chris Staggs comes too and walks out of the bathroom rubbing his head. )
[ Chris Staggs: ] DUH FOCK!?
[ Camera Crew: ] We are in Japan!
[ Chris Staggs: ] FO SHO!!!!!
[ Camera Crew: ] What?!
[ Chris Staggs: ] FO SHO!!!
[ Camera Crew: ] WE ARE IN JAPAN!!!
[ Chris Staggs: ] And………
[ Camera Crew: ] THE SHOW IS IN HAWAII!
[ Chris Staggs: ] So we can drive over.
( The camera shakes his head is disbelief. )
[ Chris Staggs: ] Come on lets check out the dead fish capitol of the world.
[ Camera Crew: ] Ok...WHAT?
( Chris Staggs walks off the plane as Chris Staggs looks around in confusion)
[ Chris Staggs: ] Where is all the sand?
[ Camera Crew: ] I have no idea…idiot
[ Chris Staggs: ] Lets GO!!!
MEANWHILE
( Chris Naggs is seen with the cell phone in hand. )
[ Chris Naggs: ] CHRIS TURN ON YOUR CELL PHONE!!!
BACK IN JAPAN
( Chris Staggs and Camera Crew are seen walking the hard streets of Tokyo. )
[ Chris Staggs: ] LEPRECHAUNS EVERYWHERE!!!
[ Camera Crew: ] WHAT!?
[ Chris Staggs: ] LOOK!
( Chris Staggs and Camera crew are head and shoulders above the Japanese people. )
[ Chris Staggs: ] SHORT PEOPLE MEAN LEPRECHAUNS!!
( Chris Staggs grabs a Japanese man. )
[ Chris Staggs: ] GIMME GOLD!!!
[ Japanese Man: ] AGHHHHH!!!!
( Chris Staggs slaps the man. The Japanese man backs up and does some karate stance. )
[ Japanese Man: ] WAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
.
[ Chris Staggs: ] AH I HOPE YOU SLEEPED WELL!!
( Chris Staggs mouth continues the move. )
[ Chris Staggs: ] TONIGHT YOU DIE!!!!
( Chris Staggs mouth continues the move. )
[ Camera Crew: ] When did this become a Godzilla movie?
( Chris Staggs starting move his hand in a circular motion. )
[ Chris Staggs: ] WAX ON!!!
( Chris Staggs reverses the circular motion. )
[ Chris Staggs: ] WAX OFF!!!
MEANWHILE
( Chris Naggs sits at a bar again with the cell phone to his ear )
[ Chris Naggs: ] ANSWER YOUR DAMN PHONE!!!!
BACK IN THE MEAN STREETS OF TOKYO JAPAN
( Chris Staggs stops the wax on and wax off and starts doing the running man. )
[ Chris Staggs: ] GO NINJA GO NINJA GO!!!
[ Camera Crew: ] Ummm he is gone.
[ Chris Staggs: ] TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLE KUNG FU DOES IT EVERYTIME!!!
( Chris Staggs stops doing the running man as they walk to a restaurant as Chris Staggs looks down... )
[ Chris Staggs: ] FREE SHOES!!!!
[ Camera Crew: ] NO! You are suppose to take off your shoes before you go in.
[ Chris Staggs: ] FO SHO!
( Chris Staggs takes off his shoes and walks in and looks around at the place for a minute or two then turns around and leaves the restaurant. )
[ Camera Crew: ] Why did we leave?
[ Chris Staggs: ] DUH!!
[ Camera Crew: ] Duh what?
[ Chris Staggs: ] PLACE WAS A BAD PLACE!!
( The Camera Crew sighs )
[ Chris Staggs: ] I don’t think they cook their food….besides they didn’t have any chairs
[ Camera Crew: ] I am hungry
[ Chris Staggs: ] GO EAT!
[ Camera Crew: ] We got to tape you
[ Chris Staggs: ] I cam tape myself.
[ Camera Crew: ] Should we?
[ Chris Staggs: ] I do it before every match
( Chris Staggs gives a goofy grin )
[ Chris Staggs: ] FO SHO!
( Chris Staggs wanders over to an outside Karaoke bar. Chris Staggs gets on stage with a mic )
[ Chris Staggs: ]
I've got your picture
Of me and you
You wrote, 'I love you.'
I love you, too
I sit there staring when there's nothing else to do
Oh, it's in color
Your hair is brown
Your eyes are hazel
And soft as clouds
I often kiss you when there's no one else around
I've got your picture, got your picture
I'd like a million of 'em over myself
I want a doctor to take your picture
So I can look at you from inside as well
You've got me turning up, I'm turning down, I'm turning in, and I'm turning 'round
I'm turning Japanese, I think I'm turning Japanese, I really think so
Turning Japanese, I think I'm turning Japanese, I really think so
Turning Japanese, I think I'm turning Japanese, I really think so
Turning Japanese, I think I'm turning Japanese, I really think so
EVERY ONE!!!!
( Chris Staggs points the mic out among the passing crowd )
[ EVERYONE: ] Turning Japanese, I turning Japanese, I think !
[ Chris Staggs: ] NO!!!!!!!! CUT THE MUSIC!!! ITS I THINK I’M TURNING JAPANESE I REALLY THINK SO!!!
[ EVERYONE: ] Turning Japanese, I turning Japanese, I think !
[ Chris Staggs: ] YOU SUCK!!!!
[ ASIAN Hooker: ] SUCKIE SUCKIE FIVE DOLLAR!!
[ Chris Staggs: ] QUIT FOLLOWING ME!!!!
( Chris Staggs drops the mic as he walks among the crowd. )
[ Chris Staggs: ] EWWWWW I WANT ONE THOSE!!!
[ Camera Crew: ] WHAT?
[ Chris Staggs: ] THAT!
( Chris Staggs points at a Komo in the window. He enters the building. )
MEANWHILE
( Chris Naggs drinking a shot of whiskey. )
[ Chris Naggs: ] Gimme another shot.
[ Bartender: ] I don’t think you need another shot.
[ Chris Naggs: ] LISTEN I WILL TELL YOU WHEN I HAD ENOUGH!!
( Fucking Midget you are drunk while Chris Staggs is a creating havoc in Japan. )
[ Chris Naggs: ] Why don’t you tell him to get on the plan and fly back?
( The idiot runs every time he hears me. )
[ Chris Naggs: ] AWWW SHIT!!!
[ Bartender: ] Who are you talking to?
( END PROMO )
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