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Insane Quotes….
“What is it that makes a complete stranger dive into an icy river to save a solid-gold baby? Maybe we'll never know. “
Like we will never know why A2 told us his life story.
Nice plan Carey so far you are 0-3 in the masterful plans. JEW was suppose to soften Chris Staggs up. Yet what happens? Chris Staggs gets the victory over him. Yet you say JEW did his job. Though if he had did his job then Caster should have been able to take care of Chris Staggs which again failed. Damn Carey that is 0-2 then you had a chance for Staggs to pass the sanity test? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Carey you say you have a back up plan…well going on recent history your plans have about as much chance of working as Shitzo’s chance of getting up and running around with the artificial legs. Carey come out and just say it…the idiotic mastermind has you stumped. Chris Carey you have said that Chris Staggs has no chance. You have said this since you named Chris Staggs the number one contender. Your track record of being right this month has been as good as the Cubs track record of making the World Series in the last fifty years. Chris Carey you have no control, no influence, or no chance of effecting to outcome of the match. Chris Carey face it you are a joke. You have not right running this company. Fuck that pedophile Matt Kramer did a better job than you. At least he didn’t pull a Justin Goldman and try to fuck with the talent. Chris Carey and your plan will be foiled by the idiotic mastermind…Don’t believe me, I guess time will tell. I guess Sunday Night about 11:00 eastern time, you will see that you couldn’t even out smart the dumbest wrestler in the SWF. Carey you have stacked the odds against Chris Staggs yet he has came through ever challenge smelling like roses. A2 will be the final card knocked down that is holding this house cards you call this corporation style gimmick title reign together.
A2
Finally it is time to unleash a month of trash talking that has built up for a month on you this week. First though it was a cold snowy day on January the third in 1978 as Mrs. Staggs was a pushing and pushing then………wait fuck it I am not going to waste my time and yours with a fucking life story. A2 why the fuck did you ramble on and on about it. I mean fuck A2 I don’t give a shit about you awkward puberty years of 18 and 19. A2 you seem to like to ramble though. So that only means on thing that you have bought Pete Ebdon’s 101 Ways To Bore Your Opponent to Death. You are practically using one of his strategies. It hasn’t worked in the last six months. It will not work with you recycling it. Frankly no one cares that you didn’t get your first kiss till you were twenty years old. We just plain don’t fucking care. Now that I got that out of the way lets us talk about the match. A2 are you going fight your match or are you going to have Chris Carey come out and fight it for you? It seems that it was Chris Carey has been doing that for the last fucking month. A2 you have been given everything right now and you have the upper hand thanks to Chris Carey. A2 please come on and grow some balls. You talk about how you are great and how you are the best thing to happen to the Superior Wrestling Federation. Damn there you go taking another page out of Pete Ebdon. Damn A2 you talk about Chris Staggs having changed gimmicks. Well that maybe true ,but at least Chris Staggs hasn’t ripped off a gimmick page for page. A2 the next Pete Ebdon in the making? I hope for my sanity and the rest of the SWF world that you are not. No one needs that drivel and endless ramblings. Anyway getting back to the match. You state well Chris Carey states that you haven’t lost a ladder match. Well you won your only ladder match thank goodness. I mean no one is perfect and streaks are meant to be broken. A2 you have all the pressure on you. Chris Carey has indirectly did that in his quest to stack the odds against Chris Staggs. Look at it…you have all these things going for you and have no excuse not to win the match, yet Chris Staggs can all the excuses in the world why he didn’t win the title. So as I see it all the pressure is on your shoulders not Chris Staggs’s shoulders. A2 the time draws near as the pressure mounts you will crumble like you did when you faced Tiger on Adrenaline. Duh Fock!? You will never hold the longest streak in SWF history cause you are nothing more than a choke artist. You can’t hold on to the World Title more than one month. Well Cinderella the clock strikes midnight come Sunday Night at the main event.
Alex Luciano
So you came back to the SWF after you got your ass handed to you by the FWF Jobber Brian Allen? You have came back with your tail between your legs hoping to become the SWF World Champion again yet you criticize the roster thinking you are better than the roster and this is after you be Cobliri Jr. I hate to admit this to you Alex but on Adrenaline you faced the SWF Circle Jerk, everyone gets a turn to beat him. So Alex you are not great, you are not a legend. You are not going to reboot your career with another stop in the SWF..
AMW Demise
Who gives a flying fuck?! I mean you have drunk Mexican, a paraplegic, and a ego manic in that same stable. You knew something had to give with that deadly combination of personalities and it did. So AMW didn’t last…nothing never does. So let’s move on. America’s Most Wanted I guess have been caught.
The Number One Contender
Hen or Strick? Strick has never been able to hold on to the ball when it was given to him. The Hen? Can we say PUSH IT BABY!!! When Chris Staggs overcomes the odds and defeats A2 does he care who he faces? No and why should he, these two guys haven’t won anything since they have been in the SWF.
Summing It Up
A2 , time has come to finally talk for yourself. Now go get your hooked on phonic and practice cause you have just been broken down verbally.
( We see the plane touch down as the door opens turning into steps as two Hawaiian girls are standing next to the steps. Chris Staggs, Chris Naggs, and Bob The Blind Bum walk down the steps as the Hawaiian girls has leis. They offer him one. )
[ Chris Staggs: ] DUH FOCK!?
[ Hawaiian Girl: ] We are going to lei you
[ Chris Staggs: ] CHRIS THEY GOING TO LEI YOU!!!!
[ Chris Naggs: ] What?!
[ Chris Staggs: ] YOU SAID YOU HAVEN’T BEEN LEIED BEFORE
[ Chris Naggs: ] HUH!? What are you talking about I have been laid many times, I am getting laid all the time.
[ Chris Staggs: ] But you said….
[ Chris Naggs: ] I HAVE BEEN LAID!
[ Chris Staggs: ] EWWWW COCONUTS!!! YAY!!!
( Chris Staggs reaches out and grabs the coconut bra on the Hawaiian girl. He then pulls it off of her. He looks inside of it as Chris Naggs looks awe struck. )
[ Chris Staggs: ] NO MILK!!!
( Chris Naggs is just stuck there staring as Chris Staggs hands the women back the coconut bra. She puts it back on and slaps him. Chris Staggs rubs his face as Chris Staggs and Chris Naggs get off the plane as they begin to walk into the airport. They stop as Chris Naggs looks back to see no Bob The Blind Bum. )
[ Chris Naggs: ] FUCK!
[ Chris Staggs: ] YOU SAID A WORDY DIRT!!!
[ Chris Naggs: ] Bob must still be on the plane
[ Chris Staggs: ] DE PLANE!!! DE PLANE!!!!
( The plane starts to take off again. Chris Naggs starts to run waving his hands )
[ Chris Naggs: ] STOP!!!
( Chris Staggs sees Chris Naggs and starts waving )
[ Chris Staggs: ] BYE BYE!!!!
[ Chris Naggs: ] Damn..
[ Chris Staggs: ] FO SHO!!! HEY WHERE IS BOB?
( Chris Naggs just walks by Chris Staggs into the airport )
[ Chris Staggs: ] BOB!!! BOB!!!! HIDE N’ GO SEEK
( Chris Staggs starts looking around as he walks into a plane. The camera crew joins him. The door closes behind him as the flight attendant stands in front of the people. )
[ Flight Attendant: ] Sir please take a seat.
( Chris Staggs sits down in a women‘s lap. )
[ Flight Attendant: ] Sir in an empty seat.
.
[ Chris Staggs: ] FO SHO!!!
( Chris Staggs looks around. )
[ Chris Staggs: ] NO SEATS!!!
[ Flight Attendant: ] Well do you have a ticket
( Chris Staggs checks his pockets as he does the plane starts to take off)
[ Chris Staggs: ] Nope.
( Chris Staggs falls back as they lift off into the air )
MEANWHILE
( Chris Naggs sits at a bar )
[ Chris Naggs: ] Damn…where is Chris Staggs? Oh well I will look for him later. I don’t feel like wasting energy looking for his dumbass
BACK TO THE PLANE
( Chris Staggs looks around as we see all Asian people on the plane )
[ Chris Staggs: ] GO NINJA GO NINJA GO!!!
[ Camera Crew: ] Shhhhhhhhhhhh…
[ Chris Staggs: ] YOU CAN’T TALK!!!
( Chris Staggs shakes his finger at the camera crew in shame. Chris Staggs looks around and sees the door to the pilot cab open. Chris Staggs sees a red button.. )
[ Chris Staggs: ] MUST PUSH RED BUTTON!!!!
[ Camera Crew: ] Oh shit…
[ Flight Attendant: ] Sir NO! You can’t go into the pilot’s cab
[ Chris Staggs: ] SILLY BILLY THE DE PLANE!!
( Chris Staggs keeps on walking as the Flight Attendant grabs him by the arm as Chris Staggs drags the Flight Attendant into the pilot cab )
[ Chris Staggs: ] BOOYA!!!!
( The Pilots turn around )
[ Chris Staggs: ] HI I AM CHRIS STAGGS HOW ARE YOU!
[ Pilot: ] Why are you in here!!!!
[ Chris Staggs: ] RED BUTTON!!!!
( The Pilot takes another drink of his Jack Daniels )
[ Chris Staggs: ] I WANT TO PUSH THE RED BUTTON
[ Pilot: ] *Slurring his speech* Sure go ahead I am fired after dis flight anyway
[ Flight Attendant: ] Sir that cuts off both engines
[ Pilot: ] Listen bitch I am the pilot!!!
[ Flight Attendant: ] Sir that will send us free falling from the sky
[ Pilot: ] Whatever happened to Tom Petty….I’M FREE FALLINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!
[ Chris Staggs: ] This is boring…
( Chris Staggs turns around and walks back into coach as the flight attendant and pilot continue to fight. Chris Staggs stands in front of the Asian full of coach )
[ Chris Staggs: ] KUNG FU FIGHTING!!!!
( Chris Staggs strikes a Karate pose )
[ Chris Staggs: ] THEY WERE FAST AS LIGHTENING!!!!
( Chris Staggs does a quick chop )
[ Chris Staggs: ] COME ON PEOPLE!!!!
[ EVERYONE: ] THEY FAST AS LIGHTENING!!!
[ Chris Staggs: ] NO!!!!!!!! THEY WERE!!!!
[ EVERYONE: ] THEY FAST AS LIGHTENING!!!!
[ Chris Staggs: ] YOU SUCK!!!!
[ ASIAN WOMEN: ] SUCKIE SUCKIE FIVE DOLLAR
( Chris Staggs comes up with an idea )
[ Chris Staggs: ] LETS PLAY DUCK DUCK GOOSE!!!!
( Chris Staggs walks down the aisle)
[ Chris Staggs: ] DUCK!!!!
[ Chris Staggs: ] DUCK!!!
[ Chris Staggs: ] GOOSE!!!!!!!!!
( Chris Staggs runs looking back and runs as the bathroom door is open and hit’s the bathroom full speed as he out cold with the door shut and locked. )
MEANWHILE
( Chris Naggs looks at his watch. )
[ Chris Naggs: ] Where is the retard.
( Fucking Midget the guy is flying to Japan. )
[ Chris Naggs: ] WHAT!!!!!
( YEAH BITCH )
[ Chris Naggs: ] AWWW SHIT!!!
( END PROMO )
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