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Insane Quotes….
“Isn't it funny how we'll look out the window at the moon, and then we notice it's not the moon but a streetlight? Also what's funny is how we do this every night.”
Kinda like Aaron Awesome‘s thinks he is Chaos every night looking in the mirror.
First off fuck you Aaron…you think you could take me out pussy? You couldn’t take a hooker out with a hundred dollar bill. You think you are tough attacking me? Please NRG did that same stunt in the FWF. Enough about you right now let’s talk about your sugar daddy……..errr… Chris Carey, he has paid Chris Staggs to throw the world title match. Umm right…Damn Chris how fucking idiotic can you be? Do you know Chris Staggs’s attention span is about as long as Joey Johnson’s dick? Chris you have just wasted your money. Though you did cause Chris Staggs to lose the match. You must have confused him. Which lets face it, isn’t that hard. The guy is about three beers short of a six pack. Two feds short of a Joey Johnson. Hey since Chris Staggs is in a stable with a Mexican means I can’t make fun of them. So what is just like a Mexican? JOEY JOHNSON! Anyway Chris Carey and the Neutered Progression seem to have arrived like the typical corporate stable in every fed. Chris Carey you know how this angle goes…the underdog defeats the corporate champ and the stable crumbles. Yet you knew that right? Of course you did. You see sense the beating I received by Aaron “Look I am cool cause of my last name” Awesome and thugs, I have a new more vindictive approach to people. You know Aaron a new LAYOUT on things. A new LOOK with a similar IMMORTAL LEGENDARY STATUS. Huh Aaron? You feeling a little upset with that statement? Were there some key words that hinted something? You know what fuck you. Oh damn I almost forgot.. Chris Staggs did something actually SMART! He aligned himself with America’s Most Wanted. Kyle Broadway, Hen, and the crippled Skitzo are with him. The Natural Progression……wait isn’t that a hair growth product? All joking aside this will be a battle that will end with the unthinkable….Chris Staggs your SWF World Heavyweight Champion! Now lets look forward to this coming Saturday Night Adrenaline.
THREE DOORS DOWN!.
Two idiots in that ring? Isn’t there a group that prohibits that? The Families Against Retard Torture? Chris Carey you want to see this match? You think it will bring in ratings? You are probably right. Anyway Kryptonite you might actually be an opponent that Chris Staggs can meet intelligence with. The other opponents have been smarter than Chris Staggs. I am not afraid to say it. Kryptonite, Rothy’s Number One Fan, you will face a man that your hero beat every time he faced him. Can you do it? I don’t think so. Anyway I know you will probably come out making fun of Chris Staggs for losing to a girl. Well he was paid to throw the match or that is how he understood it. YES I said understood it. So he lost to a girl. That means nothing. Look in the fucking mirror. You are worse than Kenzia Rain. Yeah you throw like a girl……EWWWWWW….Fuck the sandlot shit. Kryptonite we both will go into the ring this Saturday night. One man will walk out the winner. That man will be the dumbest mother fucker in the SWF. Yep….Chris Staggs….the SWF isn’t big enough for two idiots. So this match…….winner gains title of the most idiotic wrestler in the SWF. Deal? Anyway I have grown tired talking about you…lets talk about some others around the SWF.
The Originator Aaron Awesome
Aaron Awesome you actually think you are a ratings God? You think you offer something that no one else does eh? What is that? A Dark serious gimmick that has been done more than a Rocky sequel. Really Aaron you are not a ratings grabber hell you are nothing more than the flavor of the month. The bad thing is that you know this yet you carry yourself as you are legend. Now Aaron you said that Chris Staggs wasn’t anything in the FWF. Well he wasn’t ,but hell he was there for about a month in a half. You know the time span for Joey Johnson to join four feds. Aaron Awesome, you are nothing. You will be shown as nothing at Saints & Sinners. The TRUTH be known if it wasn’t for Chris Staggs asking Namen Hammer to let you into Nemesis then you wouldn’t have been the world champion. You would haven’t been anything if it wasn’t for Chris Staggs. Just remember that. The TRUTH hurts doesn’t it. The TRUTH is a hard pill to swallow, but then again Chris Carey can botch that you find nothing hard to swallow. Fuck it….TRUTH is that you are a dick sucking whore with no ounce of wrestling talent.
The Neutered Progression.
What a warm hearting story last week was. I mean three idiots coming together to produce a great hair growth product wait that is the name of their new stable. You have Aaron Awesome, the original dark serious gimmick, Jeff Harris, the man with a 101 looks and gimmicks, Scott Konrad, the man with a identity crisis…right Jimmy Luciano? Damn you look just like em‘. These three idiots think they can take down America’s Most Wanted, they are hanging on more than a slimmer of hope than Joey Johnson being rehired in the SWF. It is quite sad. These three jack offs though do have the higher ups backing them. Though what will Chris Carey or JEW do? Nothing. They have no power. They can’t do shit. Chris Carey is nothing more than an overweight bald headed Italian that thinks he is part of the family. The only family he can be apart of is the Partridge Family. Then you have JEW well he is a wack job anyway. The guy doesn’t deserve a job. He has no experience. He is a former wrestler for crying out loud. Though Chris Carey will take another page of out the “How to run a boring predictable fed” written by Justin Goldman. The book came out after the FWF closed. Chris Carey bought the book.
Summing It Up
Two idiots meet in the ring. Five idiots in the back. Yet one idiot will remain supreme. Chris Staggs will walk out of Adrenaline with the winning edge. That is a greater chance of happening than Joey Johnson ever staying in a fed longer than two weeks. W3 this week……….EWWA….E-Whore Wrestling Alliance NEXT WEEK!!
( Chris Staggs and Chris Naggs are seen walking in the park as Chris Staggs and Chris Naggs walk a bit as Chris Staggs and points forward. )
[ Chris Staggs ] AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH CLOWN!!!!!
[ Chris Naggs ] No, that is a MIME!
[ Chris Staggs ] FO SHO’
[ Chris Naggs ] Yes
[ Chris Staggs ] What a mime?
[ Chris Naggs ] A mute clown
[ Chris Staggs ] AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
[ Chris Naggs ] I mean a mute painted up man.
[ Chris Staggs ] OH!
[ Chris Naggs ] Yeah…
[ Chris Staggs ] Let’s go talk to him.
[ Chris Naggs ] Huh!?
[ Chris Staggs ] LET’S GO TALK TO HIM!
[ Chris Naggs ] If you want too.
[ Chris Staggs ] I DO I DO!!!
[ Chris Naggs ] Well lets go
[ Chris Staggs ] FO SHO!
( Chris Staggs and Chris Naggs walks over to the mime who waves at them. Chris Naggs speaks under his breath )
[ Chris Naggs ] Good God this promo has to be the worst ever.
[ Chris Staggs ] HI! MIME!!
[ Chris Naggs ] He is a mute mime
[ Chris Staggs ] OH! HOW……………..ARE……………YOU!
[ Chris Naggs ] I said he was mute not deaf.
[ Chris Staggs ] OH!!!
( The mime now begins to climb up the rope. Chris Staggs looks on confusingly. )
[ Chris Staggs ] Where are you going!?
[ Mime: ] …………………..
[ Chris Staggs ] HEY! You are not going anywhere!
[ Mime ] ………………….
[ Chris Staggs ] USE YOUR LEGS!!!
[ Chris Naggs ] GOOD GOD!
[ Chris Staggs ] I don’t think praying will help, here let me help you.
( Chris Staggs walks over as the Mime quit climbing the imaginary ropes. And begins to eat an imaginary ice cream cone. )
[ Chris Staggs ] HEY! Where did that come from.
[ Chris Naggs ] What?!.
[ Chris Staggs ] HE GOT AN ICE CREAM!!! I WANT ICE CREAM!!!
[ Chris Naggs ] Ummm
[ Chris Staggs ] GIMME THE ICE CREAM CONE!!!
[ Chris Naggs ] There isn’t an ice cream cone
[ Chris Staggs ] YES THERE IS LOOK AT HIM!
[ Chris Naggs ] He has nothing.
[ Chris Staggs ] Yes he does….its invisible!
[ Chris Naggs ] Right..
[ Chris Staggs ] Fo Sho.
[ Chris Naggs ] What do you want me to do?.
[ Chris Staggs ] Go get it from him!
[ Chris Naggs ] Why don’t you?
[ Chris Staggs ] Cause you are closer to him!
[ Chris Naggs ] WHAT?!.
[ Chris Staggs ] FO SHO’
( Chris Naggs shakes his head in disgust as he walks toward the Mime but the mime begins the box routine. )
[ Chris Staggs ] STOP!
[ Chris Naggs ] HUH!? WHY?
[ Chris Staggs ] He is in some type of force field
( The mime begins to act like he is trapped. )
[ Chris Naggs ] God…how corny.
[ Chris Staggs ] HOW DO WE GET HIM OUT!?
[ Chris Naggs ] What?!
[ Chris Staggs ] HE IS GOING THE DIE!
[ Chris Naggs ] How?.
[ Chris Staggs ] Duh no air….
( Chris Naggs looks at the mime who shrugs his shoulders )
[ Chris Naggs ] You need to do something then
[ Chris Staggs ] Hmmmmmm………..
[ Chris Naggs ] *under his breath* This should be fun.
[ Chris Staggs ] FO SHO’ I GOT IT!
[ Chris Naggs ] Good what?
[ Chris Staggs ] Watch..
( Chris Staggs backs up and gets down in a three point stance. He sprints toward the mime and tackles him. Chris Staggs jumps up!. )
[ Chris Staggs ] FO SHO
[ Mime] YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!
[ Chris Staggs ] Wait I thought you were deaf.
[ Mime] I AM MUTE YOU IDIOT! THAT MEANS NO TALKING!
[ Chris Staggs ] Wait… you are talking
( The Mime walks off pissed off. Chris Staggs walks back over to Chris Naggs. )
[ Chris Staggs ] Lets wheel…
[ Chris Naggs ] Ok.
[ Chris Staggs ] FO SHO!
( They begin to walks as a women walks by Chris Naggs checks her out. )
[ Chris Naggs ] I would like to swing on those a while
[ Chris Staggs ] ME TOO!!
[ Chris Naggs ] You would?
[ Chris Staggs ] SWINGS!!!!!!
( Chris Staggs was looking at the swing set all along. Chris Staggs runs over and pushes a little fat kid out of the swing.. )
[ Chris Staggs ] MY TURN!!
( The little fat boy gets up and runs crying to his mommy ah la Joey Johnson after a lose in a fed. Anyway Chris Staggs )
[ Chris Naggs ] Come on…lets go.
[ Chris Staggs ] NO!!!! PUSH ME!!
[ Chris Naggs ] How?
[ Chris Staggs ] With your hand DUH!!!
[ Chris Naggs ] You are twice my size.
[ Chris Staggs ] PUSH ME!!!
[ Chris Naggs ] NO!
[ Chris Staggs ] PUSH ME!!!
[ Chris Naggs ] NO!
TWENTY MINUTES LATER…
[ Chris Staggs ] PUSH ME!!!
[ Chris Naggs ] FINE!!!!
[ Chris Staggs ] YAY!!!
[ Chris Naggs ] Damn it.
( Chris Naggs pushes him. )
[ Chris Staggs ] WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HIGHER HIGHER!!!
[ Chris Naggs ] I can‘t .
( Chris Staggs tries to get higher. Chris Staggs jumps off.. )
[ Chris Staggs ] SEESAW!!!
( Oh would that be fun…guess what NO SOUP FOR YOU!!! )
[ Chris Staggs ] GOD?!
( No I am the narrator )
[ Chris Staggs ] SANARRATOR!!!
( NO! I AM YOUR NARRATOR )
[ Chris Staggs ] Of what?
( YOUR PROMO!! )
[ Chris Staggs ] Cool when is it?
( Fade black )
[ Chris Staggs ] HEY WHO TURNED OUT THE LIGHTS!!!
( END PROMO )
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