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Insane Quotes….
“I bet one legend that keeps recurring throughout history, in every culture, is the story of Popeye.”
I yam what I yam and that is all I yam.
So Chris Staggs lost not once but twice. So fucking what right? I guess it was important cause Chris Staggs has went from the penthouse to the outhouse. He is now made to face the Women’s Champion Keniza Rain. Duh Fock? What’s next Carey? Chris Staggs wrestling a celebrity maybe Chris Staggs vs. The Yellow Teletubby in an arm wrestling match. Jesus Mary and the Holy Saint what has gotten into the SWF? I mean people running out of the SWF like someone yelling “Green Card” in a room full of Mexicans, God another Mexican joke… I kill myself. Rothy, Steele, Kalis, and Tiger are gone. Now in come the blithering idiots known as rookies who are higher on the card then Chris Staggs arrive with dreams of gold and glory. Yet we know maybe one or two will actually have a chance at achieving the goal. You know Carey I think I found the problem. You can’t handle your talent right. Chris Staggs vs. The Women’s Champion in the first hour? Great move! Maybe the World Champion can do a dark match. Oh well I guess you live and learn right? WRONG. You keep doing this and the SWF will go out of business quicker than a dot com company. Chris Staggs is a main eventer, I know it, YOU know it, and the world knows it. BUT since he is a loyal employee, he will wrestle the match also cause that is the only job you can get with the IQ of a rock. Anyway Chris Carey after Chris Staggs dismantles of the Women’s Champion who will you have Chris Staggs take on next? Oh I got it maybe a cardboard cut out of Justin Sane. He will just as easily get by it as he will her. Last us backtrack a bit now to Kramerica. That is the place where you saw the end of Malicious Intent. It didn’t go out with a bang. More a whimper. I am not afraid to admit it. Though a question does a arise. What does this mean for Chris Staggs? I mean will he go solo or will he become a part of a stable. I guess that is what the shows are for eh? Eh!? The fuck I am not Canadian……. Or am I? Does it matter? Anyway let us rape……..errrrrrr assault…errrrrrrrr……….talk about Keniza Rain
Women‘s Equality Act Sucks Ass
So now Chris will take on a valet……errr wait a “Women’s Champion”. Please we all know that you can’t wrestle. The reason you are the champion is because you threw other valets…..errr women wrestlers over the top rope. Please bitch an eighty year old crippled women could do that. Now you want to step up into the ring with the boys. You think you got the balls to do that? I mean really do you think you got balls? You haven’t the physical capability to defeat Chris Staggs. You haven’t got the speed. So as I see it the only thing you got going for you is the intelligence factor and that skill takes you a limited distance. Keniza Rain, you have no business…wait scratch that you have no right to be in the same ring as Chris Staggs. You have no right wasting my breath on you. I mean this is a complete joke of the sport. Yes even more of a joke than Tiger verbal thrashings on the mic. Why is this match happening? Fuck it. Keniza Rain come this up coming Adrenaline, you step into the ring with a man. A man that has did more for the SWF more than your phat ass will ever be able to do. You are the Women’s champion…meaning that you are the toughest valet in the SWF. Which also means you have no chance against Chris Staggs. Fuck I don’t care talking about her anymore. I am not even going to use Tiger trash talking on her. She is a waste of my time and a waste of Chris Staggs’s time. This match was over when it was booked.
Aaron RAD! COOL! NEATO!
The bitch did it. He actually won the World Title with Chaos’s gimmick. Duh Fock…That is fucking unbelievable.. I mean Chaos could barely win a World Title with his own gimmick. Aaron Awesome say he totally controlled Chris Staggs….and you did for good reason. Chris Staggs has wrestled two other opponents and you took advantage. Though Aaron, don’t think you are not going to see Chris Staggs. Well of course Chris Staggs will not be the one thinking about it. I am sure that Chris Naggs will direct him toward it. He is the manager he is getting 80% of the profits………WAIT 80% THE FUCK!!! Chris Naggs is ripping Chris Staggs off………Fuck it I am making 5000 dollars per promo. Anyway Aaron Awesome…the next time you face Chris Staggs there will not be eight other men in the match.
Kramerica Leftovers
The night Malicious Intent died…it seems another stable took over just like a typical wrestling promotion. One stable goes out another comes in. The stable is America’s Most Wanted. How the fuck did these two idiots gain every title except the World. Has the SWF talent dropped off so much that we have a Mexican and a hack controlling more gold than Fort Knox.
Summing It Up
Keniza Rain, you don’t know how dangerous Chris Staggs is….He is like a like slippery soap bar in prison….one way another you are going to get fucked up. As for Aaron Awesome, I guess you do swallow…I mean you do have the title don’t you? Peace out bitches.
( Chris Staggs and Chris Naggs are seen in the hotel room as Chris Staggs walks out of the bedroom while Chris Naggs is watching television. Chris Staggs is decked out in Scooby Doo Pajamas. Chris Staggs looks up and sees the time. Chris Staggs sprints over and jumps on the couch and grabs the remote out of Chris Naggs hand. Chris Staggs flips the channel and stops. )
[ Chris Staggs ] SCOOBY DOO!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
[ Chris Naggs ] Uh…they make Adult sized Scooby Doo pajamas?
[ Chris Staggs ] FO SHO’
[ Chris Naggs ] This is truly sad
[ Chris Staggs ] SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
30 Minutes Later….
( Chris Staggs looks dumbfounded….the show ends. Chris Staggs gives a goofy grin.. )
[ Chris Naggs ] What are you smiling about?
[ Chris Staggs ] Those guys are SMART!!
[ Chris Naggs ] You know those guys are cartoons right?
[ Chris Staggs ] Ummmmmm SO?!
[ Chris Naggs ] Agh Nevermind….
[ Chris Staggs ] HIM AGAIN!!!
[ Chris Naggs ] Forget it
[ Chris Staggs ] Done..
[ Chris Naggs ] Good…
[ Chris Staggs ] *SIGH*
[ Chris Naggs ] What now?
[ Chris Staggs ] I’m bored
[ Chris Naggs ] What do you want me to do?
[ Chris Staggs ] Come up with something to do.
[ Chris Naggs ] Hmmmmmmmmmm I GOT IT PRANK CALLS!!!
[ Chris Staggs ] YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What’s a prank call..
[ Chris Naggs ] You call people up and ask them if so and so is there expect the name is funny..
[ Chris Staggs ] COOL ME FIRST!!!
( Chris Staggs picks up the phone and begins to dial. )
[ Chris Staggs ] Hello….is Yogi The Bear there?
[ Phone Call One: ] Sir what is the emergency.
[ Chris Staggs ] Hold on……..Chris, what is the emergency
[ Chris Naggs ] HUH!? What phone number did you call.
[ Chris Staggs: ] 911
[ Chris Naggs ] HANG UP!!!
[ Chris Staggs: ] Okay……………Buh Bye
( Chris Staggs hangs up the phone )
[ Chris Staggs: ] That wasn’t fun.
[ Chris Naggs ] Cause you did it wrong.
[ Chris Staggs: ] FO SHO?!
[ Chris Naggs ] Yes
[ Chris Staggs: ] HOW!?
[ Chris Naggs ] Okay call a number in the phone book…how about 584-2502.
[ Chris Staggs: ] Who is that?
[ Chris Naggs ] No idea
[ Chris Staggs: ] Why call them if they don’t know us.
[ Chris Naggs ] Just do it.
[ Chris Staggs: ] Fo Sho.
[ Chris Naggs ] Now ask for Amanda Huggenkiss.
[ Chris Staggs: ] EWWWWWWWWWWWWW
[ Chris Naggs ] Ask for her.
[ Chris Staggs: ] You know her?
[ Chris Naggs ] NO! Just call.
[ Chris Staggs: ] FO SHO’
( Chris Staggs picks up the phone and begins to dial. )
[ Phone Call Two ] Hello
[ Chris Staggs: ] HI!! I’m Chris Staggs I need to talk to Amanda Huggenkiss.
[ Phone Call Two ] You need Amanda Huggenkiss.
[ Chris Staggs: ] NO! THAT IS A LIE!!!!
( Chris Staggs hangs up the phone. )
[ Chris Naggs ] God…you can’t be that stupid.
[ Chris Staggs: ] That is what people keep asking me.
[ Chris Naggs ] Okay lets try this again.
[ Chris Staggs: ] Fo Sho’
[ Chris Naggs ] Okay first, do not tell them your name.
[ Chris Staggs: ] But they won’t know who is calling.
[ Chris Naggs ] Just don’t,………then call 584-5821..then ask for Jack Meoff
[ Chris Staggs: ] Isn’t that who you asked that women on the corner for?
[ Chris Naggs ] Uh just call.
[ Chris Staggs: ] FO SHO’
[ Chris Naggs ] Good
( Chris Staggs picks up the phone and begins to dial once again. )
[ Chris Staggs: ] Hello
[ Phone Call Three] Hello.
[ Chris Staggs: ] Is Jack Meoff there..
[ Phone Call Three] Jack Meoff?
[ Chris Staggs: ] NO I WILL NOT!!! SICKY!!!
( Chris Staggs hangs up the phone. )
[ Chris Staggs: ] That guy wanted me to jack him off…That guy is icky.
[ Chris Naggs ] You are missing the whole point.
[ Chris Staggs: ] FO SHO!
[ Chris Naggs ] We will try this one last time. This time ask for I.P. Freely
[ Chris Staggs: ] You TOO!
[ Chris Naggs ] No ask for him
[ Chris Staggs: ] CAN I DIAL A NUMBER!!
[ Chris Naggs ] I guess
[ Chris Staggs: ] FO SHO!!!
( Chris Staggs hit’s a bunch of buttons as the phone begins to ring. )
[ Phone Call Four] Ciao?
[ Chris Staggs: ] È l'IO P. Liberamente lí?
[ Phone Call Four] L'io p. Liberamente?
[ Chris Staggs: ] Lei troppo?
[ Phone Call Four] Lei sono un perdente di fucking dal trucco che chiamando me
[ Chris Staggs: ] SI! FUCK LEI TROPPO!
( Chris Staggs hangs up as Chris Naggs looks dumbfounded. )
[ Chris Staggs: ] Yeah?
[ Chris Naggs ] How did you know how to speak Italian.
[ Chris Staggs: ] I don’t.
[ Chris Naggs ] I just don’t understand you.
( Chris Naggs leaves the room. Chris Staggs turns on the Powder Puff Girls. )
( Geez, How did this idiot ever win a match )
[ Chris Staggs: ] THE VOICE IS BACK!!!
( Chris Staggs looks around with a scared look on his face clutching a pillow closely )
[ Chris Staggs: ] AND YOU ARE DESCRIBING ME AGAIN!!!
( Chris Staggs gets up and runs out the room )
( I guess you just lost a tenth of your IQ on this promo.. )
( END PROMO )
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