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Insane Quotes….
"Instead of burning a guy at the stake, what about burning him at the STILTS? It probably lasts longer, plus it moves around. . “
Move around cause you are fixing to be burned
Well guess what? This will be the last promo till the pay per view. So let us look back over the week and see what we have learned. We have learned that Aaron Awesome has a camera crew living with him. We have learned that Mexican jokes are really funny. We have learned that Hen and Erik are really close buddies. We have also learned that Pete is more giddy than a school girl when he gets to talk about Chris Staggs. Oh and Pete you never jobbed , you just lost. Also we have learned that Simon Kalis is as how he wrestles……..shit. We also know that Tiger is bent over right now accepting his new relationship. Fuck all this stuff we found out. All this stuff we don’t care about. Now you have Hen and Erik who have no shot in hell of making it past the first round. These two jackasses get there first loss in wrestling. Like I told you before Hen. You are no nine year old girl. Thus you can’t sleep your way to the title. Then we have Cheech and Chong errrrr Skitzo and Kyle Broadway who will make it past their first round cause the other guys quit. Kyle Broadway and Skitzo you two aren’t the type of championship tag team that people know. Thus you will not be champs. Now the gauntlet. Scarecrow you haven’t said a word thus you have no chance. Pete Ebdon you are the greatest wrestler, no one is better. You will win cause you are the greatest. No one will beat you. You are the greatest. Well there you go Pete your whole promo summed up. The bad thing is these things a way off. Tiger well we all know about Tiger. Bet you wished you had some KY Jelly eh Tiger? Then we have the Urban Legend. The legend of all the number one contender shots and still no title. Sucks to be you. Chris Carrington you have not shot. Simon Kalis please this bitch is about as much of a threat as Richard Simmons with a knife. You may annoy us but you won’t kill us. Then we have Malicious Intent, we are you guys? I mean I thought we had some trashin’ to do. Yet I look around and I am the only one talking. Jason Rothchild just retired from the SWF as the pay per view will be his last match. Then Chris Staggs’s tag team partner has put out one fucking promo. Don’t let me do all the talking. This isn’t the Kings Of Dullness. Then Strick…where oh where have you gone? I mean fuck you joined us then you haven’t even landed in Holland have you? If you have give me a call. Fuck Malicious Intent STEP IT UP!!!! Then last we have the dark, scary, creepy, and Chaos dick sucking, Aaron Awesome. Does this guy have a life. He has put out two promos in a matter of hours. Kind of like what I am doing this last promo. You know what Aaron Awesome is the favorite cause he has kissed Carey ass that he can’t help but win. He has brown nosed him so much that if Carey stops Aaron Awesome’s head would be stuck up Carey’s ass. Now let us close this with some parting shots to the opponents.
Tag Team Touney: Tag Team Gold
Hen and Erik: The Kings of One Hit Wonders
What else do I have to say except you two guys fucking suck a dick. You two haven’t done anything except rip off MTV Cribs, MTV Diary, and MTV Becoming. You two have no shot of winning and that you can take and write your little diary.
Skitzo & Kyle Broadway: America‘s Next Cheech & Chong
Toke Toke Toke it all the way. Up in smoke is where your careers will be after I am through you two losers. The tag team gold doesn’t belong in Mexico or Boston. No the titles belong with Malicious Intent and you two jokes know that.
Ten Man Gauntlet Match: World Title Gold
Scarecrow
Fuck off you silent ass bitch
Pete Ebdon
Pete Pete Pete zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Oh shit I just saw your promo. Sorry about. Now listen up bitch, quit acting like a obsessed teen age girl with a crush and start acting like a man. I know that your manhood is coming up short. I heard they have plastic surgery that can help you with that problem.
Tiger
SCREAM BITCH SCREAM!!! Bubba is waxing dat ass for you isn’t he Tiger? I knew you were a little bitch before you even opened your mouth. You are no thug. You are a prison bitch. Now I know why you walk bow-legged.
Chris Carrington
Chris Carrington come on you have no shot. You have dropped the ball more than a Bengals receiver this year. You fumble like Cory Dillon and you still think they will handoff to you some more. Guess what Chris, the second stringer is being put in. You are going to ride the pine the rest of your career. You have no shot at the pay per view.
Simon Kalis
What else do I need to say about this bitch except that he isn’t deserving of a title shot like many others in this gauntlet. The bad thing is that you could actually last more then one opponent. *Sniff* *Sniff* you smell that? Oh wait that is your wrestling career…never mind.
Jason Rothchild, Mike Steele, Strick Carrington
WAKE THE FUCK UP AND CUT A DAMN PROMO!!!! Oh and Jason Rothchild good luck with the World Wide Wrestling Federation.
Aaron Awesome
Finally the last but probably the most vocal opponent in the gauntlet match. What Aaron? You thought you were going to be the only one to cut five promos? Dream on bitch. I mean all you are doing is recycling some old ass cheap gimmick hoping that it will give you enough of a push that you can win the World Title. Aaron Awesome you need to wake up and Chris Staggs will be that pitcher of ice cold water to do the trick. Aaron Awesome….Chaos called he wants his gimmick back.
Summing It Up
Bitches get off my dick. You ain’t doing nothing for me except scrapping. KB, Skitzo, Hen, and Erik the tag team gold will be nothing more than a dream that will be squashed like Anna Nicole Smith sitting on an egg. The nine guys in the gauntlet your dreams are nothing but that and you need to wake up cause you are stuck to the sheet.
( Chris Staggs and Chris Naggs sit on the couch in their hotel as Chris Staggs just up with the towel tied around used as a cape )
[ Chris Staggs ] I GOT THE ULITIMATE PACKAGE!!!
[ Chris Naggs ] Uh
[ Chris Staggs ] HUH?
[ Chris Naggs ] You have nothing
[ Chris Staggs ] I have Hen's ghetto rep, Pete Ebdon's sense of humor, Tiger's mic skills, and Kyle Broadway's proper English
[ Chris Naggs ] Have you seen Hen hand out with his crew?
[ Chris Staggs ] No.
[ Chris Naggs ] Have you seen Pete Ebdon make a joke
LiL Vest 08 lol
[ Chris Staggs ] Ummmmmm No?
[ Chris Naggs ] Have you heard Tiger's mic skills?
[ Chris Staggs ] Yes
[ Chris Naggs ] You really want that?
[ Chris Staggs ] No?
[ Chris Naggs ] Finally you have Kyle Broadway's proper
English....have you ever heard Kyle speak proper English
[ Chris Staggs ] Yes....but who is Holmes?
[ Chris Naggs ] So what do you have?
[ Chris Staggs ] Ummmm nothing
[ Chris Naggs ] Right
[ Chris Staggs ] Why could I fly?
[ Chris Naggs ] You never flew
[ Chris Staggs ] I was so fast you couldn't see it
[ Chris Naggs ] Right
[ Chris Staggs ] You don’t believe me?
[ Chris Naggs ] Nope
[ Chris Staggs ] Just did it
[ Chris Naggs ] No you didn’t
[ Chris Staggs: ] I am faster than the eyes
[ Chris Naggs ] Okay
[ Chris Staggs: ] Wait I got nothing…..I am going to lose
[ Chris Naggs ] No you are going to win
[ Chris Staggs: ] I WIN!!!!
[ Chris Naggs ] Yes
[ Chris Staggs: ] They know I am going to win right?
[ Chris Naggs ] Uh yeah do
[ Chris Staggs: ] What about Cluck Cluck and Moo Moo
[ Chris Naggs ] Erik and Hen?
[ Chris Staggs: ] Yeah
[ Chris Naggs ] Yeah they know
[ Chris Staggs: ] What about My idol and the Gardener
[ Chris Naggs ] They do too.
[ Chris Staggs: ] I AM GOING TO BE THE POGO CHAMPION OF THE WORLD
[ Chris Naggs ] That’s wrestling
[ Chris Staggs: ] Who’s wrestling?
[ Chris Naggs ] YOU
[ Chris Staggs: ] Against who?
[ Chris Naggs ] Nevermind.
[ Chris Staggs: ] So is Nevermind any good?
[ Chris Naggs ] UGH
[ Chris Staggs: ] That bad huh?
[ Chris Naggs ] You have a world title shot.
[ Chris Staggs: ] Why would I want be called World?
[ Chris Naggs ] WHAT?
[ Chris Staggs: ] You said I have a world title chance
[ Chris Naggs ] NO it’s a belt
[ Chris Staggs: ] I need a belt. My pants are too big
[ Chris Naggs ] No it’s a gold belt
[ Chris Staggs: ] COOL I HAVE NEVER SEEN ONE OF THOSE
[ Chris Naggs ] You have a chance to win it
[ Chris Staggs: ] HOW?
[ Chris Naggs ] Wrestling
[ Chris Staggs: ] Who am I facing
[ Chris Naggs ] Nevermind
[ Chris Staggs: ] HIM AGAIN!
( Chris Naggs gets up and leaves as Chris Staggs looks at the camera )
[ Chris Staggs: ] NEVERMIND I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!!! YOU HAVE THE SHINY GOLD BELT THAT I WANT!!! NEVERMIND I WILL BEAT YOU INTO THE GROUND!!!
( Geez, what an idiot )
[ Chris Staggs: ] WHO SAID THAT!?
( Chris Staggs looks around with a scared look on his face )
[ Chris Staggs: ] WHY ARE YOU DESCRIBING WHAT I DO AGHHHHHHHHHHHHH
( Chris Staggs gets up and runs out the room )
( That was uh interesting. )
( END PROMO )
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