[ Father O'Keith:] What is with the toga?

[ Chris Staggs:] Dude it is Jesus clothing. 

[ Father O'Keith:] So you are trying to be like Jesus?

[ Chris Staggs:] Dude how can I be Jesus? He is my best friend. 

[ Father O'Keith:] Okay? Why are we here?

[ Chris Staggs:] I don't know. 

[ Father O'Keith:] Okay?

[ Chris Staggs:] Now let's start.

[ Father O'Keith:] Start what?

[ Chris Staggs:] The meeting.

[ Father O'Keith:] What meeting?

[ Chris Staggs:] This meeting DUH!

[ Father O'Keith:] Meeting about what?

[ Chris Staggs:] Shhhhhh.

[ Father O'Keith:] Don't shhh me.

[ Chris Staggs:] The meeting is starting.

( Chris Staggs walks in front of the children and Father O'Keith )

[ Chris Staggs:] Please be seated.

( The kids take a seat Indian style. )

[ Chris Staggs:] Father.

[ Father O'Keith:] Yeah?

[ Chris Staggs:] Be seated.

[ Father O'Keith:] Fine.

( Father O'Keith takes a seat )

[ Chris Staggs:] Thank you. Now we can start the meeting, Father can you repeat the minutes of the last meeting?

[ Father O'Keith:] This is the first meeting.

[ Chris Staggs:] OH FO SHO! Anyway now let's talk about Memphis Gray.

[ "Jesus' Kids":] BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

[ Chris Staggs:] Yes BOOO indeed.  He still doesn't want to change his ways. He continues to try push Ranma on us.

["Jesus' Kids":] LWA SUCKS LWA SUCKS LWA SUCKS!!! 

[ Chris Staggs:] Harmon where? 

["Jesus' Kids":] RANMA WAS PART OF LWA!

[ Chris Staggs:] Oh FO SHO! Wait no no no!!! Gray is getting to all of you!!

["Jesus' Kids":] *GASP*

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO! You are now rambling about federations that are closed.

["Jesus' Kids":] WE NEED JESUS!!!

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO! Jesus you need to help them.

( Chris Staggs looks to the right )

...........................

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO! They are plugging dead federations.

...........................

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO! Tell them that dead federations don't ever come back.

...........................

[ Chris Staggs:] True dat, good ones don't ever make more than two comebacks.

..........................

[ Chris Staggs:] No that isn't a shot a DRWF. I promise.

..........................

[ Chris Staggs:] I am not acting like Gray.

..........................

[ Chris Staggs:] No I am in just one federation.

...........................

[ Chris Staggs:] Let's get back to the meeting.

..........................

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO! This my friends is the enemy.

[ Chris Staggs:] AGH!!! HE HAS A GUN!!! DUCK!!

[ Father O'Keith:] Chris...

[ Chris Staggs:] GET DOWN FATHER!!!

[ Father O'Keith:] That is a cardboard cut out.

[ Chris Staggs:] Oh FO SHO!

["Jesus' Kids":] BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

[ Chris Staggs:] Yes boo him cause he is promoting violence now. He is a terrible champion. He is a person that shouldn't be looked up at.

......................

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO! He is one bad mother...

......................

[ Chris Staggs:] What? I was just talking about Gray.

......................

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO! That was corny. Anyway kids we must come up ways to stop Gray.

( A kid raises his hand.)

[ Chris Staggs:] Yeah?

[ Kid #1:] Take away his FWF collection of tapes.

[ Chris Staggs:] We can't get to his house.

[ Kid #2:] What about kill Ranma.

[ Chris Staggs:] Killing is WRONG! Plus Ranma can't die. He already came back from the dead once.

[ Kid #3:] Tell his mom.

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO! Wait I don't know where she is.

[ Kid #3:] So?

[ Chris Staggs:] We only have a few days before the match.

[ Kid #4:] Let's ground him.

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!

[ Kid #5:] Wash his mouth out with soap.

[ Chris Staggs:] I don't think there is enough soap for his bad words.

[ Father O'Keith:] Chris. take a break.

[ Chris Staggs:] Huh?

[ Father O'Keith:] You need to talk about your match.

[ Chris Staggs:] Isn't that what we are doing.

[ Father O'Keith:] No you have to do trash talking.

[ Chris Staggs:] Why can't we hire a narrator to do it.

[ Father O'Keith:] You ran off to many narrators. Narrator R Us have banned you.

[ Chris Staggs:] Okay well can't we just steal some other guys formula to do the promo.

[ Father O'Keith:] Huh?

[ Chris Staggs:] Well maybe not steal but I heard Mercury is letting people use his formula.

[ Father O'Keith:] Has Mercury ever won a world title?

[ Chris Staggs:] I don't know. 

[ Father O'Keith:] Just talk about the match.

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO! Memphis Gray, you continue to be a bad role model for the kids. You haven't cleaned up your act. You continue to use dirty language in your promos and in ring interviews. You didn't even seemed phased after the care bear treatment. You shrugged off the care bears. YOU SHRUGGED THEM OFF! Now you want to believe that I am your B-word. Well your narrator aka movie phone guy believes that . Which I don't believe that to be the case. You want to continue to act hard to impress your friends or your friend Ranma. You want to continue to bring up my losses in world title matches. So, the past doesn't mean anything does it? I mean I don't think I faced you for the world title did I? Unless you are alien that can morph into different people, then I might have faced you. Yet you like to say that I haven't earned the title shot. Well I believe I won the number one contender for the World Title match. Well Jesus and I won the match. Which brings me up to another point. You are outnumbered in the match. Sure you have your Ranma worship ,but Ranma is not Jesus. I have Jesus in my corner. He doesn't want you to be champion anymore. You are ruining kids lives. It is just a miracle that I have saved these thirty kids from your bad language and constant praising of Ranma. Jesus is tired of you and quite frankly I am getting tired of seeing you with the world title. Then again I am sure that I am not the only one tired of your act. I mean heck you are in so many federations. I just don't see how you do it. I don't see how you are able to make it to every show. I mean that is quite a statement to the airports in letting you get to each show on time. I am also tired of seeing the former FWF wrestler shout-outs you are doing by putting in some of there formulas. How would you like it if I came out and start just replaying Scooby Doo episodes in parts of my promos. Heck I am surprised that people haven't sued you for biting there style. Then again it will change next week. Who is next week? Gravestone? Big Red Scare? I hope so cause at least these kids aren't old enough to remember them. You know you remind me of my grandfather Gray. You keep on reliving the past. You keep telling us these stories that aren't interesting to anyone ,but yourself and put them in the middle of a conversation. Heck those stories make me want to watch PBS when Sesame Street isn't on. I mean you make me want to watch the painting guy with the afro. Yet that is the only thing you have kept through out your changes in your promo. Then again I guess you have to change your style to keep up with each federation you are in. You have to be the soap opera type Gray in NEW, you have to be the hard thug in the DRWF, and you have to the cocky champion in the IW. You are going to have a nervous breakdown soon. That won't be good. Well maybe it will. The people in the mental ward will listen to all your hundreds of stories. Anyway why should you care what I am telling you. You think that I am not going to be a threat. You think I am going to just be another title defense for you. Well I am going to be your road runner. You are going to try and take me out but I just won't go down. I am going to be like the Energizer Bunny. I will just keep going and going. Yet you want to believe that you are going to win cause I haven't won a world title in two years. Though if I remember correctly all my loses came when Chris Carey had control of IW and SWF. He isn't here anymore is he? Andrew Davis and Nathaniel Renzo Glore are in control of IW. Maybe they want the 5 to 9 year old demographic. Maybe they want a good role model. Maybe Davis wants to be on Jesus' good side. Although the main reason this title shot is different than all other title shots is that I know Jesus is on my side. He has been by my side all the way to the match. You see Memphis you say that my faith and friendship with Jesus will not change you or me? You are wrong. My faith and friendship will change the title from you to me. FO SHO! So Gray now you know and knowing is half the battle..... YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO JOE!!!!!!!!

( Chris Staggs now turns back his attention to his followers. He waits there quietly )

[ Father O'Keith:] What are you doing?

[ Chris Staggs:] Waiting on Jesus to finish up.

( The kids looks at each other with confused looks on their faces. )

[ Chris Staggs:] He sounds like he is finishing up.

[ Father O'Keith:] Right.

( Chris Staggs now walks back over in front of the children. )

[ Chris Staggs:] Thank you Jesus.

......................

[ Chris Staggs:] True dat, Memphis needs to be stopped.

[ Kid #1:] TIMEOUT IN THE CORNER!

[ Chris Staggs:] EWWWWW GOOD ONE!!!

[ Kid #8:] I say we attack him again.

[ Chris Staggs:] I don't know. We have to think of how we are going to attack him.

[ Kid #9:] I know.

BEEP BEEP

[ Father O'Keith:] What is that?

( Chris Staggs checks his Scooby Doo watch )

[ Chris Staggs:] It's SCOOBY DOO TIME!!!

[ Father O'Keith:] Okay?

[ Chris Staggs:] Kids, we meet here again tomorrow. Right now.... SCOOBY DOO!!!!

[ "Jesus' Kids":] YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

( They all stand up as Chris Staggs leads them out toward the mini van for viewing of Scooby Doo.)

(END PROMO )