( Camera fades in as a mini van yes, a mini van is seen pulling into a parking lot as the camera shot pans back as we see the destination of the mini van..... DA DA!!! CHUCK E. CHEESE!! The home of greasy pizza and loud kids. In other words a home away from home for Chris Staggs.  The doors open as Chris Staggs and Father O'Keith get out. Chris Staggs walks over to the side and opens up the sliding door as the first graders that attacked Gray last week get out. They are jammed in there like Mexicans as 20 or so kids finally get out of the mini van. RACIAL STEREOTYPING!!! Anyway the kids and Father O'Keith begin toward Chuck E. Cheese as Chris Staggs just stands there looking out at the street as Father O'Keith stops and turns toward Chris Staggs.)

[ Father O'Keith:] What are you doing?

[ Chris Staggs:] Waiting on Jesus duh?

[ Father O'Keith:] Uh tell him to come on.

[ Chris Staggs:] I will when he gets here.

[ Father O'Keith:] He isn't here?

[ Chris Staggs:] Do you see his car?

[ Father O'Keith:] He is driving here?

[ Chris Staggs:] Uh yeah, you want him to walk?

[ Father O'Keith:] This is getting dumb.

[ Chris Staggs:] What?

[ Father O'Keith:] This whole invisible Jesus.

[ Chris Staggs:] It isn't my fault that you are blind.

( Father O'Keith just rolls his eyes at the statement. )

[ Father O'Keith:] Why don't you just come on in and Jesus will know to come in.

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!

( The duo then catch up with the kids and proceed toward the door as Father O'Keith stops everyone. )

[ Father O'Keith:] Before we enter, let's remember to be on our best behavio---

( Just then Chris Staggs shoves Father O'Keith out of the way as he runs inside )

[ Chris Staggs:] I CALL THE BALL PIT!!!!

( The 20 or so kids follows. Chris Staggs runs as he throws off his flip flops and does a belly flop into the ball pit. The 17 year old employee sees this as he walks over toward the ball pit. )

[ 17 Year old Employee: ] Sir...sir?

( Chris Staggs begins to struggle )

[ Chris Staggs:] I CAN'T SWIM!!!!!!

[ 17 Year old Employee: ] Sir...

[ Chris Staggs:] HELP!!! HELP!!!! I CAN'T SWIM!!!

[ 17 Year old Employee: ] Sir...

[ Chris Staggs:] I AM TOO YOUNG TO DIE!!!!

[ 17 Year old Employee: ] SIR!

[ Chris Staggs:] HELP ME!

[ 17 Year old Employee: ] STAND UP!

[ Chris Staggs:] I CAN'T!!! SOMETHING IS ON MY LEGS!!!.

[ 17 Year old Employee: ] Hey kid move over to the left.

( The kids moves to the left, )

[ 17 Year old Employee: ] Sir now stand up.

( Chris Staggs stands up as the balls in the pit go about knee high. Chris Staggs now wades his way out of the ball pit. )

[ 17 Year old Employee: ] Sir please stay out of the ball pit.

[ Chris Staggs:] No worries there, that place is dangerous. I can't believe you let kids play in that. I almost died.

[ 17 Year old Employee: ] Whateva--

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!

( The 17 Year old employee walks off as minimum wage isn't enough to put up with this type of shit. Chris Staggs walks back over to the group. )

[ Chris Staggs:] No one go to the ball pit, it is very dangerous.

[ Father O'Keith:] Right, anyway why don't we go get at a table.

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO! PIZZA PIZZA PIZZA!!!!!!

[ Kids:] PIZZA PIZZA PIZZA!!!!

[ Father O'Keith:] Yes yes I know you all want pizza.

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!

[ Father O'Keith:] Now why don't we take a seat.

[ Chris Staggs:] NO!

[ Kids: ] WE WANT GAMES!!!

[ Chris Staggs:] YEAH! GAMES GAMES GAMES!!!!!

[ Father O'Keith:] Jesus.

[ Chris Staggs:] Where?

[ Father O'Keith:] Nothing.

[ Chris Staggs:] Dude if Jesus is here tell me. He might not want pizza.

[ Father O'Keith:] Uh just go and play I will order the pizza.

[ Chris Staggs:] CHEESE PIZZA!!!

[ Father O'Keith:] Fine, cheese pizza.

[ Kids:] YAY!!!!!

( The kids and Chris Staggs start out toward the gaming area. Chris Staggs stops in the middle of the area. )

[ Chris Staggs:] JESUS!

......................

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO! Father O'Keith is ordering cheese pizza is that okay?

......................

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO! Cheese pizza rules!

.......................

[ Chris Staggs:] Yeah we are rewarding the kids for not be influenced by Gray.

.......................

[ Chris Staggs:] Yeah Chuck E. Cheese is a great reward.

............................

[ Chris Staggs:] Do I have to? I want to play air hockey.

......................

[ Chris Staggs:] Fine but after that, You versus me in air hockey.

.......................

[ Chris Staggs:] You are going down after I talk about my match as I am united with Cluck Cluck and my brother as we take on that zombie that wants to eat my brother's brain, NRG who is evil, and of course Gray who is trying to turn all the kids in to foul mouth Ranma fans. It is apparent the Care Bears marathon didn't change you. I guess we will have to try another thing to change your ways. You trying to influence kids into little bad mouth Ramnas isn't right. You know we already seen one group of those. Tyler McClelland and Christian Atwater. We don't kids no showing for class do we? You know school is very important to kids. They are taught stuff there. Anyway I guess you will find right at home with your teammates. You have Zombie who we know are evil and scare children. Night of the Living Dead still scares kids not to mention me. I never go to a graveyard. Then you have Glore who is just plain evil. He keeps Jeff Harris in a cage. I mean how evil is that. He actually has Jeff Harris with him. The guy is disturbed. He needs to take a trip to my former home. Shady Arces Mental Ward. It is a cool place. You get lots of drugs. You might like it. Wait you like beer. I don't think they serve that at the mental ward. Well they might have ,but I don't ever remember ordering it errr them giving me it. So Gray you and the Evil doers are going down with Cluck Cluck now back. Hey Cluck Cluck I am glad to see you back, sorry that I don't have your IWF International Title. Davis and crew decided to merge it together. So I am sorry that I don't have it but it seems that you found a new friend that is cool. Uh Uh Uh yeah we are going to really try and win and stuff. Whatever right now I am ready to play some air hockey. I mean I could continue to talk about how Gray being a huge fan of Ranma has really gotten out of hand. I could talk about how Zombie has been seen in over a month. I could talk about Glore then again he is our boss. I rather not bad mouth the CEO. I need money to buy Scooby Doo DVDs after all. So I guess I will have to go into the match and come out with a victory. Cluck Cluck is back and ready. My brother well I don't know where he is. Maybe he is at my parents house. He might had to move back in and stuff since the Zombie is after him. He might be hiding out at my parents house. OOPS! Zombie will see this and go to my parents house. Good thing he doesn't know they live Canada. OOPS AGAIN!  MOM....DAD.....LEAVE THE HOUSE NOW!! GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN!!! GRAB THE TV THOUGH!!!! JUST MOVE BEFORE THE ZOMBIE COMES!!!! Anyway uh I guess now you know and knowing is half the battle...................YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO JOE!!!!!!!  Now Jesus, its GAME TIME!!!

( Chris Staggs now runs over to the air hockey table and gets ready. )

[ Chris Staggs:] I will start. 

( Chris Staggs hits it and he scores a goal as he goes crazy )

[ Chris Staggs:] GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

........................

[ Chris Staggs:] What do you mean I am a bad winner?

.......................

[ Chris Staggs:] That isn't showboating.

.......................

[ Chris Staggs:] I am not another Terrell Owens.

.......................

[ Chris Staggs:] What do you mean, I know you are not....T.O. has the skills to back it up.

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[ Chris Staggs:]  You say I suck at air hockey? I just scored didn't I?

.....................

[ Chris Staggs:] Lucky shot? NO WAY! 

( Chris Staggs hits the puck again and GOAL AGAIN! )

[ Chris Staggs:] Who sucks now?

....................

[ Chris Staggs:] You weren't ready? That is a lie. You are always ready....You're JESUS!

...................

[ Chris Staggs:] I am not a cheater. This game is no fun.

...................

[ Chris Staggs:]  Fine, let's play Whack A Mole. 

( Chris Staggs walks over to the Whack A Mole as three kids stand there confused at just what happened with Chris Staggs and invisible Jesus. )

(END PROMO )