( We see Chris Staggs moving a piece on a game board just then he starts jumping up and down with Father O'Keith just shaking his head as Chris Staggs starts doing the cabbage patch as he now finishes up then takes a seat on the ground again and looks Father O'Keith )

[ Chris Staggs:] JESUS KICKED GOD'S BOOTY!!!

( Father O'Keith pulls out the ruler and slaps him on the hand. Chris Staggs jerks his hand back after the slap and rubs his hand. )

[ Chris Staggs:] Sore loser.

[ Father O'Keith:] God can't lose he is perfect.

[ Chris Staggs:] I don't know what you were watching but Jesus and me just kick God and your booty.

[ Father O'Keith:] It was just you versus me.

[ Chris Staggs:] Sure cover for God.

[ Father O'Keith:] I am not covering for God.

[ Chris Staggs:] Well if God is so perfect why did he not allow you to beat Jesus and me.

[ Father O'Keith:] He didn't want to defeat Jesus.

[ Chris Staggs:] Yeah I guess he regrets killing his son.

[ Father O'Keith:] Sacrifice, He sacrificed him. 

[ Chris Staggs:] Well he still killed him didn't he?

[ Father O'Keith:] He did it for us.

[ Chris Staggs:] Likely excuse.

( SLAP!!!)

[ Chris Staggs:] OUCH!

[ Father O'Keith:] You better recognize that the Lord is your creator and all perfect.

[ Chris Staggs:] Fine but do I have to like him?

[ Father O'Keith:] Yes.

[ Chris Staggs:] Why!? All I have known him to do is give me test after test in this big plan that I have no idea what it is about.

[ Father O'Keith:] It will work out in the end.

[ Chris Staggs:] You always say that but you don't know when the end is.

[ Father O'Keith:] Trust me.

[ Chris Staggs:] I do but till the end gets here I think that I will put my faith in Jesus.

[ Father O'Keith:] You can't put faith in Jesus and not in God.

[ Chris Staggs:] Why not?

[ Father O'Keith:] It isn't right.

[ Chris Staggs:] Why?

[ Father O'Keith:] Cause.

[ Chris Staggs:] Cause why?

[ Father O'Keith:] DO YOU WANT TO BE SENT TO HELL AFTER YOU ARE ATTACKED WITH THE TEN PLAGUES!!!

( Chris Staggs eyes widened in fright )

[ Chris Staggs:] NO NO NO!

[ Father O'Keith:] Then put faith in God and Jesus.

[ Chris Staggs:] Fine I have faith in God but I am going to just talk to Jesus.

[ Father O'Keith:] Fine whateva--

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!

[ Father O'Keith:] I am glad we got that settled.

[ Chris Staggs:] Yeah but Jesus and I still are better then God and you at chute n ladders.

[ Father O'Keith:] I am telling you God didn't help me.

[ Chris Staggs:] That proves my point.

[ Father O'Keith:] You were trying to make a point?

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!

[ Father O'Keith:] What was it?

[ Chris Staggs:] Jesus is the only one that will help you.

[ Father O'Keith:] That isn't true. Maybe God had better things to do then help me win a stupid board game.

[ Chris Staggs:] FOR THE LAST TIME CHUTES N LADDERS IS NOT A STUPID BOARD GAME!

[ Father O'Keith:] Do not raise your voice at me, my son.

[ Chris Staggs:] Sorry forgot.... indoor voice.

[ Father O'Keith:] That is better.

[ Chris Staggs:] Anyway what is God doing that is so important?

[ Father O'Keith:] Saving lives.

[ Chris Staggs:] Oh well until I am dying I guess I will continue to ask Jesus for help. I mean he finished his job when he died on the cross.

[ Father O'Keith:] I guess that is somewhat true.

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!

[ Father O'Keith:] Yes.

[ Chris Staggs:] Jesus is going to lead me to the world title.

[ Father O'Keith:] If he chooses to do so.

[ Chris Staggs:] He will, like I told you we are best friends.

[ Father O'Keith:] What about Grady?

[ Chris Staggs:] I can have more then one best friend.

[ Father O'Keith:] I guess that is true.

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!

[ Father O'Keith:] What about Bubbles?

[ Chris Staggs:] Dude I said I can more than one best friend. I am lucky I have three.

[ Father O'Keith:] Yes I guess you are.

[ Chris Staggs:] Now that I have Jesus as my best friend then I will not have any more days of being sad.

[ Father O'Keith:] Jesus loves you.

[ Chris Staggs:] That my friend is FO SHO!

[ Father O'Keith:] Now why don't you talk about your two matches at Rise Of An Empire.

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO! So it appears that the Local Dudes are going to take Grady and my tag titles away. As now the mysterious fan has released his promo as he now has two more mysterious guys with him. So I see you started a club for masked fans. That is pretty cool. I had a club once although Binky The Teddy Bear ran it into the ground. He made a lot of bad decision for the club and then some pictures surfaced with him in some compromising situations. I really wished we wouldn't have elected him president. Anyway back to the Fan and his two masked fans I guess those are the guys that attack Grady and myself. Well good for them. Was that like a thing they had to do to get in to the club? Moving on now here we go again another wrong statement from the Local Dudes. I don't have a dog or monkey. I have a chimp and I did have a dog a year ago, but I don't have one anymore. I guess I am going to have to take both of you two Lens Crafter to get you some glasses. Anyway you would probably complain about the glasses like you are about wrestling two matches. I don't understand why you two are complaining about having two matches. I am usually wrestling two matches at pay per views. Heck I wrestled three last pay per view. By the way I may be called stupid ,but I think the reason Grady and I have matches after the tag match is that we are in other title matches. I don't know I am just guessing here. Though don't worry... wrestling two matches isn't that bad. You just have to... wait...you don't have Jesus Juice do you? Well I guess you are screwed then. Oh well I guess you will have to live with it. Though if you do somehow defeat Grady and me for the titles you will have to get use to wrestling two matches at the pay per views. So get over it. Now Local Fan I must ask what spotlight am I hogging from Grady? I don't know what you are talking about I guess if I am hogging a spotlight then I will apologize to Grady for hogging it cause sharing is the right thing to do according to Sesame Street. Though I still don't see why Dude Job and yourself are saying that Grady and I are having problems. I think it is actually better that he is preparing for the match. Did you see what he did to Pete Ebdon when he prepared for the match. I will just have to tell him not to call out the moves to me cause you two will hear it and beat us like Gray and Khadafi did. We will have that covered before the match. So go ahead and you three masked fans say that Grady and I will not win the match. Tell us that if we try to do something funny that your two masked fans will have your backs. I don't know what funny thing you are expecting us to do behind your backs but whateva... FO SHO! I guess like you said I will refer to Dude Job's promos as he is doing the talking for you two. Now onto Dude Job, excuse me let me break out the decoder ring. So Dude Job you are the one that is going to talk for your tag team. Did you know that Local Fan has two masked men? Did you know that those two masked men don't think you can defeat Zombie by yourself as they have offered to help you. Yet you two keep on saying Grady and I are the ones that are having the problems. Once again you two don't have an identity. You two have had two tag team matches as a team. I don't know maybe you two did those trust exercises, you know the one where on guy stands in front of the other guy and the guy in front falls back as he trusts the guy behind will catch him ,but if not then I really don't see how you two can trust each other in a matter of two matches. Heck you were gone for a couple weeks after the attack from the Zipper guy. Yet I guess you don't have to trust each other look at JD Lawson and now Memphis Gray were tag team champions. See Dude Job I trust that Grady will have my back. I trust that he will help me defeat you two. You on the other hand have just the word of the Local Fan. Also I have Jesus on my side as you... well it seems doesn't. I mean if you did then you would really know who you are. You wouldn't have to do this search for your real self. You know I bet that is one of those God's plan test. Good luck they get pretty annoying after a while. Heck I might actually win cause God is testing you.  He costs me two matches cause of his test. Too bad he didn't know that Jesus and I are best friends. He didn't know I was with Jesus playing Playstation 2 and eating pizza. See I got myself covered from losses. Jesus will only do things that will help me become a better wrestler and person. So go ahead make snide remarks about my intelligence, say that you and the Local Fan are going to win the titles. I know that with Jesus on my side that the right person will walk out of the pay per view with the tag team titles. Heck you don't even need a decoder ring to figure out what I am saying to you. After that match I move on to defend my IW InterNational title against a drunk former shell of a wrestler. Ali Khadafi.

So I guess Ali Khadafi has found some more whiskey and decided to cut a promo. I don't even know why I am in this match. I am starting to think that Ali will just beat himself up for me. That would be funny to watch. I hope he does it that way I will not have to much work. After all I will have already wrestled one match. I don't feel like doing it again. Heck I mean I wasn't going to insult you ,but you went ahead and insulted yourself for me. I don't even know why I am really talking about this match. I have many things going for me in the match. I have Jesus watching out for me, that beats a Guardian Angel any day of the year. Then I have an opponent who doesn't care about wrestling anymore. Finally he is going to be drunk for the match. Heck I have everything going for me. Although you never know when God is going to show up and put me through another test and take my InterNational title away and give to some deadbeat who doesn't know how to retire. I mean people call me stupid all the time but I even knew how to retire. Then again when I retired I had a free stay at Neverland Ranch. You can't do that since they won't let anyone in Neverland Ranch right now. I guess you will keep wrestling till Michael comes back. I may even be nice and call Michael up after he gets back from jail and see if you can stay with him. It would sure beat being just another warm body to be thrown around the ring till the three count. I still can't believe you get a title shot. I mean I remember if I ever cussed someone out they would either tell on me or give me time out ,but you get rewarded a title shot. I just don't understand it. I might need to break out the decoder ring for this thing too. This has more twists then a Scooby Doo episode. Oh well maybe Ali will be too drunk to luck into a victory. Sure God could help you ,but I mean he couldn't really ever see you as a InterNational champion. Though I am sure Jesus has God on lock down to make sure he doesn't cost me the IW InterNational title. Jesus will keep an eye on the match and God to make sure nothing goes wrong. You see Ali, you could be me if you would ever go to Jesus-made AA classes. Though I guess you will keep on crying and drinking till you either get fired or retire. All I know is I tried to help you ,but you don't seem to want it. By the way shouldn't you be laying on your back now if you are prepared for death? I really don't know, I really don't care, I just know that with Jesus on my side there is no way that I am going to walk out without my IW InterNational title. So go ahead finish up another bottle of whiskey. It will help keep the IW InterNational Title with me. Thanks to Jesus. 

So Local Dudes and Ali Khadafi now you know and knowing is half the battle YOOOOOOOOOOOO JOE!!!

( Chris Staggs smirks )

[ Chris Staggs:] What am I worried about? It is in the bag with Jesus on my side.

[ Father O'Keith:] We know you said that.

[ Chris Staggs:] So? It doesn't change the fact.

[ Father O'Keith:] I guess not.

[ Chris Staggs:] Anyway I can't wait till the pay per view.

[ Father O'Keith:] So you can defend your titles?

[ Chris Staggs:] No.

[ Father O'Keith:] Why then?

[ Chris Staggs:] So I can talk to Grady.

[ Father O'Keith:] You haven't talked to him this week?

[ Chris Staggs:] I can't.

[ Father O'Keith:] Why?

[ Chris Staggs:] His phone is dead.

[ Father O'Keith:] How do you know?

[ Chris Staggs:] Every time I call him It just keeps ringing.

[ Father O'Keith:] Hmmmmm

[ Chris Staggs:] What?

[ Father O'Keith:] Nothing.

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!

[ Father O'Keith:] Yeah.

[ Chris Staggs:] So do God and you want some more of Jesus and me?

[ Father O'Keith:] Fine.

( Chris Staggs starts setting up the board again. )

( END PROMO)