[ Chris Staggs:] Hey Dad.

[ Father O'Keith:] It's Father, my son.

[ Chris Staggs:] Sorry. anyway did Jesus have to do chores?

[ Father O'Keith:] What kind of question is that?

[ Chris Staggs:] Well if he did I wonder what chores they were in Heaven.

[ Father O'Keith:] I don't think I know the answer to that question.

[ Chris Staggs:] Oh well did he have like a dog that is like all dog's savior?

[ Father O'Keith:] Um I don't know that either.

[ Chris Staggs:] Oh.

[ Father O'Keith:] I guess it could be possible.

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO! I bet it was a wiener dog too. Everyone knows those dogs are the coolest dogs in the whole world.

[ Father O'Keith:] I guess that could be true.

[ Chris Staggs:] Coo. So father what's up?

[ Father O'Keith:] Nothing much just checking see how you were doing.

[ Chris Staggs:] Fine now that Scooby Doo is on.

[ Father O'Keith:] Good you seemed a little down earlier.

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO! Life sucks then you die. I mean Naggsy left me, and Bubbles got sick.

[ Father O'Keith:] Oh don't think that way about life, my son.

[ Chris Staggs:] Why? Naggsy always told me that.

[ Father O'Keith:] That isn't the way to live life.

[ Chris Staggs:] How do I live my life then?

[ Father O'Keith:] Live your life in order to serve God.

[ Chris Staggs:] Become God's butler? I don't think I can get that job.

[ Father O'Keith:] No, that isn't what I mean. I meant life your life in the image of the Lord.

[ Chris Staggs:] Okay but I don't know if I can grow a white beard and get a lightening bolt. 

[ Father O'Keith:] I didn't mean look like him. I mean act the way you think it would make God proud.

[ Chris Staggs:] I think he will be proud to know that I am the best seeker in hide n go seek.

[ Father O'Keith:] Good, but I mean lead a good life. You know follow the commandments and stuff.

[ Chris Staggs:] Commandments?

[ Father O'Keith:] Yeah the ten commandants.

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!

[ Father O'Keith:] Have you even read the Bible?

[ Chris Staggs:] Um no.

[ Father O'Keith:] I guess I might have to educate you on it.

[ Chris Staggs:] As long as you promise no test or pop quiz at the end.

[ Father O'Keith:] I promise.

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!

[ Father O'Keith:] I guess we will start at the first book.

[ Chris Staggs:] Wait first book!? How many books are there?

[ Father O'Keith:] In total there are 66 divided in the Old and New Testament.

[ Chris Staggs:] Whoa. I don't think I am going to be able to finish it by the end of this week.

[ Father O'Keith:] I will give you an overview of each book.

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO! CLIFF NOTES!

[ Father O'Keith:] I will start off in Genesis.

[ Chris Staggs:] WHOA! They wrote a book? Was the after Phil Collins left the band?

[ Father O'Keith:] What? No this has nothing do with them. This takes place a long long time ago.

[ Chris Staggs:] Oh. 

[ Father O'Keith:] Genesis starts out with God's creation of the world. It took him seven days.

[ Chris Staggs:] Wow he is a very quick worker. He must have super powers.

[ Father O'Keith:] I guess anyway. The world he first created was perfect in everyway.

[ Chris Staggs:] GET OUT! They had M&Ms all the time and Scooby Doo on television every moment of the day. 

[ Father O'Keith:] Um sure. That changed though when the people chose to disobey him.

[ Chris Staggs:] THOSE GOOBERS!!! Why?

[ Father O'Keith:] Temptation of the DEVIL!

[ Chris Staggs:] NO! Wait if the world was perfect then what temptation would they have?

[ Father O'Keith:] You see God had set rules for Adam & Eve. One was not to eat apples of a certain tree.

[ Chris Staggs:] God has something against apples? I will not eat another apple as long as I live.

[ Father O'Keith:] Anyway, people separated into different nations and languages.

[ Chris Staggs:] So you are saying that we have Canada and Mexico because someone ate an apple?

[ Father O'Keith:] Not exactly.

[ Chris Staggs:] I think the apples are the devil. They are trying to take over the world.

[ Father O'Keith:] Let's move on okay?

[ Chris Staggs:] Fine.

[ Father O'Keith:] Anyway several generations pass before God finally speaks as he speaks to a man named Abraham.

[ Chris Staggs:] And Lincoln logs are made. WOW! Lincoln logs are like holy.

[ Father O'Keith:] Not that Abraham.

[ Chris Staggs:] Oh.

[ Father O'Keith:] Yeah, anyway God makes a promise with Abraham.

[ Chris Staggs:] A pinky promise?

[ Father O'Keith:] Sure.

[ Chris Staggs:] That way God can't break his promise.

[ Father O'Keith:] God is perfect. Anyway he promises to make Abraham's descendants into a great nation.

[ Chris Staggs:] Wow now that must have been a big family to make their own nation.

[ Father O'Keith:] It isn't just one family. It is a figure of speech. It doesn't really mean like his sons. 

[ Chris Staggs:] OH FO SHO!

[ Father O'Keith:] Anyway he also promise great land too. Now after this promise, Abraham shows great faith in God.

[ Chris Staggs:] I would too if he talked to me and promised me stuff.

[ Father O'Keith:] God shows a number of signs and tests to seal his promise.

[ Chris Staggs:] He gave him a number of tests? That was mean of God.

[ Father O'Keith:] The tests developed the great nation and land.

[ Chris Staggs:] OH FO SHO!

[ Father O'Keith:] The promise passes through Abraham's son and grandson.

[ Chris Staggs:] Man that is a long standing promise.

[ Father O'Keith:] Anyway Abraham, his son Issac, and grandson Jacob represent the Fathers of the Israelites.

[ Chris Staggs:] Who?

[ Father O'Keith:] Israelites. Anyway Jacob's youngest of twelve sons...Joseph miraculously becomes a high official in Egypt as the move there. As we end the book of Genesis.

[ Chris Staggs:] That was the ending? That ending wasn't any good.

[ Father O'Keith:] Sorry but that is the ending.

[ Chris Staggs:] I would have ended it with them catching the apple and unmasking it to be Old Man Luke.

( Father O'Keith just stares at Chris Staggs. )

[ Father O'Keith:] Why don't you talk about your non-title match with Memphis this week.

[ Chris Staggs:] Non Title matches mean I'm am not even worth it or that is what Ranma said. So I guess I am not worth it.

[ Father O'Keith:] I have seen Ranma and don't listen to what he has to say about matches and wrestling. He has became an old bitter man that hates the wrestling industry.

[ Chris Staggs:] Why does he run IW then?

[ Father O'Keith:] Don't know guess he just does.

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO! Also why should I believe anything Memphis Gray says? Heck last week he made claims about beating Grady in Punch-Out while everyone knows that Punch-Out is a one player game only. There is no two player game in it. You can't be anyone other than Lil' Mac. I mean Gray, people call me stupid ,but I even knew that you were lying when you said that. Gray you shouldn't lie cause liars go to the Devil's kitchen to wash dishes. Heck I guess I shouldn't believe the other stuff you say either. I shouldn't believe that you don't have to work hard to defeat me. I shouldn't believe that I am a flop. Heck I am not the one claiming that he is a first SWF/IW Grand Slam champion. What the heck is that suppose to mean anyway? I thought we were in the IW. Wait you are telling me that we can bring SWF titles and add them to IW titles to make your own division of grand slam champion? If you mean just SWF then I thought Mr. Nyquil, Petey was the first SWF Grand Slam Champion. Heck that is another lie. Dang it, Gray, I am starting to believe the whole promo is a lie. I bet you are not even playing Punch-Out in your promos. I bet your old Nintendo isn't even working. I mean I now have to blow out the dust from the inside of mine to get the game to work sometimes. Anyway Gray why should I continue to listen to you? I mean from the start of your promo it has been lie after lie. So now you want me to believe you had a choice to choose a week off or wrestle me? Wow they gave you choices? I guess that is what happens when you are IW World Champion. Though I would think offering a week off would make our World Champions lazy. Although you are different Gray, you chose to face me. Thank you. I guess you will have an easy night of it after all I haven't done anything but be a double champion. I haven't proved anyone that I am a threat. Now that is all coming from you and we now know that you lie a lot. You know Gray you maybe lying on those I mean heck Naggsy said the front office would screw me out of the World Title. That might be the reason I am not a threat. Funny thing it seems that this match isn't a World Title match. So I guess Ranma or Davis will not cost me the match. I even got some of the KY Jelly ready just in case they try to cost me the match. Though I am not going to need it. You see people say I don't handle pressure well. They may be right ,but I have no pressure going into this match. So now you want to front like Scrappy Doo saying that you are not even going to think about the match with me? You are going to act all big and bad just like Scrappy Doo? You know there is one thing different from you and Scrappy Doo. Scrappy Doo has Scooby to hold him back and prevent from looking bad. Cause we know that if Scrappy ever did get in a fight with one of those monsters, he would have been beaten down. Unfortunately Gray you don't have anyone holding you back and prevent you from looking bad. You don't have a Shaggy or Scooby Doo to tell you it is a bad idea to not think about the match. They can't tell you that this match isn't going to be as easy as you think it will be. Too bad cause Shaggy and Scooby are pretty smart if you give them a chance. Scooby does catch all the monsters on the episodes. Gray you see I am going to prove that I deserve to be in the world title picture. I am going to prove that I should get another shot so Scooby Doo can stay with me forever. Gray I am going to show you that I am now a goofy, corny, slob.  Gray now you know and knowing if half the battle YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO JOE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

( Chris Staggs smirks and then looks over at Gray)

[ Chris Staggs:] Father, you know even though that book was boring, well the last part of the book. The second part was just dumb about the great nation and God promising the guy. The first part reminded me of Gray

[ Father O'Keith:] Really?

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!

[ Father O'Keith:] How is that?

[ Chris Staggs:] Well the IW right now is like God's perfect world.

[ Father O'Keith:] It is?

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!

[ Father O'Keith:] Go on.

[ Chris Staggs:] Well Gray is going to screw it up.

[ Father O'Keith:] How so?

[ Chris Staggs:] He isn't going to try. He is going to disobey Ranma. He says he is going to be different from the Harris, Atwater, and D-Word's ,but second match he wanted an easy match. He doesn't want to try.

[ Father O'Keith:] I think most of what he said about choosing the match was a lie.

[ Chris Staggs:] AGAIN WITH THE LIES!

[ Father O'Keith:] Yes my son.

[ Chris Staggs:] Can't you help him

[ Father O'Keith:] No. He must want to help himself before I can.

[ Chris Staggs:] What about if he doesn't quit lying?

[ Father O'Keith:] Then I guess he will spend eternity in Hell.

[ Chris Staggs:] OH!

[ Father O'Keith:] Yes but he can still go to a confessional and confess his sins.

[ Chris Staggs:] Did you hear that Gray. Just admit you are a liar to my father and you will not go to heck.

[ Father O'Keith:] I guess that could work.

[ Chris Staggs:] So Gray what are you waiting on? Just admit you didn't play Punch-Out with Grady.

[ Father O'Keith:] Um right.

[ Chris Staggs:] OH MAN!

[ Father O'Keith:] What?

[ Chris Staggs:] I missed Scooby Doo.

[ Father O'Keith:] You know it is a marathon.

[ Chris Staggs:] OH FO SHO!

( Chris Staggs jumps up and does the cabbage patch as he plops back down on the couch, getting ready to watch yet another Scooby Doo cartoon. Father O'Keith takes a seat in a chair by the couch as all three begin to watch the show. )

( END PROMO)