[ Chris Naggs:] Why are you so happy?

[ Chris Staggs:] I found out how to get the POWER OF THE PUSH.

[ Chris Naggs:] You did?

[ Chris Staggs:] Well Bubbles helped.

[ Chris Naggs:] Of course he did.

[ Chris Staggs:] Anyway Ranma and Andy were in the FWF right?

[ Chris Naggs:] Uh yeah.

[ Chris Staggs:] Well I am going to use the things that got wrestlers the world title in the FWF.

[ Chris Naggs:] What?

[ Chris Staggs:] Guys who didn't deserve the world title but got it cause of something.

[ Chris Naggs:] I guess this is Bubbles' idea.

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!

[ Chris Naggs:] Errr...

[ Chris Staggs:] First thing I could be like Jason Hartnell.

[ Chris Naggs:] Whoa hold on there.

[ Chris Staggs:] What?

[ Chris Naggs:] Two things, first Ranma and Davis hate Hartnell, that will not get you a power push.

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!?

[ Chris Naggs:] Also you don't want to do what Hartnell did to get his push to the world title.

[ Chris Staggs:] What did he do.

[ Chris Naggs:] Um let's just say he made a service call to Justin Goldman.

[ Chris Staggs:] Oh I don't know anything about cars.

[ Chris Naggs:] .....

[ Chris Staggs:] Well okay what about Justin Sane.

[ Chris Naggs:] What about him?

[ Chris Staggs:] I am going to do what he did to get the World Title.

[ Chris Naggs:] And that would be?

Stagganator:  You know that microwaves control your mind. Yeah the government has put mind control devices in every appliance to control us. They want us not to believe that we didn't land of the moon. Also you know that the government cheese is used to promote violence in the ghettos. What you don't believe me? Ask my talking can, Paco. He will tell ya it is all true. He also says that the government is controlled by Satan and the end of the world is upon us. JUDGMENT DAY IS UPON US AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! YOU ARE GOING TO BE DAMNED LIKE THE REST OF US! AHAHAHAHAHAHA

[ Chris Naggs:] Where the hell did you get that guy?

[ Chris Staggs:] I found him on the corner that had a sign that said "Will Work For Food". I'm scared now. I don't want to go to H E double Hockey Sticks.

[ Chris Naggs:] Staggs, the guy is crazy. That is why he is homeless with the sign.

[ Chris Staggs:] Oh FO SHO ;by the way, do we have any food to give him?

[ Chris Naggs:] Check the fridge.

( Chris Staggs walks over to the fridge looks for a minute then pulls out a jar of mustard. )

[ Chris Staggs:] I guess we can give him some mustard. 

[ Chris Naggs:] He probably won't know the difference.

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!

[ Chris Naggs:] Anyway I wouldn't do the narrator thing with that crazy bum.

[ Chris Staggs:] What about Missle title reign?

[ Chris Naggs:] What...

What: Pronoun
1. a. Which thing or which particular one of many: What are you having for dinner? What did she say? b. Which kind, character, or designation: What are these objects? c. One of how much value or significance: What are possessions to a dying man? 2. a. That which; the thing that: Listen to what I tell you. b. Whatever thing that: come what may. 3. Informal Something: I'll tell you what. 4. Nonstandard Which, who, or that: It's the poor what gets the blame.

[ Chris Naggs:] The...

The: Definite article
1. a. Used before singular or plural nouns and noun phrases that denote particular, specified persons or things: the baby; the dress I wore. b. Used before a noun, and generally stressed, to emphasize one of a group or type as the most outstanding or prominent: considered Lake Shore Drive to be the neighborhood to live in these days. c. Used to indicate uniqueness: the Prince of Wales; the moon. d. Used before nouns that designate natural phenomena or points of the compass: the weather; a wind from the south.

[ Chris Naggs:] Hell?

Hell: Noun
1. a. often Hell The abode of condemned souls and devils in some religions; the place of eternal punishment for the wicked after death, presided over by Satan. b. A state of separation from God; exclusion from God's presence. 2. The abode of the dead, identified with the Hebrew Sheol and the Greek Hades; the underworld. 3. a. A situation or place of evil, misery, discord, or destruction: "War is hell" (William Tecumseh Sherman). b. Torment; anguish: went through hell on the job. 4. a. The powers of darkness and evil. b. Informal One that causes trouble, agony, or annoyance: The boss is hell when a job is poorly done. 5. A sharp scolding: gave the student hell for cheating. 6. Informal Excitement, mischievousness, or high spirits: We did it for the sheer hell of it. 7. a. A tailor's receptacle for discarded material. b. Printing A hellbox. 8. Informal Used as an intensive: How the hell can I go? You did one hell of a job. 9. Archaic A gambling house.

[ Chris Naggs:] Damn it, that is annoying, quit with the definitions.

[ Chris Staggs:] What about my push?

[ Chris Naggs:] It doesn't always work look at Bock.

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO! good point.

[ Chris Naggs:] Good.

[ Chris Staggs:] What about NR--

[ Chris Naggs:] Stop right there we can't mention him in our promos anymore because of the Sane Squad altercation.

[ Chris Staggs:] Well Andy said it was okay to use them.

[ Chris Naggs:] Yeah whateva.

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!

[ Chris Naggs:] Right.

[ Chris Staggs:] I could act like my brother ,but I already did that...

I am the biggest Scooby Doo fan.

I am the double champ

I am Chris Staggs.

[ Chris Naggs:] Yeah..

[ Chris Staggs:] I just didn't see how telling who you are would get you a push. Anyway I guess that is all I can think of.

[ Chris Naggs:] You named almost all the champs in the recent era of FWF. What about $traight Money?

[ Chris Staggs:] I still don't understand how in the world he won the world title.

[ Chris Naggs:] Brock Williams?

[ Chris Staggs:] He was just plain cool.

[ Chris Naggs:] Heck, I'm surprised you didn't mention Andrew Davis.

[ Chris Staggs:] Yeah well I couldn't get the Joel Cheerleaders to come over.

[ Chris Naggs:] Okay?

[ Chris Staggs:] They said they were shampooing their hair tonight.

[ Chris Naggs:] ................. Moving on what about Ranma?

[ Chris Staggs:] I don't have any dresses.

[ Chris Naggs:] What?

[ Chris Staggs:] Isn't that what he likes to do?

[ Chris Naggs:] Well....

[ Chris Staggs:] Plus I don't want to lose any street cred.

[ Chris Naggs:] What street? Sesame Street?

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO! What would Bert & Ernie think?

[ Chris Naggs:] I guess you are right. 

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO! I don't want to dress like a women.

[ Chris Naggs:] Um Chris, why don't you take a break and talk about your two matches this week.

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO! So Grady and I have to defend our IW Tag Team Titles against Dude Job and the Local Fan. Dude Job um I guess you are cool and talented too, thanks for the compliment. Though man you really need to get some help. I am telling you. First you tell me you don't know who you are then like two minutes later you go and tell Grady that you are Dude Job. It is like you are one person when you talk to me. You are the nice Dude Job to me then you talk to Grady you turn into this mean Dude Job. See you have two people trying to control you. Now I tried to look hard and see if I could see those people on your shoulders. You know like the angel and the devil ,but I couldn't. Also I don't care if you attack Johnny O. if that is what you do when you take the medicine since that will probably prevent him from attacking us. Heck that makes me want you to be on medicine even more.  Moving on, you think I take medicine to help me? I quit taking them after I left Shady Acres. Wait do you mean my Flintstones vitamins? Yes they help me grow and become stronger. The Bam Bam ones give me extra strength. I am like BAM BAM all day long when I take the Bam Bam ones.  Anyway Dude Job you have ruined my strategy. Wait a second what strategy are you talking about? My strategy is to run around the ring avoid getting hit and hitting my opponent and pinning them for three seconds or make them say uncle. WHOOPS! Dang it, now I am going have to think up a whole new strategy. Also I already said you couldn't be a double spy or double agent. Anyway your one side would probably tell on your other side. I think the mean Dude Job is a tattle tell. Now I don't know why people don't want to be in the tag team division, you Dude Job are not the only one that say this. I mean heck you don't have to wrestle all the time, you can take a break and rest. Plus you have some one to play Battleship and Chutes N Ladders with while you wait for your match. Though you don't believe me and Grady are like the best tag team, but we have had the belts every time we have decided to tag together. We won the title four times in like half a year as a tag team. By the way I want to know where to get these cameras that can record your dreams. It seems like everyone has them now. I mean we had Grimes and now you. I checked at Radio Shack and they don't sell them. Does the IW hand them out when you what to do a dream promo?  I really want to record my dream that way I can remember it and watch it. I bet that would be fun.  Oh well I guess I will have to do without one. Anyway Dude Job you believe that you can get the job done with the Local Fan who you say isn't your father?

Local Fan, are you really a fan? I mean you tell us you don't know much about us. If you were a real fan then you would know about me, I think most fans do. Heck I am a SWF Hall of Famer. I have been in the SWF and IWF and IW for like eva'. You don't know about our tag team well we have been tag team champions one... two... three... four times see I know my 1-2-3's too. We were champions in SWF, IWF, and IW. So I think you are nothing but a big phony. I am going to call you the Local Phony. Anyway you believe that I should look at myself and see why I am not a world champion. I am, why do you think I want to find the POWER OF THE PUSH? Anyway Local PHONY! you want to say that we haven't faced the greatest tag team before. Yeah I don't think we have faced ourselves yet. OH BURN! TWO POINTS! So Local Phony you finally say why you don't like Grady or me. You don't like fun. You want to see people struggle to understand themselves. I guess that is why you just sit there with the tape paused talking to us. Yeah I am sure that is a money maker. I don't understand what is entertaining about just looking at people the whole promo. I mean I guess since you followed the IW around the world, you don't have any friends. Though you could maybe call up Dude Job and talk to him in your promo.  Wait you don't probably don't want to have a promo For Your Intertainment, you want to struggle to understand yourself. Oh well. Local Fan you believe that Dude Job and you can beat me in the tag match? Dude Job tried to beat us for the tag belts and couldn't get it done. What makes you think he will do it this time? That is more insane than the New Scooby Doo show. You can't replace the classic. So Local PHONY! You want to think that Dude Job and you are going to take Grady and my titles then you are going to be very very sad after the show. Grady and I are going to show you that we are the coolest duo since Batman and Robin. We are more awesome than Scooby and Shaggy. We are better than Bert and Ernie. We are WHATEVA FO SHO! FO SHO! 

Moving on to my second match, Erick Caine, you decide to go back to the gimmick where you don't show or something? Wait that is right you have the unmatched ability. You don't need to do all these promos do you? Though again you might not try like you said is the reason you lost all your matches. Though if you knew what your problem was why didn't you change it earlier? Anyway your ability will not help you if you don't try just like Scooby Doo without the Scooby snacks. Scooby is afraidy cat without the Scooby Snacks. Erick, do you need some Scooby Snacks? Wait that is gross. You would want to eat dog food? It doesn't taste that good just ask Tiger. He had to eat it cause he lost a match. I don't think he liked it.  So Erick Caine you believe that you can just show up and win the match then you are crazier then Roger Rabbit. You believe that you can just defeat me then you are spending too much time in the Mystery Machine. Now you say no one in the match can stand toe to toe with you. Well I can. I got ten toes wait unless you are one of those freak people that have six toes on each foot. Which I guess you would be right... no one could stand toe to toe with you. Though if you are that kind of person, we don't need a freak like that as the World Champion. Erick Caine you will not win the match and prevent me from getting closer to Scooby Doo staying with me. I will get the POWER OF THE PUSH! So you can take your twelve toes and keep on walking.

Brian Allen must be still arguing with his three faces trying to figure out which one he wants to wrestle this match as, I think I don't know. This is the second straight week I have faced him and I still haven't heard him speak. Wait maybe all three of his faces are those clowns that don't talk ,but just make motions with their arms....MIMES! Nah,  I know he speaks cause I saw some promos by him. I don't know, Allen maybe instead of having three faces you should just choose one and stick with it. It seems to take you a while with all three faces wanting to cut a promo. Anyway I don't care what face shows up tomorrow night. I don't care if you show up as the Estimated Prophet, I beat him last week, I don't care if it is the Brain cause being smart doesn't mean anything in wrestling. Heck you can bring Tha Truth, cause that genie can't help you without cheating thus DQing you. HA! So I don't care what face shows up tomorrow night. All I know is that you are not going to win the match. If you think you do then you are more screwed up then Inspector Gadget's gadgets. FO SHO! You are not going to prevent me from getting closer to my dream. You will see this and I will have the POWER OF THE PUSH! on my side. 

Ali Khadafi, apparently you want to get arrested. I am telling you that the police are watching you. You are black and doing drugs. That is a double whammy. Didn't you hear the crazy old guy earlier? He said the government is watching you. I guess you want to get caught. Anyway you know all I can get from your promos is that Marcus has a nice right hook. He could be like the next Lil Mac. He could fight all over the world and finally facing Mike Tyson and losing cause Mike Tyson is impossible to beat without the game genie. Now would that make you the old fat black trainer though? Oh well. I guess if the IW doesn't work out then you could be a boxing trainer. Anyway it appears that you are too focused on the janitor beating up a doctor to worry about this match. So go on train Lil Mac, I will just continue to get closer. I will grab the POWER OF THE PUSH along the way too.

Johnny O. you can't fool me, you are the same guy you were a couple months ago. That nose is still the same from a couple months back. I know it is you. Wait you mean you changed your stance. I guess you would have to, since you don't have those big guys doing your dirty work for you. Yeah you are too chicken to attack someone one on one. BAWK BAWK!! CHICKEN! Though you couldn't sneak up on anyone cause that nose could be seen from outer space. Anyway why would I want to play stupid? Wouldn't that be umm stupid? I am sorry that you don't understand my love for cartoons like Scooby Doo and such. You don't know why I like Sesame Street and watch it every weekday. Sorry. I guess I can't tell ya. So if that makes me stupid, then fine. If I like to play games and that makes me stupid, then okay. Also I don't know what you are talking about something that I am hiding from you. I don't know what I am hiding from you? Though if I did, I bet you couldn't ever find it. I am the best hider in the IW. Tommy Grady is the best finder. Now you said you don't know what I am hiding, well I guess that makes two of us. You know I bet you were never good at Clue were you? Anyway you think that you would be a good World Champion cause you are reliable. How many big crazy monsters have you managed in the IWF and SWF? You can't even stay along enough to win a title with them. Anyway it is nice that you are in control of your own destiny. That is always a plus. I hate when your destiny is controlled by other people. They usually don't help you. Kinda like you did to the crazy Canadian or the Mountie. I guess that is why they didn't succeed much. Anyway Lion of Athens, if you are yourself then why do you call yourself the Lion of Athens instead of just Johnny O.? I mean aren't you Johnny O.? Oh well it doesn't matter if you are Johnny O. or a lion all I know is that the dog is getting closer to coming home. I will find the POWER OF THE PUSH. I will capture the world title.

Damon Zombie, yeah I got you where you won't eat my brains. I got all the tools that will prevent you or kill you whatever it takes. I got more than enough things to prevent you from that. Yeah I watched that movie that is out about killing horror creatures. Though I am bummed that it didn't say anything about killing zombies. All they had were werewolves, Dracula, Frankenstein, and others but no zombie. I felt robbed. Anyway I know you want my brother so, if you promise not to eat my brains I will show you to him since he is a horrible brother. Heck he is a king of some country and has yet to invite me to his country. Now wait I remembered from your last promo how to stop you. I must bring Meg Ryan with me. Heck she isn't doing anything. I mean see hasn't done anything since You've Got Mail. So I am sure she would fly down to Jamaica to prevent you from eating my brains. HA! I thought of that and JD didn't. I am the smarter brother. Anyway Zombie, if I can't get Meg Ryan I guess I could just rent a bunch of movies that she was in. Now I have to admit that I haven't liked any of her movies either. Then again I usually just rent Scooby Doo and Scooby Doo 2 over and over again. Zombie if that doesn't work then I will still bring my very top top ZOMBIE Keep Away Kit. I will not let you eat my brains. I need my brains unlike other people. Take Caine's he doesn't seem to need it.  So anyway I guess I am as prepared as I will be when you enter the match. I just hope Blockbuster has You've Got Mail still on the self. Wait I think it is always on the self. BURN ON MEG RYAN AND TOM HANKS! WOO! So evil Zombie you are not going to prevent the Scoobs from the house. You are not going to win the match. I will take care of you with Meg Ryan, the kit and of course the POWER OF THE PUSH! 

Now all my opponents know and knowing is half the battle... YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO JOE!!!!

( Chris Naggs sighs as Chris Staggs just then looks shocked as Chris Naggs looks over to see Chris Staggs's expression. )

[ Chris Naggs:] What is it now?

[ Chris Staggs:] I know how to get the POWER OF THE PUSH!

[ Chris Naggs:] How?

[ Chris Staggs:] Just a second.

( Chris Staggs leaves the room as moments later he returns. )

[ Chris Staggs:] I can bribe Davis and Ranma with COFFEE!! It's GENIUS!

[ Chris Naggs:] No you are not going to become a little bitch like Jeff Harris.

[ Chris Staggs:] : (

[ Chris Naggs:] Forget it.

[ Chris Staggs:] You always turn down my ideas. I guess I could do Bubbles idea....

[ Chris Naggs:] What the hell is that suppose to be?

[ Chris Staggs:] Dirty images.

[ Chris Naggs:] Umm okay? 

[ Chris Staggs:] Bubbles drew it. He should be like a pro artist.

[ Chris Naggs:] Sick Puppy never won anything worth while. So stop it. Anyway where the hell is the women's arms in that image?

[ Chris Staggs:] Ummm. SHUT UP!

[ Chris Staggs:] Fine.

( Chris Staggs walks off pouting. Chris Naggs sighs and opens the flask back up and turns it up as it is empty. )

( END PROMO)