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Today's Chaotic Cold War/ Adrenaline Eruption/ Evil Russian Terror Alert Level:
( Camera fades in with Chris Naggs with a huge smile on his face as he walks into the room where Staggs sits watching the Cartoon Network with 1/2 IW Tag Team Title, IWF International Title, and the Aluminum Title sitting next to him. Chris Naggs walks up as he goes to compliment Staggs. ) [ Chris Naggs:] Great job last week. [ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO. [ Chris Naggs:] Capturing the title in your second singles match back.. [ Chris Staggs:] Yeah, Aluminum Man is happy that I got back the Aluminum Title. He even said I could keep it. [ Chris Naggs:] I was talking about the IWF International Title. [ Chris Staggs:] Oh yeah that was cool too. [ Chris Naggs:] Also now you have a shot at the IW World Heavyweight Title in Adrenaline Eruption. [ Chris Staggs:] I don't want to be in that match. [ Chris Naggs:] WHAT!? Why not? [ Chris Staggs:] I don't want to fall in the lava and die. [ Chris Naggs:] What the hell are you talking about? [ Chris Staggs:] Aren't we wrestling on a volcano? [ Chris Naggs:] Um no. It is just a name they made up to call the match. [ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!? [ Chris Naggs:] Yes. [ Chris Staggs:] Then I will do it as long as we don't get put on a volcano. [ Chris Naggs:] Okay its a deal. [ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO! [ Chris Naggs:] Now Staggs you have to defend your newly won IWF International Title against Desmon Baggs. [ Chris Staggs:] But I just won it. [ Chris Naggs:] I know now you have to defend it. [ Chris Staggs:] You know I don't know why I have to have all these titles. I mean I only have one waist. I can't put on all three titles. They don't fit trust me. [ Chris Naggs:] Um why don't you lose the Aluminum Title and put the IW World Tag Team Title on your shoulder and your IWF International Title around your waist. [ Chris Staggs:] LOSE THE ALUMINUM TITLE!? NEVAH! [ Chris Naggs:] Okay put the Aluminum Title around your waist, IW World Tag Team Title on one shoulder and the IWF International Title on your other shoulder. [ Chris Staggs:] I still don't understand why you want me to have all these titles. ( Chris Naggs takes a minute to think of a dumb excuse that Staggs will believe. ) [ Chris Naggs:] If you collect all the titles then Scooby Doo will come and stay with you forever. ( Chris Staggs eyes light up. ) [ Chris Staggs:] REALLY!? Why didn't you tell me this before? I am going to be like Mario on level 1.1 in Mario Brothers 1 and collect all the belts like they were coins. [ Chris Naggs:] Yep and this week you must try and keep your IWF International Title by defeating Desmon Baggs. [ Chris Staggs:] Wait...he is the one with the crazy bunny right? [ Chris Naggs:] Um yeah I suppose you could say that. [ Chris Staggs:] I want a crazy bunny. [ Chris Naggs:] You have Bubbles. [ Chris Staggs:] Um Naggsy, Bubbles is a chimp. He isn't a crazy bunny. [ Chris Naggs:] Uh anyway why in the world would you want a crazy bunny? [ Chris Staggs:] Isn't it obvious? [ Chris Naggs:] No. [ Chris Staggs:] Oh well a crazy bunny would be cool to have. I could have him like a guard dog ,but it would be a bunny. No one would mess with a crazy bunny cause it's crazy. [ Chris Naggs:] Right. [ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO! People will be like we better not mess with Staggs he has that crazy bunny. That crazy bunny will mess us up. Look at the crazy look in those beaded eyes of the crazy bunny. [ Chris Naggs:] Okay I get it. [ Chris Staggs:] Next the other guy will be like nah its just a bunny. Then BAM! The bunny's head start twitching and it starts running in circles and BAM! The crazy bunny jumps on him and tears him limb from limb. [ Chris Naggs:] Fine. Okay. [ Chris Staggs:] WOO! So when are we going to pick the crazy bunny up? [ Chris Naggs:] Huh? I never said we were going to get a bunny. [ Chris Staggs:] Crazy bunny. [ Chris Naggs:] Okay no crazy bunny. [ Chris Staggs:] Why not? What did I do wrong? [ Chris Naggs:] Nothing. [ Chris Staggs:] So you are punishing me for nothing!? WHY!? [ Chris Naggs:] We don't need a crazy bunny. [ Chris Staggs:] Yes we do. What if an evil carrot comes after us what will we do. ( Chris Naggs just stares at Chris Staggs as he just heard the dumb statement. ) [ Chris Staggs:] Naggsy!? [ Chris Naggs:] I don't think we need to worry about that ever happening. [ Chris Staggs:] You also said I would never have a chimp that can do the moonwalk. [ Chris Naggs:] Um yeah. Well I guess it couldn't hurt to go pick up a bunny from the pet store as long as you promise to feed it. [ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO! ( Chris Staggs breaks out in his happy dance aka the cabbage patch. Chris Naggs just stares. Chris Staggs finishes his dance. ) [ Chris Naggs:] You done? [ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO! [ Chris Naggs:] Okay. I think I saw a pet store two blocks down from here. [ Chris Staggs:] COOLIO! ( The trio leave the room and walk down the hall...hell you know how to get out of a hotel. They reach the sidewalk as they begins to walk toward the pet store. Chris Staggs looks at people as he passes. ) [ Chris Staggs:] Haha I'm getting a crazy bunny and you aren't. ( The people just give him a funny look and keep on walking. ) [ Chris Naggs:] I really wished you wouldn't do that. [ Chris Staggs:] You're right. [ Chris Naggs:] I am!? [ Chris Staggs:] Yeah we don't need to let everyone know about the crazy bunny that way if they try to hurt us then it will be a surprise to see the crazy bunny. [ Chris Naggs:] Um okay. [ Chris Staggs:] Are we there yet? [ Chris Naggs:] We are five feet from the hotel. [ Chris Staggs:] So are we there yet? [ Chris Naggs:] No...what about you... [ Chris Staggs:] *Interrupting* Sing for the moment ? [ Chris Naggs:] Um no, talk about your match. [ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO! Desmond Baggs you think are so cool cause you are the only one to have a crazy bunny. Well guess what? You aren't going to be the only cool one anymore. I am going to get a crazy bunny and it will be crazier than your bunny. Yeah you can try to say that I can't get another crazy bunny but I will. Anyway Desmond Baggs so you want my International Title. You don't want Scooby to stay with me do you? That is just plain whack. Yep I said it. You are whack. Yo momma is whack. OH! MOMMA INSULT! I RULE! BONUS POINTS! Ugh anyway Desmond Baggs you think you are going to come and beat me in the ring? That is like someone thinking Velma is hot. It just will never happen. It is like someone saying that Alf wasn't funny. You just can't do it. It is like saying that Fraggle Rock wasn't promoting drugs. It isn't hard to see. So now you want to go write in your journal like you are Doogie Howser. You think that makes you look smart. Though you are not a 14 year old white kid who is really smart and who is a doctor. No you are just another black guy with a crazy bunny that likes to write in your journal. I see it all the time. Man if Doogie Howser would have just known how popular he was with the blacks he would have been put on UPN. He would still be running though now he would be like a 30 year old doctor which wouldn't make it that good anymore. It would be kinda boring. Desmond Baggs you aren't the next Doogie Howser. You are more like his friend Vinny. You know the annoying guy that always interrupted him all the time and getting into trouble. Though Vinny always seemed to get out of trouble thanks to Doogie Howser. I don't see your Doogie Howser beside you. I don't think Dr. Orange will be your friend. Plus I don't think he is 14. Anyway I don't think he likes you. I don't think he likes anyone. Err back to you, Desmond Baggs you don't stand a chance against me. Not because I am better than you. No, I have something that your crazy bunny can't give you. I have the power of the Aluminum Title. Uh huh, you better be impressed. Everyone in the IW better be impressed cause now there is no stopping me from having Scooby stay with me. Desmond you are going to be the first guy to see how much stronger, faster, quicker, and smarter I am when I have the Aluminum Title. There is no more losing for me now that I have the Aluminum Title. Aluminum Man told me so. He said that he didn't need the Aluminum Title anymore cause he is an UNCERTIFIED SUPER HERO! He said that I need to be careful though with it cause I will not know my own power. I might throw you entire mile by accident. Now I don't know why you want the IWF International Title when you can try and win the Aluminum Title. Though look who I am talking to...a guy with a bunny and who tries to be the next Doogie Howser. That is reason enough for me not to lose to you. You aren't exactly smart are you? I mean come on you want a piece of gold over super human powers? Anyway you aren't going to get either title. There is nothing you or your crazy bunny can do about it. Also what is it with you and titles? This is the second straight week you have a title shot. I mean I use to only get titles shots but that was once a month. Your bunny must be popular with the guys that make the matches. Though you will lose just like I did last year. Except you will lose every week while I only lost once a month. Basically I am letting you know don't get your hopes up of winning cause you won't... you crazy bunny having, Doogie Howser wannabe. So now you know and knowing is half the battle. YOOOOOOOOOOOO JOE! ( Chris Naggs just stares at Chris Staggs ) [ Chris Naggs:] Um are you done? [ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO! [ Chris Naggs:] Good we are at the pet store. [ Chris Staggs:] YAY! ( Chris Staggs starts to do his cabbage patch dance but Naggs stops him. ) [ Chris Naggs:] Um let's just go in. [ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO! ( They walk in as Staggs does one quick cabbage patch. They enter the pet store. ) [ Chris Staggs:] Where are the crazy bunnies? [ Chris Naggs:] Over here I think. ( They start to walk over to the rabbit cages. ) [ Chris Staggs:] Let's see which one is crazy.
.............................. .............................. ............................. [ Chris Naggs:] Chris. [ Chris Staggs:] OH MY GOD!!! I CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHICH ONE IS THE CRAZY ONE!?! [ Chris Naggs:] Um okay. [ Chris Staggs:] I NEED HELP! [ Chris Naggs:] In more ways then one. [ Chris Staggs:] We need to get all three of them. [ Chris Naggs:] No. [ Chris Staggs:] But I can't tell which one is the crazy bunny. [ Chris Naggs:] So. [ Chris Staggs:] So...SO!? SO!? What if I choose the wrong one and we have just a plain bunny protecting us. We are sitting ducks. Though I don't mean that we will turn into ducks. [ Chris Naggs:] Right. [ Chris Staggs:] I promise I will look after them. [ Chris Naggs:] And feed them. [ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO! [ Chris Naggs:] Okay you can buy them. But don't dance. [ Chris Staggs:] I wasn't. I GOT A BUNNY I GOT THREE BUNNIES HEY HEY HEY! WOOO! See I was going to sing.. [ Chris Naggs:] Fine Whateva... [ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO! [ Chris Naggs:] Now go buy your bunnies. [ Chris Staggs:] Uh yeah. I forgot my Scooby Doo wallet. [ Chris Naggs:] FINE! ( Chris Naggs walks over to pay for the bunnies as Staggs bends down and looks at the bunnies. ) [ Chris Staggs:] I know one of you three are crazy and I am going to find it out. ( Chris Staggs straightens up and walks toward Chris Naggs.) ( END PROMO) |
