Today's Grimy Storms errr Damm Storms errr Grimy Damms Make Up Your Damn Mind Alert Level:

(Camera Fades In )

( We open up with Chris Staggs pouting with his arms folded and his lip out as he stares at Chris Naggs. Chris Naggs continues to read the newspaper and ignores Chris Staggs. Though Chris Staggs just continues to stare at Chris Naggs. Chris Naggs just turns to the next page. Chris Staggs keeps staring finally Chris Naggs becomes annoyed enough and looks at Chris Staggs. )

[ Chris Naggs:] WHAT!?

[ Chris Staggs:] HOW COULD YOU NOT TAPE MY GAME SHOW APPEARANCE!!!

[ Chris Naggs:] You were never on a game show.

[ Chris Staggs:] LIAR!!!!

[ Chris Naggs:] Chris, what are you talking about?

[ Chris Staggs:] Don't play dumb.

[ Chris Naggs:] Chris you were never on a game show.

[ Chris Staggs:] Then why did I just watch myself on the 20,000 dollar Pyramid then?

[ Chris Naggs:] Wait you mean that idiotic skit that Damm did to actually try his hand at comedy instead of sticking with his gimmick of being a serious with some cockiness type gimmick? The type of skits he does when he calls you two idiots but he apparently thinks he can't beat you with his repetitive retard calling so he does a idiotic skit of his own hoping that he can become better?

[ Chris Staggs:] Um don't try to confuse me, why didn't you tape my game show appearance.

[ Chris Naggs:] That wasn't you.

[ Chris Staggs:] Uh yeah it was and I won 1-0 WOOOO I RULE AT THE GAME!!!!

[ Chris Naggs:] That was Damm and Grimes pretending to be you.

[ Chris Staggs:] GET OUT OF TOWN! But they said Grady and Staggs.

[ Chris Naggs:] I know but Grimes and Damm were pretending to be you two.

[ Chris Staggs:] Are you sure?

[ Chris Naggs:] Yes, you are not nearly seven foot tall with long hair with some gray in it and Grady doesn't have his face painted like another Chaos.

[ Chris Staggs:] Yeah I thought Grady having his face painted was a little weird.

[ Chris Naggs:] So that wasn't you.

[ Chris Staggs:] So Chris D-Word and Jakob Grimes were trying to be us again? This is about the third time they tried to be us. We must be COOL!

[ Chris Naggs:] Yeah, and he calls your stuff stale...this is the third fucking time he did a skit trying to insult your intelligence.

[ Chris Staggs:] So I didn't win any money?

[ Chris Naggs:] I'm afraid not.

[ Chris Staggs:] That was mean of Damm to get my hopes up like that.

[ Chris Naggs:] Ah forget it.

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!

( Just then the phone rings )

[ Chris Staggs:] I GOT IT!!! I GOT IT!!!

( Chris Staggs knocks Chris Naggs out of the way and answers the phone. )

[ Chris Staggs:] HI!

[ Tommy Grady:] DUDE!

[ Chris Staggs:] Yes I am.

[ Tommy Grady:] It's me Tommy Grady.

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!

[ Tommy Grady:] Dude we were on a game show. I don't remember it, do you?

[ Chris Staggs:] Naggsy told me it wasn't us. It was Chris D-Word and Jakob Grimes.

[ Tommy Grady:] AGAIN!?

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!

[ Tommy Grady:] I wish they would quit it, they are very poor actors.

[ Chris Staggs:] Tru dat. Remember Damm's Scooby skit.

[ Tommy Grady:] Yeah, that was like Scrappy Doo and What's New Scooby Doo all rolled up into one..

[ Chris Staggs:] I know he like insulted the whole cast of Scooby Doo with that skit.

[ Tommy Grady:] So true, I wouldn't be surprised if the gang showed up and kicked his butt.

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO just like we are going to do.

[ Tommy Grady:] Yeah, then we are going be again for the gang.

[ Chris Staggs:] Yeah, we will face them twice don't we?

[ Tommy Grady:] Though I hope they come out dressed like us.

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO, that could be confusing.

[ Tommy Grady:] Maybe we should where name tags just incase.

[ Chris Staggs:] Wait I know, you will be the Tommy Grady not wearing the face paint and I will be the guy that has short hair and isn't seven foot tall.

[ Tommy Grady:] OH YEAH! I saw Grimes and was thinking why did I put face paint of. I figure I just returned from playing army.

[ Chris Staggs:] You played army without me?

[ Tommy Grady:] Yeah, you were at the dam.

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!

[ Tommy Grady:] I also got some notes from Scooby Doo, we are going to find the mystery opponent guy.

[ Chris Staggs:] YES! WOO!

[ Tommy Grady:] I have wrote in my handy dandy notebook!!

[ Chris Staggs:] Blue crayon?

[ Tommy Grady:] OF COURSE!

[ Chris Staggs:] Tomorrow is going to be so cool.

[ Tommy Grady:] Yeah, hey I gotta go Everage said we are fixing to do a promo, peace.

[ Chris Staggs:] You too!? Cool, peace.

( Chris Staggs hangs up the phone. )

[ Chris Naggs:] Great you used some of your promo with small talk.

[ Chris Staggs:] Grimes does it throughout most of his promos.

[ Chris Naggs:] You are not Grimes.

[ Chris Staggs:] Yeah I don't have my face painted. Anyway how come we don't get to produce 4 tapes. 

[ Chris Naggs:] You want to bore the world like the others?

[ Chris Staggs:] No.

[ Chris Naggs:] Then don't make 2, 3, or 4 part promos.

[ Chris Staggs:] Fine. So can we do our version of MTV Cribs?

[ Chris Naggs:] We are in a hotel room. This isn't even your crib.

[ Chris Staggs:] How come other people get to stay at there house like Grimes?

[ Chris Naggs:] Cause they own private jets.

[ Chris Staggs:] Why can't we buy a private jet?

[ Chris Naggs:] You keep spending your pay check on Scooby Doo stuff, Sesame Street stuff, or M&Ms.

[ Chris Staggs:] Oh yeah. Well um can we watch my dream?

[ Chris Naggs:] What?

[ Chris Staggs:] Oops. I forgot Grimes didn't tell me where to get the video camera to tape my dreams.

[ Chris Naggs:] Chris why don't you just go ahead and talk about the matches.

[ Chris Staggs:] Wasn't that what we were doing?

[ Chris Naggs:] Um well it like in your contract that you have to talk about your opponents for at least 20 minutes.

[ Chris Staggs:] Grimes only did it once.

[ Chris Naggs:] Quit being like GRIMES DAMN IT!

[ Chris Staggs:] Okay.

[ Chris Naggs:] Thank you.

[ Chris Staggs:] Only if Damm and Grimes quit trying to be like us. I know Grady and I are cool but this is embarrassing. Also I don't know if you know it but you make us look a little stupid. I mean I never say ra-ra-ra tard. Plus I would have gotten more than one right. I am not stupid you know. Though I am a little bummed that you took down your alert level. I didn't mean to make you look stupid by telling you that Warren is more dangerous than Corky. You could have used someone like um Special Ed. He isn't dangerous at all. Anyway Chris D-Word you know I might not be the smartest guy in the IW but I noticed that you say one thing against me and then go and do it. You say my videos are old and I do the same thing over and over. Well one thing I don't think I been to the Hoover Dam twice or anything like that. Though you have done at least two skits trying to act like us. Which like I said I understand everyone wants to be cool like us but don't do it every other week. I mean look at Scooby they don't go to a haunted house every week. No they go to a haunted carnival or a haunted harbor. Try to steal a page from Scooby and people might actually think you are cool. Just a little pointers for ya there. Though it don't matter how cool you are cause no one is going to go for a world full of grimy damms. Sorry it had to be said. Also why do you make fun of Grady and I being friends. It helps in tag team matches. I don't know if I am the only one but I am getting to feeling that Grimes doesn't like you much Damm. I mean he seemed pretty mean to you. Though he didn't call you a idiot like he called me, but he didn't want you much in his COOL crib. Though I may be the only one to see that but I don't think I am. I believe Grady said something along the same lines. Now Grimes what makes you think I want to be a stand up comedian? I don't think I try to tell jokes. I mean I have my 101 Jokes book I can breakout and read you some ,but I mean I like getting paid to play. Plus standing up in front of a lot of people makes me a little nervous so standing alone on stage isn't one of my dreams and you would know that if you just sent me that camera that could tape my dreams. Also Grimes I hate to break it to you but I seen morons that weigh more than 221 pounds.  Grimes are you sure you know who I am cause you made some claims about me that has nothing to do with me. I am Chris Staggs. I am one half the IWF Tag Team champions. You know the guy with the hat. Are you straight now who I am? Okay good now you want embarrass yourself by calling someone else Chris Staggs. Good now that we got that straight, you are not take Grady and my world. Moving on to Sex & Violence again another promo and the more I begin to wonder if they want to take my world. He calls himself God, but I know he isn't God cause God has a white beard and is holding a lighting bolt as a walking cane. The guy doesn't have a white beard. He kinda resembles a little bit of Cluck Cluck. Though Cluck Cluck seems more interesting then this guy. Though this guy IS MEAN! He gave the kid in the wheelchair a cold shoulder. HE IS SOOOO EVIL! Though Grady and I will let that wheel chair kid get up and dance on him. Yeah that would be so cool.  I wonder though why the guy wants to be in the IW? He has complained about since he signed up. Um you didn't have to sign up for it. Geez some people are just stupid. He talks about how great he is but he just shows up his boring daily routine. Yeah Real World is soooooo seven years ago. It stopped being enjoyable after Seattle and you know it. Unlike my brother JD who wants me to just hand him the Tag Team Titles. Well you know what NO WAY, no how, not today mister. You gave me the National title but I been telling you the last three times that I gave you the top bunk, the board game, not to mention the very cool nickname JDiggity. So brother keep on moving on. By the way I know you are playing when you call me idiot. I know that is your nickname for me. Its all coo.  Then we have the 404 type team that says that I want to hand over my world. You are lying. I never said that. I mean I don't think I said. Wait I didn't say it. I think you are just making that up. As for my acid trip. Umm why would I want to take a trip to acid. Wouldn't acid burn your skin off and you would be skeleton? So I believe that you are confusing me with someone else. As for the two movements where are you? Did you give up after I told you that your movements were dumb? If you did good cause your ideas were stupid. The Japanese Buttplugs will not go over in certain countries. The two guys that want to kids standing out in the rain need to get over it. It will never happen as long as Grady and I have control of the world. The Torettos the rapping tacos or whatever um yeah move on. The guys that want hawks as kings I hope someone drives over your legs.  Oh yeah as for the Chaos guy um I don't think the guy you keep talking about is in the match. I mean he could be on the other special team but I don't think he is one of them. So um yeah sorry that you are in the match when you just want that one guy. As for the Evil Russian I told you twice already no M&Ms period. I am not going to share with you and that is final. The Jett and Levine guy I believe they got lost or something. Should we send out a search party for them? On a good note I don't think Johnny O. is going to show. I don't think Grady and I will have to hide from him with his abuse. That is something to look forward too. I am just glad I am finished talk cause I am starting to feel dizzy. This is way too much talk for one person. Damm must be two men in one. Which would be strange to be two men with one body. Nevermind. Man I see why Damm takes pauses to name titles of what he is going to say. I am almost out of breath talking this long.

( Chris Naggs just stares at Chris Staggs )

[ Chris Naggs:] Sometimes I wished we would have kept the narrator.

[ Chris Staggs:] Remember they kept quitting on us.

[ Chris Naggs:] Yeah.

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!

( Chris Staggs grabs the camera man now and lead him toward his bed room )

[ Chris Staggs:] WELCOME TO MY CRIB!

[ Chris Naggs:] No way, no how. You are not doing this.

[ Chris Staggs:] Right here you see the television remote is chained to the night stand. That way I don't lose the remote. It is very handy.

[ Chris Naggs:] God, is this a joke you are playing on me?

[ Chris Staggs:] Also my television is chained down so it want be stolen.

[ Chris Naggs:] This is a damn hotel room, Chris.

[ Chris Staggs:] FINALLY! THE BEST THING IN MY CRIB!!!! WATCH THIS!

( Chris Staggs hops on the bed and grabs a quarter off the nightstand and puts the quarter in a change box as the best starts shaking )

[ Chris Staggs:] MMMMMY BBBEEEEEDDDD VVVVVVVVVIBBBBBBBRRRRATTTEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

[ Chris Naggs:] You see Damm who pretending to be someone is idiotic? I hope so.

( Chris Naggs just then grabs the camera )

( END PROMO)

[ Chris Staggs:] That wasn't nice. They didn't get to see my swimming pool outside.

( I SAID END PROMO)