Exodus: Existence
Four corners Showtime Title Number One Contendership: Last Man Standing rules (no winning by DQ, pin or a submission)
Tim Tewolde .vs. "Extreme" Jeff Markovich .vs. Chris Staggs .vs. "Slick" Richard Rick
Is a 4 corner Last Man Standing match going to lead to better thing? God, lets hope so
Does Tim Tewolde, Jeff Markovich, or Richard Rick have any common sense? Fuck No
Does Tim Tewolde, Jeff Markovich, or Richard Rick ever learn? It appears they don't
Is Chris Staggs going to be the next Showtime Champ? You better believe it
How is the match going to end? Domination by Chris Staggs
ǧ[ Well, Well, Well it seems that a third of the competition has figured out not to try fighting fate. While the other two, Tim Tewolde and Jeff Markovich, seem to be brain dead or they are really enjoy pain. If it is the latter believe me Chris Staggs would be more then happy to oblige. "Slick" Rick Richard on the other hand, has fled to another country. The guy lays one promo and the he has a idea, the first in years, he has no chance so he should just as well shut the hell up before he pisses off Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs and gets a beating he will never forget. Unlike "Slick" Rick Richard, the idea hasn't reach Jeff and Tim tiny little brain. So they continue to cut pointless promos making their idiotic and childish comebacks. While trying to insult Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs. All this does is show that they are concerned, which they should be, that Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs is going to beat them till they are out cold on the floor. I mean it seems since Chris's last promo Jeff and Tim have spent the whole time cutting idiotic promos which have nothing to do with anything. While sneaking in petty and cheap shots along the way. I am sure they are now laying in bed with an empty bottle of aspirin next to their head while they try to stop their brain from hurting. They are not use to do that much thinking in a total of two days. While "Slick" Rick Richard is somewhere balled up in the fidel position. But if someway he gets the courage and he does decide to show up he will have the same fate as the other two that is a pain and more pain at the hands of Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs. I am sure they have seen the damage Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs can do to you. They now that they have no chance but if they want to try to use the brain cells they have left and come out with new boring, dull, and idiotic promo to try and somehow play mind games with Chris Staggs. Go on ahead. It won't work. I mean we are talking about three guys who have the combined IQ of a rock trying to match wits with someone like Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs. Chris Staggs has more skill and talent then all three of you combined. I mean come on all three of you know that Chris Staggs is going to face the winner of Roma and Broadway for the title. Why keep on trying. IT's useless. All this match is a warmup for the Showtime Title Match. Kramer knows that this match isn't going change the match for Adrenaline Staggs vs. Broadway or Soma. That is another reason he booked it I man all Staggs has to do is show up and beat three other guys down till they can't meet a ten count. That is no sweat when it comes to it, especially with the three he is facing. But they are facing one of the best the SWF has to offer ]ǧ
ǧ[Tim Tewolde I am sorry that Chris and I ever got you to talk. Now it appears that your senseless promos keeps coming and coming. I mean he talks and talks with outrageous promos with gang wars, British scientist, and Richard Simmons. I mean what the fuck? Tim you come out with the a second promo and say the reason Staggs keeps on insulting you is because he is scared? Yeah that's it. I mean Chris is only stating the oblivious but you can't get in check with reality. Hell most of the American fan can understand it, even if they had graduated from the United States so called " Education system", what a joke. Hey wait.......I am from the US, Damnit. Ah, anyway Tim you want to continue and leave in your own little make-believe world that you are going to come out on top after the dust has settled this Sunday. Then go on ahead, keep on believing, all that is going to do is leave you depressed and disappointed just like "Slick" Rick Richards is right now. Tim come on you can't be that much out of reach of reality can you? I mean you can actually think you are better then Staggs. You can actually think you have a shot at winning. You can actually have any common sense. Tim Tewolde, do us favor now and before you go out and cut another brain numbing promo please try to realize this simple thing......YOU HAVE NO TALENT. An if you do that the public will be spared from another promo of yours. ]ǧ
ǧ[ "Slick" Rick Richards, seems to have gotten the point unlike two other rejects So he has decided to shut the hell up and not risk getting crippled by the hands of Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs. He doesn't want to hurt his head in trying to outsmart and outwit Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs. He knows it isn't possible. "Slick" Rick Richard I mean I give you credit at least you have enough of a brain to get it through to you. While the other are another story. But its not like Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs will take it lightly on you though. He is still going to beat you senseless, wait that would be too quick and you would still be on your feet. "Slick" Rick Richards if you still think that Chris Staggs will be push over then go on ahead till the match is over and you are being taken to the nearest hospital also seems that you have figured out that Chris "the Main Eventer" Staggs isn't a push-over. Also that if you didn't shut up you would end up in the nearest hospital. Exodus: Existence you have chance of winning why show up. If you somehow think you can survive five minutes in the ring with Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs, don't kid yourself. You know that Chris will become the number contender for the title, but Tim Tewolde hasn't. You will not be a factor in the outcome. As Chris Staggs will defeat you with ease like he will do that to the other two. "Slick" Rick Richards you need to stay where you are at right now and save yourself the beating and suffering that you will get if you show up Sunday night. If you get this point you might actually have some sense after all ,but it is asking too much for your brain and you will end up at Madison Square Garden. While "Extreme" Jeff Markovich still thinks he going to win. Rick,. your chance of the victory Sunday Night. Is about the same chance as Jeff no being a certified retard.. Staggs will prove that he is a great Sunday night at Exodus: Existence ]ǧ
ǧ[ "Extreme" Jeff Markovich, will you ever shut up? I mean your like Tim's mother you keep putting out and putting out some more. Jeff, I take it you weren't the brightest of your family. I take it that you haven't been same since that night you camped out with your dog. I mean come Jeff do you actually believe half the shit you continue to spew out. I mean Jeff, can you really look at yourself in the mirror and believe what you are saying cause I can't and I don't' think the wrestling fans can't either. Everyone except you and Tim know that I have the match in the bag. You can talk and talk till you die but the fact still is you don't have a chance when you step into the ring with Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs. Jeff you still are a few fries short of a happy meal. Cause you actually called Tim Tewolde, great and went as far as wrestling great. I mean I know you have taking you bumps and bruises but I didn't know you where dropped on your head that many times. Its either that or your have lost any bit of knowledge you had. You also thought it was impressive that I went so called "toe-to-toe" with Jason Rothchild. That isn't an accomplishment. Jason Rothchild hasn't done anything in the SWF What the hell with you and thinking average wrestlers are greats? I mean is it cause you lack so much ability, talent, and knowledge that even the most mediocre wrestler looks like a legend. If that is the truth I must be a damn god to you. Jeff, I am better then you three. You don't get that none of you have a chance of beating me. You don't get that you like the other two will wind up at the nearest hospital. . Staggs is the best damn wrestler in the match and most extreme in the match too. Just ask Joey Ca$h who hasn't said a damn word since his near crippling experience. "Extreme" Jeff Markovich you must not think Chris Staggs isn't capable of taking all three of you out just like that. You would have taken my point like your partner did and shut the hell up. But you didn't and for that you will wind up laid out next to Rick and Tim. . "Extreme" Jeff Markovich you have as much chance of being the number one contender as you have of Tim being capable of making it through a promo without making a idiotic comment. That isn't much of a chance for you is it now? "Extreme" Jeff Markovich you don't have the talent that Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs has to win the 4-Way Last Man Standing match. ]ǧ
ǧ[ So come this Sunday Night when these wrestlers try to take on Staggs with all their might and wind up face down on the canvas, just remember that Staggs has more skill, ability, intelligence, endurance, and almost everything then all three of you put together. Which only means five words for Chris Staggs "Showtime Title Number One Contender" . Now that is out of the way there are only three words left..... ROLL THE PROMO ]ǧ
ǧ[ Camera opens up with a shoot of a silver Lexus on the side of the road in a rough part of New York as you see Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs and Greg The Perky T.G.I. Friday waiter sitting on the curb of the sidewalk as Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs ends his call on the cell. As camera crew crosses the road. Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs looks up and can't believe they are going to ask Chris for an interview at the point and time. ]ǧ
¤¤[ Chris "the Main Eventer" Staggs ]¤¤ What the hell is wrong with you? Can't you see we are stranded. But the SWF camera crew doesn't care they just want an interview. While I guess while we wait on Triple A, I can cut one for you.
¤¤[ Greg The Perky T.G.I. Friday's waiter ]¤¤ I hope they get here soon, I don't like the looks of this place
¤¤[ Chris "the Main Eventer" Staggs ]¤¤ You just haven't been around the projects before
¤¤[ Greg The Perky T.G.I. Friday's waiter ]¤¤ How many times have you been here
¤¤[ Chris "the Main Eventer" Staggs ]¤¤ Well.........actually none, but quit whining
¤¤[ Greg The Perky T.G.I. Friday's waiter ]¤¤ Well.......
¤¤[ Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs ]¤¤ Anyways, let's talk about my upcoming four way last man standing match at Exodus. First off lets talk about Tim Tewolde, the guy who first couldn't talk now the guy that can't stop talking. I mean the guy seems to be thick headed as hell and has not realized that he has a very slim chance of winning. He now continues to try and make boring and old insults at Chris Staggs. Example " 3 inches oh wait you meant his actual height" Yeah that hasn't ever been used before. I mean come on Tim, if you are going to try and insult me use some new material. Wait I bet that took you about a week to think up didn't it? . Tim you haven't been heard from for weeks now and then you come out with the two dumbest promo I have ver seen in my wrestling. I think it would have been better that you had never opened your mouth. You did nothing to deserve a shot. All you did was lose match after match. How the hell am I suppose think you are something when all you do is get pinned. I mean Tim Tewolde do you actually think you have a chance of beating me? You don't.. You know it, I know it, and soon the rest of the world knows it. Well the ones that buy the pay per view will. You are just another wannabe main eventer who tries to make his name from beating Chris Staggs. Tim, you are facing one of the best the SWF has to offer and you still think you have a chance you are more messed up then Jeff Markovich friends. Tim lets face the facts you have little talent, little skills, and no mic skills to boot
¤¤[ Greg The Perky T.G.I. Friday's waiter ]¤¤ Ummm that guy over there keeps staring at me
¤¤[ Chris "the Main Eventer" Staggs ]¤¤ Whatever
¤¤[ Greg The Perky T.G.I. Friday's waiter ]¤¤ He has been doing it since we been here.
¤¤[ Chris "the Main Eventer" Staggs ]¤¤ Whatever, he is probably a fan
ǧ[ Just then the robber looking guy walks over to Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs and Greg The Perky T.G.I. Friday's waiter and reaches in his pocket. ]ǧ
¤¤[ The Robber ]¤¤ Yo, richie biatch gimmie yo dough
¤¤[ Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs ]¤¤ Huh?! Oh you want a autograph
¤¤[ The Robber ]¤¤ Naw, foo gimmie yo dough
¤¤[ Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs ]¤¤ Sorry I don't have any food for you, I am sure their is a soup kitchen near here
¤¤[ The Robber ]¤¤ Listen biatch befo I busta cap in ya
¤¤[ Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs ]¤¤ Isn't he a rapper?
¤¤[ The Robber ]¤¤ AGH!, yo thiz iz to much shit for some dough.
¤¤[ Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs ]¤¤ Oh dough,
¤¤[ The Robber ]¤¤ Ya
¤¤[ Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs ]¤¤ There is a super market down the block.
ǧ[ Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs points toward the direction o supermarket as the guy just throws his hand up in disgust and walks off the other way . ]ǧ
¤¤[ Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs ]¤¤ Hmm, guess he didn't need the dough after all.
ǧ[ Greg The Perky T.G.I. Waiter rolls his eyes and looks at Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs ]ǧ
¤¤[ Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs ]¤¤ What? Anyway "Slick" Rick Richard calls me a push-over then disappear never to be heard from again. That is always how it always happens. I mean how do you ever conjure up the idea that I will be a push-over? I am not the one who is hiding am I? I know you are scared of being knocked out in the ring. And you have every right to be. Who would think I would be a piece of cake, a walk in the park? A brain dead idiot with a death weight You want to continue to think that way. It is fine by me cause that will just give me a whole lot more motivation for knocking you out for the ten count. "Slick" Rick Richard you can hide all this week cause when you show up Sunday Night there will be no more hiding. After I defeat you three misfit at Exodus:Existence for the Number One Contendership, I will continue on to the title match and so on till I reach my ultimate goal SWF Heavyweight Title.. "Slick" Rick Richards you actually think you are something in the SWF? All you are is a bottom rung in the ladder of success You have beaten Tim Tewolde, we all know how retarded that he is and you defeat "Sick" Nick Jackson who hasn't won a match since I don't know when! Wow you deserve a pat on the back. See you haven't been tested the way I will test you Sunday Night. "Slick" Rick Richard Sunday Night will be the first of many losses for you. You better get use to it
¤¤[ Greg The Perky T.G.I. Friday's Waiter ]¤¤ Umm, how long did they say it would be?
¤¤[ Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs ]¤¤ I don't know, quit whining. Anyways let's talk about the most annoying man of the match that is Extreme" Jeff Markovich. The guy keeps putting out promos. In those promos he replays my on promos. What the fuck I have a short-term memory. I mean I understand repeating Rick's comments to him cause he probably doesn't remember them. Come on Jeff, do you actually think you can beat me hell a damn MTV VJ kicked your ass. Sure they can be mean and vicious like all VJs are. You think your nuts hurt right now. When I am done with you. Your nuts will be the least of your problems. Hell, Jeff you keep going on the shows and traveling. I don't think you have had time to train for me or the other. You know I am the main factor in the entire match. You know to win the match he will have to use all your abilities, both of them, with help from the others to take me out. I mean I know you are from Canada. I knew I liked something about him. Even though you are from Montreal. I just can't figure how person so idiotic and useless could come from Canada. You give Canada a bad name. Anyway you need to take some lesson from your little buddy "Slick" Rick Richards and shut the hell up before you say something you are going to regret.. . What the hell is your problem? But don't get me wrong Jeff you don't have any wrestling talent and that is why you will have the fate of the other two. I mean sure you could say that you won't have any trouble with Tim Tewolde but that is cause he is a damn retard who barely able to walk and talk at the same time much less knock anyone out. I ,on the other hand, am on another level then you two and if you continue to doubt you will not doubt any longer after Sunday Night as I become the Number One Contender for the Showtime Title. "Extreme" Jeff Markovich do you actually think that you are better me? Do you think you can actually hang with me. You can't actually think that can you. Are you that retarded. I mean come on you are talking about 110% Pure Canadian Excellence. While you along with the others are just a bunch of average wrestlers. Come on you have no chance whatsoever against me. Why are you getting your hopes up. How many time do I have to tell you three before you get it through your head that you will only get disappointed. Get it through your thick heads. YOU ARE GOING TO LOSE
ǧ[ Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs finishes his sentence as Greg The Perky T.G.I. Friday's Waiter spots to look like a gang walking toward them as he nudges Chris Staggs to look at him ]ǧ
¤¤[ Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs ]¤¤ Looks like one of my many fan clubs have came to see me............Before I talk to them I will let Tim, Rick, and Jeff know the reason they are going to lose that is cause........
I AM THE BEST DAMN TECHNICAL WRESTLER -- PERIOD
ǧ[ Greg The Perky T.G.I. Friday's Waiter look stands up and walks to the Lexus and gets into the car as Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs looks at the gang ]ǧ
¤¤[ Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs]¤¤ Hmmm, damn I think I need to start screening my fan clubs.....
¤¤[ The Gang Member ]¤¤ Sir, do you need any help?
¤¤[ Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs ]¤¤ Oh, no thanks, Triple A is coming......
¤¤[ The Gang Member ]¤¤ What's up with that guy in the car?
¤¤[ Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs ]¤¤ He's weird...
ǧ[ Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs stands up as you see Triple A arriving as the camera pans to the Lexus as you see Greg The Perky T.G.I. Waiter watching the so called gang walk down the sidewalk. ]ǧ
ǧ[ Camera fades black ]ǧ
SEE NEVER JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COLOR.......OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT
¤¤[ Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs ]¤¤ What an idiot.......Its never judge a book by its cover, Damn where can you find good help these days
