Did I miss the memo last Sunday Night or something? I didn't know it was attack Chris Staggs night. Fuck it seems like half the roster attacked Chris Staggs. Hell Chris Staggs was attacked more than a faggot in an Eminem song. Then to top it all off Chris Staggs and Tommy Grady lose the tag team titles. Well fuck the tag team titles. The tag division is on its deathbed. It will be dead for the third time this era. Oh well anyway you had Johnny O with his gimmicked out wrestler attack Chris Staggs. Really Johnny O. what is next? You going to bring in the Big Bad Bishop and you can be Altar Boy Johnny O. It will be just like your childhood. Anyway then we had Glore now JD Lawson's campaign manager spend all night trying to hurt Chris Staggs. He wanted Chris Staggs to stop bugging JD Lawson. He finally attacked Chris Staggs after the end of the show after Chris Staggs lost the tag team titles. I mean fuck how the hell was Chris Staggs suppose to be in any type of shape to retain the SWF World Tag Team titles? Now I don't know what is sadder that Pete Ebdon is proud to be tag champion of a two team division or that he has memorized all the titles that he has won. I bet you were the guy who kept all the stats for all the sports in high school. I am glad that you have won all those titles. Really I mean it who wouldn't be proud to count three titles that you either dropped down to beat some jobber or where given. John Doe held the hardcore television title and Zack Olson held the television. Who couldn't win the titles from them? Chris Staggs could be grand slam champion if he wanted to but Chris Staggs rather be world champion instead of some defunct hardcore champion. Fuck off Pete you say you have been so many champions. That only means that you have lost the titles many times.  Unlike Chris Staggs who held the SWF Television for over a good four months, the SWF World title for two months, and the tag team titles twice for two months.  I don't know why I am wasting my time on Pete Ebdon anyway. It is not like he is a threat to the SWF National Title. The title he supposedly made famous. This was the title that he was going to win. Too bad that TRENT PAUL upset you. So now Pete Ebdon have fun with Johnny O., dead puppies, and other bad gimmicked angles are abound for you this month.

So Jeff Harris brought the SWF down so low that the owner of the SWF had to lace the boots back up to go and try to give the shot in the arm. Jimmy Luciano had to come back out of semi-retirement. We may forget about his brief stint in the GWA as Ranma's tag partner. Boy wasn't that captivating. They had so many things in common. They had uh um and then you had uh. Fuck it was the GWA that says enough about that doesn't it? Anyway Jimmy Luciano, I look at you and Chris and I can't help but see a familiarity between you two. Well we all know that you aren't as dumb as Chris as ...wait you owned a company that had Jeff Harris as the SWF World Champion. I gotta question your logic their Jimmy. Enough with the Jeff Harris jokes. Though they are classic, but Jimmy Luciano it seems that both Chris Staggs and you have something in common that isn't good. You both can't ever win the big match. Chris Staggs always falls short of the SWF World Title and you well never wore the FWF World Heavyweight Title around your waist. Your incredible pushes always fell just a little short. Now Jimmy Luciano you come back to the SWF to give the SWF "a shot in arm" so you decide to attack Chris Staggs a main fixture in the SWF for over one in half years. He had been the SWF longer than anyone else. He has helped the SWF survived just like you helped the SWF survive. See Jimmy, you two are similar ,but then again you two are very different. The first thing is your style. Really Jimmy your style is like 10 through 7 on TRL. You are the kind of guy that wants to act hard yet the closest you ever got to the ghetto was when you got lost that one time and had to stop and ask directions. Chris Staggs doesn't act hard. Oh but FO SHO! Fuck a cheesy catch phrase. You are right I mean I guess Chris Staggs could be using some three-word phrase to suggest his status in the federation. Oh and Jimmy that cheesy catch phrase was the most over thing in the SWF since McGruff the Ass Dog. So Jimmy come on tell me to fuck off. Say I am moronic narrator.

Ah, much better.  Jimmy Luciano, you think you can walk back in and own the place. You must think you are just another JD Lawson. Damn Chris Staggs beat the unstoppable JD Lawson. So go ahead Jimmy, call yourself unstoppable, but the traffic light is turning red as we speak.  Chris Staggs has knocked down the big names through his stupidity. Chris Staggs has done it longer than anyone in the SWF this era. So Jimmy I won't get you started. Though I suggest you start getting yourself started before Sunday. When this Sunday rolls around you better hope that brief stint with the goth fags was enough to knock off the ring rust. After all Chris Staggs is the SWF National Champion for some reason. I guess Jimmy you will find that reason else. Oh and this Sunday, Chris Staggs will upstage you, BITCH.  

Point One: Pete Ebdon is a fucking idiot.

Point Two: The SWF Tag Team Titles will be dead in a month.

Point Three: Jimmy Luciano owns a rhyming dictionary.

Point Four: Jimmy Luciano is going to realize why Chris Staggs has been given title shots.