[ Chris Staggs:] Dude we need to hurry up.

[ Chris Naggs:] Why?

[ Chris Staggs:] It is getting close..

[ Chris Naggs:] Close to what?

[ Chris Staggs:] HAMMER TIME!!!

[ Chris Naggs:] Don't remind me.

[ Chris Staggs:] Then you will forget.

[ Chris Naggs:] That isn't wha....nevermind

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!!!!

... Random Thoughts On The Future ...

This week is a week for Chris Staggs to relax. To kick back and have fun. Sure the fun he is into is that on the level of Blue Clues and Scooby Doo ,but nonetheless Chris Staggs has an easy week. Why? Well Chris Staggs was knocked out of the Remembrance tourney and now has to face a lackey. Yeah, a lackey. That is all Nicholas Jaxx is. He lost to Chris Naggs and Greg The Perky T.G.I. Friday's Waiter. What is next Pete? Are you going to tag with your wife after Jaxx and you screw up? Anyway I don't even know why I even bother wasting my breath. Pete Ebdon and Nicholas Jaxx are stale. I have seen year old crackers not as stale as you two. They haven't changed since last summer. They just redo the same stuff over and over. Oh I am the greatest. I am better than you. I contradict myself. Whoop dee freakin' doo. JD Lawson, next week is our judgment day. You will finally get to stop Chris Staggs "stalking" as you like to call it. I just call it niceness. JD, you are a paranoid person aren't ya?  Oh well, your paranoia may cost you the SWF National title. Yeah, now let us talk about Mr. Jaxx.

...Random Thoughts On Nicholas Jaxx...

What is there left to say? Pete and Nicholas can't come up with anything new or different. They say the same thing over and over again. They act like they are great yet they run like bitches once they see they can't win. Nicholas Jaxx you might be different seeing as you haven't won a match in the SWF and you are still here. Though that is because of one reason...Pete Ebdon. Funny you two go everywhere together. Pete Ebdon runs to a new home and two weeks later you show up to become a fun jobber. Yeah that is great. Nicholas Jaxx you haven't proven shit. You want to say oh Chris Staggs is stupid? Chris Staggs sucks. He can't wrestle. He can't do that and he can't do this, yet week in and week out he defeats the SWF roster. Chris Staggs proves all the nay sayers wrong. You would think after seven months someone somewhere would come up with something the slightest bit different. They continue to harp on Chris Staggs's intelligence. So fucking what. He is stupid. Does the SWF roster like to state obvious or what? Anyway Nicholas, what is up? Has Pete not FedEx your script yet? The material to use on Chris Staggs hasn't arrived? You don't need it for this match. You can save it for next weeks defeat. That way you can down fighting. Nicholas Jaxx, keep up the perverted fourteen year old jokes. Yeah that is a great way to actually win a match. The SWF just loves to push people with that gimmick. Though of course they are pushing them on the train tracks in front of a train. Hey maybe you can jump ship to the IWF and join up with Kyle Broadway. That way you two can trade jack-off jokes. Yeah that will drive the IWF deeper into the hole they were in.  Anyway Jaxx, maybe you should be quiet this week. After all you will not add anything that Pete Ebdon hasn't said in his Chris Staggs obsessed rant from his last two promos. Hey Pete you are in an Iron Man match with Andrew Hurley this week.  So Nicholas Jaxx, I guess you are will suffer another loss. Oh well you are use to being on your back...OH!!!! I GOT YOU!!!! HAHAHAHAH!!! I RULE!!!!! I AM SO GREAT!!!! LOOK AT ME!!! I AM NICHOLAS JAXX!!! I USE INSULTING MYSELF FOR COMEDY!!! I AM SO ORIGINAL!!! Yeah and Chris Staggs is going to win a spelling bee. Nicholas, don't hold your breath on winning the SWF Tag Team Titles with Pete Ebdon. By the way Nicholas Jaxx, it might be easier for you to talk if you take Pete Ebdon's nuts off your chin. We might be able to understand you.

... Summing It Up ...

Basically...Chris Staggs will win.

[ Chris Naggs:] That about sums it up.

[ Chris Staggs:] HAMMER TIME!!!

[ Chris Naggs:] Quit it.

[ Chris Staggs:] HAMMER TIME!!!

[ Chris Naggs:] Quit or no cookie.

[ Chris Staggs:] COOKIE TIME!!!

[ Chris Naggs:] Oh just roll the promo.

[ Chris Staggs:] YAY!!!

( Camera opens up in a studio as we see MC Hammer sitting waiting for Chris Staggs and Chris Naggs to get there. Just then Chris Staggs and Chris Naggs walk in as MC Hammer gets up and walks over to them. Chris Staggs is grinning ear to ear. )

[ Chris Staggs:] HAMMER TIME!!!

[ MC Hammer:] Uh yeah.

[ Chris Staggs:] You ready to be Too Legit to Quit?

[ MC Hammer:] Do I have a choice?

[ Chris Staggs:] Nope. Anyway we got you a guy to do a duet with.

[ MC Hammer:] Who?

( Chris Staggs motions as a guy walks in....TITO JACKSON!!!!)

[ Chris Staggs:] Now we FO SHIZZLE MY NIZZLE!!!! WOOOOOOOO!!!!

[ MC Hammer:] Is he serious?

[ Chris Naggs:] Sadly yes...

[ Chris Staggs:] Here is the first part of the song. Hammer. Listen to Tito sing it.

[ Tito Jackson:]

Hammer, Where Are You? We got some new songs to do now.
Hammer, Where Are You? We need some music from you now.
Come on Hammer, I see you... pretending you got a religion
But you're not fooling me, cause I can see, the way you shake and dance.
You know we got a cd to sell, so Hammer be ready for your act.

[ MC Hammer:]  Uh-uh Uh-uh

Don't hold back
And Hammer if you come through
You're going to have yourself a house back!!
That's a fact!
Hammer, Where Are You. You're ready and you're willing.
If we can count on you Hammer, I know you'll catch that fever.

[ MC Hammer:] Man, that is just Scooby Doo theme with my name in it.

[ Chris Staggs:] So?

( MC Hammer just look at Chris Staggs and Tito Jackson. He shakes his head and leaves the studio. )

[ Chris Staggs:] Where is he going?

[ Chris Naggs:] Probably to shoot himself

[ Chris Staggs:] We need to stop him then.

[ Chris Naggs:] I wasn't serious. He didn't like it.

[ Chris Staggs:] I guess we don't need Michael Jackson.

[ Chris Naggs:] Uh Chris, that is LaToya Jackson.

[ Chris Staggs:] Oh, well get here out of here to.

[ Chris Naggs:] Okay.

( LaToya and that weird black guy leave the studio. )

[ Chris Naggs:] You know this might be the stupidest promo we have ever done.

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!?

[ Chris Naggs:] Yes.

[ Chris Staggs:] Dude, we got to meet MC Hammer and Tito Jackson.

[ Chris Naggs:] Like I said this is the stupidest promo ever. Good thing you have a joke of a opponent this week.

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!

( Chris Staggs and Chris Naggs look around and shrug their shoulders as the leave the studio. )

(END PROMO)