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[ Chris Naggs:] So, Chris do you understand what you have to do? [ Chris Staggs:] Get a cookie. [ Chris Naggs:] What are you talking about? [ Chris Staggs:] COOKIES!! [ Chris Naggs:] Why? [ Chris Staggs:] The narrator promised me a cookie if I win my match [ Chris Naggs:] I guess that is fair enough. [ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO! [ Chris Naggs:] Good.... ... Fuck Your Ego Trip ... ... Fuck Your Pete Ebdon's ... ... Fuck JD Lawson's ego ... ... Fuck Rob Ortiz ... ... Erupt with some Playboys ... Look around....the state of wrestling is in trouble shape. You have SWF the leader of this "circle" floundering with most of their singles champions. You have the Overdrive championship held by Mr. Rainbow Pride Dude Job. The guy is a complete joke. Though his title reign will come to an end soon as Tommy Grady will face him in a match this Adrenaline and take his Overdrive title. Then you have the SWF World Champion himself. This is the same guy that degraded himself in the FWF week in and week out as an errand boy to win a title that was worth about as much as Jason Hartnell's actual talent. Damn you know Tommy Grady and Chris Staggs have a chance to hold all the SWF gold and the FWF World Title at the end of Survival of the Fittest. So finally the cream will rise to the top so to speak. Chris Staggs is beginning to finally get the just due that has been way past due. Chris Staggs has given more than anybody to the SWF. Chris Staggs has stuck with them through thick and thin. That is the reason why I don't get where Pete Ebdon is coming from. He leaves at the first sign of any difficulty of winning a title. When his politics quit working he runs. That is why he has been in four or so federations within the last year. So now this tea drinking fag thinks he has some stroke around the SWF? Pete look down you aren't stroking anything that doesn't belong to you. So you think you are going to take the SWF Tag Team titles? You are fucking one and five against Chris Staggs when it comes to tag team matches. Face the facts you can't pick your tag team partners very well. I mean damn they kicked your ass with your joke of a stable STATIC, now we are going to have to kick you and your lackeys ass. You are just a glutton for punishment aren't you? I know if Chris Staggs's lackeys can defeat Nicholas Jaxx's ass then surely the two time SWF World Tag Team Champions can do the same exact feat. So Pete Ebdon, bring your Chris Staggs obsessed ass to Survival of The Fittest with your little lackey try and capture the SWF Tag Team Titles. I am sure that Tommy Grady and Chris Staggs will be happy to take care of your little Ego Trip while they prepare for more important things. You know like the SWF World and SWF National titles. Enough of his British dumbass. Let us talk about Remembrance tourney. This is a tourney where most of the best come to prove that they are the greatest wrestler. They bring their A games so to speak. Chris Staggs will try to do the same as he is a pretty good bracket. Some argue that it is the hardest bracket of them all. ...Rob "The Volcano" Ortiz... So Rob you still looking in that Bartlett's Familiar Book of Quotations? I mean we haven't heard much from you since the match was made. Come on Rob, you are picking up quite a following in the back. They think you can finally live up to your hype. You can make it to the next level. They actually think you have found a cure to your butterfingers. They think you can actually carry the ball. Please you are the same Rob Ortiz that couldn't even keep the SWF National title over a week. You dropped the ball then and I am sure you will drop the ball this time. You can say that Chris Staggs has dropped the ball many times too, yet Chris Staggs fumbles have been recovered by him every time. He is still in the next level where you will always be in the middle between beginning level and the next level. You are in no man's land. You have a choice now Rob, you can either show up and try to prove that you belong in the next level or you can stay contempt to wrestling the Raven Talon and Victor Reeves' of the world. Now Rob come on, I am sure that you have found some quotes by now. Here let me try some... "Man who fart in church must sit in own
pew."
Really Rob that is how you are making me feel. You haven't spoke one word about the match. You just sit back reading your little quote book. Rob haven't you learned anything from your first run? No one cares what some dead famous guy once said. Personally Rob I don't get all the quotes. I mean what purpose does it serve? Is it suppose to provide some words of wisdom to the viewing audience? Aw shucks that is so swell. I know that isn't the reason why you do it? Do you ramble off these insightful quotes to pump you up? Hmm if that is so maybe you might want to make another purchase into some self-motivation tapes cause the quotes aren't helping you at all. You barely defeated Raven Talon and Victor Reeves. What is the quotes purpose? Surely it isn't prove that you are smart. It better not be cause any idiot with fifteen bucks and near a book store can gain the same wisdom. I don't know why you provide quotes ,but I know one thing. Your quote is only great as the effect it has. You want to ramble off what the slave fucker Thomas Jefferson once said? Fine by me go right ahead and do it. You want to quote some random professor then go ahead it doesn't matter. You want to bring up some author quote from long ago. I can get on the same exact website you got that quote from. You see Rob, you can quote till you reach the end of the 1000 page book. You will still be nothing more than flirting with the next level. Oops there I go quoting the SWF Website preview of our match. Anyway Rob your hype will be found out as just that come this first round Remembrance match up. Rob you keep quoting like.... "Man who tell one to many light bulb
jokes soon burn out! "
See no one wants to listen people ramble off boring idiotic quotes that will do nothing for you in the match. Fuck you just have to look up a subject to get a quote on in that book. Rob are you going to try and put up a fight? Are you going to show up for the first round match up? Are you going to show up for the main event on Adrenaline? I sure hope so. I mean I would hate to see you fumble the ball away to the other team once again. Well maybe this time though you made finally realize that you aren't as good as you thought you were. Finally this same old I am good and the others are lousy gimmick will finally disappear. Though I would have hoped when Jeff Harris..... JEFF HARRIS!!! embarrassed your ass not once ,but twice, that would have made you give up trying to say that you are better than most people. Really after Jeff Harris beats you, the best thing to do is do what Hen did and RETIRE!!! You can't get rid of the tarnished image that leaves on you. Wait I better not say that. It might piss Rob off and then he will have to "Eloquently Erupt". What the fuck Rob? Quit with the damn gay innuendo. We don't care about your water sport fetish. You have nothing going for you. You still have the ring rust on you. You were lucky to beat two jobbers now you expect to get past one half the SWF Tag Team champions and a proven wrestler like Chris Staggs? Please Rob don't fool yourself. If you can't beat Jeff Harris how do you expect to beat Chris Staggs? Chris Staggs is two and zero while you hold one fluke win over him. Do the math Rob. You aren't going to make it to the next round. ... Summing It Up ... So Rob, come on the book is over 1000 pages long I know you have found two thought provoking quotes by now. Ah I guess you probably have figured out that you are not good enough to make it to the next level. So now Rob run along and erupt on your own time. Pete Ebdon keep on stroking buddy maybe you realize that is your dick you are stroking. JD Lawson keep telling yourself you are controlling the game. Keep telling yourself you have everything in control. Chris Staggs already made you rethink Propaganda. This week Chris Staggs will keep his Adrenaline streak going as he defeats Rob Ortiz in the Remembrance tourney. [ Chris Naggs:] You have this match won. [ Chris Staggs:] So I get the cookie now. [ Chris Naggs:] No remember don't count your chickens before your eggs hatch.. [ Chris Staggs:] I am talking about cookies not eggs. [ Chris Naggs:] Sunday Night win the match and then I will give you the cookies. [ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!! ( Scene opens up with Chris Staggs waking up in a cold sweet as he looks around. He looks over at the time which lucky for him is a digital clock. Chris Staggs gets up as he walks into the hotel living room as Chris Naggs is sitting their reading the newspaper. ) [ Chris Staggs:] Chris are they coming? [ Chris Naggs:] What are you talking about? [ Chris Staggs:] Uh I forgot. [ Chris Naggs:] It must have been a dream. [ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!! [ Chris Naggs:] So, I thought we would get you ready for the tourney. [ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!! [ Chris Naggs:] I hired some help. They are going to help you get the advantage to win the tourney. [ Chris Staggs:] More match cards? [ Chris Naggs:] No, you will see. ( Just then there is a knock at the door. ) [ Chris Naggs:] That must be him. ( Chris Naggs walks over to the door and opens as Chris Naggs looks like he has just seen a ghost. ) [ Chris Naggs:] No it can't be. This must be a joke.
[ Greg The Perky T.G.I. Friday's Waiter:] Silly goose aren't you going to invite me in? [ Chris Naggs:] Why are you here? [ Greg The Perky T.G.I. Friday's Waiter:] Uh DUH! I am here to give Chris Staggs an advantage. [ Chris Naggs:] No way. [ Greg The Perky T.G.I. Friday's Waiter:] You so crazy....I am the missing link to taking Chris Staggs to the promise land. [ Chris Naggs:] Gross man. [ Greg The Perky T.G.I. Friday's Waiter:] No, to the World title and Remembrance championship. I mean I was there when he won the World title, I was there when he won the television title. Plus I am FWF DANCE CHAMPION!! WOOOOO!!!! ( Greg starts to do the ROBOT!!! as Chris Naggs stops him. ) [ Chris Naggs:] Oh okay how are you going to do that? [ Greg The Perky T.G.I. Friday's Waiter:] 90% of getting things is image. [ Chris Staggs:] Image isn't everything.....OBEY YOUR THIRST!!! [ Greg The Perky T.G.I. Friday's Waiter:] I see he is still the slow one. [ Chris Staggs:] No I real fast! [ Greg The Perky T.G.I. Friday's Waiter:] Sure you are silly billy. [ Chris Staggs:] No I'm Chris Staggs. [ Greg The Perky T.G.I. Friday's Waiter:] Uh huh, well now lets come over here and get started. ( The trio walk into the living room ) [ Greg The Perky T.G.I. Friday's Waiter:] Hmm I don't like this Scooby Doo pre school thing he has going on. [ Chris Staggs:] SCOOBY DOOBIE DOO! [ Greg The Perky T.G.I. Friday's Waiter:] I think he needs to go more with the sensitive look. [ Chris Naggs:] What are you talking about? [ Greg The Perky T.G.I. Friday's Waiter:] We need to make him more an outcast. More a wasted youth type guy. [ Chris Naggs:] I don't think I like where you are going. [ Greg The Perky T.G.I. Friday's Waiter:] Let us see what do we need....I guess short hair will have to do. He can't grow it out within a week. Here takes this ( Greg starts handing Chris Staggs clothes. ) take that and some of this. [ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO! [ Greg The Perky T.G.I. Friday's Waiter:] Go change and let us see how you look. [ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO! ( Chris Staggs with his arm full of clothing walks into the bedroom as we wait as we hear a lot of struggling going on in the bedroom finally the door opens and Chris Staggs walks out. )
[ Chris Naggs:] Ugh! [ Greg The Perky T.G.I. Friday's Waiter:] So, Chris how do you feel? [ Chris Staggs:] HOLY SHIT!!! HOLY SHIT!!! HOLY SHIT!!! HOLY SHIT!!! HOLY SHIT!!! HOLY SHIT!!! HOLY SHIT!!! HOLY SHIT!!! HOLY SHIT!!! HOLY SHIT!!! HOLY SHIT!!! HOLY SHIT!!! HOLY SHIT!!! HOLY SHIT!!! HOLY SHIT!!! HOLY SHIT!!! HOLY SHIT!!! HOLY SHIT!!! HOLY SHIT!!! HOLY SHIT!!! HOLY SHIT!!! [ Chris Naggs:] Shut up. [ Chris Staggs:] Okay. [ Greg The Perky T.G.I. Friday's Waiter:] How else do you feel? [ Chris Staggs:] Sad. [ Chris Naggs:] Oh great, you really succeeded didn't you, fag? Now he is a sad version of a FWF Wasted Youth fan. [ Greg The Perky T.G.I. Friday's Waiter:] Don't call me a fag, I got G.L.A.A.D. waiting in the wings. Anyway all Wasted Youth fans are sad. [ Chris Staggs:] Whoa, I have the sudden urge to define words!!! [ Chris Naggs:] Damn. [ Chris Staggs:] A noun a prevention system used to block waterways. [ Chris Naggs:] Ugh! That was the wrong type of damn.. [ Chris Staggs:] Hmm I feel like reciting some poems. ...How did it get so late so
soon... [ Chris Naggs:] ENOUGH OF DR. SEUSS!! That isn't even a poem that is an part out of a book. [ Chris Staggs:] Is so....it rhymed didn't it? [ Chris Naggs:] This isn't going to work....this isn't 2000. Chris Staggs isn't going to be some short ass bisexual gothic fuck. [ Greg The Perky T.G.I. Friday's Waiter:] Good point. Now that I look at this the gothic image isn't the way to go. [ Chris Naggs:] You think. [ Chris Staggs:] I'm a fat chick thrilla! [ Chris Naggs:] Sure you are Chris....Sure you are. Now get out of the ridiculous clothing and put back on your old stuff. [ Greg The Perky T.G.I. Friday's Waiter:] Hmm....I will come up with another idea. [ Chris Naggs:] No more gay shit. [ Greg The Perky T.G.I. Friday's Waiter:] That was bisexual shit. [ Chris Naggs:] No more of any of that. [ Greg The Perky T.G.I. Friday's Waiter:] Fine Mr. Pissy Pants. ( Chris Staggs walks into the bedroom to get out of that image as Greg The Perky T.G.I. Friday's thinks up the next image for Chris Staggs. Chris Naggs walks over to the step ladder and gets up to the bar as he begins to fix himself a drink. ) ( END PROMO )  |
