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[ Chris Naggs:] I can't believe the SWF. [ Chris Staggs:] Believe it. [ Chris Naggs:] Huh? [ Chris Staggs:] SWF is real. [ Chris Naggs:] Agh! [ Chris Staggs:] What?
Fuck em' Fuck the bookers Fuck the higher ups Fuck wads Well Chris Staggs and Tommy Grady were promised a tag team title rematch. Yet what happens? They don't get. No, now Whateva Fo Sho has to earn there rightful rematch. Why? It is not because they want to add more teams to the division. They could have another team and have STATIC and whoever face off while Chris Staggs and Tommy Grady get their tag team title rematch. That won't happen ,because the SWF thinks they can just do whatever they want to the idiots of the SWF. They think Whateva Fo Sho isn't going to complain. You are right, they will not complain. They will not bitch and moan about being screwed over for ratings. No, they will just walk out there and begin another tag team win streak. Though I am going to complain. How the fuck do you promise one thing and don't deliver on it. You asked Whateva Fo Sho if they wanted a rematch. They said yes. So what do you do? You say hmmm let make them earn the shot at the tag team titles by giving a tag team that hasn't wrestle one match as a tag team in the SWF a chance at being the number one contender for the title. Yeah that makes a whole lot of fucking sense. You have former tag team champions facing a debut tag team for a shot at the titles. Then again we are in the federation that has Jeff Harris as the SWF World Champion. Also we are in the federation where we use an old FWF angle for an SWF main event. I mean it wasn't like Justin Goldman was in a world title match. Ah, anyway back to the SWF tag team titles. The SWF doesn't want to give Chris Staggs and Tommy Grady a rematch for the SWF Tag Team Titles. I guess that they want to add some more teams to the division which is fine ,but are they going to keep giving debut tag teams chances of being the number one contenders? I mean fuck why couldn't they put together another tag team and make them face STATIC. That would make more sense wouldn't it? Though having an Chris Staggs/Pete Ebdon 10 would bring in the ratings. Please people have seen this before. I guess Chris Staggs and Tommy Grady will go on cause they want the SWF Tag Team titles back. So STATIC wants to have a chance of becoming the SWF World Tag Team Champions, so have seven other tag teams. They haven't stood a chance. ... Pete Ebdon ... Are my eyes and ears deceiving me? Doesn't Chris Staggs have a tag team match with Pete Ebdon. Yet Pete has remained silent. This must be a first. We have to count our blessings this week. So far we haven't had to be force to see Pete Ebdon go on and on about your basic things. You know Chris Staggs is stupid. Geez people haven't we gone over this five hundred times already? We know Chris Staggs is an idiot. Yet this idiot always somehow picks up victories over the supposedly smarter opponents. So what am I saying? Apparently intelligence doesn't matter. So why do people keep bringing this dumb shit up? Though Pete will claim that Chris Staggs has no talent. Yet this no talent has a three and one record against you in tag team matches. Oh wait that is right you can't pick good partners. It appears that you didn't pick a good one again. I mean damn Pete, for a former SWF Tag Team champion you sure can't find the right chemistry. Though you did do something you always do. You come back to the SWF and right away form a stable. What the fuck Pete? Are you scared to be in the SWF by yourself ? It appears you are. Then again you are the best. Though you say that when you have four people watching your back. Pete, you came back to the SWF and what have you done? You brought back a loser stable in STATIC. They fell on their face the first time they came to the SWF. Fuck they barely formed before they sunk like a rock. Yet that didn't stop you before. Whatever. Pete you have driven every stable that you have led into the ground. You had Malicious Intent into the history books. You gained the SWF World Title and killed off Nemesis. The last stable formed Nemesis X and we know Chris Staggs and crew ran you off. So your history of stables is that of disappointment and failure. Though you are use to this. You were nothing in the IWF and you were nothing in the W3. You run to the EW and you have to wait till Jackrabbit dies to actually have a chance at winning the EW World Title. Damn Pete, Jackrabbit never came close to defeating Whateva Fo Sho. So Pete you still think you are going to walk in and defeat the former SWF Tag Team Champions? You think you are going to have a chance of having your third reign as SWF World Tag Team Champions? You must have been taking a beating in EW to actually think that is a possibility. Pete Ebdon can continue to talk the game. You know how you are the best. You are controversial. You can talk all this shit ,but no one will care about some loser who wants to make the mid card controversial. Oh though we know that you are going to be the main event ,because you are a superstar. Don't give me that bullshit. Oh wait you were a former SWF World Champion, so fucking what. Alex Luciano didn't do shit when he returned. He was mid card material. I mean fuck he faced RAIMI in probably his last match. So Pete you can bring up the past ,but right now you have surrounded yourself with losers and thus you will be a loser. Now I know you will bring up the past about Chris Staggs. You will say that you ruined Chris Staggs life. You shattered his career. Hmm let us see former SWF Tag Team champs, numerous World Title shots. Yeah Pete, you really ruined Chris Staggs. I mean if it wasn't for you. Just think how many World Title shots Chris Staggs would have got. .... Dynamic Dynamite ... So Pete has went out and got him some type of wannabe super hero sidekick. I mean damn is this guy for real? Is he going to call himself Dynamic Dynamite. Damn what is going to happen now? Are you going have the three other fantastic four come out and help. This has to be a joke, Pete. You are really going to tag with this guy? Fuck I though Nicholas Jaxx was a joke as your tag partner ,but I do believe this fantastic four reject takes the cake. This guy really wants me to take him serious. I mean his fucking name takes away all seriousness. Damn it sounds like Dr. Seuss name that he came up with. So anyway is this guy even going to show up and help you Pete? The guy hasn't been seen. So Pete you have a guy that might not show up. Yet you are confident that you are still going to win? Please you have this jackass in your corner that just means it will be a handicap Wait wasn't this jackass in the SWF before? He was the one with the porn stars in his promos for no apparent reason. I mean damn what was the point of that? He is a complete moron. Though it makes since that Pete Ebdon would team with him. After all this jackass makes Pete Ebdon look good. So this guy is going to show any type of threat? Maybe if this was a comic book. That would be the only time. Fuck this guy. He is a joke. Why do I need to waste my breath on this loser. ... Summing It Up ... So Whateva Fo Sho will have to face Pete Ebdon and Kid Wonder in a match to see who is the number one contender. Really folks this is nothing ,but a waste of time. This is nothing more than a formality. Propaganda will have to defend their belts against Whateva Fo Sho which only means that JD Lawson will have to carry Cordozer's ass one more time. ( Camera fades in with Chris Staggs walks down the hall with his Scooby Doo PJs on as he walks into the bedroom and kneels beside the bed as he begins to say his prayers as he has already taken his Flintstone vitamins. Chris Staggs begins ) [ Chris Staggs:] God Bless Chris Naggs, God Bless Tommy Grady, God Bless JD Lawson, God Bless Mystery Inc even Fred, God Bless the Cartoon Network, God Bless these FO SHO!! PJs!!!! God Bless the USA and God Bless CANADA!!! WOOOOOOOOO!!!! ( Chris Staggs stands up takes a sip of water and gets into bed as he drifts to sleep ) ... Typical Dream Sequence ... ( We see a sold out concert as the fans are chanting as you can't make it out as just then the music of "Wanksta" begins as we see three people walk as one seems to be a child. They have hoods on their head from the sweat shirts. They pull down the hoods as we see Whateva Fo Sho and Chris Naggs as Aaron Everage is on the turn tables. They start to act thug like. ) [ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!!! Yeah, it's Chris Staggs, A.K.A. Volkswagon Stationwagon. Break it down I gotta lotta livin' To do 'fore I retire And I ain't got time to waste, let's make it [ Chris Naggs:] Thought u said you a champion, but you never pop nuttin' You say you a champion and you need to stop frontin' [ Chris Staggs:] You ain't no friend of mine You ain't no kin of mine What makes you think that I won't run up on you with the wine? We do this all the time Right now we on the grind So hurry up in comptin,go, we sellin' nicks and dimes Shorty he's a manger of mine, I gotta give him have 75% of mine. An midget like that, gotta be one of a kind I crush 'em everytime Punch 'em with every line I'm freakin' with Pete's mind I make Pete Ebdon press rewind They know Pete Ebdon can't shine If I'm around to rhyme Been out of the funny farm since September 29 cuz I commit the crime I stay in my line I did it one month cause I was out of my mind. The D's ran up in my crib, you know who dropping dimes [ Chris Naggs:] You say you a champion, but you never pop nuttin' You say you a champion and you need to stop frontin' Go to the Superior, but you don't never cop nuttin' You been Elite Champion' a long time and you ain't got nuttin' [ Tommy Grady:] Damn homey In EW you was the man homey The fuck happened to you? I got the sickest vendetta When it come to the titlahs Nigga you play with my paper, you gon' meet my beretta Now shorty think I'ma sweat him I'm sippin' on Jello I might hit once, then pin your for that win I know I can do better He look friendly, but I know he after my titlah He tryin get to my ming homey and I ain't gon' let We be of the hizzy. Start some bullcrap, you get your whole crew left We in the club doin' the same old two step Whateva Unit cuz, they say we FO SHOed' out Cuz we don't go nowhere without toast, we Whateva Fo Shoed' out [ Chris Staggs:] Me, I'm no monsta Me, I'm no lobsta Me, I'm no superman Me, I'm just me, me Me, I'm no champion Me, I'm no tractor But it's me you see on your TV Cuz I wrestle baby This rap crap is so easy I'm gettin' what you get for a brick to talk trashy By any means partner, I got to eat on these streets And you play me close, for sure I'm gon' pop my leap Niggas sayin' they gonna murder Chris Staggs, how? We ride around with super soakers the size of Lil' Bow Wow What you know about 250's and 350's ? Equipped with night vision, shell catchers, and inf-beams huh? [ Tommy Grady:] Haha Damn homey ( The crowd is going wild as just then a tidal wave is seen as Chris Staggs wakes up and grabs himself ) [ Chris Staggs:] Gotta PEE!!! ( Chris Staggs sprints into the bathroom ) ( TO BE CONTINUED AFTER THE PEE...)
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