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[ Chris Staggs:] Chris, this guy is mean. [ Chris Naggs:] No he isn't [ Chris Staggs:] He is making everyone mad at me. [ Chris Naggs:] He is telling the truth. [ Chris Staggs:] So everyone hates me? No, they are jealous of you... Fuck you Fuck your mother Fuck your brother Fuck the whole damn world Yeah the SWF is giving Chris Staggs a push....one fucked up pushed. Yeah Marquis, Chris Staggs is getting pushed to title shots and that is it. They push him to job to titles. You want his push Marquis? You want to have it where you win match after match for nothing. You defeat losers just to do the job at the pay per view? You want that? You want to go undefeated on Adrenaline just to get jobbed at the next pay per view. Yeah Marquis Chris Staggs is getting pushed. Chris Staggs hasn't held a title for over a month since last year. Yet Chris Staggs shouldn't be getting this push. I agree Marquis Chris Staggs should be able to win against a champion. He should be able to be called a champion after all he has done more for the SWF than the rest of the roster. Though Chris Staggs is nothing right? He doesn't make the show interesting. I mean after all he is one of the only to dare and come out of his locker room. I mean that isn't what you are suppose to do. You are supposed to do a Cordozer and stay in your locker room. You just need to sit there go out during the month and half ass it. Right, I mean how dare the SWF give Chris Staggs pushes for actually doing something. That is ridiculous, rewarding people for working. Why kind of concept is that? Wait that means the roster has to work. Damn that is one fucked up concept. Please bitches. You make no sense. You blast Chris Staggs for getting pushes that he earns. That is like making fun of Kobe Bryant for scoring thirty points cause he was shooting the ball. See it makes no sense. Yet you do it why? Simply you think that it sounds good. Forget any truth to the matter as long as it sounds good. Remember this though push or no push Chris Staggs still will win simply due to the fact that Chris Staggs is more experience than most of the roster. He is more over than most of the roster. He is more talented than half of the roster. Go ahead blast the SWF for giving Chris Staggs pushes, just remember if you would show your face more than in the match maybe you would get a push. Bitches always want to hate cause that can't emulate. Just remember that when Chris Staggs pins your shoulders for the three count. Now enough of this talk about pushes and what not. Let's talk about this week's match. I have already talked a little about him already. Now lets really begin to break him down. ... Marquis Soriano ... Same dance and different version of the song huh? Yeah I didn't think you would come up with anything different. So you are going to call Chris Staggs a mental midget, you are going to claim his IQ is as low as a rock. WHOA!! Wait he is an idiot? Get out of town. I had no idea that Chris Staggs was an idiot. Please note the sarcasm in my voice. We all know Chris Staggs is an idiot. Why does his opponents feel the urge to point this fact out? I mean it is not like the guy is denying the fact. So all you are doing is making yourself look bad when you get defeated by a mental midget. Then again I am laying "verbal bombs" on you. What the fuck?! Did you even watch the damn promo before you responded to it? I am not that fucking Mic Steal. When did I even say I was going to drop verbal bombs on you? Oh wait that doesn't matter. It sounded good though right? You thought of that when Mic Steal was doing the narrations and you just had to say it even if he was here or not. Why do I suddenly get the feeling that I am facing an A.D.D. sufferer? You are not paying attention to what I say. I don't use verbal bombs. I don't even know what the fuck verbal bombs are. Anyway enough about your A.D.D. It seems you at least thought of a new title that Chris Staggs has blown. You bring up that Chris Staggs lost the SWF Tag Team titles. So what? Have you ever seen a champion stay champion for his whole career? No, it is impossible to do. Losing the titles is a part of the business. Now you claim that Cordozer Stevenson defeated Chris Staggs. When exactly did Cordozer Stevenson pin Chris Staggs's shoulders for the victory? I don't know if your A.D.D. is kicking in or not ,but what I saw is Chris Staggs getting pinned by JD Lawson. So saying Chris Staggs lost to Cordozer Stevenson is an asterisk to the victory. Cordozer Stevenson was on the outside looking in. I guess if you want to say that. Whatever. You keep on telling yourself Cordozer Stevenson defeated Chris Staggs. You defeated Cordozer Stevenson then that means you will win. Yeah keep telling yourself that though now you at least didn't bring up blown World title shots. You did the same deal though ,but this was just a different title. So far you have called Chris Staggs an idiot. Now you call Chris Staggs on losing the SWF Tag Team Title. Wait a second I am starting to recognize this song and dance again. What is next I hear? Oh wait Chris Staggs isn't funny. He is the typical "funny talk" and "funny walk". So Marquis when did you become the expert on comedy? And I do mean intentional comedy. Oh wait you heard Chris Staggs's opponents use that same line too. Damn people, come up with something more than the three same things. I have told you time and time again. ,but do you want to listen? No, you want to walk out there with your guard let down and get defeated. Well so be it. So Marquis, I must have touched a nerve in my last promo when I claimed your two victories were nothing more than paper wins. You seemed to get very defensive about that. Thus meaning one thing, you know the victories are nothing. You know that Chris Staggs is better than Cordozer Stevenson and Odyssey. Though you may put on this act like they are not worth anything, you don't fool me. You wouldn't be defending them as bad as you are if they meant nothing. Now I have to say you did come up with something. You claim that Chris Staggs is jealous. Jealous of what? Your little fan club? Why should he be? He is the biggest face in the SWF. Why would he be jealous. You are reaching now Marquis. Your claims of teenage angst are nothing. You haven't got a clue on how to approach Staggs so you fall in line with the rest of the roster. This only means that Chris Staggs will pick up yet another victory on Monday Night Adrenaline. It is a simple as that. ... Propaganda ... JD Lawson actually admits that Whateva Fo Sho' gave them a good match. Well I would hope so since they were the SWF World Tag Team Champions. Now on the other hand you have Cordozer who thinks that he is the best guy in the world. Why though? All he did was let JD Lawson pick up the victory. I guess that is your role right Cordozer? You just stay out of the way and don't get involved. If that is your job then you did it to perfection. Though you did try and pin Chris Staggs. You tried everything you could think of to put away Chris Staggs. Every time Chris Staggs would kick out of the cover. He would make you frustrated. Cordozer you don't have Chris Staggs number. Hell, you don't even have his zip code. Cordozer, you may have the tag team championships title right now ,but remember you wouldn't have it if it wasn't for JD Lawson. Cordozer you did one thing right though. You aligned yourself with JD Lawson. So now Propaganda don't get use to the feeling of having the SWF Tag Team titles around your waist. No, Chris Staggs and Tommy Grady are not going to do generic backstage segment and steal the titles. No they will another chance just because they are the only tag team. So you might have lucked out at the pay per view. Next time you might not be as lucky. Cordozer you better love every second of that title because they are coming back to Whateva Fo Sho' soon. ... Summing It Up ... Marquis pointed out four things. He pointed out Chris Staggs was an idiot. Which was like me saying Marquis is black. We know that already. He pointed out Chris Staggs wasn't funny. Sorry you have a British sense of humor. He pointed out that his victories were good victories. Whatever you say. He pointed out that Chris Staggs is jealous. In your wildest dreams bitch. Propaganda the titles are coming home. Keep them warm for Whateva Fo Sho. [ Chris Staggs:] What a meanie. [ Chris Naggs:] He is going to help you win. [ Chris Staggs:] Win what? [ Chris Naggs:] The match dumb ass. [ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!? [ Chris Naggs:] Yes. 'Damn I am surprised this guy can get in the ring. [ Chris Staggs:] I'm a big boy Sure you are. ( Camera fades in as we see Chris Staggs and Chris Naggs in front of the gas station where there is a sign that reads "Lotto Tickets Sold Here". Chris Staggs looks happy as he jumps up and down clapping his hands. Chris Naggs tries to get Chris Staggs to stop as he finally does. They proceed into the gas station. ) [ Chris Staggs:] I want one of these. ( Chris Staggs picks up a candy bar ) [ Chris Staggs:] I want two of these. ( Chris Staggs picks up some pop rocks ) [ Chris Staggs:] I want three of these. ( Chris Staggs picks up some bags of chips ) [ Chris Staggs:] I want four of these. ( Chris Staggs picks up some slim jims ) [ Chris Staggs:] OH YEAHHHHHHHHHHH!! Eww I want some five of these ( Chris Staggs picks up a handful of fireballs ) [ Chris Staggs:] I want all of these in the store. ( Chris Staggs takes the box of M&Ms!!! ) [ Chris Naggs:] Chris PUT DOWN EVERYTHING!!! ( Chris Staggs drops everything in the floor ) [ Chris Naggs:] I didn't mean that. [ Chris Staggs:] What did you mean? [ Chris Naggs:] Nevermind, come over here. [ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO! ( Chris Staggs walks over to the counter ) [ Cashier:] What games do you want to draw from. [ Chris Staggs:] The Money one. [ Cashier:] You have Draw 3 Draw 5 or the Powerball. [ Chris Staggs:] Ummmm POWERBALL!!! CAUSE I WANT THE POWER!!! [ Cashier:] Uh right. What are your five numbers [ Chris Staggs:] I got them wrote down. ( Chris Staggs pulls out the piece of paper ) [ Chris Staggs:] 12-12-12-12-12 [ Cashier:] Sir they have to be different numbers. [ Chris Staggs:] Fo Sho!? [ Cashier:] Yes. [ Chris Staggs:] Okay let me think. ( Chris Staggs writes them down and then calls them out ) [ Chris Staggs:] 12-13-14-15-16 [ Cashier:] Uh okay. ( The cashier takes the money from Chris Naggs as they print out the ticket. The cashier hands the ticket Chris Staggs ) [ Cashier:] They drawings are held Wednesdays and Saturdays. [ Chris Staggs:] Saturday is tomorrow. [ Cashier:] Right. [ Chris Staggs:] Give me my money now. [ Cashier:] What? [ Chris Staggs:] You play the lottery and get money. Can I have an advance. [ Cashier:] Not everyone wins. [ Chris Staggs:] Oh! How do I win. [ Cashier:] They will have five numbers drawn tomorrow if they match your numbers then you win money. [ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!? [ Cashier:] Yes. [ Chris Staggs:] Let's go home Chris. [ Chris Naggs:] Okay. ( The duo exits the gas station as the cashier walks to the aisle and begins to pick up Chris Staggs's mess that he made earlier. ) ... The Next Day ... ( The scene is a dark room as you hear a loud thud as just then Chris Staggs burst through the door as Chris Staggs runs over and wakes up Chris Naggs who is quite upset right now. Chris Staggs jumping up and down as Chris Naggs settles him down. ) [ Chris Staggs:] HAVE THEY DRAWN YET?! HAVE I WON!? [ Chris Naggs:] Chris it is five after midnight. [ Chris Staggs:] It is Saturday. [ Chris Naggs:] They are not drawn until five in the afternoon. [ Chris Staggs:] Oh. ( Chris Staggs runs out of the room ) ... 5:00 Saturday ... ( Chris Staggs is seen sitting in his seat as Chris Naggs walks in ) [ Chris Staggs:] They are fixing to draw. ( The Newscast ) [ Cashier:] Tonight's numbers are 21-31-41-51-61 ( Chris Staggs looks shocked and happy ) [ Chris Staggs:] WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I WON I WON I WON!!!! WOOOOOOO ( Chris Staggs jumps up and down as Chris Naggs takes a look at the numbers ) [ Chris Naggs:] Chris...you didn't win. The numbers you have are 12-13-14-15-16. [ Chris Staggs:] No I wrote them down before I told her. ( Chris Staggs takes the paper that Chris Staggs wrote his numbers on as they are 21-31-41-51-61 ) [ Chris Naggs:] Hmmm...you must have dyslexia. [ Chris Staggs:] Hey just cause I lost their is no need to call me names. [ Chris Naggs:] It is a disease. [ Chris Staggs:] OH MY GOD I AM GOING TO DIE!!! I AM TOO PRETTY TO DIE!! TAKE CHRIS HE IS UGLY!!! [ Chris Naggs:] HEY!! I am not ugly also you are not going to die. [ Chris Staggs:] Oh, hmm maybe I can save up my money and buy it. [ Chris Naggs:] Your super soaker? [ Chris Staggs:] How did you know? [ Chris Naggs:] Your confession booth last promo. [ Chris Staggs:] Oh. ( Chris Staggs takes a seat ) ... Confession Booth ... ( Chris Staggs is seen sitting in a chair in his room as he begins to talk ) [ Chris Staggs:] So I didn't win the lottery. Though I did learn that I had a disease. Maybe I can give it to my opponents. Though it is not deadly. I heard that some people give people diseases when they try to get the stork to come. Which I don't understand. They say wear protection. Do they mean like a hat where the stork doesn't poop on you? I mean I understand that. Though I have never heard of Trojan what does USC have to do with the stork. Do they make the babies at USC or something? Man I am confused. I wished I could understand that. I guess I never will. Oh well I hope I win Sunday Night. That way I can say I won and they lost to a guy with a disease. Oh well FO SHO! I AM OUT! ( Chris Staggs gets up and leaves as just then the maid comes in ) [ Chris Staggs:] Hi. [ Maid:] House keeping. [ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO! [ Maid:] House keeping. [ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO! [ Maid:] House keeping. [ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO! ( Awkward silence. Chris Staggs leaves as the maid begins to steal from Chris Staggs ) ( END PROMO )
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