[ Chris Naggs:] Okay Chris, I have to draw the line here.

[ Chris Staggs:] Umm you have no pencil.

[ Chris Naggs:] What!? NO I can't let you have this narrator try-out

[ Chris Staggs:] Why?

[ Chris Naggs:] Dude it is a complete rip off.

[ Chris Staggs:] I didn't charge him any money., I swear.

[ Chris Naggs:] But....

Dude chill out

I spell my name different see...

Now lets take a toke and get this thing started. As my bud, Chris Staggs continues to leave the rest of the roster up in smoke. Whoa dudes have you seen that movie? Cheech and Chong are so cool. Though like a first timer on the bong, the competition can't handle more than one hit. Dude that was so totally like a VERBAL BURN! Yeah, these dudes think they can hang ten with Chris Staggs? They have to be dreaming like the dream I had last night about hanging this humungous wave. The wave had to be thirty feet tall. I was like WHOA then I woke up and came here. So yeah like these chumps are like a sand castle when the tides comes in. They are vanish as quick as they have arrived. Take for example Avirez, he pops off his mouth to Chris and he is taken away by the tide never to be seen or heard from again. Why do these loooooooooooser keep trying to diss with the harshness. I don't understand where this hatred is coming from. Did these guys hit rock bottom? Did they just ride someone's coattails from federation to federation. Newsflash people Jason Rothchild is out of wrestling. Forget it never mind. Sorry don't know what came over me. It is just like this obsession I have with Jason Rothchild for some reason. It is almost like I want to be just like him. Anyway why do these dudes keep on trying to get Staggs's attention. No one has beat him on Adrenaline is over two months. Quit trying, I mean hell quit wrestling all together and go back to college. Go get a cool English Degree. I did and look what I am doing. Dudes I am telling you its like catching the perfect wave in the Maui Surfing Invitational. It just doesn't get any better dudes. I am so stoked! Dudes face it you are like seaweed to Chris Staggs. You are nothing except annoyances. Get over yourselves. Though I know there is going to be one new guy and try to get some cheap heat. Dude chill...........its not worth getting your ass handed to you on a freshly waxed surfboard, is it? I mean look at this week we have the number one contender for the SWF World Title in a steel cage match with Chris Staggs. That just means one thing...another victory for Chris Staggs DUDE!

...Jeff Harris...

Dude what is with all the negativity. I mean you almost act like you have lost your best friend or something. You walk around bringing down everyone around you. Cheer up. So Ranma is getting eaten by worms right as we speak. Dude everything is going to be fine. So Ranma is stiffer well damn you couldn't really tell either dead or alive. He was kind of a stiff anyway. Heh. Dude don't get torn up over this.  It is just a way of life, dude. Every gothic type wrestler gets killed while wrestling at a young age, do you believe that? Of course you do. It is just the way the world works. Look at Michael Trey and James Sexton. Whoa! Wait! Dude you never know Ranma might resurrect himself from the grave, I mean Easter was just last week. Also Michael Trey and James Sexton did it ,so it couldn't be too hard. Dude cheer up there is hope. Though right now I know you are sad that Ranma is dead, because now you can't use him to get where you are anymore. Dude your days of dropping the phrase "Oh Ranma and I are close" in everyday conversation has gotten colder than well Ranma's body. Dude no more can you live off Ranma for your pushes dude. Hell your title shot right now was on an angle based around Ranma's funeral. Don't tell me Harris you are not the coffee boy anymore, dude. I know you don't have to defend your countless gimmicks against me. Dude it's okay, maybe when you lose to Chris Staggs and Hen at the pay per view you can become JD Lawson's errand boy. Dude you know JD Lawson held the FWF World Title belt too. Dude he has the ability to get you another push dude. See dude I got you all lined up now dude, so quit with the depressing openings that seem to go on and on. Why don't you do what I do when I am sad and looking for another federation. I grab my surfboard and become one with the ocean. Dude its okay, things will get better. I am sure of that. Dude now I know you wish this was last year. I know you wish you still had your FWF Big Mouth Title around your waist. I know I would miss it like I would my favorite surfboard. Dude get over it, the Big Mouth Title was about as important as the FWFx. I mean people knew it was around ,but no one wanted to be apart of it.  Oops I forgot that was when you were cool. Dude that was when you were in close with Ranma and owned Starbucks. I forgot man. Sorry, so now you are bummed again, aren't you? Dude I also have a way to cheer you up. What about you quit holding candle light visuals by his grave every night and move on with your life. When he resurrects from the grave I am sure he will let you know. Dude focus on the current goals. You have a chance to fight for the World Title. Hey maybe you can keep up the "OH WHERE OH WHERE DID RANMA GO?" for one more week. Yeah, I am sure nobody has gotten tired of that damn thing by now. So The Ascendant....wait that is dead. I forgot you had a funeral for that too. Damn dude what is up with all these damn funerals...is there some type of frequent user discount I don't know about? Dude help me out. I am trying to help you. I mean it just doesn't seem right that you are always down. Wait DUDE!! I GOT IT!!! You are trying to be like Ranma was when he was in the FWF!! I mean he was always depressed it seemed. Yeah I know it's a typical comment ,but it's true. Dude you went and dropped The Ascendant and then became all dark and stuff. What is next? Are you going to start a Syndicate and take over the federation? Whoa! That would rock if you did it with JD Lawson. Right? Then you would become just like Ranma when he and JD did it. Dude please help me out here. Right now when I watch your promos I suddenly lose my buzz. Dude really cheer up soon cause I am running out of KB's weed. Though I guess I know it is hard with the Ranma death thing and then you have to face Chris Staggs in a steel cage. Well dude just remember this....Ranma will resurrect from the grave sooner or later and Chris Staggs will defeat you quickly this week's main event. Problems solved dude. Here have a Starbucks coffee to perk you up!

... Propaganda ...

Dudes, quit with the all the seriousness stuff all the time. I mean if I wanted to see that then I got CNN and C-SPAN to put me to sleep. In all seriousness dudes why are you even together? Because when I look at the group all I see is nothing. I mean dudes! JD is the only one keeping it together, why is the question that will leave me speechless? Why does this dude want to continue to align himself with these jack-offs and failures? Jonathan Collins is like no where to be found. I thought you had to defend your Overdrive title every show dudes. Then you have the other dude Cordozer Stevenson who comes up with these excuses. He calls people lucky. He keeps saying that he wasn't the cause for the lost. He is still better than everyone. Dude wake up you haven't gotten anything while Chris has the SWF Tag Team Title and Hen has the World title. Dude chill out and catch some good vibes then maybe you can become a legend like I was in the 3W federation. Dude I ruled. I laid VERBAL HANG TENS ON THEIR ASSES!!  Dude I surfed tidal waves over the competition. I was like awesome. Dude JD, why don't you drop these losers and go solo. You know if you win at the pay per view dude you are stuck with Cordozer till you lose the titles. Dude WHOA!! I know...why don't you do us a favor and lose the match on purpose ,but don't tell Cordozer about it. That would be so like umm well GNARLY!!!

... Summing It Up...

Dudes please quit trying to beat Chris Staggs. You know that can't happened. Chris Staggs hasn't lost a match on Adrenaline since January. Dude it isn't worth trying. Jeff dude buck up after this lost to Chris Staggs you can try to resurrect yourself so you can try and win the World title. Propaganda you haven't the team work to take the SWF World Tag Team Titles away from Whateva Fo Sho. Dudes you need to go wax your surfboards cause you are wasting our time with these promos.

[ Chris Naggs: ] Um Chris, why are we only doing one promo this week?

[ Chris Staggs:] Dude Jeff Harris does it all the time.

[ Chris Naggs: ] But….

[ Chris Staggs:] I mean look he has a shot for one of those gold belts everyone is after.

[ Chris Naggs: ] Chris, Jeff Harris lost last week when he did that.

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!?

[ Chris Naggs: ] YEAH! So quit half-assing it!

[ Chris Staggs:] Too late now.

[ Chris Naggs: ] Grrr

Oh yeah I forgot one thing...

[ Chris Naggs: ] What is that?

No One Ever Really Hangs Ten, Do You Believe That?...

( Camera opens up with Chris Staggs and Chris Naggs in the hotel room as Chris Staggs looks around bored out of his mind while Chris Naggs is fixing himself a drink. Chris Staggs hops up and walks over to Chris Naggs who takes a sip of his drink )

[ Chris Staggs:] I'm bored

[ Chris Naggs: ] What do you want to do?

[ Chris Staggs:] I want to go to Toronto.

[ Chris Naggs: ] Why?

[ Chris Staggs:] I don't know.

[ Chris Naggs: ] We can't anyway. They have the SARS outbreak.

[ Chris Staggs:] So, I got SARS. Look.

( Chris Staggs pulls up his pants leg and points to his knee. )

[ Chris Staggs:] That is where the doctor cut open my knee to fix it.

[ Chris Naggs: ] NO! SARS not scars.

[ Chris Staggs:] What is that?

[ Chris Naggs: ] It's like the flu that messes with your breathing or something like that.

[ Chris Staggs:] Oh we don't need to get that then.

[ Chris Naggs: ] No we don't.

[ Chris Staggs:] So if we can't go to Toronto then let's go to the park.

[ Chris Naggs: ] So it was between Toronto or the park.

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!

[ Chris Naggs: ] That was a long stretch for a dumb joke.

[ Chris Staggs:] What joke?

[ Chris Naggs: ] Never mind.

( Chris Staggs and Chris Naggs walk out of the hotel room )

...2 minutes later...

( Chris Staggs and Chris Naggs are seen walking down the sidewalk in the park as Chris Naggs just shakes his head in disbelief. )

[ Chris Naggs: ] We did a cutaway for two minutes.

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!

[ Chris Naggs: ] Ugh

[ Chris Staggs:] So wonderful day huh?

[ Chris Naggs: ] It appears it is fixing to rain.

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!?

[ Chris Naggs: ] YES!

[ Chris Staggs:] Why are we out here in the park?

[ Chris Naggs: ] Cause you were bored.

[ Chris Staggs:] Ewwwwww SEE SAW!!! COME ON!!!

[ Chris Naggs: ] NO!! No way are you getting me on that.

[ Chris Staggs:] Yes you are...

( Chris Staggs folds his arms and pouts )

[ Chris Naggs: ] Pouting will not change my mind.

[ Chris Staggs:] PLEASE!!!

[ Chris Naggs: ] NO!!

[ Chris Staggs:] YES!!!

[ Chris Naggs: ] You aren't no going to give it up are you?

[ Chris Staggs:] YES!! Errrrrr I mean NO!

[ Chris Naggs: ] Fine I will.

( Chris Naggs and Chris Staggs walk over to the see saw as just then a kid runs up crying. )

[ Chris Staggs:] What is wrong man..

[ Kid:] WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!

[ Chris Staggs:] Why are you crying.

[ Kid:] WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!

[ Chris Staggs:] Chris, he won't stop.

[ Chris Naggs: ] Kid what is wrong?

[ Kid:] *SNIF* *SNIF* It can't be true.

[ Chris Naggs: ] What can't be true?

[ Kid:] Over here.

( The Kid walks over to a cemetery that is along the park...go figure. They walk toward a grave )

[ Chris Staggs:] Chris I'm scared. I feel like I am a part of a Jeff Harris backstage segment.

[ Chris Naggs: ] Um right, hey kid where are you taking us?

[ Kid:] LOOK!

( The camera pans back to Chris Staggs who is in total shock as he begins to turn red as finally he builds up to an outburst )

[ Chris Staggs:] GOD WHY!? GOD WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME!?!?! WHY HAVE YOU TAKEN THE JOY IN THE WORLD!?!?!

( Chris Staggs falls to his knees and looks up to the sky )

[ Chris Staggs:] HE CAN'T DIE!!!

[ Chris Naggs: ] It might not be the Santa Claus.

[ Chris Staggs:] How many Santa Claus's do you know?

[ Chris Naggs: ] It can't be, he isn't real.

[ Chris Staggs:] Now you are just talking plain crazy. How do you explain the presents getting there, Mr. Smarty Pants?

[ Chris Naggs: ] Your parents.

[ Chris Staggs:] So you are telling me that our parents stay up till we go to bed and just put the presents there? That is just too silly to believe, Chris.

[ Chris Naggs: ] Yep that is right.

[ Chris Staggs:] I don't believe it. Get a shovel!! We are going to dig him up and see if he is real or fake.

[ Chris Naggs: ] You can't.

[ Chris Staggs:] Why cause you know you are wrong?

[ Chris Naggs: ] Uh umm yeah I am wrong....he is real.

[ Chris Staggs:] I knew it. Hmm he died three years ago...Who is doing his deliveries? OH WAIT I KNOW...

[ Chris Naggs: ] Who?

[ Chris Staggs:] Who else? The Easter Bunny.

[ Chris Naggs: ] Oh...

[ Chris Staggs:] Hey where did the kid go?

[ Chris Naggs: ] I don't know.

[ Chris Staggs:] I bet he was an elf sent by the Easter Bunny to spread the news that he does two holidays now..

[ Chris Naggs: ] Uh right. Lets go back to the hotel.

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!!

( Chris Staggs and Chris Naggs turn around and walk back to the hotel. )

... Confession Booth ...

( Chris Staggs is seen sitting in a booth with the Sony Camcorder on as Chris Staggs sits there looking at the camcorder and begins to talk )

[ Chris Staggs:] Dude you know today was probably the worst day of my life. I mean when you learn that Santa Claus died three years ago. It is like whoa! I think I know what killed him though...I think it was all those cookies he ate. Really you know no man could really eat all those cookies without gaining a bunch of weight.. Though I think the Easter Bunny has picked up the slack and has done a good job. The thing that bothers me is how the Easter Bunny gets in the house. Hmmm maybe the Easter Bunny can leap buildings in a single bound like superman. Dude that would rule if the Easter Bunny was a super hero. Maybe I can meet him when I get into the justice league as Aluminum Man.  I hope tomorrow is a better day. I am going to take a nap now. BUH BYE!!

( Chris Staggs gets up and walks out of the booth as a Catholic Priest voice is heard. )

[ Catholic Priest:] Sir what are you talking about? That isn't a sin. Sir?! Hello!? Oh well....HEY! where is that Altar Boy.

( END PROMO )