Famous Last Words

"Hey guys, watch this!"

"Yeah what Chris Staggs choke AGAIN!"

Chris Staggs is the Boston Red Sox and Chicago Cubs all rolled up into one. Chris Staggs apparently isn't able to capture the SWF World Title. It's apparent that his curse is greater than that of the great Bambino's curse.  No I am not going into the Shattered Champion spill, I am just stating a fact that has became apparent now. Chris Staggs has had so many chances that it is pathetic now. Chris Staggs can't do shit right. Fuck it he is a fucking choke artist. Yeah you heard me. He is a fucking choke artist. There is no way around it. Yeah maybe the first three may have been just bad luck and the other three were screw jobs ,but this last one, Chris Staggs couldn't get the job done. Fucking idiot. Damn I can't believe this idiot keeps getting chance after chance. Cordozer is right...Chris Staggs is a fucking joke. Hen was right when he said Chris Staggs wouldn't get the job done. Now he has to face Andrew Hurley who will probably beat the FO SHO! Idiot this week. Hell if it wasn't for me, we wouldn't know who Chris Staggs is facing. His promos make no sense and the misadventures are too much like Hen. What a rip off. God I can't believe I work for this idiot. If it wasn't that I was getting about 40 percent of his paycheck I would take this job and shove it. Now I am going to be forced to defend an idiot. I am his fucking mouth piece. I talk big for him and yet what does he do? He loses. What a fucking loser...It was just a miracle that he won the SWF World Tag Team championship titles with his IQ equivalent Tommy Grady.

[ Chris Staggs:] WHY ARE YOU BEING SO MEAN TO ME!? MEANIE!!!

[ Chris Naggs:] Screw this guy, Chris. Let's fire his ass.

[ Chris Staggs:] Fire him to where?

[ Chris Naggs:] Errr so he won't work with us anymore.

[ Chris Staggs:] Oh FO SHO YOU ARE ON FIRE!

[ Chris Naggs:] No you are fired

[ Chris Staggs:] Why what did I do?

[ Chris Naggs:] Not you, the narrator.

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!

Screw you guys, I QUIT!!!!!

..............................................................................

[ Chris Naggs:] Oh yeah we need someone to talk

[ Chris Staggs:] How about that guy over there

[ Chris Naggs:] The stage hand?

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!

Um what am I suppose to do?

[ Chris Naggs:] Talk trash about Hurley and events concerning Chris Staggs

Okay, Umm let's start off with uh Andrew Hurley...

... Andrew Hurley...

So you were the Overdrive Champion...you were that for over two months? Yeah you have been pretty good. Yet, you haven't faired well with people with main event status. Well with the exception of Cordozer Stevenson which we all know doesn't deserve to be in the main event. Anyway now Andrew Hurley you face Chris Staggs while both of you are coming off of loses. Though Chris Staggs did pick up something called the World Tag Team Title. Oh well here we go now I am just a stage hand who was put on the spot, where I have to talk shit. Well guess what I AM A FUCKING DISGRUNTLE STAGEHAND!!! Yeah so now Andrew Hurley you want to get back into your winning ways after you lost it to Jonathan Collins!? Who the fuck is this joke. This is the same guy who thought that teaming with Colibri Jr. was a great idea. Damn I actually thought you had some talent and then you go drop your title to HIM! Well after Sunday Night I guess you will be on a two match losing streak against idiots. Andrew Hurley you are about to step up into the big times and looking at the last Adrenaline main event you haven't been able to do it yet as you lost to JD Lawson and Jonathan Collins. You have been in quite a funk the last two weeks. No worries the scenery won't change this week either. Andrew Hurley face the music you aren't ready to be thrust into the spotlight. You are just a role supporter. You haven't shown you can stand out. Sure you were Overdrive Champion ,but who exactly did you beat in that about two and half span? Cordozer Stevenson? Oh yeah I know you weren't allowed to face anyone of any status. That is simple you can't hang with the upper class. You showed it last Adrenaline. Fuck you showed it KITNO III. Enough about the past, lets talk about this week. This week you have Chris Staggs, a guy that wasn't pinned in the title match because of some jackass by the name of Cordozer Stevenson. Chris Staggs is ready to get back on his winning ways. This isn't a pay per view. Chris Staggs hasn't lost an Adrenaline match since the first of January. Andrew Hurley you are fighting "Mr. Fixation that is Sweeping the Nation". Eh damn that was as corny as a Hen spoof of City High. Anyway so Andrew do you believe that you can muster up the ability to outshine a main event level superstar? You haven't done it yet, why do it now? Once a chump always a chump. I mean fuck you rank right up there with Scorned as far as chumps go. Andrew Hurley, you have no title, you are on a losing streak, and now you face Chris Staggs, these last three weeks must really suck ass.

... Tag Team Champions...

Yep, Whateva Fo Sho' shocked the world well maybe not. I mean it was a for gone conclusion that Chris Staggs and Tommy Grady were going to walk out of Killing In The Name Of III with the SWF World Tag Team Titles. Now they have the titles and who is left to defend them against? Club 403? Are they still here? K2? Oh wait Skitzo hung up his boots. Oh wait I know THE GENERIC TAG TEAM! STATIC! No wait Dynamite Mutt quit the SWF. Fuck Whateva Fo Sho has the titles and no one to defend them against. Fucking scared pussies. Grow some and give them run for their money errrrrr titles.

...Hen...

Please quit with the singing....I mean fuck if you are going to sing, do it with a song that isn't a fucking one hit wonder. I mean shit City High? Aren't they stuck to singing the Real World Theme song now? Geez, now you think you are great cause why? You beat the weak link of the match? You beat Skitzo of all people, but you did win. You are the champ but guess what Chris Staggs is still a champion.

...Summing It Up...

Uh Summing it up? Shit I don't know what I said. Errr Andrew Hurley keep dreaming and keep reaching for the stars. You just might catch the one to send you to the top ,but this week the stars are still going to be out of your reach. As for the rest Whateva Fo Sho'  is going to own your asses and Hen it seems that you are the one that can't move on.

[ Chris Staggs:] Pete Ebdon?! NO FUNNY!!

[ Chris Naggs:] I agree, you just didn't have it.

Whatever...

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!

Uh yeah...

( Camera opens up with our duo sitting in the hotel room as Chris Staggs sits looking at his SWF World Tag Team Title. Chris Staggs just shakes his head and laughs as Chris Naggs comes into the picture and looks at Chris Staggs who just shakes his head and laughs again )

[ Chris Naggs:] What is it?

[ Chris Staggs:] I told you these belt wouldn't hold up our belts..

[ Chris Naggs:] Ugh! Hmmm how can I explain this to you? The belt is like a prize.

[ Chris Staggs:] Like in COCO PUFFS!?

[ Chris Naggs:] Yeah.

[ Chris Staggs:] Why couldn't we just get them out of the Coco Puffs?

[ Chris Naggs:] Its wouldn't fit?

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!

[ Chris Naggs:] So what do you want to do champ?

[ Chris Staggs:] Oh GO RIDE IN OUR NEW PIMPED OUT OFF THE HIZZY NIZZY CAR!

[ Chris Naggs:] Umm when did we get this?

[ Chris Staggs:] Yesterday.

[ Chris Naggs:] I knew I shouldn't have gone and gave your paycheck for KITNO III. I guess let's go.

( Chris Staggs and Chris Naggs exit the hotel room and walk down to the lobby. They exit and walk out of the hotel as Chris Staggs points )

[ Chris Staggs:] BAM! THERE IT IS!!!

[ Chris Naggs:] The Mystery Machine?

[ Chris Staggs:] Yep! OFF THE HIZZY ISN'T IT?

[ Chris Naggs:] I guess it will do.

[ Chris Staggs:] Let's GO!!

( Chris Staggs and Chris Naggs get into the Mystery Machine as they start the van. Chris Naggs looks back and sees a red headed stoner, a pretty girl and a butch. )

 [ Chris Naggs:] Who are these guys?

[ Stoner:] I am Shaggy.

[ Pretty Girl:] I am Daphne

[ Butch:] I am Velma.

[ Chris Naggs:] You got to be kidding me.

[ All:] Nope.

[ Chris Naggs:] Where is ummm Fred?

[ Shaggy:] He said something about meeting a special friend in a motel or something.

[ Chris Staggs:] Lets GO!!!

...Ten Minutes Later...

( Chris Staggs stops at the fork in the road and looks to Chris Naggs )

[ Chris Staggs:] Do we take the road with all the street lights or the extreme spooky dirt road?

[ Chris Naggs:] Let's take the safe road.

[ Chris Staggs:] What do you guys think?

[ All:] DIRT ROAD!!!

[ Chris Naggs:] *looking around* Its getting foggy around here.

[ Shaggy:] *putting down the bong* Sorry man...

[ Chris Naggs:] Oh great...

[ Chris Staggs:] *looking at the bong* EWWW does it make bubbles!?

[ Shaggy:] Even better...

[ Chris Staggs:] Can I try?

[ Chris Naggs:] NO! Do you want to wind up like Kyle Broadway?

[ Chris Staggs:] Cutting grass?! NOOOOOOOOO

( Chris Staggs turns around and makes a left to the extremely spooky dirt road as they drive a bit they come upon a old man appearing to being out of Deliverance holding up a Lateran as Chris Staggs slows down to stop. )

[ Chris Staggs:] Chris, roll down your window.

[ Chris Naggs:] No way.

[ Chris Staggs:] Fine.

( Chris Staggs roll down Chris Naggs's window from his driver side button. As the man leans in )

[ Chris Staggs:] HI I AM CHRIS STAGGS!

[ Old Man:] Go home, Get away from this place or you will be sorry HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

( Just then the man steps back and disappears into the fog )

[ Chris Staggs:] Screwball...

[ Shaggy:] ZOINKS!?

[ Chris Staggs:] What?

[ Shaggy:] I left the rest of my weed at home.

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!

( Chris Staggs drive down the road apiece as all of a sudden the van stops )

[ Chris Naggs:] Why did we stop.

[ Chris Staggs:] I don't know....

[ Velma:] You are out of gas.

[ Chris Staggs:] What look there is an old spooky house lets go in.

( Chris Staggs gets out as does the gang. Chris Naggs sighs as he gets out of the van )

[ Chris Naggs:] Why do we have to do a spoof of Scooby Doo.

( The gang approach as they open the door. )

( TO BE CONTINUED...)