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...Insane Quotes... "Instead of a Seeing Eye dog, what about a gun? It's cheaper than a dog, plus if you walk around shooting all the time people are going to get out of the way. Cars, too!" " Well Chris Staggs has the gun, Cordozer....MOVE!!!" ( Another week and yet another tag team victory for the duo of Tommy Grady and Chris Staggs. Then again was there any question that Chris Staggs and Tommy Grady were going to walk out of Sunday Night with victory? Now Hunter Tazi and Mike Steele did attack Whateva Fo Sho after the match. So they won the war right? Bullshit all they did was show their true colors....yellow. Well I guess that really didn't shock us did it? You have a sexually frustrated oversized Lumberjack and his little paid prostitute Mike Steele just waste 30,000 dollars getting their asses handing to them. You had to know that they would turn yellow and attack them after the match. It is just the way of the coward. Yeah they really did a number on Chris Staggs and Tommy Grady. Yeah I mean damn I am surprised that you didn't KILL them. Please bitch...everyone knows wrestling isn't real. Well that is unless you have a guy who thinks it is real. Thus is the reason why Tommy Grady isn't going to wrestle this week. He is a little bit sore on hit knee. Oh well he will be fine next week. Face it Hunter Tazi you can try and kill us ,but that just means Chris Staggs and Tommy Grady are getting to you and your fucking bald ass manager. You want to kill us...yeah go ahead and try. We will be back the next week ready to go. Hunter Tazi and Johnny O. you are two fucking obsessed queers who is caught up in attacking Whateva Fo Sho...get a damn hobby. Try collecting stamps...you might actually be good at that. Oh well, anyway it looks like the tag team division gets a break this week as Chris Staggs heads into singles action. Yeah, Chris Staggs returns to singles action ,but not just for your regular singles match ,no, it is for the final spot in the four way World Title match at Killing In The Name Of III. All Chris Staggs has to do now is get pass a man by the name of ...Cordozer Stevenson... He deserves to be put in the main event level. He is going to be our next World Champion. He is next big thing. He is just a guy waiting for the right push. He has beaten Strick Carrington after all right? Please...who hasn't beaten him other than A2. Yet that means he has to be the final guy in the four way. Though do we forget that he has gotten quite a losing streak after that win? Did the victory go to your head? I believe it did...I mean you then lose to Skitzo, what the fuck was that?, Hen, okay maybe he is better than you, and now to Tiger!?! TIGER!? What the fuck1? How do you lose to TIGER!? Oh wait your excuse was Lloyd got pinned. Yeah that may be very we;; true but where the hell were you to break up the count? Now with that behind you, you believe that you are ready to get in the spotlight. You are going to going to break the losing streak on Chris Staggs. Come on...you let a fluke victory go to your head. Cordozer Stevenson you are not ready for the big time. Go back and feud with the "Resurrected" Jeff Harris. That is where you belong. You don't belong with the big dogs yet. Now I know this sounds a little bit egotistical ,but I mean come on the guy's biggest win is over Strick Carrington...Greg The Perky T.G.I Waiter beat him for crying out loud. Hell Chris Staggs defeated Strick Carrington for his first World Title. What a fitting way for Chris Staggs to get his second SWF World Title by beating Strick Carrington once again for the title. Carey, a storyline doesn't get any better than that. You know that I am speaking the truth Carey. Cordozer Stevenson so you believe Chris Staggs has ran out of chances? He doesn't deserve another shot at the SWF World Title? Well Cordozer I guess you can prove that to be true this Tuesday Night when you try and prevent him from doing that. Cordozer, all you have to do is pin Chris Staggs for the one two three. Though that is something that no one has been able to do in over a month. Can you be the guy to do it? Nah...you will be too weakened from fighting the likes of Mike Lloyd and Tiger. You said it...Chris Staggs had an easy week compared to your week. You whine and bitch about Chris Staggs having an easier match. That statement alone shows that you can't handle to pressure of the main event status. Your statement says you are not ready for it. You complain cause you have to face Tiger and Mike Lloyd...Welcome to the big times. Hell Cordozer you are already making excuses before the bell has rung. You are admitting that you know you haven't the slightest chance of winning this match. Maybe with that out in the open the next couple of days you can come up with something better than Chris Staggs didn't have a hard fight last week. That right there is just plain weak. We both have the same amount of time to get back to full strength. Cordozer Stevenson the losing streak doesn't stop this week as Chris Staggs is going to be the one in the final spot of Killing In The Name Of III. Why even fight fate just put on some of those 1977 wrestling matches for your next promo. They will have the same effect as you actually trying to comeback and exchange words with the Stagg-o-matic. Though Chris Staggs must know that Hunter Tazi and Johnny O will probably and try to screw it up with their fixation with Whateva Fo Sho. ...Johnny O and Hunter Tazi... You lose the match...move on with your lives. You can pay a million dollars for the best partner and still lose cause you are not focusing on the problem. Hell just look at the last match. Now Johnny O blamed Mike Steele for losing to match yet who was pinned? None other than the sexually frustrated oversized lumberjack himself. Johnny O. your monster is the problem. He can't beat Chris Staggs. That is probably why Chris Staggs is the second contender for the World Title. Huh? I can't believe that you are actually running an successful business with the idiotic shit that you spit. You say that Chris Staggs and Tommy Grady are going to be KILLED. What the fuck is your deal with killing people? You can't kill people. It is against to law in any part of the world. Fuck it Johnny O and Hunter Tazi you two are not worth my time. I much rather being talking about... Strick Carrington, Skitzo, and Hen I mean after all that is who Chris Staggs will be facing at KITNO III after he gets pass Bitch Cassidy. You look at the three and you see three guys that Chris Staggs has a chance of breaking his World Title shot woes with. You have Hen, we all know that it took about four guys to beat Chris Staggs for the Number One Contender of the SWF World Title. Now that he pissed off about half the guys that attack Chris Staggs, the four on one assault won't happen. Then we have Skitzo who hasn't done much of nothing more than hanging out with Kyle Broadway and being World Tag Team Champions for a bit till KB got fired and came back and got fired again. Skitzo, you are not going to get the job done either. Finally we come to the champ himself as he is paranoid that everyone is out to get him. Well I guess that is true. Though the guy is in the same boat as Chris Staggs. Both men have had numerous shots at the World Title and have won the title only once. Well Strick you reign at the top is over. You didn't make it to the ring last time you and Chris Staggs faced for the World Title. Maybe this time Chris Staggs and you can meet eye to eye. These three men are all beatable, just like this week and Cordozer Stevenson. ... Summing It Up... Cordozer Stevenson.....you're going to lose. Hen...... you're going to lose. Skitzo.... you're going to die. Strick Carrington......you're going to lose. Hunter Tazi and Johnny O.......you're going to lose twice!!!! Really though Cordozer Stevenson you are going to choke faster than a virgin girl giving her first blowjob. The rest of you...your times are coming at the pay per view. Chris Staggs is going to do it this time. ( Camera opens up in a dark room that is outlined by many candles around the room as you see a man with his face in his hands. This seems to go on for a few minutes as finally the man raises his head from his hands which shows Chris Staggs looking depressed. Chris Naggs walks in with a NECKBRACE. Chris Staggs doesn't notice as he looks forward at a picture. ) [ Chris Staggs:] I can't believe he is gone.... ( The camera swings to the picture.)
[ Chris Staggs:] Why does God take them so young? [ Chris Naggs:] Umm what? He was 74 years old. [ Chris Staggs:] And your point? [ Chris Naggs:] He was OLD!!! [ Chris Staggs:] NO!!! [ Chris Naggs:] He was OLD!!! [ Chris Staggs:] I'M NOT LISTENING TO YOU!!!! ( Chris Staggs holds his hands over his ears ) [ Chris Staggs:] LALALALALALALALLOYD!!!!!!!!!!! ( Chris Naggs just looks at him. ) [ Chris Staggs:] HEY!!! [ Chris Naggs:] What? [ Chris Staggs:] Let's go pay our inspections to Mr. Rogers. [ Chris Naggs:] Huh? [ Chris Staggs:] Go to the funeral.. [ Chris Naggs:] We don't know where it is. [ Chris Staggs:] Dude this is television....we just need to fade to black.. [ Chris Naggs:] Huh? [ Chris Staggs:] Phantom DIS BIATCH! [ Chris Naggs:] Umm what? [ Chris Staggs:] *snaps his fingers* ( Camera fades out and back in with Chris Staggs and Chris Naggs with NECKBRACE dressed in all black. They walk toward a funeral home.) [ Chris Staggs:] Ooooooh Here come the men in black. [ Chris Naggs:] Chris... [ Chris Staggs:] The GALAXY DEFENDERS!!! [ Chris Naggs:] Chris... [ Chris Staggs:] Ooooooh Here come the men in black [ Chris Naggs:] Chris... [ Chris Staggs:] They won't let you rememberrrrrrrrrrrrrr.. [ Chris Naggs:] DAMNIT CHRIS!!! [ Chris Staggs:] Huh? [ Chris Naggs:] Quit singing. [ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO! [ Chris Naggs:] You want to go in... [ Chris Staggs:] *sniff sniff* I think I am ready... ( Chris Staggs begins to walk then stops. ) [ Chris Staggs:] I CAN'T DO IT!!! [ Chris Naggs:] Damnit go in... [ Chris Staggs:] NO YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!!! [ Chris Naggs:] I will rent the Scooby Doo Movie for you on the way back. [ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!? ( Chris Staggs takes a deep breath and walks in as you see many people crying and talking. Chris Staggs walks into the room were the coffin is Chris Staggs loses it ) [ Chris Staggs:] NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TAKE ME GOD TAKE ME!!!! [ Chris Naggs:] Uh Chris you are making a scene. [ Chris Staggs:] I DON'T CARE....MR. ROGERS WAS A DAMN HERO!!! HE DIDN'T DESERVE TO DIE SO YOUNG!!!! [ Chris Naggs:] Uh Chris, he was old... [ Chris Staggs:] HE WAS YOUNG IN HIS HEART MAN!! YOUNG IN HIS HEART!!! [ Chris Naggs:] Chris control yourself. [ Chris Staggs:] WHO WILL TEACH KIDS HOW TO TIE THERE SHOES!!! [ Chris Naggs:] ..... ( Chris Staggs approaches the coffin and peers in...) [ Chris Staggs:] OH MY GOD!!! THE ANIMALS HAVE TURNED THEM INTO A OLD WOMEN!!!! YOU ANIMALS!!! AND AN UGLY WOMEN AT THAT!!!! [ Chris Naggs:] Chris we are in the wrong room. [ Chris Staggs:] You sure? [ Chris Naggs:] Uh yeah.. [ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!!! ( The duo leaves as they stop and look at the other room as we see a bunch of kids and celebrities are here. Okay mostly kids and their parents ) [ Chris Staggs:] WHY!??..... [ Chris Naggs:] Don't start. [ Chris Staggs:] Fo Sho... ( Chris Staggs looks around as he stops and points ) [ Chris Staggs:] OH MY GOD IT'S JANET JACKSON!!! [ Chris Naggs:] Where?! [ Chris Staggs:] OVER THERE!!! [ Chris Naggs:] Dude that is Michael Jackson. [ Chris Staggs:] Oh....ITS MICHAEL JACKSON!!!! ( Chris Staggs and Chris Naggs walks over to Michael Jackson ) [ Chris Staggs:] HI I AM CHRIS STAGGS!!! [ Michael Jackson:] Hi... ( Chris Staggs looks at Chris Naggs ) [ Chris Staggs:] Are you sure that isn't Janet Jackson? [ Chris Naggs:] I'm positive. [ Chris Staggs:] So you are paying your respects to Mr. Rogers? [ Michael Jackson:] Uh yeah.. [ Chris Staggs:] He was a great man.. ( Michael Jackson looking at the kids ) [ Michael Jackson:] Uh huh...Hey kids...you want to spend the night at Neverland Ranch? [ Kids:] YEAH!!!!!!!!!!! [ Chris Staggs:] OH OH OH!!! CHRIS CAN WE GO...SLEEPOVERS RULE!!! [ Chris Naggs:] NO! [ Chris Staggs:] YOU NEVER LET ME HAVE ANY FUN!!! [ Chris Naggs:] You don't want to go there. [ Chris Staggs:] FINE! ( Chris Staggs looks around. ) [ Chris Staggs:] Where is King Friday? Where is the land of Make Believe citizens? [ Chris Naggs:] Umm... [ Chris Staggs:] They don't know!!! SOMEONE MUST TELL THEM!!! ( Chris Staggs looks proud as Chris Naggs just rolls his eyes. ) [ Chris Staggs:] Tomorrow......THE LAND OF MAKE BELIEVE!!! ( Chris Staggs and Chris Naggs walk out as Michael Jackson is seen loading a van full of kids. Chris Staggs stops and looks at the kids. ) [ Chris Staggs:] So Michael Jackson is going to be the next Mr. Rogers? Right? [ Chris Naggs:] I guess in a sense. [ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO! ( END PROMO)
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