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Insane Quotes Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what IS that thing?! "Kinda like the like the way I have to laugh when I hear that Xtreme Impact thinks they have a chance in the match." ( When did the SWF become the revolving door of the industry? When did wrestlers decide they can come and go as they please. The SWF has became a safety net for everyone. There are numerous examples of this. You have Kyle Broadway...the guy has been fired more times than not. He has been in and out of the SWF like twenty times. Though at least he was fired. Unlike Jason Rothchild who comes only when the SWF is going good so he can say he made the SWF. What a douche bag. Then we have A2 who left the SWF after he lost the world title like most of the past champions did and he tried his hand as sucking up to Tha Dynasty. That fell through and the SWF caught his ass. Then we go farther back to Till Rammstein who was in the SWF late early spring then just disappeared. He quit showing up, almost a year later he shows up. Next there is Namen Hammer and Ned Norsemen who I thought would have retired, but guess what THEY'RE BACK!!! They are ready to bore a whole new audience. We also have the first World Champion of this era who has came back late last year and has accomplished nothing. These are just some of the more known returns to the SWF. I am sure there are more wrestlers that have used the revolving door that is the SWF. Chris Carey why don't you lock the door next time? Wait you couldn't do that then half the roster would be gone within two week. Speaking of two weeks that is when Chris Staggs has to prove his is worthy of the final spot in the KITNO III main event when he takes on Cordozer. Chris Staggs will accomplish that and then go on and finally achieve his second title reign. Hen, Skitzo, nor Strick can do anything about it. This is the Year Of The Idiot after all and what better way then having the idiot the SWF World Heavyweight Champion along one half of the SWF Tag Team Champions as he comes one step closer with the latter. Jonathan Collins "Cut my life into pieces this is my last resort...." That get your attention. I mean I know how much you like reciting alternative rock songs. I feel like I am listening to a rock station when I view one of your promos...not really. I just think to myself why the fuck is he so obsessed with lyrics. Then it dawns on me...the guy doesn't know what to say so he thinks a song with describe it better. Well Jonathan, you can run back and tell all the guys from GWA that lyrics mean shit. I mean what the fuck do I care what Three Doors Down says in a song. Wow the lyrics mean more than original....freaky!!! Bullshit...Jonathan Collins you can come out call Chris Staggs a rip off, that he is smarter than he letting on, yet when the day comes to an end we all know that you are reaching for things to talk about. I mean you went on cause he mispronounced your name...Jonathan...Jonathon. I don't really hear the difference ,but you are very noticing details aren't you? Yet you are so focused on the details you lose focus of the main picture and that is why you will not come out victorious in the match against Whateva Fo Sho. That and your partner has yet to be seen on SWF television. Jonathan Collins now I know you were in the FWF while Chris Staggs was there. Hell I think you have a win over him there. That though doesn't mean much cause we all know that the FWF was ran on POLITICS!! JR WHAT?! Sorry about that. Anyway Jonathan Collins the SWF is a whole different breed of wrestling. Chris Carey doesn't use politics when it deals with those outside the Inner Sacrum. Jonathan Collins, I know that you are going to say that you and Colibri Jr. are going to surprise a few teams but you know what one of those teams aren't going to be Whateva Fo Sho. Though Jonathan when Tommy and Chris do hand Xtreme Impact their first lost I got some lyrics for your next promo... Soy un perdedor Soy un perdedor I know Jonathan it isn't a cool band like you want but it does describe you next week...Now as your partner goes. He might want to stay hidden. Colibri Jr. The Aztecs was a great civilization. They were very inventive. They were extremely intelligent. They were an advanced civilization. Do you find a pattern in these sentences? Of course you do...all of them are in past tense you want to know why? The Aztec Empire fell in 1521. Yet isn't it amazing that right here in the SWF that we have our very on Aztec Xtremist? Or did? Or where the fuck is he? Did the last Aztec finally die? Wait may Colibri just graduated from San Diego State. That has to be the logical answer. Oh well which ever he is...does it matter? I mean the guy hasn't shown his face yet. He hasn't even spoken a word. Now if I was Jonathan Collins...God forbid that I never am...I would be wonder if my tag partner was going to show up. It appears to me that Xtreme Impact is becoming a dud on arrival. They beat the Hebrew Homies so that wasn't much of an impact. I mean you beat a B-List movie star and a Jew. That doesn't really scream "GREAT TAG TEAM" does it? I didn't think so anyway back to you Colibri Jr. I don't care if you show up or not, the only one that does is your partner. If you don't that means Whateva Fo Sho will have an easy night at the office. Colibri Jr. just face it you are nothing more than an average wrestler with no push. You have no chance of getting pushed cause well you have nothing to offer. I am surprised that you are still here. Really you have just stayed even. You lose some matches and you win some matches. You don't have any type of losing or winning streak. Hell you are just a little below average. Why am I still talking about you. We don't know if you are going to show up. Colibri Jr. you want to be called Xtreme yet you haven't done shit to earn that name. You want us to think you deserve a shot at a title and you don't even bother to speak. Colibri Jr. you are the weak link.....goodbye...Damn I always wanted to do that. That was so lame though. Colibri Jr. you are going to be the one that costs your team the match. You know it, I know it, Tommy knows it, Chris knows it, and Jonathan Collins knows it. Hunter Tazi So Johnny O pays 30,000 dollars for a tag partner and the best you can get is Mike Steele!? Really you just wasted 30,000 dollars cause Chris Staggs should know as well as anyone that Mike Steele can't carry his load. He quit on Chris Staggs during a tag team tourney . He couldn't take it so it just up and left to go gush over Jason Rothchild. Yeah we know...Jason Rothchild quit and you ran behind him like his little bitch. That is just sad. So Hunter and Johnny O it appears that you got yourself a bitch to tag with you. So why should we be worried about you or Mike Steele.........VERBAL SYTLINGS!!!! WHAT? Chris Staggs don't even think about it [ Chris Staggs:] Damn... Anyway Hunter Tazi you haven't got a shot. You want to attack his grandma go ahead. You want to do all this shit fine. When we get in the ring though you and Mike Steele are going to experience one Degrading Job. Johnny O you are going to be out 30,000 dollars after this is all said and done. Summing It Up So Xtreme Impact wants to surprise Whateva Fo Sho and steal a win please....Michael Jackson acting normal will happen before that ever happens. Face it the team of Whateva Fo Sho is just too much for you guys to handle and you will realize this at Adrenaline. ( Camera fades in as we see the duo of Chris Staggs and Chris Naggs walking toward the building. Chris Staggs looks mad as Chris Naggs looks at him as he shakes his head as Chris Staggs looks at Chris Naggs then becomes madder as Chris Naggs sighs heavy. ) [ Chris Naggs:] I know I am going to regret this but why are you mad? [ Chris Staggs:] You know why. [ Chris Naggs:] No I don't. [ Chris Staggs:] I am missing Scooby Doo cause of this. [ Chris Naggs:] You probably seen it. [ Chris Staggs:] This one could have been a new one. [ Chris Naggs:] All of them are reruns. [ Chris Staggs:] Have you seen them all? [ Chris Naggs:] No.. [ Chris Staggs:] How do you know then? [ Chris Naggs:] Ummm cause it didn't have Scrappy Doo.. [ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO! ( Chris Staggs expression turns to idiotic happiness as they walk into the building toward the elevator. Chris Staggs shoves Chris Naggs out of the way as the doors open. Chris Staggs presses all the buttons as Chris Naggs just glares at Chris Staggs. The elevator doors close. ) Five Minutes Later... ( The doors open again as we see Tad standing there again with a grin on his face. ) [ Tad:] Hey Buddy....TGIF!!! [ Chris Staggs:] Greg? [ Tad:] Huh? [ Chris Staggs:] Wha? [ Tad:] Thank God It's Friday!!! WOOOOOO!!! WEEKEND HERE I COME!!! [ Chris Staggs:] Fo Sho... [ Tad:] Rad...Yeah me and some babes are going paint the town red. [ Chris Staggs:] Isn't that breaking a law. [ Tad:] No I am not going to paint it red literally. It was an expression. [ Chris Staggs:] An expression is this... ( SMILES!! FROWNS!!!! SAD!!!! PUPPY DOG EYES!!! GRINS!!!) [ Tad:] SUPER!!! [ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!!! [ Tad:] So what you cool dudes going to do? [ Chris Staggs:] Nadda... [ Chris Naggs:] Umm Chris you have a match. [ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!!! [ Tad:] SUPER!! CAN I COME!!! [ Chris Staggs:] No... [ Tad:] Please.. [ Chris Staggs:] Weren't you painting this week... [ Tad:] I lied, I am really a sad 30 year old man who lives in his mother's basement. [ Chris Staggs:] Jimmy Harmon!? [ Tad:] Please........ [ Chris Staggs:] Ummm no. ( Tad lowers his head and walks off behind a cubical and sobs loudly. ) [ Chris Naggs:] Time to go to work. [ Chris Staggs:] HI HO HI HO OFF THE WORK WE GO!!! *Begins to whistle* [ Chris Naggs:] QUIT IT!! [ Chris Staggs:] Fo sho... ( Chris Staggs and Chris Naggs walk to the cubical as Chris Staggs takes a seat. ) [ Chris Staggs:] I'm ready to go.. [ Chris Naggs:] You gotta take two calls. [ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!? [ Chris Naggs:] FO SHO! ( Just then the phone rings..) [ Chris Staggs:] Yellow!! [ Caller #1:] Colibro Sr. [ Chris Staggs:] That your name? [ Colibro Sr:] Si [ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO! [ Colibro Sr:] ........... [ Chris Staggs:] Yellow!! [ Colibro Sr:] ........... [ Chris Staggs:] Yellow!! [ Colibro Sr:] ........... [ Chris Staggs:] Umm I think he died... [ Chris Naggs:] Oh well...you tried. [ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO! ( Chris Staggs hangs up the phone as he begins to play on the computer...he gets on the internet and surfs around He looks shocked..) [ Chris Naggs:] What? [ Chris Staggs:] LUUSERRRRRRRRRR [ Chris Naggs:] Huh? [ Chris Staggs:] An efed....what kinda of losers do fantasy wrestling. [ Chris Naggs:] No idea.. [ Chris Staggs:] The Su.... ( Just then the phone rings as Chris Staggs picks up the phone. ) [ Chris Staggs:] Yellow!! [ Caller #2:] Yes...I am Jason Storm.. [ Chris Staggs:] I AM CHRIS STAGGS!!! [ Jason Storm:] Yeah...I got a problem [ Chris Staggs:] It's not a math problem is it? [ Jason Storm:] No....Its life. [ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO [ Jason Storm:] I'm one step closer to the edge and I'm about to break!!! [ Chris Staggs:] Dude...Linkin Park is so yesterday... [ Chris Naggs:] When did you become a valley girl? [ Chris Staggs:] Shhhh.... [ Jason Storm:] Crawling in my skin/these wounds they will not heal/fear is how I fall/confusing what is real [ Chris Staggs:] Well......If there was a problem, Yo, I'll solve it Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it!! ( Chris Staggs drops the phone and begins to dance!!! He dances for a couple of minutes then Chris Staggs picks the phone back up. ) [ Chris Staggs:] WORD TO YA MOTHER!!!! [ Jason Storm:] Ummm LINKIN PARK RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [ Chris Staggs:] LOSER!! KILL YOURSELF!!! [ Jason Storm:] FINE I WILL!!! [ Chris Staggs:] Yellow? [ Jason Storm:] ............. [ Chris Staggs:] He hung up.. ( Chris Staggs hangs up the phone. ) [ Chris Staggs:] Yo man -- Let's get out of here! Word to your mother! [ Chris Naggs:] Quit with the Vanilla Ice... [ Chris Staggs:] Quit biting my style!! ( Chris Staggs and Chris Naggs leave the hotline as they get into the elevator as Chris Staggs hits all the buttons as the door closes ) ( END PROMO ) THIS WEEK'S MORAL: No idiot can help losers from harming themselves.
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