If you go flying back through time, and you see somebody else flying forward into the future, it's probably best to avoid eye contact

"Exactly what you do when Club 403 starts talking about Jason Rothchild"

( Well Whateva Fo Sho has taken down the Hen Cult with ease. Though you look around at the tag team division and you think to yourself is this a joke? I mean you have the Hebrew Homos, IFW Rejects, Carrington sisters, Jay-Z's Fan Club, Dunn Losers, GWA wannabes, Inner Rectum, some others, and Club Rip Off.. The Hebrew Homos come out with their Hen cult like tendencies and think they can defeat THE only tag team with any sense of marketability. Lent started early for those bitches. The IFW Rejects show up and think that they can run all over the SWF. They need to look in the mirror. Do they think they can even run over a David Bell or Luke Lawless? I think not. Cyrus Stone is the poster child for PMS. Then you have Hawk Hendricks who well lets face it  a complete loser. As we move down the line we see the Carrington Sisters. Sure Strick is the World Champion but this is the same guy that lost to Greg The Perky T.G.I. Waiter. Next we have Chris Carrington who has I guess started watch the GWA with this gothic gimmick. Now if these teams aren't bad enough then we have the Jay-Z fan club with Shawn "Hovi Baby" Jackson and Joe "Shaftonomics" Shafton. One who thinks he is Jay-Z and another one who thinks that talks about some Shaftonomics. What a bunch of fucking losers. Next we have Dunn Losers these two guys lose a match then change there fucking name. What will happen the next time? You will change it Unemployed Inc. Wait you are Carey's muscle. Please I think a girl scout could more fear in the SWF roster than you can. Next we have the GWA wannabes....you know I always wondered who the 3 people that watched that shit where. I guess they all are employed in the SWF. Shakespeare must be turning in his grave. Then we go into Andrew Hurley and Mike Steele. Inner Rectum blow your load already. Mike Steele you cost Chris Staggs the World Tag Titles the last tournament and you will cost you and Hurley the tag straps this time around. You can bank on that. Also in the tag division we have some others that seem to be randomly put together. Though the tag teams won't do much except give the upper tag teams a victory in this round robin tourney. The tag team division is a joke and they is why the two lowest IQ wrestlers in the SWF are the odds on favorites to win the SWF World Tag Titles. Though this week Whateva Fo Sho will take on Team Rip Off.

Jackrabbit

Well Well Well first Whateva Fo Sho has to take out Hen's Cult now we have to take out Jason Rothchild's Fan Club. Its getting sad when you see wrestlers trying to get pushes by riding the coattails of another wrestler. Jackrabbit now I don't know much about you cause I really didn't keep up with the W3. You see I was too busy wrestling in the SWF. Now from viewing your last promo I can tell that you that you are in awe of Chris Staggs. Who can blame ya? I mean the guy is amazing. Jackrabbit if you play your cards right I just might be able to get Chris Staggs to sign an autograph for you. Wait better yet what about a signed picture of Chris Staggs? I mean damn Jackrabbit are your lips getting chapped? You kissed Chris Staggs's ass most of the promo. Sure you try to get in the argument of who was the bigger idiot. Well Jackrabbit after watching this promo here, there will be no doubt in your mind that Chris Staggs is the bigger idiot. Jackrabbit you know that already. You can try and say that Chris Staggs is just using a gimmick. That isn't true. How could he have the idiot gimmick down so good? Jackrabbit you haven't said anything that hasn't been said before. Hell Chris Staggs had to take a damn Sanity Test before he got his title shot against A2. Chris Carey himself knows Chris Staggs is a certified idiot. Now I need to get back on track. This idiot thing got me on somewhat of a rant. Now Jackrabbit you love the fat women huh? You like the cushion for your pushin'. I understand why you do. I mean when the fat women can't feel you inside of them you can always use the excuse that there ass is too big to feel the full affect. Now Jackrabbit you claim that the Jason Rothchild Fan Club will become the best tag team in the SWF? Yet you struggled to defeat David Dunn and Quark of all people. Jackrabbit give me a break ,before you claim yourself the best beat someone that has an ounce of talent. You should be ashamed of yourself for even thinking that you are the best cause you beat Dunn and Quark. Jackrabbit on Adrenaline you will bare witness to may one of the most perfect tag teams  to ever form. I mean damn Tommy Grady and Chris Staggs they are too stupid to turn on each other, they are too dumb to get an ego. They are the perfect tag team. You will soon find that out.

Kryptonite

Ah yes Kryptonite, excuses.......excuses......excuses. Get it up already. So you were scared to face Chris Staggs? SO WHAT? That is a quite surprisingly large number of people. See Kryptonite, you are what is wrong with the SWF today. You come into the SWF thinking that you can get some type of cheat push to a title cause you are supposedly Jason Rothchild's biggest fan. He claims he made the SWF? He didn't make shit. He just capitalized on the downtime. His three month reign was surpassed by Chris Staggs's SWF Television title reign. You see Kryptonite...Chris Staggs held a title that was passed around more than your mother when the sailors dock. Yes that many times till Chris Staggs captured the title. He defeated if throughout three and half months till he won the World Championship title. Though I know what you are thinking those are two different things. You are right Kryptonite. They are two different things kinda like you and Jason Rothchild. I know Chris Staggs never won a match against your God. I know that. Yet Chris Staggs is already 1-0 against you. You are not Jason Rothchild. Hell I bet he is tired of your damn "I'm Rothchild's Biggest Fan" gimmick. Kryptonite do us all a favor and quit worshipping Jason Rothchild. HE IS RETIRED! He isn't here. So what you are basically saying now is that you are the biggest fan of out of work, overweight, coward?" Wow what a gimmick that is. Kryptonite get it through your thick skull. We don't care about you and we don't care about Jason Rothchild. He is just another name in the record books. I am growing tired of Chris Staggs and Tommy Grady basically facing lackeys. Then like I said earlier the whole tag team division is a joke. Whateva Fo Sho is the only creditable tag team in the division and they are complete idiots. Now Kryptonite you said that you can defeat Whateva Fo Sho in a handicap match? Are you thinking at all? You laid down for Chris Staggs what makes us think that you would actually stand a chance in the ring with both of them. Hell you would be like a virgin in a gangbang. You wouldn't know what to do first. Kryptonite next time before you open your mouth why don't you think about what you are going to say before you actually say it. I mean if you do then I, The Stagg-o-matic Narrator, wouldn't have to constantly rip you apart verbally. Run along I hear Rothchild needs you to wipe his ass.

Summing It Up

Another week and yet another poor excuse for a tag team. Club 403 you have as much chance of winning the match at Adrenaline as Anna Nicole Smith outwits anything. You see Club 403 your chances are slim to none. I am banking on none.

( Camera fades in with Chris Naggs sitting down reading the paper. He takes a sip of coffee and sets it down. He flips the page as you hear something running down the hall then a "THUD" against the door. Then you hear an "OW". A few moments later Chris Staggs walks in the hotel room rubbing his head but a big smile upon his face. Chris Naggs puts down the paper and hops down from the stool and walks over to Chris Staggs. )

[ Chris Naggs:] Why are you so happy?

[ Chris Staggs:] I am going to represent the USA in the Olympics!!!!

[ Chris Naggs:] Umm Chris you are Canadian and the Olympics aren't until another year.

[ Chris Staggs:] Nope they are this week....and I don't want to be part of the Canadian team...They look like Hunter Tazi.

[ Chris Naggs:] What kind of Olympics is this?

[ Chris Staggs:] The very best...

[ Chris Naggs:] Which is?

[ Chris Staggs:] Well since everyone says I am special....THE SPECIAL OLYMPICS!!!

[ Chris Naggs:] Chris, the Special Olympics is for the mentally challenged...

[ Chris Staggs:] Oh it is? I should be able to outwit them with my superior intelligence...

[ Chris Naggs:] Sure...

[ Chris Staggs:] I knew you would agree.

[ Chris Naggs:] Umm right.

[ Chris Staggs:] But when I signed up I was surrounded by a bunch of retards...

[ Chris Naggs:] That's not PC!

[ Chris Staggs:] Private Chat?!

[ Chris Naggs:] Politically Correct.

[ Chris Staggs:] What does the government have to do with retards?

[ Chris Naggs:] It's not right to call them that.

[ Chris Staggs:] But....

[ Chris Naggs:] But what?

[ Chris Staggs:] Everyone calls me a retard backstage.

[ Chris Naggs:] Well ummm....look Scooby Doo is on!!!

[ Chris Staggs:] OH BOY!!! SCOOBY DOO WHERE ARE YOU!!! THERE YOU ARE!!! YOU ARE ON THE TELEVISION!!!

( Chris Staggs runs jumps over the back of the couch and lands on the cushions. He then looks fixated on the television. )

30 Minute Laters...

( Chris Staggs looks around and shakes his head laughing. )

[ Chris Staggs:] Think God Scooby and gang always figure out the monster is a bad guy and always catch him. They are so school. Maybe Grady and I can do that if these tag team thingy doesn't work out.

[ Chris Naggs:] Chris....it's a cartoon.

[ Chris Staggs:] They are on television...

[ Chris Naggs:] Anyway it's always the first mean guy they meet.

[ Chris Staggs:] Well Mr. Know-it-all why don't you get a talking dog and got find haunted houses.

[ Chris Naggs:] .......

[ Chris Staggs:] Scared HUH!?

[ Chris Naggs:] No I just couldn't think of anything to respond to that retarded statement.

[ Chris Staggs:] CP!!! CP!!!

[ Chris Naggs:] What?

[ Chris Staggs:] You called me a retard.

[ Chris Naggs:] No I called the statement retarded.

[ Chris Staggs:] Oh....umm, I can't wait till tomorrow....I REPRESENT THE USA as the first ever Canadian to do that.

[ Chris Naggs:] Right...

( KNOCK KNOCK )

[ Chris Naggs:] Who the fuck is that?

[ Chris Staggs:] Scooby Doo? He probably heard you badmouthing him. Dogs can hear really far away.

[ Chris Naggs:] Somehow I doubt that.

[ Chris Staggs:] The suspense is kill me open the door!!!

( Chris Naggs opens the door as a fat black man that resembles the dad off Family Matters stands there. Chris Naggs looks at him confusingly. )

[ Chris Naggs:] Can I help you?

[ Family Matters Look Alike:] Yes sum' I'm Winslow and I am here to train Mist Staggs.

[ Chris Naggs:] Help him for what?

.[ Winslow:] For ad Special Olympic-a

[ Chris Naggs:] Wait Chris you need a trainer for the Special Olympics?

[ Chris Staggs:] Yeah those wheelchair people look tough. Plus they are in WHEELCHAIRS!!!

[ Chris Naggs:] Okay I guess you can train...I mean it couldn't hurt

[ Chris Staggs:] WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

[ Winslow:] Come on food.

[ Chris Staggs:] Mr. T ?

[ Winslow:] Whatcom say?

[ Chris Staggs:] Nothing...

[ Winslow:] That'd what I thought. Now foo you are goin' run like a dog.

[ Chris Staggs:] On all fours?

[ Winslow:] NO FOO!! You are goin run like everything...here put dis on.

[ Chris Staggs:] It's PINK!

[ Winslow:] I kno.

[ Chris Staggs:] MMMMkay.

( Chris Staggs goes into the bedroom and changes. He returns out as Winslow and him leave to go train. Winslow gets on his bike and looks back. )

[ Chris Staggs:] Where's my bike?

[ Winslow:] FOO YOU RUN!!!

[ Chris Staggs:] Oh Okay...

[ Winslow:] Lets go!

[ Chris Staggs:] VROOM VROOM!!!! FIRST GEAR!!!!!!

[ Chris Staggs:] VROOM VROOM!!!! SECOND GEAR!!!!!!

[ Chris Staggs:] VROOM VROOM!!!! THIRD GEAR!!!!!!

[ Chris Staggs:] VROOM VROOM!!!! FOURTH GEAR!!!!!

[ Chris Staggs:] VROOM VROOM!!!! NOS BUTTON!!!!!

[ Chris Staggs:] VROOM VROOM!!!! MACH ONE!!!!!

[ Chris Staggs:] AGHHHHHHHHHH OVERHEATING OF CAR!!!!

( Chris Staggs stops and falls down. Winslow rides back )

[ Winslow:] FOO!!!! GET UP!

[ Chris Staggs:] NEED NEW TRANSMISSION!!

[ Winslow:] Damn cracka

Six Hours Later...

[ Winslow:] You ready to go home?

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!

[ Chris Staggs:] YAY!!!

[ Winslow:] We be done foo. You are going to beat those special olympics.

[ Chris Staggs:] OH BOY!!! WATCH OUT RETARDS HERE I COME!!!

( END PROMO )