"If I come back as an animal in my next lifetime, I hope it's some type of parasite, because this is the part where I take it EASY! "
Easy as this upcoming match

( The wrestling world travels in a cycle. The cycle of gimmicks and the cycle of great business. The SWF right now is booming with free agents coming out from the woodworks. We have known superstars and we have newcomers to this wrestling circle. Look at the roster right now...the SWF has more wrestlers than they can book. The SWF has over 50 something wrestlers now. The SWF right now is experiencing great business. It hasn't experience this type of business since last spring. Let's hope this time with most of all federation around the SWF closing that Chris Carey can keep them here.  This cycle is sometimes great and sometimes bad. Though the cycle of gimmicks are annoying. You can look at the wrestling world as you see gimmicks come and go. I am not ashamed of this ,but Chris Staggs has rolled with the cycle.  Though Chris Staggs has taken each gimmick to the top. Something must of the SWF can't say. Though you will never see Chris Staggs turn into your typical street thug. One reason is Chris Staggs isn't BLACK! Something that some of the roster should look in the mirror and see what race they are. I get tired of the wiggers try and talk about the street. The only fucking street you been on is the street in the suburb you grew up in. Then all your promos are basically tracks from 50 Cent, Jay Z, or any hot rapper at the time. Please white people leave the project gimmick to our ethic friends. Then we now have the invasion of the idiots. Chris Staggs has started this damn fad. The problem is Chris Staggs isn't using a damn gimmick. He is playing himself. Now I talked to Tommy Grady at length and I got to admit that he too isn't using a idiot gimmick. Now the people I am talking about the people like Kryptonite and Jackrabbit. Then you have Hen who tries to get a laugh by playing the butt of the joke once in a while. Please kids get off the ride. For your talent must be this tall to get on and your talent is definitely not that tall. This fad will pass but Chris Staggs will not. This is his last stop as for gimmicks go. We have no way of returning his common sense. We have no way of improving his IQ. He is a retard that has more SWF World Title shot than most of the SWF roster has had combined. Fuck off now I have to take care of two more posers tonight.

Jack Diamond

Jack, please quit kissing Chris Staggs's ass...wait...I guess you can't stop. That is your gimmick right? You kiss the ass of wrestlers that are better than you. You kiss Hen's ass cause he is Hen. You kiss my ass cause you hope that he allows you last more than a minute in the ring. Jack Diamond THE actor....please we don't care how many Lifetime movies you have been on. We don't care about countless after-schools you have done. Though I got to say your role as a the homosexual was very believable in "I'm Coming Out". Jack Diamond now not only were you a B-list actor but you expect us to think you are Bobby Fisher. You actually think any believes that you know what a chess board looks like. You are a B-LIST actor. They are worse than porno actors. I mean if that is enough to tell that you don't even know how to play chess. Let look at what you said about our promos. You called them boring and dumb well I guess we could have did something more interesting and held our promos in an old apartment. That would really captivated the audience. Your last promo had me on the edge of my seat bent over resting my head on my desk sleeping. Though really Jade you say you don't try to be funny well I guess that is apparent. Well I hope you don't try to be funny cause well if you are then you need to quit trying cause all it is doing it making you like more pathetic by the moment. Jack just face the music you are a fucking lackey like Erik Olson. Both of you worship the ground that Hen walks on. I can't figure out this cult following Hen has? Does he give you something for your worship? All I know is I  just hope his serves the damn kool-aid soon. That way he can take out you quicker. If he doesn't do it soon though I am certain that Whateva Fo Sho will do it for him. Jack Diamond I am surprised that you can even cut promos in between the B-List movies and your consistent worshipping of Hen. Damn Jack get a fucking life. Hen isn't that good. Sure he is going to be SWF World Champion. I mean a faggot waiter beat the World Champion before. I know that if a gay waiter can defeat the World Champion...I got a pretty good idea that Hen can steal a win. Now Jack Diamond back to you...you think that Tommy Grady and Chris Staggs are clones? So all retard look alike? All lower IQ act the same? Does Chris Staggs look anything like Justin Goldman? I think not. Jack Diamond go away you are fighting a losing battle.

"The Jewish Answer" Josh Silver

What is this suppose to be? A joke? Josh Silver thinks he going to get a push cause he is a Jew? So fucking what? Now I can see that you seem to be focused on talking about Chris Staggs's history. You talked about the screw job. Well fuck the damn screw job. It just showed that Hen couldn't defeat Chris Staggs with out three other guys. Josh you question why you are a clone of Hen? You ask is Hen a movie star? Well he has been an extra in many pornos so yes. Then you ask if Hen is Jewish. Well I heard that he is a quarter Jew. Does that answer your questions? See Josh you missed the point on why I called you and Jack a clone of Hens. The reason I said that you two were clones was the way you carry yourself. You have the exactly same style that Hen does. You all three have a chip on your shoulder that no one cares about. All three of you have the same gimmick...you know the cocky heel gimmick. Finally you have the poor attempts of comedy that all three of you deny yet everyone sees. I mean it's pathetic. You say that getting off Hollywood Squares isn't a poor attempt at humor? You have to think all the SWF are idiots. We all know you tried to be funny in that promo and failed miserably. Josh Silver, this tag team you are facing isn't a typical tag team. Chris Staggs isn't trying to resurrect his career. Are all Jews this stupid? Chris Staggs has had two of the last three SWF World Title shots. That isn't a resurrecting a career. That is cementing a career. Josh what do you know about careers anyway? You were in the enVcore for crying out loud. That is like a tee ball player telling Barry Bonds about hitting homeruns. Josh Silver why do you even choose to talk? Everytime you open your mouth you just lose more of the little respect that you had. Now if you calling Chris Staggs career over after receiving the last two of three title shots over...then you call Tommy Grady a jobber? He has lost one match and won two matches. Usually a jobber has that record the other way around. I have never seen a winning jobber. Damn Josh quit talking...cause in your game of life you are down to nothing left. You are so far behind that you have no chance of winning at life. You have Jack Diamond trying to help you out in your career. That is your first mistake. Your second mistake is being in the Hen Cult. The last mistake you will make is taking Whateva Fo Sho for granted. You think that we are the typical tag team. Well Josh this typical tag team is going to own your Jew ass. Josh Silver go back to Hollywood Squares...I mean you fit in there...they are a bunch of fucking losers too. Josh Silver after this match is done you will be saying some more than OY! Now Josh take your dreidel and go home. You don't even deserve to be on television. 

Hunter Tazi

Do you have a fucking life? I mean to track down Chris Staggs's grandma and shoot pucks at her? Hunter Tazi you give Canadians a bad name. You are the fucking stereotype that made it difficult for Chris Staggs to get into the wrestling business. Chris Staggs had to even use the Canadian gimmick to get into the SWF.  Fuck you Hunter Tazi. You want to know why Chris Staggs attacked your ass? It was BUSINESS! Nothing more, nothing else. You want to make it personal? Go ahead ,but you are wasting your time.

Summing It Up

Jack Diamond and Josh Silver the time is running out on your little hopes of actually defeating us. You are like the fat kid in the dodge ball game. You think you are going to last till they start then you will be the first kid hit in the game. Now go on and take a seat on the sidelines you are done!

( Camera opens back up on our super-hero in training Chris Staggs...)

[ Chris Staggs:] HEY!! Shhhhhhhhhhhh.....

( Oh oops...Aluminum Man and Chris Naggs......)

[ Chris Staggs:] HEY!! Shhhhhhhhhhhh.....

( Oh yeah...Aluminum Man and Naggar The Viking are seen walking the mean street of Toronto. They walk along the streets as people give them weird looks. Chris Naggs just lowers his head in shame. Chris Staggs looks around searching to the Evil Clone Makers hide out. )

[ Chris Naggs:] Everyone is looking at us...

[ Chris Staggs:] Of course... It's not everyday you meet a real life SUPER-HERO IN TRAINING!!!

[ Chris Naggs:] I guess so but can we hurry up...I am getting cold in this costume...

[ Chris Staggs:] Sidekick OUTFIT!!

[ Chris Naggs:] Outfit, costume same thing..

[ Chris Staggs:] NO!!!!! COSTUME MEANS HALLOWEEN!

[ Chris Naggs:] Whateva...

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!

( Chris Staggs errrrr...Aluminum Man stops in his tracks )

[ Chris Staggs:] HOLY FREAKING NIKE SHOES!!!

[ Chris Naggs:] Huh?

[ Chris Staggs:] We found the hideout!

( DA DA DUM!!!)

[ Chris Naggs:] Umm Chris...

[ Chris Staggs:] Yeah?

[ Chris Naggs:] Umm this is an factory.

[ Chris Staggs:] I know.. AN EVIL FACTORY!

[ Chris Naggs:] But is says Pazos Eraser Company.

[ Chris Staggs:] Ahh...trying to throw us off is he.

[ Chris Naggs:] Umm how are we going to get it?

[ Chris Staggs:] Knock out the guards and enter.

[ Chris Naggs:] Okay...

( Chris Naggs and Chris Staggs errrrrrr Naggar the Viking and Aluminum make there way toward the entrance. Aluminum Man looks around as there are no guards in site. )

[ Chris Staggs:] Lucky for them...they were on break!

[ Chris Naggs:] *sarcastically* Yeah...lucky for them.

[ Chris Staggs:] TO THE EVIL CLONE MAKER!!!

( Aluminum Man and Naggar The Viking enter the building. They walk into the lobby as the secretary stops them before they pass the desk. )

[ Secretary:] Excuse me what are you to doing?

[ Chris Staggs:] Saving the world...

[ Secretary:] Umm do you have an appointment.

[ Chris Staggs:] Well...........

[ Secretary:] What are you doing?

[ Chris Staggs:] THE ALUMINUM STARE!!!

[ Secretary:] Umm....

[ Chris Staggs:] YOU WILL LET ME!!!

[ Secretary:] No.....

[ Chris Staggs:] Okay you asked for it!!!!

( Chris Staggs starts to shake uncontrollably as he then runs for the elevator as the door opens. Naggar the Viking runs too. They door closes )

[ Chris Staggs:] They are very powerful.

[ Chris Naggs:] What do you mean?

[ Chris Staggs:] My ALUMINUM STARE didn't affect her one bit.

[ Chris Naggs:] Well it didn't affect me either.

[ Chris Staggs:] Of course not...

[ Chris Naggs:] Cause I am a side kick right?

[ Chris Staggs:] Nope...

[ Chris Naggs:] Why then?

[ Chris Staggs:] Duh! You are a midget.

[ Chris Naggs:] Okay?

[ Chris Staggs:] Midgets are magical!

[ Chris Naggs:] Whateva...

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!

( DING DING DING )

( The elevators start to open on the top floor )

[ Chris Staggs:] Get ready...they will be hundreds of Luciano and Hen clones waiting for us.

[ Chris Naggs:] Sure...

( The doors open as Chris Staggs jumps out of the elevator and starts swinging with his eyes closed. He swings for a few moments then stops and opens his eyes )

[ Chris Staggs:] Where are they? Where are all the Luciano clones and Hen clones?

( There is a desk at the other side of the room as the back of the chair is facing them. It swings around and we see...)

( Chris Staggs jumps back )

[ Chris Staggs:] MY GOD A DEFORMED CLONE!!!

[ Chris Naggs:] Umm Chris....

[ Chris Staggs:] THIS IS A JUSTICE AGAINST HUMAN NATURE!!!!

[ Chris Naggs:] Umm Chris....

[ Chris Staggs:] LOOK AT WHAT THEY DID!!! THEY GAVE HIM TWO CHINS!!!!

[ Chris Naggs:] Umm Chris....

[ Chris Staggs:] I AM ALUMINUM MAN SUPER HERO IN TRAINING!!!!!

[ Chris Naggs:] Umm Aluminum Man...

.[ Chris Staggs:] What?

[ Chris Naggs:] That isn't a clone...

.[ Chris Staggs:] OH oops...

[ Chris Naggs:] I think he is mad...

.[ Chris Staggs:] Umm...how about some cheese?

( Chris Staggs reaches in his pocket and pulls out a block of cheese and throws it to him. He begins to eat it. )

.[ Chris Staggs:] Yes he is eating it...He will be going poop any moment!

[ Chris Naggs:] Wait you carry a block of cheese in your pocket all the time?

[ Chris Staggs:] Who doesn't?

( The Eraser CEO grabs his stomach and runs toward the bathroom. )

[ Chris Staggs:] Now to destroy the Clone Maker Factory!!!

( Chris Staggs walks over to a switch and flips it!!! )

[ Chris Staggs:] YES!! VICTORY IS OURS!!!!

[ Chris Naggs:] Umm that is the air conditioner switch.

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!?

( Chris Staggs grabs the computer and pulls it up and walks over to the window and throws it out the window as the Eraser CEO comes back and sees what is happening. Chris Staggs errrr Aluminum Man turns around and grins )

[ Chris Staggs:] Your Evil clone making days are over!!!

( The Eraser CEO is mad. )

[ Eraser CEO:] WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!!! I MAKE ERASERS!!!

[ Chris Staggs:] Fo sho?

[ Eraser CEO:] YES!!! YOU HAVE JUST RUINED MY COMPANY!!! YOU HAVE JUST DESTROYED ALL MY ACCOUNTS AND SHIPMENT ARRANGEMENTS!!! I AM GOING TO BE BANKRUPT!!!

[ Chris Staggs:] Well you should have not started making evil clones while running this business

[ Eraser CEO:] I DON'T MAKE ANY CLONES!!!

[ Chris Staggs:] Oh well umm....BYE!!!!

( Aluminum Man and Naggar The Viking make a dash to the exit and hop in the elevator. They get to the bottom and run out of the building. They keep running for two blocks then stop. )

[ Chris Staggs:] This isn't going to look good for my application to the Halls Of Justice.

( Chris Staggs lowers his head and walks off as does Chris Naggs. )

( END PROMO )