I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.

"Too bad Jack Diamond and Josh Silver are still a joke in life."

( Well another a pay per view and another screw job. What the fuck is up with the SWF and Chris Staggs? Chris Staggs isn't Hen's mom...you can't screw anytime you feel like doing it. Sure the match was a no DQ match and the help was legal ,but Hen you admitted that you couldn't take care of Chris Staggs by yourself. You couldn't handle the job so you bring in Hen Clone #1 and Hen Clone #2...Yeah, they really did a number on him. Hen now you got you damn title shot. You will go on and defeat Strick Carrington for the SWF World Title...how do I know this? You are after all giving it up to Chris Carey. You are blowing your way to the top. Yet come March...Chris Staggs will be the number one contender again...how do I know that? Simple Chris Staggs has been number one contender more times than not. He is the "first win title defense". Chris Carey uses Chris Staggs cause he brings the ratings.*Sarcasm* I mean that is the only reason why Chris Staggs is always in the title hunt. It can't because of his skill. Chris Staggs sucks. He hasn't won a pay per view match since....umm....like June. He has had a losing streak. I mean should just quit right?*End Sarcasm* FUCK NO! Chris Staggs is a former SWF World Champion. He has done more for the SWF than most of the roster could ever dream of doing. He has given his sweat, blood, and tears to the SWF for over a year now. What has that gotten him? Seven screw jobs, two titles, four stupid angles. Chris Staggs has stayed with the SWF. Now he has a chance to get another shot at the World title and what happens? SCREW JOB! You would think the creative team in the SWF would think of something more original. This repeats more than any Pete Ebdon promo. This is getting old...Fuck the World Title.....Hello World Tag Titles...

Jack Diamond

Do my eyes deceive me? Chris Staggs is getting another match with Hen? Oh wait, never mind that is Jack Diamond Hen Clone #1. Could you be anymore of a rip off. I mean hell at least Hen had his funny moments. Sure they were far and scarce. While you Jack Diamond appear to be copying Pete Ebdon's humor with Hen's style. I guess we saw the result of that in your last promo...long, uninteresting, and too many attempts of trying to be funny.  Jack Diamond why do you want to be like Hen anyway? You want to be overrated? You want to make your way to the top of the ladder...bent over a desk? Jack Diamond now if copying Hen wasn't bad enough but you used ever heel cliché in the fucking book. You tell us that they should go ahead and give you the tag titles. Why the fuck would they give it to some rip off artists? You haven't done shit in the SWF to make us fear you. Wow you drove Chris Staggs through a table...he kicked out. You couldn't even do a fucking screw job right. How the hell do you expect to win the tag team titles? Well you figured that they would give you the tag titles. So you then go on to tell us how one sided this match is? Okay lets see Whateva Fo Sho....SWF World Heavyweight title and SWF Television Title....The Hen Clones....jack shit. I guess you were right Jack. This match is one sided ,but it is one-sided on the side of Whateva Fo Sho. Jack Diamond...please do us a favor and leave the comedy to the professionals. You my friend are nothing more than an amateur that is fixing to get schooled by the professionals. Hell Tommy Grady already left you in the dust with his promo. Now it is time for Chris Staggs to do the same. Chris Staggs makes stupidity a fucking art form. Our duo is just too good for you fools to slow us down. Now that is JACKTASIC! What the fuck is Jacktasic...that sounds like a word describing a damn porno.  Maybe you and your boy "Tha Answer" Josh Silver should jacktasic yourself instead of showing up in the ring, cause the beating in the ring will be worse than acting in a porno. Now Jack, you say you are going to announce the name of your duo. Well if you don't mind I would like to make some suggestions...of course The Hen Clones, Jackoffs, Hen's Nuts, or The Rip-offs. Jack Diamond get over yourself...you are as funny as Pete Ebdon, entertaining as David Dunn, and have the style of Hen....You are going to flop bigger than the Bengals.

 "Tha Answer" Josh Silver

So Jack Diamond is ripping off Hen and you are ripping of Kurt Stone? Damn that is even worse than Jack Diamond. I mean at least Hen is somewhat successful. Kurt Stone loss more matches that member of the S.A.N.E. Squad. Anyway I know you probably don't know who the fuck Kurt Stone is and I guess not many people do. Anyway Josh Silver you are Jack Diamond's bitc...I mean tag partner. So you believe that you are going to walk into the SWF and grab the tag titles. You actually believed that bullshit that Jack Diamond was spewing or did he have you at hello? Err anyway Josh Silver what the fuck is up with you? You run down and help Hen with your buddy Hen. What is up with Hen and this damn cult like following? Damn I hope he leads you straight off the fucking cliff. Better yet...come on drink the Kool-aid. You know you want to. In Hen we trust...right? This is getting too weird. Hen you have like five men following you. That is a fucking cult. Josh Silver fuck off bitch you ain't shit. I mean you were in eVcore for crying out loud. They drew worse ratings than the Dick Riding Wrestling Federation.  I mean damn worse than the DRWF. They kicked your ass. You have lost your face value in my eyes. You don't even deserve to be here. The owner was fucking joke. He was fat too. He was a fat fucking joke. Damn I am turning into Blake Carter with all these fucks....I can't help it...Chris Staggs has been screwed way too many times. The SWF don't know what they are doing.     

The Tag Team Titles

 So Chris Staggs is teaming with Tommy Grady to go after the SWF Tag Team titles. The titles have been vacant for quite awhile unless you want to count Kyle Broadway and his 144 tag partners when they were the champs. The SWF Tag Team titles haven't meant much for sometime now. They have lost their value till now. It appears that the SWF went "Oh yeah we have the SWF Tag Team Titles we need to give them to a team". So now they bring back the titles and knock off the dusts. There are about 12 teams vying for the titles. This is going to be a double elimination match where you can screw up one match and still have a chance. I guess David Dunn and Quark will have to get there ass handed to them not once but twice. All these teams have hopes of gaining the titles but they don't understand that Whateva Fo Sho have an advantage over them. Yes, I said it. The two probably dumbest wrestlers in the SWF have an advantage over the rest of the field. They are so alike that they are basically on the same wavelength. They know what each other is thinking...Now that is scary. They are very dangerous.

Summing It Up

When are these damn cults going to go out of style. You know they always end the same way. They all commit mass suicide. Well Jack Diamond and Josh Silver you already committed career suicide. I guess your life is the next practical thing. Now sit back Jack and Josh...prepare to witness stupidity and comedy at it's finest. You ain't got shit on Chris Staggs.

( Camera fades in the hotel room as we see Chris Naggs waiting in the living room. Chris Naggs looks to be in a hurry. Chris Naggs taps his foot and looks at his watch. Chris Naggs walks over to bedroom door and knocks on the door. )

[ Chris Naggs:] Hurry up...we're going to be late.

( DA DA DUM!!! )

[ Chris Naggs:] What the fuck?

( Chris Naggs sees this signal on the wall. )

[ Chris Naggs:] What is this?

( It's the ALUMINUM MAN SIGNAL!!! )

[ Chris Naggs:] The what?

( Just then the door swings open as Chris Staggs jumps out into the living room )

[ Chris Staggs:] All right stop collaborate and listen Aluminum Man is back with my brand new invention.

[ Chris Naggs:] That is Vanilla Ice...

[ Chris Staggs:] No I am ALUMINUM MAN: SUPER-HERO IN TRAINING!!!

[ Chris Naggs:] In training?

[ Chris Staggs:] Yes I am waiting for my membership from the Halls Of Justice.

[ Chris Naggs:] Umm Chris Staggs...

[ Chris Staggs:] Wha....No I am Aluminum Man...Chris Staggs, the man you are looking for is in the North Pole talking to Santa Claus.

[ Chris Naggs:] *Rolling his eyes* Right...the North Pole.

[ Chris Staggs:] Now if you will....The city of........uh uh....

[ Chris Naggs:] Toronto...

[ Chris Staggs:] Yeah they need me..

[ Chris Naggs:] For what?

[ Chris Staggs:] I don't know...I have to answer the Aluminum Phone!!

( Chris Staggs picks up the phone wrapped in aluminum foil. )

[ Chris Staggs:] Hello...room service get me the Aluminum Cave....What do you mean "Quit playing with the phones?" Your life is in great danger.....Hello? Hello?

( Chris Staggs hangs up the phone. )

[ Chris Naggs:] Chris Staggs stop this at once...

[ Chris Staggs:] No I am ALUMINUM MAN: SUPER-HERO IN TRAINING!!!

[ Chris Naggs:] I mean it!

[ Chris Staggs:] No I am ALUMINUM MAN: SUPER-HERO IN TRAINING!!!

[ Chris Naggs:] I will give you a bag of M&Ms if you stop.

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!

[ Chris Naggs:] Good now can we go Chris...

[ Chris Staggs:] Fine but if the SWF closes don't say I didn't try.

[ Chris Naggs:] What?

[ Chris Staggs:] I am ALUMINUM MAN: SUPER-HERO IN TRAINING!!!

[ Chris Naggs:] I get that but how is the SWF going to close?

[ Chris Staggs:] The *GASP* Hen CLONES!!!

( DA DA DUM! )

[ Chris Naggs:] Who are the Hen Clones?

[ Chris Staggs:] They are clones of Hen that came to instill lame comedy and stupid catchphrases.

[ Chris Naggs:] Umm we are saving the SWF from ourselves?

[ Chris Staggs:] NO the guys we wrestle this week.

[ Chris Naggs:] Those aren't clones

[ Chris Staggs:] Fine...don't believe let the same thing happen the last time the clones attacked.

[ Chris Naggs:] There was an other time?

[ Chris Staggs:] Don't you remember this past summer...

[ Chris Naggs:] Umm yeah?

[ Chris Staggs:] You don't remember the clones?

[ Chris Naggs:] Umm no...

[ Chris Staggs:] You don't remember the dreaded LUCIANO CLONES!!!

( DA DA DUM!! )

[ Chris Naggs:] Oh yeah...

[ Chris Staggs:] Yes those Italian Clones closed federation after federation with cheesy Italian stereotype gimmicks. They always put many pizza places out of business. Not mention record sales of the Godfather and Scarface.

[ Chris Naggs:] DAMN THOSE CLONES!!!

[ Chris Staggs:] They finally got to big of egos and killed each other. From that day on I VOWED I WOULD NEVER LET A CLONE CLOSE ANOTHER FEDERATION EVER AGAIN!!

[ Chris Naggs:] I guess you could be right...they could be clones.

[ Chris Staggs:] THEY ARE!!!

[ Chris Naggs:] I guess we could go stop them...

[ Chris Staggs:] I WILL STOP THEM AND BECOME A FULL PLEDGED SUPERHERO!!!

[ Chris Naggs:] LETS GO!!

[ Chris Staggs:] No, you can't go...you are not a super hero in training.

[ Chris Naggs:] But I have too...

[ Chris Staggs:] Well you could be my sidekick...

[ Chris Naggs:] Okay I am your sidekick...let's go.

[ Chris Staggs:] NO!! YOU HAVE TO HAVE A SIDEKICK OUTFIT!! I GOT ONE IN THE BEDROOM!

[ Chris Naggs:] Okay..

( Chris Naggs walks into the bedroom. A few moments pass....a couple minutes go by. Chris Staggs walks over to the door )

[ Chris Staggs:] Come on....

[ Chris Naggs:] I AM NOT COMING OUT LOOKING LIKE THIS!!!!

[ Chris Staggs:] Come on....

[ Chris Naggs:] NO!

[ Chris Staggs:] Come on....

[ Chris Naggs:] NO!

FIVE MINUTES LATER...

[ Chris Staggs:] Come on....

[ Chris Naggs:] FINE!

( Chris Naggs steps out of the bed room )

[ Chris Staggs:] NAGGAR THE VIKING!

[ Chris Naggs:] Ummm...a viking?

[ Chris Staggs:] The costume shop had that or a pumpkin...

[ Chris Naggs:] Good choice...

[ Chris Staggs:] LETS GO!

[ Chris Naggs:] Out in public?

[ Chris Staggs:] True too obvious....LETS FLY!!!!

( Chris Staggs runs out on the balcony and jumps. He falls as you hear a thud! Chris Naggs walks over )

[ Chris Naggs:] We are on the first floor.

[ Chris Staggs:] FO SHO!

[ Chris Naggs:] Umm where are we going anyway?

[ Chris Staggs:] THE EVIL CLONE MAKER'S HIDE OUT!

[ Chris Naggs:] How are we going to find that?

[ Chris Staggs:] Yellow pages!

( Chris Staggs climbs back over the balcony and runs inside. He grabs the yellow pages and begins to flip through it. )

[ Chris Staggs:] Evil Clone Maker....Evil Clone Maker....AHH HA!

[ Chris Naggs:] Wait they actually have a Evil Clone Maker in the yellow pages?

[ Chris Staggs:] YEP! LET'S GO!

( DA DA DUM!!! )

( Chris Staggs tears out the yellow page as the duo leaves the hotel room )

TO BE CONTINUED....

(END PROMO)