"Tommy isn't going to be so lucky"

When exactly did wrestling and rap merge? When the fuck did Ja Rule, Jay-Z, Tupac, and other become a regular? When did wrestler begin to think they are wrestlers cause they can rap lyrics of Ja Rule, DMX, and Jay-Z. I guess Tiger is the one to blame. He was the first fake hood this era. He was the first one to think he can rap. Now look around. We have Shawn Jackson and others want to impress Suge Knight. This though is just a number of fads that I have seen since the SWF has been going this time around. We have had all kinds of trends and yes Chris Staggs did take part in them yet he did it and survived while other faded out quicker than a fart in the wind. Chris Staggs has endure each trend and has excelled in each fad. He came to the SWF with the hot "Cocky Heel" gimmick and within a couple of months became the Longest SWF Television Champion in SWF history. He ended his gimmick with a two month World Heavyweight Championship reign. After that fad past Chris Staggs adopted the dark gothic, the world hates me type gimmick and returned to number one contender ship. Then Chris Staggs went off the deep end and had to take a break. This is where we left off. Chris Staggs's SWF stint was nothing more than one trend after another. That quit three months ago when Chris Staggs went to Shady Woods Mental Ward. Chris Staggs doesn't care about trends anymore. As a matter of face Chris Staggs is making his stupidity a fucking trend. He has the fan base. He is the ultimate face. Everyone like him. Hell even his catch phrase is hotter than a two lesbians in a shower scene. So I don't get it when you have wrestler after wrestler saying that Chris Staggs is nothing more a trend. Chris Staggs is done with fucking trends. He is the trendsetter now. He will have more white boys saying FO SHO than Snoop Dogg ever though of. Chris Staggs is the original idiot. You don't believe it. You can't deny the fact any more. Just check out he next Adrenaline. Chris Staggs is the trend just look at his next opponent.

Tommy Grady

SOFT? Chris Staggs is too soft to defeat you, Tommy Grady? What the hell are you thinking? So you are saying that Chris Staggs isn't tough enough to defeat you. Yet in the last three months, Chris Staggs has a lost a total of two single matches. So hmmm we have a problem here. You are either saying you are the toughest opponent Chris Staggs has faced or that the SWF is full of soft wrestlers. You know what the answer is Tommy? It's neither. You like every single wrestler Chris Staggs has face has taken Chris Staggs for granted. You see these promos where Chris Staggs couldn't hurt a fly. You get it in your mind that there is no way this idiot can defeat some one like me. He isn't tough. Yep Tommy I thought you were different. You do have the lower IQ to figure that out. It was so damn simple. I guess that means Chris Staggs is still the dumbest superstar in the SWF. Now I know what many of you are thinking...Why is he taking pride in that. Its quite simple, Chris Staggs can continue to be the underdog in every match. Tommy Grady you have made Chris Staggs the underdog in this match. You have said that Chris Staggs doesn't have the fury streak as you do. You say that Chris Staggs can't get the job done cause he is just too soft. Well Tommy I guess you will join many others when you feel shock therapy and hear the one two three. See the idiotic mastermind has so simple a though process that no man cause out do him. Though Tommy I do have to give you kudos for you are the closet one to figuring him out. Which no one has been able to do. Now I have to correct you on one thing else. You say that I am speaking for Chris Staggs and that Chris Staggs is thinking the same thing. Umm THINKING THE SAME THING? Chris Staggs and thinking in the same sentence? Tommy, I am shooting from my mouth. I think and say what I THINK not Chris Staggs. You say that my point of view is Chris Staggs and how great he is. Well umm the idiot is paying me for these promos, so why in the world would I say he doesn't have a chance in every match. That wouldn't be good job security would it now? Oh and Tommy I glad to see that you quit insulting yourself. I was starting to wonder if I needed to even talk about you. Anyway Tommy Grady, Chris Staggs will not be your benchmark win. Chris Staggs will not be your springboard into the main spotlight. Chris Staggs is going to defeat you in this match cause you are taking him for granted. It is just that simple.

Hen

FO SHO!!!!  You admitted it. You say that Chris Staggs is getting in to you in a matter of words. You can't wait to get your hands on Chris Staggs. You want to tear him from limb to limb. The idiotic mastermind is getting to you and this Saturday the irritation grows bigger. Chris Staggs has something planned so good that you might breakdown right in middle of the show. Hen you are right though. There is just a little over a week left till you and Chris Staggs meet. You have a chance to do something Erik couldn't do, that is to defeat Chris Staggs. Now I find it funny though Erik Olson said that he didn't want to make any excuses for the loss yet Hen you come out and say he had the flu. The FLU? Hen come on now you had five days to come up with a better excuse than the flu. I take it that you were never very good at getting out of not having you homework. You probably told the teacher something along the lines of "My dog ate my homework." I mean come on Hen you could have said the reason for Erik Olson losing was he was in Utah and he is allergic to Mormons. I mean at least would be comedic. No you have to use a GENERIC excuse in he was sick. Big FUCKING DEAL!!! He should have not shown up. He should have pulled a Johnny Hilfiger. Hen, next Sunday, your title show will be shattered like Tiger's anal cherry in maximum lock up.

The Natural Progression

The Hair Club back again? Jeff Harris and A2 finally find another guy to join The Natural Progression Hair Club?  I mean really that name sounds like a hair growth product. Anyway they found another member in Josh Epic. Josh Epic? This guy is practically jumping up and down in his promo shouting look at me look at me. I want to be in the main event. Hmm let me see I will insult the top stars. Maybe the will take enough time and feud with me. That would be neato cool yeah. Josh Epic go pick a fight where you have a shot at winning the fight...

Summing It Up

Tommy Grady you have about as much chance of winning the match as the Bengals ever have of winning this year's Super Bowl. In other words, no way in hell. Hen next week you will go down faster than a nine year old girl in Kramer's office. Oh as for the Natural Progression......nah that's too easy.

( Camera fades in as we see our duo walking down the sidewalk of Denver. Chris Staggs and Chris Naggs walk a bit as Chris Staggs looks to his left and stops dead in his tracks. Chris Staggs looks awe struck as Chris Naggs walks a few feet and looks back. Chris Staggs starts to jump and down. )

[ Chris Staggs: ] Ewww Ewww Ewww!!!

[ Chris Naggs: ] Didn't you just go to the bathroom?

[ Chris Staggs: ] Uh............hmmm.....yep... DOGGIES!!!!

[ Chris Naggs: ] Huh?

[ Chris Staggs: ] DOGGIE DOGGIE!!!

[ Chris Naggs: ] No!

[ Chris Staggs: ] DOG---GIE!!!

[ Chris Naggs: ] No!

[ Chris Staggs: ] NOW!!!!!!!!!!!

[ Chris Naggs: ] NO!!!

[ Chris Staggs: ] I'M GOING TO SCREAM!!!!

[ Chris Naggs: ] FINE!!!

[ Chris Staggs: ] YAY!!!!

( Chris Staggs does his happy white boy dance...yeah you know what I am talking about. He then walks into the Pet Store. He walks around and looks at monkeys, snakes, dogs, cats, lizards, goldfish, then he stops as he sees the turtle. )

[ Chris Staggs: ]  HI!! I am Chris Staggs

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[ Chris Staggs: ]  I had a dog named that. So umm how you doing?

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[ Chris Staggs: ]  FO SHO!

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[ Chris Staggs: ]  Oh so what ya do for fun?

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[ Chris Staggs: ]  Hmmm kinda boring eh?

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[ Chris Staggs: ]  You have a plan? What plan?

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[ Chris Staggs: ]  AN EVIL PLAN!?

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[ Chris Staggs: ]  REALLY!? FLYING TURTLES? HOW YOU DO THAT?

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[ Chris Staggs: ] FO SHO!!!

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[ Chris Staggs: ] How are you going to get the jet packs?

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[ Chris Staggs: ] OF COURSE THE LASERS!!

( Chris Naggs hears the conversation and runs up to Chris Staggs. )

[ Chris Naggs: ] STOP TALKING TO THE TURTLE!!!

[ Chris Staggs: ] FO SHO?

[ Chris Naggs: ] YOU ARE RIPPING OFF A NRG PROMO!!!

[ Chris Staggs: ] Energy?

[ Chris Naggs: ] No NRG!

[ Chris Staggs: ] Energy!

[ Chris Naggs: ] NRG!!!

[ Chris Staggs: ] Who is energy?

[ Chris Naggs: ] Nathaniel Renzo Glore

[ Chris Staggs: ] Oh! Why do I need to stop though?

[ Chris Naggs: ] We will be 404ed!!!!

[ Chris Staggs: ] Forbidden? From what?

[ Chris Naggs: ] No that's 403

[ Chris Staggs: ] What's 404?

[ Chris Naggs: ] FILE NOT FOUND!

[ Chris Staggs: ] What file?

[ Chris Naggs: ] Nothing

[ Chris Staggs: ] The nothing file?

[ Chris Naggs: ] Forget it....just stop talking to the damn turtle.

[ Chris Staggs: ] FO SHO!!! But don't yell at me when you see flying turtles with lasers and jet packs!

[ Chris Naggs: ] Let's just leave...

[ Chris Staggs: ] Okay...

( Chris Staggs grabs Speedy The Turtle and walks over to the cashier. He pays for Speedy and walks back )

[ Chris Naggs: ] Why did you buy the damn turtle?

[ Chris Staggs: ] Just in case he does try to take over the world, I can stop him.

[ Chris Naggs: ] Right............

[ Chris Staggs: ] FO SHO!!!

( Chris Staggs, with Speedy in hand, and Chris Naggs walk out of the Pet Store. )

( END PROMO )