"Tommy need a lime for your promo?"

Chris Staggs was LUCKY? He was lucky to beat a superstar like you? Yet Chris Staggs has one more win over you. See Erik you seem to have blocked that tag team match you had with Chris Staggs and Mike Steele. You seem to have forgot that Chris Staggs pinned your boss err your tag team partner Hen in that match. I became the first man to pin Hen. So luck? Well that might be a little bit of what helped Chris Staggs defeat you in the match. Then again doesn't luck come from greatness. You never seen a loser with luck well I take that back our SWF World Champion is the exact definition with luck. Anyway Erik Olson you can say that next meet it may be a different story. It could or it could be a Nick @ Nite rerun. Erik, you lost to a better superstar. You lost to the Idiotic Mastermind. He used the simplest logic to defeat you. The logic that three years could use to take over the world. Anyway also Chris Staggs hosted The Fix to boost ratings. Funny eh? The guy Chris Carey said who shouldn't be walking the halls is the man they call to get the fans to watch. Why? Chris Staggs is making stupidity trendy. Also we saw Chris Staggs get a little be more inside the head of Hen. Though Hen's plan caught a bigger idiot in Jack Diamond. So as we look back at The Fix we see that Chris Staggs had yet another successful night. This is becoming a common occurrence since he was release from the mental hospital. He has been back for three months now and has lost a total of three matches. Everyone knows that one was a total screw job ,but why bring up the past. The present Chris Staggs has a shot to become that first man to defeat Hen not once but twice. That thought is getting a little ahead of ourselves as Chris Staggs has Tommy Grady to think about, well Chris Naggs can tell Chris Staggs what to think. 

Tommy Grady

Tommy Grady...a new arrival to the SWF. This might be the first time that Chris Staggs is on a level mental playing field. Though Tommy Grady does seem that he can talk for himself and he had some interesting things to say. He talked about Chris Staggs's past accomplishments then said all the formers like that was suppose to be an insult. He has been in the SWF for a year now. So he lost the two titles. Nobody is perfect. Though I find it funny that a jackass like Tommy Grady is going to take the respect from Chris Staggs as a wrestler. Now explain how the fuck are you going to do that Chris Staggs? Are you going to pants Chris Staggs in the middle of the ring? I mean taking away respect from Chris Staggs is going to take more than a little public embarrassment. Maybe you meant that if you won that it would definitely take away Chris Staggs respect. What the fuck? You are now starting to insult yourself. Why am I even talking about you then. You are doing a pretty good job at it yourself. Then if that isn't enough insult to yourself, you claim Chris Staggs is in a lose-lose situation. I guess you are right, if Chris Staggs beats you then he just beat a rookie. Though if he loses to you then Chris Staggs lost to a ROOKIE! Damn you are really building up your self esteem. You should take your work on the road. You can travel high school to high school. Damn we would have the generation Wasted Youth. We would have a bunch of fags reading poetry and having sluts as wives. Damn Tommy just for that possible idea, I am wishing that Chris Staggs takes you out of your misery. That could be Chris Staggs's motivation. So Tommy Grady what is next for your promos. Are you going to tell us how Chris Staggs isn't going to be able to wrestle you cause of have goofy you look? Maybe you are going to tell us that Tommy Grady is going to win cause of Tommy Grady two left feet will trip Chris Staggs up. Tommy Grady, I don't I can contend with you. You are doing a better job of insulting yourself than I could ever dream of. Yes I said dream. You can't tell Chris Staggs what he can dream of and what he can't. I know dreams mean nothing. Something you will have to learn about the hard way. I can see that you want to become a name in the SWF. You want to be somebody. You dream of that every night. You day dream about it every day. You want to be a name in the SWF. This is a perfect way for you to do it, right? Fuck no you will not be able to hang with Chris Staggs. So now Tommy go on insult yourself some more...I starting to enjoy it.

Hen

FO SHO!!!! You hate that catch phrase. You hate Chris Staggs. You can't stand the site of him can you Hen? You want to strangle him to death. See Hen I told you that Chris Staggs is going to be the death of you. He will be the one that send so far of the deep end that you can't see the shallow end. You are starting to hear FO SHO in your dreams aren't you Hen. Though last week and the week before last were nothing compared to the most evil, the most disturbing, the most idiotic, the most juvenile

[ Chris Staggs: ] Back da ass up.

Damn it Chris Staggs get out of here.

[ Chris Staggs: ] FO SHO!?

Hen the guy has a plan that will break you down. We don't call him the idiotic mastermind for nothing. Hen, your glorified lackey couldn't soften me up. So what are you going to do? You have been warned.

The Natural Progression

They are fucking coming out of the wood work. Josh Epic now? The guy is nothing. All he is doing is insult random main event superstars just so he can ride their coat tails.  Well Josh you can't get Chris Staggs to bite. I heard Pen 15 is looking for some one to feud with.

Summing It Up

Tommy Grady you are walking in to something you don't know anything about. You know kinda like President Bush in a Geography Bee. Or Hen face in between a woman legs. Yeah the second one was a better shot eh?

( Camera fades in as we see Chris Naggs fixing a rum and coke as the door swings wide open as Chris Staggs runs full speed and trips of the end table. He gets up with a lime green flyer in his hand. Chris Staggs looks so happy. Chris Staggs does a little dance. )

[ Chris Staggs: ] YAY!!!

[ Chris Naggs: ] What?

[ Chris Staggs: ] We going to a rave

[ Chris Naggs: ] What?

[ Chris Staggs: ] We going to a rave

[ Chris Naggs: ] I heard you but why?

[ Chris Staggs: ] To pay our respects

[ Chris Naggs: ] What the hell are you talking about?

[ Chris Staggs: ] Isn't a rave where people go to go to heaven.

[ Chris Naggs: ] That is a grave

[ Chris Staggs: ] Oh then what is a rave?

[ Chris Naggs: ] Its a underground party.

[ Chris Staggs: ] PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ Chris Naggs: ] Yeah

[ Chris Staggs: ] CAN WE GO!!!!

[ Chris Naggs: ] Well

[ Chris Staggs: ] Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee*catches his breath*eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[ Chris Naggs: ] FINE!!! Just shut up!

[ Chris Staggs: ] FO SHO!!!!

[ Chris Naggs: ] Well go get ready.

[ Chris Staggs: ] FO SHO!!!

( Chris Staggs runs into the bed room and a few moments pass as Chris Staggs comes out dressed in a Batman outfit )

[ Chris Staggs: ] DA DA DA STAGGS MAN!!!!!

[ Chris Naggs: ] What the fuck are you wearing?

[ Chris Staggs: ] Uh.....clothes?

[ Chris Naggs: ] NO super hero

[ Chris Staggs: ] Awwwwww

( Chris Staggs lowers his head and walks back in the bed room and changes. He comes out in a black FUBU jersey and black pants. )

[ Chris Staggs: ] Let's get this party started!!!

[ Chris Naggs: ] What?

[ Chris Staggs: ] Lets PARRRRRRRR-TY!!!!!!!!

[ Chris Naggs: ] Okay

[ Chris Staggs: ] FO SHO!

( Chris Staggs and Chris Naggs walks out of the hotel room )

20 Minutes Later...

(  The rental car hangs the corner and locks its brakes as it slides on the sidewalk. They get out as Chris Naggs looks at the car parked diagonally on the sidewalk. )

[ Chris Naggs: ] Umm are you going to park that right?

[ Chris Staggs: ] Nah a guy in this truck takes it away for us

[ Chris Naggs: ] So we have to walk?

[ Chris Staggs: ] I prefer to moonwalk home. AAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

( Chris Staggs does the Michael Jackson crotch grabs and moonwalks to the door as Chris Naggs slaps his forehead )

[ Chris Staggs: ] Where is it

[ Chris Naggs: ] Umm right behind you

( Chris Staggs looks at the building in confusing manner )

[ Chris Naggs: ] What now?

[ Chris Staggs: ] I thought you said the party was underground. This is a warehouse

[ Chris Naggs: ] Never mind

[ Chris Staggs: ] FO SHO!

[ Chris Naggs: ] Let's go inside

[ Chris Staggs: ] OH SNAPZ!!! I FORGOT SOMETHING!!!

( Chris Staggs runs to the car and grabs a bag and returns )

[ Chris Naggs: ] What's in the bag?

[ Chris Staggs: ] You said this was a party...you will see

[ Chris Naggs: ] I am afraid I will.

[ Chris Staggs: ] Come on let's go!!!

( Chris Staggs rand Chris Naggs walk in as we see a huge rave going on with techno music blaring as its real dark as you see light sticks going all over the place. Chris Staggs looks around and finds a light switch. He turns on the lights as everyone stops and looks at Chris Staggs )

[ Chris Staggs: ] I'm scared of the dark.

[ Everyone: ] TURN THEM OFF!!!!

[ Chris Staggs: ] But I' m scared of the dark!!!

( Just then a light stick is thrown at Chris Staggs. He ducks and then turns off the lights. He looks down and picks up the light stick )

[ Chris Staggs: ] GLOWIE!!!!!

[ Chris Naggs: ] Yeah, I can't believe I am going to ask this but what is in the bag?

[ Chris Staggs: ] I thought you would never ask.....

( Chris Staggs opens up his bag and pulls out some balloons, a flattened birthday cake, and pin the tail on the donkey game. )

[ Chris Naggs: ] What the hell?

[ Chris Staggs: ] Well what is a party with out balloons and games.

[ Chris Naggs: ] Ummm.....

[ Chris Staggs: ] A BORING PARTY!!!!

[ Chris Naggs: ] Right......

[ Chris Staggs: ] AND CAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

( Chris Staggs walks over to a wall and puts the pin the tail on the donkey up. He looks around as no one walks up to play. He shrugs his shoulders and blindfolds himself. He spins himself around real fast. He stops and starts to walks as he does, he walks the opposite away and disappears into the crowd )

[ Chris Naggs: ] Where the hell is he?

( Just then a scream is heard. Chris Naggs runs toward the screams as you see Chris Staggs standing there jumping up and down as a women is rubbing her ass in pain. )

[ Chris Staggs: ] I WIN I WIN I WIN!!!!! I PINNED THE TAIL ON THE DONKEY!!!

[ Women: ] You pinned the tail on the what?

[ Chris Staggs: ] IT TALKS.............COOL!!!!

[ Chris Naggs: ] Chris, take the blindfold off.

( Chris Staggs takes off the blindfold and looks around )

[ Chris Staggs: ] How did I get over here?

[ Chris Naggs: ] Magic

[ Chris Staggs: ] MAGIC!!! AND I MISSED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

( Chris Staggs looks disappointed and walks away as he bumps in a guy )

[ Man: ] Dude you look down....you need to get some X

[ Chris Staggs: ] Is that like M&M's?

[ Man: ] Sure....

[ Chris Staggs: ] GIMME GIMME GIMME!!!!!!!!!!!!

 [ Man: ] Go over to the bar. There is some X there.

[ Chris Staggs: ] FO SHO!!

( Chris Staggs runs over to the bar-esc set up they have. He passes right by the X. He looks around the bar. )

[ Chris Staggs: ] DAMN! He lied to me........maybe they are in here.

( Chris Staggs sees a purse and begins to dig through it. He pulls out are a pink round circular container. He opens it. )

[ Chris Staggs: ] JACKPOT!!!!

( Chris Staggs takes a pill and eats it )

[ Chris Staggs: ] Not as good as M&Ms.....but oh well

( Chris Staggs starts to eat them one by one as the women comes up )

 [ Women: ] HEY GET OUT OF MY BIRTH CONTROL!!!!

[ Chris Staggs: ] HUH!? Birth control?

( The women grabs the birth control away from Chris Staggs. )

 [ Women: ] You ate over half of them!!!

( Chris Staggs wonders over to Chris Naggs. Chris Staggs doesn't look so good. )

[ Chris Naggs: ] What's wrong with you

[ Chris Staggs: ] I FEEL BLOATED!!! HOLD ME!!!!

( Chris Naggs away. )

[ Chris Staggs: ] AM I TOO FAT FOR YOU NOW!?

[ Chris Naggs: ] Umm let's go...

[ Chris Staggs: ] OH SO NOW YOU ARE EMBARRASSED TO BE SEEN IN PUBLIC WITH ME!!!

[ Chris Naggs: ] LET'S GO!!

[ Chris Staggs: ] BETTER OPEN BOTH DOORS, THIS LARD ASS IS COMING THROUGH!!!

( Chris Staggs and Chris Naggs leave )

( END PROMO!!! )