Does Jason Rothchild think he can rap? I hope not.....
Does Jason Rothchild have a death wish? Yep
Is Kris Kronix an idiot? mmmmm Yep!
Is Chris better then these rejects? Why of course
Will Jason Rothchild ever become a man? Don't Bet On It
Does Chris Staggs look like Forrest Gump? NO NO NO!!!!!
[][][] :: Well, it looks like Chris's two rejected and insane opponents have put out promos. These two jokes dare to call him uneducated and an ignoramous. That's fine, hell I think Kris Kronix is a perfect example that you don't have to be smart to be in the SWF. I mean the guy babbles on and on with his second grade comebacks. Kris Kronix you go on and on about how much Chris Staggs looks like Tom Hanks with a buzz cut. I mean what is that suppose to do. Is it suppose to make Chris Staggs angry? Is it suppose to hurt Chris Staggs's feeling? What was the point of the comparison? I mean Forrest Gump was just a character. Oops, you might have not known that Kris. I bet you still believe in the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus too. Kris Kronix how dare you call Chris uneducated while you are the one doing stupid character comparison in your promos. Kris you then get mad at the use of virgin as referring to you. I am so sorry, I guess you are not if you count goats, sheep, and any farm animal near you. Kris Kronix you think you are good, you think you are going to pin me and beat me, Well Kris keep on dreaming and wishing that. Maybe just maybe you will find a genie in a lamp and grant your wishes. I mean you probably believe that genies are real too. Anyway Kris Kronix you are not stepping into the ring with just an average wrestler. You are face a guy in Chris Staggs who could wrestle rings around you. He could dispose of you with ease and don't you ever forget that. Kris Kronix if you want to stay in denial that is fine by me It will just be more crushing when you are looking at the back of your eyelids while you are getting pinned for the one-two-three. Kris Kronix you won't have any help with you partner Jason Rothchild. This guy actually thinks he can rap. Jason Rothchild, Staggs will get his long awaited revenge on you. You may be laughing now, but those laughs will turn to cries of pain and agony this Monday Adrenaline. Jason Rothchild you continue you insult and insult and insult Chris Staggs...You will regret that come this Monday as I finally will pin you in the center of the ring. Jason Rothchild you continue to insult Chris's intelligence. What makes you an expert. Is it stupid because Staggs tells the truth? Is it stupid because the truth hurts? Is it because you are so mentally challenged that you can only think up one insult? Is that it Jason? Is that the reason? I think it is. Jason Rothchild face it you are in denial along with your tag partner. You are denying that fact that Chris Staggs is faster, smarter, and more talented then both of you. Jason Rothchild you don't have chance and you know that in the back of your mind. Now I have nothing to add so I can finally relax .So here it is without further ado those three little words....... ROLL THE PROMO :: [][][]
[][][] :: Camera fades in with a shot of Chris Staggs at the local Gold Gym. Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs is on the treadmill jogging. Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs looks like he hasn't gotten any sleep since he has gotten to Cincinnati. Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs motions for the camera crew to come over to him while gets off the treadmill and takes a seat on a nearby bench.. :: [][][]
Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs: Hello, you didn't let that weirdo follow you ,did you?
SWF Camera Crew: No, not that we know of
Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs: Good, I had to sneak out of the room when he had to take a bathroom break. The guy knocked on my door all night. I don't know how I am going to be able to get back in my room. Anyway enough about my problems. Lets talk about my opponents' problems. Kris Kronix, you continue to shoot off your mouth about how great you are. Funny I haven't seen you wrestle a second of a match. So, I can't take your word. Kris Kronix you compare me to a made-up character, like I am suppose to be angry or have hurt feelings. No all it did was confuse me with that. I mean how childish can you get. Anyway Kris Kronix how dare you call me uneducated. Look at your promos. You make a perfect promo for why smoking or drinking while pregnant is a no no. Kris Kronix you can try to talk a good game but you know that you have no chance against me. You have as much of a chance of beating me as your Brandi not being a two dollar kinky whore. Kris Kronix come on and hit me with you elementary comebacks and idiotic rants and raves. Kris Kronix, you are nothing but a worthless rookie. You don't know what you are getting yourself into until you step in the ring against me. Kris Kronix you keep talking about how I keep digging myself in a hole deeper and deeper. Well I just don't see it that way. Kris Kronix you don't have enough talent to keep up with me. You don't have enough stamina to outlast me. You don't have enough balls to step back into the ring with me after I kick your ass this Monday Adrenaline Kris, why kid yourself in to thinking that you are as good as I am. You are at a lower level. Hell you should still be in the dark matches. But you are not and that means just quick losses for you. Kris Kronix you need to realize that this is the big time and you are not ready for what is going to happen to you this Monday Night. Kris Kronix you are going see just why everything is better when it comes from Calagry, Alberta, Canada. The Mecca Of Wrestling, The World Capital of Wrestling. . Kris Kronix, Monday Night you will step into the ring with a guy that is ten times.....no.....hundred times better then ever thought of being. Kris Kronix Monday Night will be your first of many losses in the SWF.
[][][] :: The door slams open as the now paranoid Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs looks at the door as a UPS guy walks in, Chris Staggs gives a sigh of relief. :: [][][]
Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs: Now onto Kris's partner Jason Rothchild who seems to think I am an ignoramous. This coming from a guy who attended four year to a two-year community college. What was that you majored in? Cosmetology sounds about right. Jason Rothchild gimmie a break. If I am a jobber Jason, what does that make you? I mean you have faced me twice already. Rothchild you have about as much skill as my partner Drakestone and the way it looks, my partner doesn't have much skill. Anyway that won't effect the outcome of the match in the winner of the match being me. Jason Rothchild what the hell are you thinking, I caught you last promo and you talk about extreme and unusual punishment, listening to you rap sounds like a cow giving birth. Jason Rothchild as mush as you suck as wrestling, you still might want to do that instead of becoming a rapper. I thought I was going to go insane. Jason, you talk about how boring I am too. Well at least I don't sound like a jackass having sex every time I speak. You might think the fans are laughing at your jokes but they are laughing at the way you sound. Face it Jason the only way you could beat me is to start singing in the match and maybe I will passed out from the god awful noise that you produce. Jason Rothchild I have proved that I am a better technical wrestler then you, but somehow you manage to break the rules and get the cheap wins. Well the cheap wins end Monday, I will finally pin you in the middle of the ring. Jason Rothchild you keep running your mouth about the way I talk shit, shit, and more shit. Well it isn't shit, it is the truth. Face it. You are nothing but a main eventer wannabe. You are nothing but a loser. Its the truth. Jason Rothchild you might as well not even show up for the beating that you are going to receive at the hands of the best damn technical wrestler in the SW.....no no......the whole damn world. I plan on proving it again this Monday Night Adrenaline. Jason Rothchild you are fixing to get the beating of a lifetime by yours truly. Jason You have two more days till you have to step into the ring with me. You better get ready for a rude awakening bitch.
[][][] :: Chris Staggs finishes his sentence and begin to lie back on the bench to do some bench press as he looks up and sees who else, you guessed it, the Perky T.G.I. Friday's waiter.. :: [][][]
Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs: AGGGGHHHHHH!!!!! What the......Who the.......Where did you come from.
[][][] :: Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs sits up quickly and stands up and starts to back away :: [][][]
Greg the Perky T.G.I. Friday's waiter: IS THAT ANYWAY TO GREET ME
Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs: How in hell did you find me
Greg the Perky T.G.I. Friday's waiter: I ASKED THE CLERK
Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs: How did they know I was here?
Greg the Perky T.G.I. Friday's waiter: THEY SAW YOU WALKING OUT WITH A GYM BAG
Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs: So, there are about ten gym here
Greg the Perky T.G.I. Friday's waiter: TELL ME ABOUT IT
Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs: Um....okay, now this is starting to freak me out
Greg the Perky T.G.I. Friday's waiter: WHAT BECAUSE I AM A DEVOTED FAN?
Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs: No, you are stalking me....
Greg the Perky T.G.I. Friday's waiter:NO I'M NOT
Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs: No, Then why are you following.
Greg the Perky T.G.I. Friday's waiter: I WANT TO BE IN THE SWF
Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs: What!?!?
Greg the Perky T.G.I. Friday's waiter:WELL, UM, THAT HAS BEEN MY DREAM
Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs: Um.....well......NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Greg the Perky T.G.I. Friday's waiter: WHY?!
Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs: Your too little
Greg the Perky T.G.I. Friday's waiter: TOO LITTLE FOR A MANAGER?
Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs: For who?
Greg the Perky T.G.I. Friday's waiter: UM YOU!!!!!
Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs: No way, I am letting are homo manger who obsessed with me, be my manager.
Greg the Perky T.G.I. Friday's waiter: I AM NOT GAY!!!!!
Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs: Yeah right whatever
Greg the Perky T.G.I. Friday's waiter: I'M NOT!!!!!
Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs: Yeah right
[][][] :: Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs and Greg the Perky T.G.I. Friday's waiter continue this argument for about five minutes until Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs gets tired of it and walks to the locker room as Greg the Perky T.G.I. Friday's waiter follows him :: [][][]
Greg the Perky T.G.I. Friday's waiter: I AM NOT GAY, PLEASE LET ME BE YOUR MANAGER
Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs: If I agree to let you tryout and be my manager well you quit following me
Greg the Perky T.G.I. Friday's waiter: YES YES YES!!!!!!!
[][][] :: Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs walks into the locker room as the door shuts as Greg the Perky T.G.I. Friday's waiter begins to do a stupid little dance as the camera crew shakes there head and then leaves. :: [][][]
[][][] :: CAMERA FADES BLACK:: [][][]
WILL GREG THE PERKY T.G.I FRIDAY'S WAITER BECOME STAGG'S MANAGER, WILL HE QUIT ACTING SO GAY!!!!!!!!!
Greg the Perky T.G.I. Friday's waiter: I AM NOT GAY DAMNIT!!!!!!