LOSER- n los·er [lu z er ] (plural los·ers) noun 1. somebody who does not win 2. somebody unsuccessful or unlucky 3. A Social Misfit syn= Bongo. Aym see definition of Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs
Is The Adrenaline match up between Bongo and Chris Staggs lopsided? YES!
Is the match going to be a stone step for Chris Staggs? You bet
Is the newest and hottest recruit going to despose of Bongo with ease? mmmmm Yep!
Is he going to rule his first SWF matchup like he did in many other federation? Why of course
Is he the next great to hit the SWF since slice bread? Hell yes
Is this match going to take over two minutes ? No Way In Hell!!!!!
[][][] :: Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs is a prime example of Canadain Excellence.......Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs has won some type gold everywhere he has been with quite ease I might add. Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs has mastered the art of technical wrestling and like a true great Canadain didn't stop his learning. He gained some Lucha Libre style wrestling while a stint in Mexico and gained submission type maneuvers in Japan. And like a true Canadain Champion Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs is all-around total package wrestler. This is why Chris "The Main Eventer" will be our next Fan Wrestling Federation Revolution World Heavyweight Champion......Man who the hell wrote this crap. I mean hell Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs isn't running for Prime Minister of Canada is he?. But I am getting paid so I will progress. With all the creditionals you would think that he should facing names like Jason Rothchild or Sycho Kid but in he faces a guy by the name of BONGO?!?!. I mean should Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs takes this as an insult or are the SWF suits trying to see what Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs is capable of. Are they throws this Bongo character to Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs like the Romans threw the Chrisitian to the lions? I guess so. So Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs will wrestle like he is capable of and embarass this Bongo guy like he is capable of and continue to make his up the ladder one rung at a time till he finally gets a chance at the SWF World Heavyweight Championship Title. Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs will prove his nickname the Main Eventer as he steals the show even making that Bongo guy look decent. By the time the show is down all the crowd will be talking about is Chris Staggs this and Chris Staggs that as he will overshadow the Main Event with his impressive wrestling ability or rasslin' for the viewers down South. Monday Night a new SWF star will be born and he will come for the Great North as Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs takes out Bongo with ease and shows the world more importantly the gimmick loving, A.D.D enriched American fans that you don't to have flashy gimmicks to win in the SWF you just have to have skill Now that I finally finished this meaningless narrative I can finally leave. By the way who the hell wrote this stupid shit? ................. Oh he did, I mean who wrote this emmy type narrative. Sorry Chris. ROLL THE PROMO DAMNIT!!! :: [][][]
[][][] :: Camera fades in as you see an Delta plane touching down on the landing strip at a local International Airport. The SWF camera crew walks up to the enterance ramp and waits as folks pass by then Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs is the last on to get off with a disgusted and tired look upon his face. Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs walks out of the enterance ramp and begins to talk. :: [][][]
Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs: Man how dare they put me in coach and in the middle seat at that. I never got to enjoy the flight I sat by a man that was about three hundred pounds and smell like well like an wet dog Then in the aisle sat this annoying kid that kept asking me ARE WE THERE YET ARE WE THERE YET. Damn lets stop by the bar right quick I think needed something to ease my nerves.
[][][] :: Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs and the SWF camera crew walk into the airport bar as two pilots finished there "ADULT BEVERAGES" and start to walk out as they do they begin to talk and the FWF camera creww and Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs hear the connversation. :: [][][]
Pilot #1: Man I am feeling a little tipsy right now..........You ready to get on the plane?
Pilot #2: Yeah I am I just needed to get the edge off I cam scared off heights if I am sober......
Pilot #1: I hear that........
[][][] :: The two pilots walk out of the bar as the camera swings back to Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs who is in disbelief in what he has just heard :: [][][]
Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs: Remind me never to fly Delta again anyways come on lets go get an "Adult beverage"
[][][] :: Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs and The SWF camera crew walk out to the bar as the bartender walks over to them. :: [][][]
Bartender: What will it be fellas?
Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs: Uh I would like a Molson.
Bartender: Sorry sir but we do not carry Molson......
Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs: You got to be kidding. You mean to say an International Airport you do not carry Molson.
Bartender: Umm.....Its really not a hot seller here.
Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs: You must not get any Canadains here.....Cause Molson has to be the best beer......Lets get out of here.
Bartender: See ya later guys
[][][] :: Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs and The SWF camera crew leave the bar and begin to head to luggage claim. As they begin to walk.....Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs begins to talk. :: [][][]
Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs:Man I can't believe they didn't have the greatest beer known to man Molson. Anyway well it looks like my first match in the Superior Wrestling Federation will be a warmup match against some nobody with a stupid name in BINGO no BONGO. He is a newcomer to the federation too . So he has the advantage or edge on me but that is bad news to Bongo cause that means I have the wrestling edge on him. Cause when you begin to talk about wrestling skill the advantage goes to me. When you talk about wrestling ability the advantage goes to me. When you talk about wrestling knowledge the advantage goes to me. In other words this warmup match will be just another walk in the park for me. I mean you got this guy who probaly gets locked into a janitor closet isn't really that big of threat. I mean Bongo makes about much sense as an elephant wearing pants. Bongo is mosty likely a total nutcase. I wouldn't be surprised if he can't find his way to the ring. But if he does. He is in a rude awakening cause I have more wrestling ability in my little pinky then Bongo has in his entire body. I mean how stupid are you to get locked in a janitor's closet. I can outsmart Bongo to win. I mean he isn't exactly a brain surgeon but in the United States he would be pretty close. Anyway Bongo isn't much I have to worry about. I mean just look at him he is about 6 foot something and around 250 pounds of idiotic United States garbage. While I am 6'1 and 225 pounds of Canadain Excellence......So in other words Bongo give up you have no chance of beating me Bongo you are going to wish you have never been signed in this match cause I will make it a living hell for you cause I am THE MAIN EVENTER and you well you are nothing but an idiotic no skilled wrestler with no hopes of winning. Hell there is a slim chance of you finding the ring. I mean Bongo come on you think you can actually beat me. You are crazier then you look. Bongo I am the greatest techincal wrestler in the SW........no no.......in the whole wrestling industry. And Monday Night I will prove it at Aderaline
[][][] :: Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs and SWF camera crew reach the baggage claim as you see hundred of people standing around. Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs looks at the camera crew and wait :: [][][]
[][][] :: The luggage starts to appear on the belt. Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs stands there waiting for his luggage. The luggage goes through as Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs surveys the belts. The luggage keeps coming and still no luggage for Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs. Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs spots it and grabs his luggage. All of a sudden an old little 80 year old women starts to beat the crap out Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs with her purse. Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs lets go of the luggage and the old little 80 year old grabs the luggage and walks off :: [][][]
Old Little 80 year old women: Little Pervert wanting to see my see-through thongs..
[][][] :: Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs almost vomits as the old little 80 year old women walks off. :: [][][]
Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD THAT IS BEYOND GROSSNESS. WHERE THE HELL IS MY LUGGAGE!!!!!! I need to find before I am going to be sick. ErrrrrEwwwww
[][][] :: Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs stands there and looks at the belt as the last piece of luggage goes through. Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs stands there till all the luggage is gone. Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs walks over to the desk for the baggage lost & found. :: [][][]
Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs: Have you found any luggage for Chris Staggs
Clerk: Let me check....
[][][] :: The Clerk goes to the back for a few minutes and comes back. :: [][][]
Clerk: Sorry, but there is no luggage with the name Chris Staggs
Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs: Damnit,
Clerk:You can leave you name and number and we will check and call you if we find it..
Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs: Okay.....wait.......you said if....didn't you?
Clerk:Yes, sometimes they are never found......
Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs: WHAT!!!!!Well here is the info.....Chris Staggs at Marriot room 403.
Clerk: Thank you
Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs: Yeah whatever......
[][][] :: Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs leaves the desk and begins to walks to the car rental desk and talks to the FWFR camera crew as he does. :: [][][]
Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs: Lets end the promo before anything else happens to me.
[][][] :: Chris "The Main Eventer" Staggs turns back around and begins to talk to the car rental clerk :: [][][]
[][][] :: Camera fades black :: [][][]
WILL CHRIS "THE MAIN EVENTER" STAGGS EVER FIND HIS LUGGAGE TUNE IN NEXT PROMO TO SEE!!!!!!!!!