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"The King of Idiots: You're Freaky" I sent shockwaves through the IW when I challenged Shawn Jackson's crown. Why? Are they scared of the power that I can have? Are they scared that an idiot would rule them? Fear is something that everyone has even the King himself. I am afraid of the dark. Yeah I admit it. I have a royal night light to keep me comfort. Yet these posers show no fear when they to call themselves the king? Nefarious wants to be known as the king. Yeah we might call you that when you aren't jumping up and down yelling look at me, I'm a tough nigga. I'm an educated nigga. I'm an original nigga who attempts lame copies of other people's ideas. Whateva FO SHO! That doesn't make you the king. You are nothing more than a unpopular jester trying to get attention. Keep juggling the balls someone might clap back for you. Memphis Gray wants to be the king ,yet I already takin' down the king once. I was the one that ended his reign. Memphis has never been the same since then. So now as I challenge for the crown, people must realize that their can only be one true king. That will be me. Shawn Jackson I continue to prove that I am King material. I will take that crown. I will rep it with complete pimpness. So it is time for all of you to back up.. "Back Up" [Intro:] I gave them a second chance and this is what my ghostwriters came up with? Were they drunk when they wrote this? Shawn, I see why it is hard to be the king. It is hard to find good help these days. No problem, I still got the respect from the fans. See Shawn Jackson, the reason you were the role model was just cause I wasn't in the IW long enough to get the fans on my side. See Shawn, I got the whole crowd chanting my name. Their kids want to be just like me. I was the first true IW Babyface of the Year. Why not let me take the crown and rule with Scooby Doo cartoons. Saturday May 28th, 2005 Hotel Room 227 ( King Staggio's Palace ) 12:24 pm Ever since I had to put my queen and jester back in line with some back hands. They have been on their best behavior. They are showing me respect. Finally I have realized why I hadn't been getting respect. I mean I have to beat respect into people. Why not start by beating respect into nine of the best IW superstars? I will get respect when I have a gold strap matching my gold crown. I get guess that is what King Staggio is going to have to do. Though first I have to get some royal grub. "Pig where is my dinner?" I demanded to know as my tummy was rumbling as the King needed some grub so I would have energy to rule. "......................................" How dare this pig not jump to the kitchen when I asked for my dinner. Does she need to be taught respect again? "Pig, did you hear me?" I would give her a second chance. Maybe she didn't her me. Though if she didn't jump to the kitchen, I would have to teach her respect again. "..............................." How dare she! She still just sat there. Doesn't she know that King Staggio told her to do something? "Fine then have it your way." With that I back handed her to the floor. Though the sick thing is that she seemed to like it. She liked getting smacked around by me. She had the same goof grin on her face. "YOU SICK FREAK!" Hey I was freaked out. I mean most people don't like getting smacked around. "............................." She just continued to smile at me. I was more freaked out than Shaggy and Scooby Doo seeing a ghost for the first time. I shook off the shock. I then proceeded to slap the taste of Miss Piggy's mouth again. She flew across the room. I smirked in delight that I was teaching this pig respect. I walked over to her and she looked at me smiling. Though the scary thing is it excited me a little. She liked getting smacked around. " What you like getting smacked around huh?" I slapped in the face again. She just kept on smiling. Just then Chris Naggs walked into room as he watched was going on for a few moments before he spoke up. This interrupted my onslaught on Miss Piggy. "That is just wrong man. You are slapping around a stuffed pig that you think is into some sadomasicist type shit. You have something really wrong with your head." I couldn't believe I was hearing the total disrespect from this little man. I mean he knew better to talk back to me. He knew better than to question me. He knew not to use big words in front of me. "How dare you question the King." He better realize who he was speaking too unless he wanted to receive the same fate that Miss Piggy was enduring. "Sorry uh King Staggio but this is just plain wrong ?" Wrong? What was wrong with getting a little respect. Does he not understand how hard it is to be king? Wait he doesn't, he doesn't have the type personality to be king like me. I am a likeable man. That is why I am the new IW Role Model. That is why I am fixing to take the crown from King Jackio. "Respect isn't wrong" He was the one that was wrong for stopping me. He was the one that hindering my campaign. He was going to have to learn. I drew my hand back as he interrupted me. "I'm sorry. Anyway why don't we go out to eat" Ah he was smart. He knew I wasn't going to turn down dinner. I mean to tell you the truth, Miss Piggy couldn't cook at all. I had to be fed like the king I am. "Fine that suits King Staggio" Sure I could have Miss Piggy fix my dinner. Though the only reason I was doing that was to show my power. I mean the only reason I told her to make me dinner was to show my power. You know the same thing Nefarious does with quotes. He wants to show off his tape recorder he got a radio shack. "..............................................." I figured the pig would want to go out to eat. We all knew she couldn't cook and I think she knew she couldn't cook either. So with that we left to go out to eat. You know I thought that with a couple of slaps to the face that I would earn respect from them. Though that backfired on me as Miss Piggy actually liked that. Imagine that, I bet Shawn Jackson's queen didn't like to get smacked around. That just shows how my reign will be great. Heck I make people like my beatings. Anyway it looks like to get actual respect from the whole roster I will have to wear the IW InterNational title around my waist. "Dick Ridin' with a Thuggin Image." Yeah you caught me Nefarious. I am dick' ridin Ess Jay. Whateva' you know with that tape recorder you would have thought that you would have caught the part where I was challenging his crown. Yeah I know I did every thing he has done. That was because I was showing him that I can do it just as good as or better than him. You can call it sucking up or whateva. Yet I am not ridin' his dick. I know the ideas aren't original unlike you who tries to play the stolen ideas off as your own. Why don't you wait two weeks before stealing an idea. Yeah you were original to come back at Andrew Davis Lite with his own Mr. Potato Head. That took a lot of thought. Yeah not everybody in the match is taking excerpts out of each other promos. Did everybody in this match buy a tape recorder? You wanna make fun of my lyrics? Go ahead and listen after the song ends I say that I can't help it that I can't find good ghostwriters. Though you were too busy jumping up and down thinking that you actually found a mistake, you were going to murder me with it. Whateva FO SHO! So I said I'm Mike Jones. Oh man I am such an idiot. Oh wait I openly admit that. Then again I flip flop on subjects, you really can't tell what I say as fact. I admitted I was wanksta. Oh wait I was being sarcastic. Don't tell me you are like Alex Luciano and don't get it. Do I need to break out a dictionary for you? Oh well what do I expect from a guy that calls me a racist pig and a wanksta in the same promo. Make your mind up. I am either a wanksta or a racist pig. I can't be both. I mean I don't hate myself. This isn't a Dave Chappelle skit. Oh well you still got me by telling my I am not funny. Oh man I am so depressed. Wow I can't believe you are the first nigga to do that ever. I mean now I have to go back to Def Comedy Jam and get some new material. Please I don't care if you find me funny or not. All I know is that after the match you will find the crown on my head and the InterNational title around my waist. "It doesn't matter if you are black or white, Trent Paul?" Black or white it doesn't matter for you Trent Paul. You are still coming out with the stupid recycled stuff I have heard the last two years. I can't win the big one. Yeah That is why I have held every title in the IW except for the Overdrive title. That is why I held the all the SWF titles except the SWF Overdrive title. My gosh you are so right. I can't win the big one. That little Overdrive title just seems out of my grasp. Oh wait I never had a shot at the Overdrive title in the SWF or IW. Trent Paul you think just cause I lost a couple of world title matches that makes me a choke artist? Uh well let me ask you this, how many world titles have you won? Oh wait my world title victory was over Memphis Gray. That means nothing right? Yeah that really doesn't mean a thing. Oh wait Memphis Gray had the longest title reign in IW history. Geez, I am starting to wonder why people are calling me an idiot. I mean heck most of the opponents in this match are starting to sound dumber than me. Really this is starting to make me wonder if I am the dumbest guy in the match. I mean do they think before they speak? Of course they don't. If they did, they would leave themselves wide open for such idiot to point it out to them. I guess I will also have to point out the IW InterNational Title that will be around my waist to them too. "OH MY GOD IT'S Charlie Murphy!? Wait that's Juke Nina James, nevermind" Charlie Murphy......Juke Nina James, they are the same type nigga. They both hang on to the coattails of their talented and famous relative. Though Juke, you kind of didn't follow it all the way. You see Juke, at least Charlie tried acting. You went a whole other direction. You should have tried basketball instead of wrestling. Oh well now you have to kiss up to a bunch niggas butts who are just taking advantage of you for NBA Final tickets. You know after the finals that you are out of the group. Though go ahead think you are in the crowd. Also think that you and your cellmate were just good friends who both like to sleep on the bottom bunk together. Juke Nina James, you might think of me as just another Mike Tyson but I still have a right that will knock you down for a ten count. "Are you sure that is pure evil? " Zagan for a guy that two hundred pounds of pure evil, all you can say to me is that I am not a threat cause I date Miss Piggy, that is just pathetic. Boy I am glad you weren't three hundred pounds plus of pure evil then you might would have called me stupid and ugly. I have watched a bunch of Scooby Doo cartoons that had demons in them and I have to say that you might possibly be the least scary demon I have ever seen. Have you been hangin out with the goth crowd too much? Has Tyler Anderson hurt your pure evil ways? Has your pure evil ways been lost in a Nine Inch Nail song? I mean I was expecting a lot from a demon. I got to say I am really let down. I was hoping to see your head spin or something. All I got is pale guy with dreadlocks that insults my relationship with Miss Piggy. Yeah, I'm scared now. By the way Nefarious that was sarcasm. Zagan, you might want to check though scales again before you come back at me. "Muendo still sucks 15 years later, Miguel" Miguel Grazianni, I am sorry that I went off on you in the last promo. I mean I didn't realize who I was talking too. I mean the IW had a press conference for you. I should have known you were someone. Wait nevermind it seems like the IW gives a press conference to every one and for everything. Heck they even let AVI have a press conference to discuss The Movement's affairs. I mean how pointless is that? Then that is the same way I feel about your opinions on me. I'm was never good? Then you go and say I fell off. If I am not any good to start with then how do I fall off? Anyway I guess I got over here in the IW on my good looks. Thank you Miguel. Who knew that looks could take you to the IW World title. Who knew they could make you the first ever IW InterNational champion. Who knew they could make you part of the most dominant tag team in IW history. Oh well I just hope my good looks get me another reign at the IW InterNational title. Please Miguel, did you buy the book How to Cut a Promo For Dummies ? I mean let's see you said I was never good. I never heard that before. I can't remember Miguel was that in trash talking basics part of the book? You hold a press conference like people knew you. I never heard of you before like the rest of the roster. You have flashbacks galore. I'm glad you had people taping your life twenty and fifteen years ago. I wished I was that popular when I was nine years old. I guess I am thankful though for one thing and that is your promo didn't end in STATIC. I always thought my television was messing up when that happened. Miguel you know if you follow that book all the way to the end, it still won't help you win the title You will just fade into the crowd. Though I will stand out from the crowd with my crown on my head. The king is going to take this match. "Back to the future III sucked." This clone went and did something worse than Back to the Future Part III. He went and brought back some Movement rejects. I mean Andrew, I know you were the people's favorite Movement member ,but that doesn't mean you can up and bring Andre West and Washington Parks back. You just jumped the shark when you did that. I thought you had something till you did that. I liked the Mr. Potato Head thing. I just can't enjoy a promo consisting of some DRWF rejects in your promo. Wait you are a clone maybe you can go back and see if the bugs can be worked out. I really hope you take my advice and do that. You were doing so good till you brought them in. Oh well maybe when you get that fixed you can have a chance at the IW InterNational Title. "Where did that mask go?" You know I watch The Grinch who Stole Christmas for over twenty years and I never would have thought that The Grinch would be black. Though that is cool. I mean I would have to think The Grinch was black when he went from Malik Shabazz III to The Grinch. Then again you could have went to the same doctor Trent Paul and changed from white to green to black. I really don't care. All I know is that you can't steal the IW InterNational title this time. They got nine guys looking at the same thing. It is a whole lot harder to steal it when everyone in the arena is looking at it. "Grab a Kleenex" Tyler Anderson, where are you? Did your mascara run when you were doing a line and now you are out of mascara? Are you still waiting for your black fingernails to dry before you cut a promo? I am just wondering. Oh wait I forgot you are just a another druggie that I have to deal with. Another druggie that I have to defeat. If you don't know I am undefeated against crack heads. Though don't worry I am not going to do like half of the opponents in the match and show some picture of Edward Scissorhands. I know that is played out. It wasn't funny when Olde Man Rivers done it and it hasn't been funny when half of the people in the match did it. Tyler Anderson, I just hope your make-up artist gets back so you can cut a promo. Then again if I wanted to see some goths I would have joined the GWA when it was open. "Return of Joseph Mason....June 8th, 2014?" Joseph Mason, will be here, he just might be a little late I heard. I heard he can't find anyone to help him get to the arena. Oh well maybe he will show up and put on the greatest show on Earth. The only problem is that the show will be long over. Joseph Mason, you might show and you might not. All I know is that your always late and you will miss the boat on the InterNational title. You might make it there long enough to get a shot at the IW Overdrive title. I am confused to why I am spending this much time on you. I don't even know if you will make the show on time. "So nine challengers to the King?" Yeah,
they want the IW InterNational title, they are going to have to go through
the king. Yet not one single guy has said anything original. I'm a wanksta?
a idiot? unfunny? Please try to come at me when something original. |
