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"The King of Idiots: Do I have to Smack a Pig" I lost to a Farnsworth Bentley in training. What have I become? How could I lose to Nayshawn Orange? Now we get to see Puff Daddy smack around Farnsworth Bentley in the main event for the world title. YAY! That is about as exciting as watching the Country Music Awards. Why did I lose? Is Evalina right? Is Miss Piggy effecting my focus? Do I need to double my Ritalin doses? Wait I gotta show this pig who the king is. I gotta show her what King Staggio is all about. YEAH BABY! THE KING OF THE STREET....Sesame Street is here and I don't take no lip from no one not even this pig. You better bow down and show mad respect to the new king. Yeah the Movement has a hundred kings but all their crowns are from Burger King. King Jackio move over. Your crown is being challenged. Just hand me the crown and everything will be cool. You want see my power eh? Fine then. "BACK THEN" "Back then
Juke Nina James was kissin' his cousin' butt, now he's trying to do
the same thing to Tha Movement"
"Back then Miguel Grazianni was on the other side of the
border, now he still worth nothing more than a quarter" Yeah see I got so much power that I got ghostwriters doing this stuff for me. Though I need to show my power some more by getting some better ghostwriters. These ghostwriters suck. Anyway King Jackio, you see I got the game to be king all I need if for you to step aside. You use to be the role model but you ask any 9 year old wrestling fan and they say they want to grow up and be just like me. I'm the new role model. I'm the new king. Now just pass the torch. Thursday May 19th, 2005 Hotel Room 227 ( King Staggio's Palace ) 12:24 pm King Staggio is here so you better bow down and realize that you chumps don't have anything on me. I am in my palace otherwise known as my hotel room. I was pacing back and forth trying to figure out how some two bit Suge Knight wannabe defeated me. "How did I lose to some Starbucks drinking Farnsworth Bentley wannabe?" I demanded to know as the pig just sat there with the same expression. Who did she think she was? "Are you going to answer me?" This pig should have started speaking before she made tha king mad. "....................................." Yeah just stare at me with that same look on your face. No wonder you are stuck in the same role over and over again. You never change! "You still don't know!? The King has asked you a question." Now I was ticked off. This pig was playing dumb and quite well I might add. "...................................." This was getting annoying. The pig wasn't answering me and I wanted her to answer me. She just sat on the couch looking at me. " Does King Staggio have to smack a pig!?" I threatened her with violence. Why? Cause I'm the KING BABY! And I can get away with it. "....................................." The pig must have not thought I would go through with it as she just sat there. So I had enough of the utter disrespect this pig was showing me so I walked over to the pig and looked at her. I gave a smirk that only a king could give and proceeded to back hand the heck out of her. I smacked pig so hard that I sent her across the room. I laughed. "BWAHAHAHAHA" Yeah it was king laugh. " Since you won't answer my question, I will answer it for you. You are the reason I lost the match last week. You are the reason that I lost to a two bit Suge Knight wannabe. Ugh you have embarrassed the king you deserved the back hand." Yeah The king has spoken. She better not talk back to the king if she didn't want another back hand. "............................." Oh now she is crying. The pig should have answered me when I asked a question. Now she is laying on the floor crying her lard butt off. " You are the reason I am not in the main event. You are the reason why we have to see a lackluster match for the IW World Title. We have a teenager against some lackey with an ego. Thanks a lot" Yeah I was letting her have it. What was she going to do? I was the king. She couldn't talk back unless she wanted another backhand sandwich. ".........................." The nerve of this pig. How dare she try to say it wasn't her fault. "Not your fault? ARE YOU BLAMING THA KING!?" The pig just didn't know when to stop. I proceeded to back hand the pig again as she crashed against the television. This pig was going to learn how to bow down to the king if it killed her. Though my royal teaching was interrupted by the jester Chris Naggs. He entered the room. "Chris, what are you doing in here?" He was questioning the King too. "How dare you disrespect me. Please refer to me as King Staggio." The complete disrespect Naggsy was showing me was insulting to me. " I'm not going to call you king." He was revolting against me. There was only one thing left to do. Another disrespectful subject had to be dealt with as I back handed Naggsy knocking the taste out of his mouth. Naggsy looked back at me with fire in his eyes. " It's KING STAGGIO!" I demanded to him. "FUCK YOU!" HOW RUDE! DID HE CURSE AT ME!? " WHAT!?!" I was tired of this disrespect. " Don't you ever slap me again." This was funny. He was telling the king what not to do!? I backhanded him to show him the power of the king. This time I put much more force behind it as I knocked him to the ground. This time the fire in Naggsy eyes went out as he finally realized I was the king. He rubbed his face a few minutes before getting up. "What's my name?" I wanted to see if I finally slapped some sense into him. "K-K-K-King Staggio" Finally RESPECT! Hmm maybe this is what I have to do to get respect that I deserve in the IW. I have held almost every belt. I have done more things in the IW than most of IW. I deserve respect from everyone including Shawn Jackson. "That's right and don't you forget it." Yeah it is good to be the king. Now back to my main focus. Miss Piggy. I turn back around and focused on her. She was still in the same place I left her. She had been crying. I could see in her eyes. "Now Miss Piggy, accept responsibility for my loss." I mean she should. It wasn't the King's fault he lost. I mean what kind of role model would that be? I mean to lose to some reject named Nayshawn Orange. ".................................." This pig doesn't want to learn. I smacked her again as she flew against the wall. I smirked again and gave a royal laugh. "BWAHAHAHAHA!" Foolish pig she wasn't going to die for her stupidity if she kept this up. "..................................." Finally after the third smack she realized it was her fault I lost. I couldn't focus on the match. It was her reason that The Movement was in control. She finally realized it was her fault. "Don't worry. The King is going to take control of the InterNational Title and work my way to the World Title. That is where the king belongs." My plan was set. I would capture the IW InterNational title and then conquer the IW World Title. It was the same plan that led me to the IW World Title last time. Though this time I would have a longer reign. I wouldn't be overthrown in my reign by some fluke by the name of Dude Job. "Now pig get yourself cleaned up and go fix me some dinner now. The King has spoken." With that I returned to my throne and proceeded to watch SpongeBob Squarepants. I had settled the dispute and put the rebels back in their place. All in a days work for the King. "Wanksta? Put away that 50 Cent CD already, Nefarious" Yeah I am a wanksta. OH YOU BURNED ME! I AM SO DEPRESSED. Whateva FO SHO! You know you are the first person to ever call me that. Yeah right. I don't care what you call me. All I know is that you are just another newcomer trying to act like you ain't scurred. You called out the whole roster. Ew no one has ever done that before. You must be tough. You insulted everyone on the roster just hoping some big shot would mention you back and I made the mistake of acknowledging you. Now you are like Elmo, you always bugging people to notice you. I bet you will quit after this match when all nine other guys are staring down at you. Oh wait I better be careful what I say he might MISQUOTE ME!!! Or even worse and show an image of me. Please Nefarious come back at me with something more original cause if I wanted to see Mr. Potato Head images I would have watched Andrew Davis's original. If I wanted to see a quote dissected I would have viewed any Alex or Jimmy Luciano promo. Your act has been done numerous times before and done better before too. "Face Value? How much did your plastic surgery cost, Trent Paul?" I mean really how much did it cost to go from black to white? Did you get the Jeff Harris discount? You tell me that people don't take me serious cause I act like an idiot? Well at least people can take me serious when I tell them I am white. You know Trent Paul you talk about I am still doing the same thing. Well it seems you are still the same type of guy too well on the personality part. You still think you are smooth and clever yet you still mediocre at best and people rarely notice you. Heck I am the one of the first guys to notice you aren't black anymore. Then again no one really noticed you in the SWF or IW. Oh well I guess IW has yet another guy to add the quest for the IW Overdrive title. So Trent Paul go aim for the third place. "Former Shell? At least my shell doesn't include leeching off my famous cousin" Does he let you wash his Escalade? Do you shine the 22s where he can see himself? Does he smack you upside the head when he can't? Juke Nina James you are like Smokey in that Friday movie. You just tag along and take the left overs. Are you going to let some Movement knock out Zagan then are you going to go over him and tell him he got KNOCKED THE FOCK OUT!? Juke Nina James really you think The Movement is keeping you around for your talent? Please, they just keeping you around for the NBA tickets. Yet you crack on me for being a former IW Champion? I am loser cause I haven't regained the title? Then that makes Shawn Jackson, Brent Kersh, and even your fellow Movement member Memphis a loser too. Oh wait you didn't mean that did you? If you did then all the sucking up you been doing to Shawn Jackson and Memphis Gray will be for nothing. "Demons aren't real" I'm not a threat cause I date Miss Piggy? Are you an idiot? I have more power because I date Miss Piggy. I mean I have Hollywood pull now. You well you are a demon that doesn't believe in cursing. Yeah I'm scared. I am shaking in my boots. By the way Alex Luciano that is sarcasm. Zagan, you can consider me not a threat yet I am the only one in this match that has held the IW InterNational title and IW World title. Yeah that is a get idea consider me not a threat and you will just be proven wrong. Your plan will go as well as Cobra's plan does in G.I.. Joe. Then again I am facing a demon. Whateva FO SHO! I faced a zombie before and lived to talk about it. I can do the same with a demon. "Choke on this Miguel" I fell off? I haven't strung back to back wins? Hmm I'm 2 and 1. I have had only three or so matches since coming back? Yet you make the claim that I fell off? Whateva FO SHO! You call me a choke artist. Yeah I haven't heard that one either. Yet if I was a choke artist then I wouldn't be a former IW World Champion, IW Tag Team Champion, and finally an IW InterNational Champion would I? I am confused so I slip up and let some reject beat me. That makes me a choke artist? Yeah that makes a lot of sense. You know I am starting to wonder why are people insulting my intelligence when most of the stuff these people are throwing at me are dumber then anything I would say? Miguel, this is your first match you think you can win it? Please it isn't going to be that easy. You will see when you step into the ring and get your butt knocked to the mat. "Movement B? Please don't bring out Andre West" Andrew Davis Lite. I thought you were cool. I thought you were awesome. Then you had to go and put Andre West and Washington Park in your promo. WHY!? What is next? Joey Johnson in the background? I mean come on. I know you are trying to take on the Movement ,but this isn't the way. They will quit at the first sign of trouble. I mean I thought you were cloned from Andrew Davis. I know he wouldn't have done that. He would have had a much clever and funnier way of doing it. Then again you are just a clone. I know I can take you on in the match. You may be blacker than the Movement but that just means you will just feel the heat quicker. Andrew Davis Lite you are the only that I respect in this match. "Who stole your spot?" Grinch are you still planning on how to steal the IW InterNational Title? Is that where you are. Are you having a fight with yourself. Does Malik Shabaaz III want to come out and play? I don't care who it is. You still aren't ever going to be respected unlike The King. As for last week I don't care what I signed. You lost the IW Tag Team title you promised me. As far as I am concerned the deal is off cause I didn't get the IW Tag Team Title I was promised. Grinch you can say that I signed a contract ,but I will show you that I am as concerned as Shaggy is about giving up weed. Grinch keep plotting ,but you can't steal the IW InterNational Title again. You have to come up with another plan. This time you might want to make sure you can hang on to it. "Another line?" Tyler Anderson, are you too messed up to respond? Are you trying to get your drug fix? Is this going to another druggie I have to defeat. My gosh Shawn Jackson. You better pull a Bud Selieg and starting testing these wrestlers from drugs. Wait on second thought that would just leave me. Anyway Tyler Anderson, what is wrong? Did your make-up artist take vacation and you can't be seen on television without it? I don't care cause I know that as the King I am better than some goth with a drug problem. The King is better than everyone. "Return of a star?" Joseph Mason, people say you lost a step since you won When Worlds Collide. Well I hate to ,but I agree with them on that. I mean you rarely show up and when you do you are late. You are starting to fail as a wrestler. You took the IW to great heights then left it in shambles as CEO. I mean look at what you left it too. You have two Movement members fighting for the IW World Title. AGH! I am going to kick your butt just for that. Joseph Mason, you are probably going to comeback and verbally assault everyone......after the pay per view. Oh well I guess we will hear from you in a week or so. It all depends if you get help or not. "So nine challengers to the King?" Are
these guys the best nine that AVI would approve of? Oh well The King isn't
that picky. I will just rise above them and capture the IW InterNational
title. The King's empire is fixing to spread. |
