Catch Phrases

I'm gonna be all over you like a hobo eatin a waffle!

Damn the lycanthropy!

dont sass me boy or i'll smack ya with a golden biscit!

Kids can be cruel, especially the one's with tasers.

If you want to know a person, walk a mile in their shoes. if you want to become a woman, oh there are the cutest pumps at JC Penny, oh my god, i mean they go with my purse, but i dont have a dress or blouse to go with them!!

ive been attacked by a bear and i cant get up!

bury this dead elephant.

I cant stop you from doing what you want, but i sure as hell can wall you up in the basement!! HAHAHAHAHAHAH! (maniacal laughter)

I could be wrong, I normally am wrong, I am wrong.

AHHH!!! FOODMAKER!!

My God! She's trying to Mufficate him!

Love is blind, but lust is parapalegic.

You can turn away from the kitten, but the kitten will always love you.

You can't marry an aborted fetus of the same sex to get a green card.

She's cute as a bunny and sexy as a puma!

I never killed a man I didn't like, so that means I kill everybody I like!

I feel so CAPABLE!!

She's a col' hearted jive ass bitch.

You know you've got problems when you lay awake at night wondering if your friends put acid in your mead.

What is this, the Rapture?! Everybody's leavin but me!!"

Like a blind man at an orgy, I knew I was going to have to feel this one out.

Like a midget at a urinal, I knew I was going to have to stay on my toes.
Do you think male racoons go after coon tang?

JesusChristSuperStar what?

Go to hell! .. Ladies first! - Charles Bronson in one of those Death Wish's

Watch me kill a whole place full of scientists.

Do you have any spongebob toys? No, sorry we're out. DAMN!!!! - Eric at Burger King before he sped off

Transcript of a conversation between Chris and Eric while standing outside his garage:
Chris: Have you registered for classes yet?

Eric: No, not yet.

Chris: Dude! You really need to do that.

Eric: Yea, I know. And all the classes I want might be filled up by the time I actually get registered.

Chris: yea, tell me about it.

Eric: Yea, and then I'm just going to have to go around killing random people in the hopes that they took the class I want so a spot can open up!

That should be a quote on the website!!!!

Ling Wen so pretty!!!!
(Ling Wen Tsai was Eric's sculpture teacher last semester, and she so pretty!!)

You're just itching for somebody to have power of attorney over your ass.

When it snows we're gonna make a snow lesbian.

Daddy drinks because you cry.

Kathy was so bad her mom stopped loving her.

She can protect me. She's pretty. I can keep her in a ball.

It'd be so much easier if I could just draw a pentagram on the ground in chalk and just kinda summon you.

If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, .. it probably just wants to try and fix the problems it thinks you have because of a deep rooted motherly instinct that isn't really love at all.

Oh sure you think you're cool NOW.... until I hit you with a train.

You can't get toxic shock syndrome from sticking markers up your cooch.

Mom! Death doesn't know what he's doing!

You almost killed us all in your mad drive to create. Congrats! There's no stoppin you!!

"Once....two mice...fell...into a bucket of cream.....the first mouse.....quickly drowned...while the..other mouse..struggled so...much...that he..he turned that cream into butter....and crawled out.."

They call me Billy the Kid. .. Because my name's Billy, and I'm a kid.

I don't have to fight you, cuz you're already dead!

It's like having a rolo, but death!

Everyone loves a rolo, except when it's full of bullets.

Who needs to kill when I can turn into a puff of smoke?

If I lose my fries, everybody dies!!

Ow, puffy cheek!

I'm just WAITING for Parappa the Red Snappa.

I wish I could fart sweet memories of the past.

I don't need the lasso of truth to know 'that'!

only YOU can fatten my bank account! (inspired by a thieving forest bear who stole 8000 from me)

Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk, I'm a woman's man: no time to talk.

I don't watch the news: I've been huffing pesticide.

I'm just a little kid with a wrench.

We can't just masterbate around now. (said by the vulgar lawyers I used to work for)

Hey, are you up on your slang terms for the vagina?

Aw, he's like a big ol' care bear!... that chews tobacco and has an anger management problem.

"my boobs smell like laundry detergent"
"laundry detergent is great"
"all boobs should smell like laundry detergent."

I should never strip for anyone.

"How do you eat your reese's cup?"
"With her legs wrapped around my neck!"

I am protected by forces you cannot even BEGIN to understand!!
Soooo... lets just say I have a gun.

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