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May 30th 2002 - Okay, this is the oddest week possible. Well, that's not entirely true, but damn if it isn't weird enough to warrent a huge rant!! First off, on Memorial Day (not night), Liz and Kim's apartment was broken into. The strange thing about that was no one even touched Liz's room, and only a couple of things were stolen from Kim, those things being: vcr, her grandpa's class ring, an expensive ring that her girlfriend bought her, and some cd's. Not even cd's that were in the cases, just almost random cd's that were laying out! I'm sorry, I know it's a tradgedy when 'anyone' gets robbed, but really, they didn't do a very good job. So that was really horrible and the police can't really do anything because as the cop who was there told us, the law kind of works for the criminal and not for the victim since the victim has the problem of trying to prove that the things stolen were theirs. He suggested taking a metal shop pencil and engraving your social security number on the underside of all your electrical equipment, etc. and/or writing down the serial numbers of all your stuff and keeping the paper somewhere safe. That way, if the cops do find your stuff, they'll be able to return it to you instead of auctioning it off because you didn't have the proof that what they had was in fact your stuff. It's pretty sad actually. So anyway, onto the next odd thing. Yesterday I got a call from someone I haven't heard from in a year and a half, this girl Sara who owes me 60 bucks. There's also a girl named Drea who I used to hang out with who 'also' owes me 60 bucks, but that's another story. She was telling me all about her life and that she wanted to hang out with me that night. I was reluctant but she said she would pay me back my 60 dollars. I said okay, but I sure as heck wasn't expecting to get my money back. So I hang out with her and we go to a couple of bars which were horrible!! It was like a drunk version of summer camp. In the last bar we went to they had a DJ and they had the people on the dance floor make up teams to do these stupid games like passing something from their neck to their teammates neck, only using their necks. I'm sure you've seen this done, or possibly done it yourself. It was really stupid and I didn't really like being there, but since Sara was paying for me, I couldn't really say no. So afterward, Sara decided she wanted to go to "the boat", which really means gambling if you don't have such things as riverboat gambling. I've never been to a casino, and I never really had much interest in going, and after going I never want to go back!! First off, the area we were in smelled like poop. The reason for this is because it's basically very wet land, plus the sewer department plant is right next door! Yay! So that was gross. Then, we get into the casino and it was the most depressing and almost vulgar place I have ever frequented. Not saying people were cussing up a storm, but it was so raunchy that it took on a vulgar quality. We probably stayed there for maybe two hours, and in that time, Sara managed to stick fifty dollars worth of nickels into these loud and bright blinking machines with the promise of winning money. Do you know how much she and I won? Nothing. I have no clue why she thought she was going to win anything just playing nickel slots, but evidently she did. I can conclude that the casino experience is definitely not for me. I wasn't even spending my money and it was a horrible experience. At least I'm hoping that Sara's not going to say the 50 dollars she spent 'was' the money she was going to pay me back with because that's just evil and I'd have to feed her kneecaps to the gophers. And after the gophers were finished with her, I'd turn her knuckles into nickles and feed them to the bright and loud blinking machines that eat cash. I don't know how to turn knuckles into nickles, but I'm sure I'll find a way. It was also really disgusting that my hands were covered in silver and shiny dirt/dust because money is dirty! So yeah, that night sucked. The 'only' good and redeeming quality of the night was when we were escorted out of the last bar we were at by this really hot guy who worked there because some other guy who Sara knew doesn't like her and she didn't want to pass by him without protection. Now, we come to today. Today was okay, but I had really bad abdominal pains among other things. Not fun at all. Then my grandma came over because she wanted me to scan and print a LOT of old old old family pictures from the 1930's for her and a couple of people she knew. That was actually okay and fun to see all these old pictures. It makes me feel like pictures nowadays might 'look' better, but they lack the style and soul from way back when. The last thing that made my week odd (and it's not even OVER yet!) was that I got 'another' call from someone I hadn't heard from in a long time. It was this girl Angie. I actually like Angie, she was really cool when I talked to her in highschool, but we never really hung out because we were school friends, not "outside" school friends. So she says that she found my picture and it had my number on the back and she figured she'd give me a call. I basically was a complete and total shit head now that I think about it. I don't know what came over me. I think I was overwhelmed by the whole Sara calling me out of the blue when I haven't talked to her in a year and a half, but I haven't talked to Angie in like four, five, or even SIX years. We just kind of lost touch while in school. So here's where I'm a big shit to her. I'm not ashamed to admit it, I don't want any new friends. I barely see the friends I have 'now' because we're all so busy, I don't have time in my life to add someone else to the mix that I a) haven't talked to in a long time, and b) probably won't see, thus having more people giving me guilt trips about my time. So I kind of told her that I was glad she was alive, but that I was busy helping my grandma, and when she asked if I wanted her number to call her back sometime, I told her that I really 'would' like to call her back but that I probably wasn't going to because I just don't have time in my life. I felt like a complete f-ker because I have too much of a conscious and I feel as if I have to be nice to everybody. I should start getting over that aspect of my life, so why not start with Angie? Maybe it's just me who doesn't feel the need to rekindle old pals. I still have Angie's picture, and I don't have to "find" it to have her number and call her, I just choose not to. I have lots of numbers in my yearbooks that I could call, but I'm not going to, because that would feel weird somehow. Guess I'm just anti-social or something. The very last piece of news I have that also happened today is that I now have a job. Evidently there was an opening for a cashier at the pool and they called me so I took the job. Again I feel bad because I want free time to find scholarships for school as well as work, so whenever I work I'm only going to work the second shift four hours instead of a full 8 hour day. The only reason I feel bad though is because since there are only four cashiers, whenever I work a half day, there has to be a third person to cover the morning half of the shift, which inevitably makes me think that people aren't exactly going to like working many days in a row just to cover a shift that I don't feel like working. The head life guard said that it would be fine because people like getting hours and they'll probably enjoy having half days of work instead of full days. My reasoning though is that they'd probably enjoy having an entire day off which makes me work a whole shift rather than having to go to work practically every day. I guess it's not that big of a deal since they're actually letting me do it, otherwise I'm sure I wouldn't get the opportunity, but there's still that nagging feeling I have because I think too much. I should probably stop that habit too. Thus ends my rant, but who knows? There's always tomorrow. - chris
"This rant is long enough without a witty quote at the end." -- May 29th 2002- Hey! Its eric here. Am i really adding rants to the site regularly from now on!? possibly. I really dont know what to rant about though, but that is usually where my best rants come from. FROM MY SCROTUM!! No wait, i meant they come from that time when i dont know what to talk about. which is NOT my scrotum. Such an odd word. So what to talk about, i truly dont know. Everybody wants us to add more content to the website, but they dont tell us what that content should be!! SO we never know what to add. And i just found out im a freak! I can stand up and touch my toes really easily, and Chris said that not many people can do that, but i do it really easily! The secret is is that i really dont have a waist, its really just a big ball bearing like the old GI joe toys used to have. And im held together by a rubber band! Im stretchy. Actually, so stretchy that i can hold two poles and run backwards and make myself into a sling shot and shoot myself miles into the air. Thats how i get to work. Oh my god i just rememebred something that makes me want to vomit. Okay, everybody knows lil bow wow? You dont? LUCKY! But for those of you who do and who hate him and wish he would get eaten by a giant centipede will be disgusted to know that he has a movie coming out!! Who thought this up! Is he teaming up with Shaquile o'neil, who by the way did a horrible video with aaron carter and has tortured the souls of all those who remember his shaq movies, CD's and video games (WHAT THE FUCK IS SHAQ FU!?!?!) oh my god those were horrible times. You know what i think? I think Shaquile O neil mastermined the plot to attack the world trade center. Yea, i bet he did. Who in the world gave that man the idea that he could A: Sing and B: ACT!? Sorry im so worked up, i just dont like shaquile, or lil bow wow, or aaron carter. They repulse me. So does that guy from the Five For Fighting freak out anybody else? I mean this guy has a REALLY high voice. I just dont like any of their music, and plus i think im listening to the Vienna boys choir when i hear him on the radio, it just freaks me out. Okay what was i talking about before? I have no idea. I want to play grand theft auto 3 but chris' brother took the playstation 2 away! he took it work to play, which means that he must work at the most freakish place because i know i cant play video games at my work! thats not working!! Ah anyway, ill come up with more stuff to rant about later. "perhaps we would sound better if SOMEONE wasn't playing with BIG MEATY CLAWS!!!"
"what did you say!?"
"i said BIG MEATY CLAAAWWWSS!!!"
"yea buddy!? Weelll these claws arent just for attractin mates!!"
"oh yea old man!? well bring it ON!!!!!
"no people......lets bring it OFF"
-- May 24th 2002-Eric here, and i havnt added a damn thing to this site for a long time!! I feel so bad, and yet i shouldnt because nobody writes me!! And i have SO much to write about!! My trip to chicago, oh DAMN!! i forgot the other things i was going to rant about!! But maybe i can find somethings, because this will be a rather long rant i suppose, and in honor of going to go see Star Wars episode 2 tonight im going to do it in prequels and sequels and epilogues!! EPISODE ONE: The Phantom Leg!
Yea, phantom pains suck. Phantom paints suck too. Your trying to paint a picture and you cant because the paint is a phantom! The phantom of the opera!! Wait, i meant phantom of the paint brush. Anyway, i lost my leg in a boating accident and i replaced it with a really large paint brush, so now i can paint with my leg, which is actually a brush. Well anyway. Chicago is an awesome and beautiful place, it was cold and rainy and windy when i went, but i still loved it. Navy Pier and the city and the shore of lake michighan are beautiful, i loved the city at night. I gotta say, the shore is one of the greatest places i have ever been, thats probably because i havnt ever seen the ocean and that is the closest i have ever been to anything like the ocean. Okay but i dont really feel like writing right now, for some odd reason, Im not in that manic mood!! its not a manic monday!! Im not one of the Bangles!!! OH NO!!! Hey!! I remembered what i was going to rant about! YAY! Okay, well Chicago was awesome, definitly going back. AH the windy city, full of wind, and city, and when combined it is a windy city. But mainly its just windy on the shore front, i went on lake shore drive! Its pretty. But it was cold and at night the first time i saw it, it looked awesome though, kind of like the rain world of Kamino in the new star wars movie, which i saw and its awesome!! Really, its really really cool. I dug it, and its so much better than the phantom menace that we should just make episode 2 into episode one and just forget that episode one ever happened. There is alot of action and Yoda kicks ass too! he's like a cute little ninja baby kickin some ass. And lots of jedi's kicking ass, and Natalie Portman. Yea. And of course, the scenery and special effects are amazing. But almost too much so, you dont really believe that they are actually there because you know that they arent, i guess its because you know that he relies so much on special effects that you wonder if anything is an actual set. i remember a scene in which anakin and amidala are looking out over a lake and wondering, "i know thats not real" and they are standing next to a potted plant, and i thought "you know, i be that isnt real either." Anyway! So here is the snyopsis of the first prequel in this rant: Eric went to Chicago, had a good time and wants to back cause it was neat. Eric saw Star wars episode two and really dug it, and Eric might have lost a leg. Who knows.
EPISODE TWO: Bring me my scones!! I like music. I really do. I just got the two new Tom Waits CD's, "Blood Money" and "Alice", and they are AMAZING. gotta say it. They are incredible pieces of music. Alice is based on the wierd things about lewis Carrol, the guy who created Alice in Wonderland, and all of his wierdnes. I hear he was somewhat of a pervert and such, but others know more about that than i do. And Blood Money is based on the play Woyzeck, go look up more of that because i couldnt tell you much about it. But either way, if you know alot about these muses of inspiration for Mr. Waits then you'll love both cd's, and if you dont, you'll still love them because they really are great collections of music. Also, i like lyrics, and tom waits is good with lyrics, though nobody really rivals bob dylan when it comes to lyrics, but i was looking around and i found the lyrics to No Doubt's hit "hella good"!! Can you believe it!! If you cant ill write them out for you, along with the whole wierd music that they have in there. We used to be a ska band but now you could never tell
wakka wakka wow wow, wee ih wakka wow wow
We sold out our souls to get on T R elllll
wakka wakka wow wow wee ih wee ih wow wow wow
and were feelin hella good cause now were just like Britney!
wakka wakka wow wow
and yea, thats pretty much the entire song. I wonder how they can even play a concert because their new stuff is so different than their older stuff, it would be a very schizophrenic concert. I'll be back in a bit!! "its another manic monday...oooh aaah ooohhh
"its tuesday...actually.."
"OH DAMN!!"
-- May 23rd 2002 - Okay, now I'm pissed off. I had completely forgotten that I requested a transcript to be sent to the school I hope to go to next and it's probably already sent (I tried to call the transcript place and it's an automated "I can't help you" line) and that means the school I want to go to is getting a f-ked up copy of my records because I'm absolutely sure I didn't get an F in my Sociology class. I'd love to talk to my teacher but she's not responding to my email, she's not going to be at school until June 10th and the home phone doesn't have an answering machine! Geez, how lo-tech can you be?! Maybe I should just f-ing send 'smoke' signals to her or something, it'd get to her quicker. So yeah, there's absolutely no way I can resolve any of this any time soon, and that means it might hinder my ability to get financial aid, who knows really though because I don't work for either school so I don't have the information present to know these kinds of things. All I do know however is that I'm feeling pretty helpless in all of this since my school doesn't seem to want to help me fix this. Bastards. And they'll probably make me pay the 2 bucks to resend a revised transcript to my next college even though it's their fault for f-ing up my grades. sigh. - chris "Please press 1 if we're managing to upset you greatly. Please press 2 if you could stand for us to anger you a little bit more. If none of these choices were to your liking, please press the pound sign and we'll give you the exact same choices all over again." -- May 22nd 2002 - Chris's Birthday Continued .. Well, everyone and more actually did end up calling about a half an hour after I posted my rant so that's cool. It was kind of an okay birthday, definitely better than 'last' years birthday, but it was still kind of weird. First off, I don't make decisions very well, and I definitely don't like going to clubs or bars so that sort of leaves a very small amount of things to do at 10 pm. I end up going to Rachel's and since Toya had called me earlier to say happy birthday and that she was working at Nik's, (a wine bar), she couldn't hang out. Having Nik's brought into my mind, I figure that we'll all go to Nik's and I can get a free drink or something. Thankfully, I finally had my night planned and I was stoked. Oh, so I tell Rachel that I want to go to Starbucks to tell Liz and Kim our plans, plus it's just a place to go instead of sitting in her apartment until they get off work, and Rachel just gets this funny look on her face. What had happened was that Toya called Rachel and told her she was lying about working and she was really going to come over and surprise me, but since there was no way Rachel could give me a good reason to 'not' go to Starbucks she had to tell me the plan. Well Toya gets there and we call Liz and Kim and they tell us they'll be home at 9:30, to which they were wrong, and since Toya was hungry we just went to Nik's and told them to meet us there. With the combination of getting ready, putting on make-up and then sort of getting lost, Liz and Kim were almost two hours late getting there. By then I had already had two drinks, Toya and Rachel got their food and their drinks and I was buzzing (but could still drive). Everyone had fun because since I was drinking, I was a bit more "out there." I kind of feel bad, but it's not my fault that Kim and Liz decided to take so long with putting on make-up and such, because they only stayed for like half an hour or something. (note: girls, STOP TAKING SO LONG WITH MAKE-UP!! ESPECIALLY if you already have a significant other, you don't need to impress anyone!) They went back to their apartment and I told them we'd be there sooner or later. Well, Mike (who actually 'was' working at Nik's) had to help clean up so we waited around for that and then everyone else was tired so I took Rachel, Mike and Toya back to their apartment and I drove to Liz and Kim's to find them also really tired and saying they just wanted to go to sleep. I was fine with that because I actually was tired, mostly from being drunk, and my stomach hurt a little. So my birthday wasn't really great, but it was nice hanging out with everyone. You ask, "Where's Eric in all of this?", well so did everyone else. Eric decided that hanging out with his girlfriend Catherine was more important than hanging out with me and other friends on my birthday since he decided to visit me earlier before we all started hanging out. ;] Oh yeah, so then I drove home and went to sleep to which I'll preface that I 'am' a good driver, but I have odd ways of being "safe." I'm not saying this is a great way to drive, but hey, it works for me so far. So I'm really cautious of other drivers, and I don't particularly want to die because someone else is being drunk and crazy. Well on the onramp to another highway I saw these two cars who were kind of driving like assholes and I didn't want to drive near them so I did my normal routine: I drive infront of them and "pretend" that I'm a drunk driver and sort of swurve a little bit in and out of my lane. I find this to work perfectly because when I see other people doing this (who could be drunk or otherwise) I stay far the f-k away from them! I figure that even asshole drivers have something they don't want to mess with and that's drunk/reckless drivers. Well after swurving even only a little bit a couple of times, these cars slowed down a LOT and I had the highway all to myself and went back to being the responsible and safe driver I normally am without fear of these guys behind me. You probably ask "But what if they were normal drivers and you scared the crap out of them?" I doubt it, especially since after slowing down I could still see them in my rearview mirror and they were doing a game of "exchange lanes." And why am I completely scared and freaked out to see they're making a cartoon on (I believe) the WB version of Toonami, or maybe even the Cartoon Network one that's way better, that's all about hamsters!!? It looks like a very scary cartoon version of HamsterDance, but anyway, it's called Hamtaro and it's probably going to be the next big thing for kids since Britney Spears became a Pokemon, oh joy. Lastly since this was a big scare on my birthday, I looked at my grades online which were finally posted and it said I got an F in my Intro to Sociology class!! I almost had a heart attack because a) I needed to pass all my classes to graduate and b) my teacher had said I was definitely going to get a B or an A in the class. I hope to get it sorted out soon. - chris "I'm gay, drunk, and rambling!" -- May 21st 2002 - Ah, the first day of me being 22 and most of my friends have not called to say happy birthday and it's already 7 pm! Eric came over and wished me a happy birthday though, and do you know what he got me? The gift that keeps on giving: paranoia and FEAR! Eric swears that he's just trying to provide humor to people's lives and let them laugh at themselves because they're being stupid, but you know what? People don't like being made fun of, even if it's for humor, because they're psycho and crazy! We went to go get food and on the way back there was this guy in a mustang infront of us. He was gunning his engine in a stopped position, you know, like most guys who want to look cool do. This is where me and Eric are different. I either keep my opinion to myself and 'think' that the guy is stupid, or I'll say it rather quietly so that only the occupants of the car can hear. Nope, not Eric. ;] Eric shouts "It's red!", talking about the stop light, and the guy totally heard him and was hell bent on saving his pride by trying to kill us. Thankfully it was traffic time so we got away, but this guy was completely going to try and follow us all the way home but I swurved into a turn lane and thankfully went on my merry way. I seriously doubt that if he 'had' followed us home that he would be okay with Eric's explanation of "you're stupid, you're gunning your engine while you're stopped." I'm sure he would be psycho and crazy and try and do damage to us or at least our property (which would be MY property). Sure Eric probably could have taken him in a fight, but as I'm a pacifist and it's rare that other people are, it's probably likely that after getting pummeled he would resort to "revenge". Thus the vicious cycle of hatred and fear begins and all I wanted was a happy and fun birthday! Now, I'm not saying that 'I' don't do things like this. Just last year I COMPLETELY pissed this guy off by passing him on a residential road because he was going like 15 mph in a 25 mph zone and he followed and stalked us really angrily and screaming obsenities at us. But I was 'sorry' that I did that. Hell, I even got him a f-ing CARD (which still resides in my glove box because I couldn't find him ever again since I didn't know where he lived). It's actually a funny card, but I was still remorseful. Eric however is just okay with doing these things and feels justified in pissing off psychos. He said he was going to stop shouting things out of my car at crazy people, but we'll see how that goes. ;] Remember, Eric doesn't discriminate. He'll even piss of 12 yr olds who claim they have 7 bikes and that his bikes are cooler and faster than Rachel's cracked-out car. Maybe when you're straight and/or at least able to fight and protect yourself, you have an inner filter that causes you to be able to do these things without fear of repercussion, but I'm neither of those things so I will remain being a timmid forest creature. It's bad enough people would probably love to kill me just for BEING gay, I don't want to give them 'more' reasons to want to do me harm. - chris
"'I thought you didn't eat cake.'
-- May 17th 2002 - Styrofoam, it's not just for drinking out of anymore! First off, YAY I'm also out of school and HOPEFULLY (if I pass my stupid JavaScript class) I'll be getting my Associate in Arts degree! Wahoo! It'll be nice to have a piece of paper that says I enjoy sitting in loads of classes just to be judged on my performance and regurgitation of information. Oh, but anyway. I think that when I decide to write my thesis paper for my masters or doctorate degree (HA!) I'm going to have to do it on the possibility of eating (or chewing) on styrofoam to increase your intelligence. Yeah yeah, I know, laugh.. BUT BE WARNED! Okay, so in my JavaScript class the teacher is honestly smart, but he's not exactly quick. Whenever anyone would ask questions in class he would literally have minute filled pauses of silences between "um's". I don't think he does a good job of describing things, but anyhow. So that would lead me to believe he has some kind of lack in the mental ability. Well, NO MORE! The last three times we've met, he's been chewing on or eating this styrofoam cup he has with him and since then he's been really quick and intelligent and WAY over my head of understanding (you know, because I'm 'not' eating styrofoam). Normally this activity wouldn't have sparked an interest, but then I remembered back a couple semesters ago when I had Logic class. Logic was pretty difficult to learn because it's basically all formulas you have to memorize like A * B U C . D or something like that. It's not even math, it's just ways of how to prove your logic. So there was this guy in class who seemed pretty much to have a learning disability or some kind of handicap that made him none-too-bright and pretty slow in the thinking department. Well, one day he was eating some styrofoam (come on, all the kids are doing it!). After that very day he had improved in all abilities to think, answer questions, rationalize, and he was able to do the logic answers faster than EVERYONE in the class! Talk about wild! So maybe there 'is' some connection with intelligence and styrofoam. If anyone out there wants to test this theory out, go right ahead at your own risk and then contact me with your results. I'll be sure to include your name and stuff in my thesis paper for college. Heh, it'll be fun defending that disertation. - chris "The Cranberries cd No Need To Argue was the first cd I ever bought." -- May 16th-2002 Hey everybody! Its May 16th! And that means that i am out of school for the summer! And I'm Eric! In case you thought this was Chris. or Mr. Rogers. or Kenny Rogers! Wait a minute....does that mean that Kenny Rogers would in fact be MISTER Rogers!? Or are they related in some way, perhaps brothers, or father and son, though i dont know which would be which because they are both somewhat old. Not OLD, but up there in chronological age. Age is what you make of it, or at least thats what im telling myself because in two or so months im going to be 24!!! TWENTY FOUR!!! HEY WOW! I can be like that awesome fox show 24 now!! The season finale is next week by the way, and its the coolest show!! in case you missed last weeks episode, they revealed who the evil agent was, the mole inside working with the bad guys, and it was Nina!!! Jack Bauer's (the main guy) best friend and one time love!! I cant believe it!!! That bitch. A phone rang and one of the bad guys answered it and the other voice said "its Yelena" and it was Nina! Because they showed her talking and speaking russian, or serbian, because thats what the guys are, the bad guys. i dont know Russian or serbian, so thankfully they had subtitles. I do know how to say a few things in russian though, like "yes" and "vodka..yummy" But i couldnt hold a conversation unless someone asked me if i liked vodka, which i dont. And i wouldnt be able to tell if they were asking me that. Anyway. Vodka isnt great straight, but isnt there vodka in margaritas? i like margaritas, but i havnt had any for quite some time. The last time i drank i had about 3 margaritas and a giant long island ice tea. Not a good mixture. I passed out in my friends hallway, and then i found out that it wasnt even a hallway! it was a box outside her apartment and i fell into it and they taped it up and mailed me off to some other country. Good times. Ah, its fun not having to do anything. And i feel so GQ. I have on a light blue button down shirt, a kind of tan and sandy colored cargo pants, and my favorite sandals. i should be on a beach somewhere. Like the beach at lake michigan! its very beautiful up in chicago, i love the beach there, its really cold and wet and windy, but its okay, cause its worth it. I went up there to see the art chicago 2002 art expo, which was amazing. go to www.artchicago.com and check it out. I cant wait to go back up there and spend more time, i only spent a weekend. I'll have pictures up later so you can see them! if you want. and if you check the site, which you probably dont ever do!! We work SO hard! And you just throw it all away and never check the site. What!? Well im sorry i havnt added anything to the site since the 2nd of May! I've been BUSY! You ALWAYS do this! i cant go run a webpage and run an international conglomerate known as VECTOR and try and manipulate Chris to do my evil corporate schemes and clean the house all in one day! What do you think i am...a robot!? Oh wait...i am a robot. never mind. "My heart says "self discovery" but my brain is pure whore" -- May 10th 2002 - Almost done with finals! Eric's in Chicago right now for the weekend at some art thing, and I'm doing my take home JavaScript test that's due tomorrow! The describing part took me 2 hours and now I just have to demonstrate these things which is probably going to take way longer and drive me crazy. It doesn't help that I have a neck/head ache right now. FUN! - chris "I miss the old days of velcro shoes. I certainly don't need to prove to anyone that I know how to tie shoes anymore. I want some damn velcro!" -- May 6th 2002 - Sure I said I wasn't going to make many updates because of finals week, but I'm sort of angry right now so I felt I needed to rant. I'm not exactly angry angry, but I'm a little angry. The reason for that is the wonderful world of employment. I recently got a letter that I wasn't expecting from a company called Vector and it said "Summer Work Opportunities Enclosed." So I thought, COOL, I can get a job! Upon opening said letter it was almost too good to be true, but now on retrospective, I should learn to read letters more carefully. They said that I was referred to them by someone saying that I was interested in summer or seasonal work. Anyhow, so the thing that 'really' excited me about this job is that it said it pays $14.75 base-appointment. I've never heard of such a term so I just figured that meant $14.75/hour and that's more than I've EVER made in my life so I was really stoked. Well I decided to go on the internet and type in "vector.com" and I got a website talking about computers and they're an IT company. I was 'definitely' stoked after finding out it was a computer company because that's what I want to go into for my career. Anyhow, so I tell my brother about it and he says that it's a big scam and that I shouldn't even worry about it and continues to bash my hopes and dreams that this could be a real opportunity. The real kicker is that he was right and that just makes me mad. So yeah, I figure that the least I could do is call them and find out what's up with the job and I do. Go me for calling because I hate talking to professional-type people as they're so condescending. So the lady starts telling me all about their company which is really "Vector Marketing Corporation" and they sell housewares and sporting goods. I was kind of surprised by this fact but said I would schedule an interview anyhow (which is actually tonight at 8:00). Well, I look up the 'actual' company online and am severely disappointed. They basically are a company that sells kitchen knives. Not only that, but the $14.75 base-appointment thing means that I work at their office and schedule appointments with people who want to buy knives from me and I GO TO THEIR HOUSES and talk to them all about my wonderful knives. Do you know what that makes me? A knife salesman!! I don't want to do that. I don't even want to 'think' about doing that. So, as per my brother 'and' mother's advice, I'm not going to the interview at all. My mother suggested maybe I should call and cancel but my brother said they'd hassle me a whole lot. Either way, they were 'both' very insistant that I don't even try to take this job because it's horrible. Another thing they said was something like I have to 'buy' these people's knives first before I sell them so if I end up not selling 'any' knives, I'm stuck with this huge bill and a bunch of damned knives. Sad am I. Oh, and to top it off, I may have ruined our bathtub because I used this stuff called "Zap!" and I didn't exactly use it correctly the first two times and it sort of stained the bathtub with extremely white lines and dots. Now if I could get the entire bathtub to get that color then everything would be fine. But I don't know how I'm going to get that to work. Ah well. Off to do homework. I'm kind of bitter about school actually. Why would they have it so you have so many tests and finals all around the same time? What if you're a mother with kids and a full time job? You don't have time to study for 4 tests and 4 finals (say if you're taking four classes). They should space that crap out or at least not have a last test before the final! That's too much studying. Just have one final that emcompasses the material you would have on the last test so you don't have to study 8 different things! K, I'm done now, bye. - chris "I'd just like to say congratulations on receiving our letter." -- May 4th 2002 - AHHH!!!! It's almost Sunday! You know what that means don't you?!? That it's almost Monday!! And you know what that means don't you!?! It's finals time!! Okay. That is all. - chris "I learned it from watching you! - that really old drugs/alcohol commercial" -- May 2nd 2002- Eric here. My girlfriend signed the Guest book!!! She did! And she checked the website! And she's not taking my call's anymore. I called and her mom was like "what? no...our daughter Catherine died five years ago....you've been dating a ghost!!" But i knew it wasnt so because i heard Catherine yell out "HE'S CRAZY!!" Okay, none of that really happened. Yet. But we aren't crazy, our compass doesn't even point to crazy! It points to weest!! and then Mr. Krabs from spongebob will say "what kinda compass are you readin boy!?" Ah Mr. Krabs. He's a good leader. Anyway, what to talk about. I cant talk about too much because im in painting class, technically. Chris was talking in the other rant about how cool it would be to have a prehinsile tail, that would be pretty good, not as good as wings, but you know. I'm talking about the sitcom Wings mind you. If a genie came to me and said "You must choose, for eternity you shall either watch Wings non-stop, or you shall have a prehinsile tail like a cute little monkey" I gotta say, i'd be tempted to go with the Wings thing. well maybe not. Tails are pretty neat, id be like a mon chi chi. God i love mon chi chi's. If the world was full of mon chi chis, living with us in harmony, it would be wonderful. They are so cute and monkey like, but with human baby faces. Ninja mon chi chis would be even better. And they could protect my home or be my body gaurds, and naturally there would be one who would freak out any time something bad was going down. He'd cower in the corner screaming "were gonna die man! Game over man, GAME OVER!!" and then another, stronger mon chi chi would slap him and scream "GET YOUR SELF TOGETHER MAN! Eric needs us!! NOW more than ever!! Are you going to let Eric down!? Because im SURE AS HELL NOT!!!" and the other one would keep cowering and saying "i dont know man, game over man, game over!! I want to help....but what good would i do?" And then I'd come over, in a very special episode of Blossom, and kneel down and look him in the eye and say "you know...that girl..she had a really big nose" and then he would be like "I can do it man....GAME ON!!!" -- May 2nd 2002 - I rarely look at the guestbook because, gee, hardly anyone looks at our site, but DAMN if there isn't the funniest entry in there! For those people (all 2 of you) who check our site and don't look at the guestbook entries and/or don't even write in our guestbook (for SHAME!) I'm taking it upon myself to transpose it into the rant I am currently writing, to which I am typing this very second, in order to fill the internet with nothing but rants because I feel that yeti's named Hulga make the world go round.
If that's your real name!: Satan
Man, that's some funny stuff. I hadn't even realized that Eric sold my soul to the devil. Except when Eric told me that he sold my soul to the devil that one time, but I didn't believe him of course. You think he could have at least gotten something cool in the trade! Like maybe even a super power or whathaveyou. I personally think it would be awesome to have a prehensile tail or the ability to breathe (and still live) while in water. Come on, how cool would a prehensile tail be?!? I could drive my car with it, or do other things like homework.. it would be great! Granted people might look at me a little weird, but while they're making ugly faces, I could simply flick them off WITH MY TAIL! I guess being able to control motion (not time per say because it's a man made thing and doesn't actually exist) would also be an awesome super power, but in the back of my mind I'd probably still be wishing I could hang upside down from a tree like a possum. Oh yeah, my day. Well, in Sociology we watched a movie all about suicide. What did I learn? That according to this movie [I'm NOT by the way!] I supposedly have "warning signs" of being suicidal [NOPE! Still not!]. It's hilarious that one of the signs is denial. That was a joke btw. I'm just in a morbid sort of mood after being almost told I'm suicidal when I'm most certainly not. BUT since suicide IS no laughing matter, just as a precaution, if you think you may be suicidal OR just having problems, and if you live in the St. Louis Area and want to talk to someone, the 24 hour suicide hotline is 647-HELP. It's for Life Crisis Services evidently. Want to know how I knew that?? Just go here! suicidehotlines.com It tells you practically every suicide hotline there is for all states. Remember, suicide is a permanent happening (not a solution), to a temporary problem. Things can and will get better. - chris
"The 'only' downside to having a prehensile tail is finding good pants and underwear that accommodate for such an extremity."
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May 1st 2002 - My turn! Oh, btw Eric, my Spanish is kind of rusty but I believe you said something to the equivalent of "Go with God." Where normally that would be okay, but you're an atheist! HAHAHAHA.. Oh all right, you're not an atheist. Well, I only have two more weeks of school and then I may or may not get a summer job where my brother works AGAIN. This time would be at the pool though and I'm not sure I'll like those hours, nor the fact that it's entirely way too hot in the summer to be working for hours on end outside. Speaking of hot. Have I mentioned that I absolutely hate the fact that I'm freakishly weird and people can't tell me what's wrong with me?! Ah good, I thought I had forgotten. Well, this installment is about the fact that I'm allergic to MYSELF! Impossible you say?? I'm the epitomy of things that are impossible being possible.. or, something like that! Nah really. The other day I was walking my normal 2 miles with my mom outside and probably 10 minutes into the first mile I get this incredible pain all over my body. Basically the closest I can describe is that it felt like a lot of needles sticking my body all over the place, which would then preceed to get red and itchy (just like an allergy). So yeah, it sucked a lot. The pain progressively went away after the initial "grace" period and into the second mile, but I was still red and itchy. So I figure that since I'm allergic to everything under the sun I was probably just prone to the allergins that are abound in the outside world. UNTIL TODAY! Whereas I still may be allergic to everything, I decided that since it was all rainy that I would walk my 2 miles on the treadmill that my mom's sister sort of gave us because she couldn't fit it in her place anymore. So I'm happily walking and again after like 10 minutes, BOOM!, pain time! Same experience as before. But this time I was inside so I have my doubts that pollens are just kind of breeding in my house and wreaking havoc on my body. This would have me conclude that there's something wrong with me, and/or I may be allergic to myself in some sweat related way or otherwise. I personally don't feel as if I was sweating so maybe all my veins just kind of explode when they're being worked out at all and that's what those needle feelings are. I'm not a doctor though so who knows. The sucky thing (I guess I should say the "other" sucky thing) is that no one knows who the hell I should go to in order to get myself checked out and figure out what the heck is wrong with me or at least why it's happening. Geez, they certainly broke the mold when they made me didn't they? Oh yeah, I at least finished my super long autobiography for sociology, yay! - chris
"I'm walking on sunshine, woooaaa... No no no, wait, if sunshine is light and it travels really really fast, there's no way I could walk on it as the friction caused would probably melt my feet clean off!"
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May 1st-2002- Eric here, and its MAY!! YAY! Oh wait thats just Mae West. PUT YOUR CLOTHES BACK ON MAE!! Aw that Aunt Mae, wait..isnt that the lady from Spiderman? Oh my god!! Spiderman's Aunt Mae (or May) is really MAE WEST!!?!? Who is actually Adam West!? And He is bent on the destruction of Spiderman, because he doesn't want people to like spiders more than bats!! For shame Mr. West, FOR SHAME. Wow ive used more capital letters in this small paragraph than i have in months. I have also been in a kentucky prison for the last few months, or weeks, im not sure. It's been awhile since ive added anything to the website. And now its May. And its raining here again, like that Annie Lennox song. How did that go? Heeere comes the rain again, whooaoh woah oh oh, watch out boy she'll chew you up, whoah oh oh woah oh, watch out boy she's a man EATAH! It rained alot during April, and you know that old saying, "april showers brings bricks through your window." Or maybe that was a threat. Either way, it got the message across! Wow, i had so much to rant about and yet i cant think of what it was i was going to say. Well, im at the library at school and i just went and looked at a magazine, and there is this guy sitting there reading and he sounds like Darth Vader!! I swear, i thought i was going to have to whip out some kind of light saber and fight this guy off, lest he reveal to me that he is my father. I cant wait for the new star wars movie comes out, it looks very good and tons better than the first one. And Natalie Portman is hot. Thats a big reason of why i want to see this movie. That and it looks cool. The basic guy answer as to why he wants to see a movie. Because it looks cool, and the girl in it is hot. Unless of course we are talking about a movie where the main character is played by Bea Arthur. If someone says that looks cool, and she is hot, then there might be a problem. WITH YOU! Because you didn't say it first. Man, Bea Arthur. Rwrarrr. Curses, i cant think of anything that i was going to rant about for the longest time. And i had quite a few things. I'm going up to Chicago on the 10th, to see one of my best friends and to go to the Navy Pier Art Expo. It's gonna be tons of fun and excitement, and hopefully car chases. I wish it were sunny and hot so that i could work on my artwork outside. Im making these great little things out of latex house paint and brown india ink, very pretty and when the sun beats down on them and heats them up while they are drying they look pretty neat. Well this one did anyway. But like i said, its raining, and i cant think of anything to write about so ill take off. Via con dios everybody! I dont know what i just said!
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