March 29th (i believe) 2003- I know its 2003, but im not as sure whether or not its actually march 29th! Because some crazy hobo came running up to me today telling me it was june 18th, and i have a habit of believing crazy hobo people, so who knows what day it is. But i got my pictures back from san francisco! Oh this is Eric by the way. Chris went to san francisco too, but believes cameras are the hands of the devil, and doesn't use them. I do though! and i just dropped off the remaining several rolls to get developed. I didnt get them all done at once because that would make me a po man. But they are awesome!! I love my pictures! and i love matte finishing. I might go back and tell them to get the other ones done in matte too, because i think the lady might have put them in for glossy. Stupid whore!! Okay i didnt mean that, she's really very nice. Most of the pictures i got today were of bits of the city and friends, so they are funny and fun to see, so you gotta love em. I'll put the good ones up on the website, and my camera takes GREAT pictures! I mean fantabulous pictures. Or i do. But the colors and such, very good. So hopefully the other ones will get back just as soon. I like em! So ill try and put them up soon, along with pictures of newer art work, but i have to get the time to make slides of those, and i think at school i can load slides up onto the computer or a disk and just put them on the website, hot jiggly! Well, i dont think i really have anything to rant about at the moment, the new white stripes album comes out tuesday, go get it!! and go to rollingstone.com to read a review of it, if you would like. The album is amazing!!

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March 27th 2003 - Ever have the feeling that someone is using voodoo or other kinds of spiritual functions on you? Because lately, I know you'll probably think this is stupid OR even beneficial, I keep waking up at 8 in the morning. Every day! Regardless of what time I go to sleep. I go to sleep at midnight, I wake up at 8. I go to sleep at 9 pm the previous day, I wake up at 8. I go to sleep at 4 in the MORNING, and I wake up at 8. I mean, what the f-k!?!? I only find this strange and annoying because I hate waking up at morning-time and because I used to be able to sleep 10, 11 hours, and it was awesome! Now SOMETHING is stopping me from obtaining that and I'm none too happy. You could be asking "why do you hate waking up in the morning-time?" .. or you couldn't, but I'm gonna tell you anyway! The morning-time, more accurately that period of time where the sun is going to rise until about 10:30 or so, the world seems very ugly to me because it's all pastel colored. I 'really' hate pastels. A pastel killed my dog once. So everything in the world is just dull and greyish and not at all vibrant like it is when it's around noon and after. Needless to say, I'd like it to stop so I could get back to my own slacker schedule. Next on the agenda is, am I actually able to make events happen just by hypothetically speaking about them?? Eric also shares this problem, and we both seem to only have it happen in the negative spectrum. I couldn't just say, "Ooo, you know? I haven't won THE LOTTERY in a while... maybe it finally knows that I don't want to win it.", and then all of a sudden the lottery calls me up for a twenty minute conversation where I'm acting all nice because I'm not a mean person and then I say I have to go, to which the lottery says that I should call it sometime because it's been so long... blah blah blah. Yeah, that doesn't happen. But someone who I actually haven't spoken to in years called again just a DAY after I said a similar sentence to Eric, but replace THE LOTTERY with the name, and I guess replace won and win with speaking terms. Is the world so cosmically intertwined that such things can actually happen?? It can't just be coincidence that you happen to wonder about someone calling you whom you haven't spoken to in two years, and then the very next day have it happen! It's bad mojo I say! Where has all the goooood mojo goooooonneeee? Yippie yo yippie yay. K, that was my stupid rendition of that cowboy gone song by, uh... I don't remember. The other crappy thing that I just found out is that when you spill soda on audio cassette tapes, they tend to become unplayable because the gears won't spin anymore due to stickiness. AND THAT SUCKS!! I had some really good tapes too. Yeah, well that's all for my kevetching. Time to watch Firewalker, who incidently has Charles Norris in it who WAS Walker Texas Ranger, who incidently was in Where's my walker?!, who ALSO starred in The Running Man. - chris

"When in doubt, just crap your pants. - Bill"

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March 25th 2003- Well don't i feel un-ambitious. And this coming from a guy who just saturday spent almost twelve hours straight in the art studio at school, working like a mad man, making some really cool things! Oh this is Eric by the way. So i was in the studio saturday from about 1 to 11, or about 12:30 till 11, sometime around then. But today i just dont feel like working. Well, let me rephrase that. At the moment, there isnt any place for me to work really, because all the classrooms at school are occupied, and then things i could work on, i really dont feel like doing, because it might be awhile before i can really start working on them. So i tend to like to do things in one fell swoop. And i REALLY need to clean up my room, and the things that i would want to work on would take awhile. And i just dont feel like being in the dark room waiting around. And Chris isn't home. I could go see the new movie with Audrey Tautou (the girl who played Amelie) because she's so pretty!! And i heard the movie is good. But mostly because she is so pretty. And its rainy and generally funkadocious here, so im not sure what to do. I wish Chris were home, its fun when Chris is home. Sometimes we play chess, or scrabble, or sometimes he watches TV or plays video games and i do whatever on the computer. Ususally hacking into government files and blaming it all on Chris. Ah, good times. Hey look! Its that janitor from my old high school that looks like charles manson! I mean he looks like Charles Manson, not my old high school. My old high school looked like Ghandi actually. Funny thing about that. People would ask me where i went to high school, and i would tell them, and then they would get really quiet, which always garnered the response from me of "what?" and they would whisper "you mean....the school that looks like.....Ghandi?" and i would reply, "yes, yes it does look like Ghandi." You see, us here in the fine city state of St. Louis MO, have a different view of Ghandi. We sacrifice children to him at our Ghandi temple, which just happens to be a very large high school as well. Its a domed building, since Ghandi was a domed guy, with a big oculus at the top to let light in. The only other windows came from his eyes and glasses. The door way was his mouth, stretched open into a gigantic maw of razor sharp teeth and killer mountain goats that lept from crag to crevice. Ghandi apparently did not take good care of his skin. So thats what my high school looked like, in case you were wondering. And i can read minds, so i know you were. Oh wait, i cant read minds, because if i did i would know why nobody writes me and whether or not i could get a date with this girl who works at a local food establishment, the name of which i will not name, because we here at www.geocities.com/chrisericus/indexmain.html are sponsored by a different food establishment. I cant name that one either, because we are also SECRETLY sponsored by yet ANOTHER food establishment, this one being KFC. Our relationship with the Kenny Rogers' Roasters soured about a year ago, and naturally, to spite Kenny, we turned to KFC. Did you know that Kenny Rogers' Roasters are big in Malaysia? I did. Thats how i could tell you. OH MY GOD! I found the official Kenny Rogers' Roasters website!! AT least i think i did. It has a giant burning chicken and the name Kenny Rogers on the main page. Thats what we need on our main page. Damn. There isnt a Kenny Rogers Roasters anywhere near me. Except in Michighan! Right near where Ox Bow is i think. But should i go there? If you want to know about our tif with Kenny, you can check out the FAQ's, i dont know what number it is exactly, but just type in control F and then Kenny Rogers, and you'll see. ooooh, a menu. Lets see what ol Kenny Boy has for us for dinner. Apparently its the wood that makes it good, as opposed to the ingredients. Unless wood is a major ingredient in his chicken. WOW!! There's a lot of chicken on this menu!! Its like he's some kind of chicken freak-a-holic! Wow. Oh...wait. Okay. Oooooh, i have an evil grin on my face my friends >=) Kind of like that, but my eye's arent slits. They are glowing embers of mischief! I found a way to contact them! Should we bring up the ways in which Kenny has wronged us? How i believe that Kenny caused my good friend Chris to develop a horrible gambling addiction. (did i mention the girl at the local food establishment? cause she's really pretty.) And why must super pretty girls work at food places? Because to see them, or try and talk to them, you have to go there alot, and if you go there alot, you end up eating alot, and if you eat alot, you end up BEING alot. You's a big guy then. But this is one of those "healthy" places, so who knows. I dont know what i want to do! Today i meant. Not about eating or anything like that. I guess i could go up and get some more kickin organizer bucket thingamagigs, i found some great ones that stack and such, my room/studio/trash heap is going to be clean! And perhaps stay clean for more than three consecutive minutes. I think gremlins live in my room. Or maybe its the gnomes that i have, they come alive and destroy my room. i bet thats what they do. And i try and stop them they bite holes in the bottoms of my shoes, so i step in their pee when i wake up. Why do i wear shoes to bed? Because they pee on my floor when im asleep. And they pee thumb tacks. They're horrible little creatures, but cute as a button, and thats why i keep them. But one of these days, as Chris' crazy father once muttered to me!! I dont think it was directed at me of course, but maybe it was. Its hard to tell with crazy people, as ive always been told by people when they are talking about me. I'm bored and have nothing to do so this might be a great really long rant! Or it might not. But who knows! Ive often surprised myself, usually at night when im all alone and i pass by a mirror. That freaks me out. Now, granted, im listening to something on the computer here at the library, so i have the head phones on, but i think i just heard the guy next to me tell some guy on his phone that he is looking for some twelve year olds. But now he is talking about golf clubs, so maybe i just misheard him. Or maybe he's a pervert! Some kind of golfing pervert. Ive seen the kinds of books Tiger Woods hides under neath his bed. Not that i'm really all that familiar with his bed, i just broke into his house to try and find out if he were really a tiger. And i proved it my throwing water on him, which got him pist off. But he dried off and came after me. Damn you Woods!! he's always one step ahead of me. But not when i cut off his legs. How are you going to play golf without any legs Tiger!? I wonder if him and Tony the Tiger know each other. And i wonder if he knows Beyonce. I know Beyonce. Well, i knew Beyonce. She told me to stop breaking into her house to see if she were truly bootilicious. I found out if she really was though. And me tell you, she IS. So apparently, curiosity about such things is a crime! Well lock me up for being curious! They were about to, before i convinced them it was Chris. Thats why Chris isn't home. He's in jail I thought about sending him some cookies, or maybe a cup cake with a shot gun in it (it would be a big cupcake) but i dont know how to bake pastries with weapons in them, so its best to let him wait out the 10 to 15 and see him when he gets out. The time away will be good for him. Time to yourself is always important, thats what i say. Ah well. Maybe i'll go by his house and see if he's been paroled.

"that girl's got a one track mind, and its all crotch"

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March 24th 2003- Dear March 24th rant: I locked my keys in my car today, then resorted to violence. Had a diet coke. And resorted to even more violence.

Eric

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March 23rd 2003- The website is TWO years old now!! WOW!! in another 14 years it will finally be out of diapers!! But i will be IN diapers, so thats not that great of a trade off. Hey everybody!! Nobody writes me! But someone wrote the website, so kudos and thanks to NAME AND ADDRESS WITHHELD!!! So now to rant! Well, there is so much to rant about and lets see if i can condense it all into a fine powdery substance suitable for canning and then adding water and VOILA! You've got yourself a fine bowl of the march 23rd rant!!! Well, my trip to San Francisco was the most amazing experience of my life, in every sense of the word, it was incredible. I had so much fun, and i got to see everything i had ever wanted to see. I got to see the ocean!! I didnt get to play in it though, so that was sad. But everything was beautiful, the entire city. Whoever lives in san francisco, you are extremely lucky. I could rant for ages on everything, on all my memories of the trip, but that might be boring to all of you two people who are reading this, so ill just stick to the major points. The city, and surrounding everything is beautiful. Alcatraz is actually pretty cool, with a great view of the bay and city. Twin peaks is gorgeous, because you have a gigantic panoramic view of the city and suburbs and everything surrounding it, and then behind you is the ocean, which is mind blowing. One morning i went out walking, long before anybody woke up (oh! And the hotel we stayed at was the Golden Gate Hotel, run by the nicest people i have ever met. No exaggeration there, they are the greatest, kindest people. And they have a golden Retriever named Humphrey!! I love him, he's really really really cool and cute and great. Love that dog) But i went out walking and the sun was coming up, and palm trees and hills off in the distance, cars and trollys and buses, more people than i have ever seen, and the entire city was covered in gold leaf from the sun. Just beautiful. I went to fisherman's wharf, ate crab with friends (it was with the fine arts club and photo club from school, and i know and am friends with almost every one, and the people who i just kind of knew, im friends with now.) I went on a tour with some friends and saw all of the city, it was great. I just had the most amazing time of my life, and i was going non stop. Everybody was talking about how much energy i had, because i didnt stop, while everybody else was tired, i was ready to go. I even caught up with a trolly! Me and two friends were heading down the the wharf to get something to eat when i saw a bunch of other friends on the trolly going back, i hadnt seen them all day so i just took off, chasing the trolly down the street, and i caught up with it! It doesnt go that fast, but it was going up some hills too. I also got to go to the museum of modern art, and saw Robert Rauschenberg's works for the first time!! In person i mean. I almost cried when i saw the first one. I asked a gallery aide if they had any, and she looked around and led me into another room, and then went back into the room we were just in, and it was right there! it was right behind me! I really almost started to tear up. I love his work, he is by FAR my favorite artist, and seeing his work in person is like a personal revelation. A few floors up they had even more works, an entire room devoted to him, and several of his more famous pieces, such as the automobile tire print he did with john cage, the erased willem de kooning drawing, and several of his very early works. Plus the 97 piece Hiccups series. Everything was breathtaking. I even got to see Eva Hesse's work! She made beautiful work, but died early from a brain tumor. She worked with resin and fiberglass, among all kinds of other things, and her works are not shown much because of the fragility of her work, but they had a few pieces. They also had some of her prints, (printmaking) and i asked the gallery owner (this wasn't at the MOMA) how much her work usually went for, and he said that her prints and paintings were a bit more affordable at 80 to a hundred thousand (!!!!!!) and her sculptural works are only sold to institutions, and those are quite expensive anyway. And ive made so much art since ive gotten back!! Lots of pieces. So it was amazing, and i was on a HUGE high the entire time, and then i got back, and my car was stolen. I went to work the day after i got back, and it was stolen right out of the parking lot. I got it back, thankfully. But i went completely nuts, i put quite a few dents in the dumpster, broke whatever i could, punched the wall quite a few times ( a stupid thing to do in hindsight, seeing as how im an artist and use my hands) and kicked the dumpster about fifty times (stupid also, as i was wearing sandals) but the people who stole it were complete idiots. They (two of them) came into my work to put in applications, one of them left the application at work, and the other one left his in my car!!! So, Torrell Morris, and Andre Lamont King, YOU ARE BOTH IDIOTS!! And they cant sue me for slandering, because they stole my car!! And hopefully they are both in jail. I gave their names to the police, and my car was okay, they stole my pirate guy on the dashboard, my spongebob key chain that was hanging from the rear view mirror, and my game boy advance, and totally jacked up the steering column. It cost me 200 to replace the column, and then 170 to get it out of towning. But otherwise, everything is good. Things are great, and its gorgeous here. OH! And golden gate park is the most beautiful place in the world!! Its amazing there. So that has been my past few weeks or days, or whatever. Good times, GOOD TIMES!!

Here's a great quote from my friend Tim, at dinner when we were all out on the wharf: "Okay, maybe i should wait until we're done eating to tell you this, but....and i would never harm any of god's creatures...but you know those propane torches.."

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March 22nd 2003 - Dear Website, today I learned that you can't debate the war with people at length if you don't really care enough to watch the news and know the updates and the facts. Just having an opinion isn't enough evidently. Okay, so I didn't really learn that today, but I guess it's a valid point nonetheless. BUT lets talk about something completely different. Lets talk about how much I HATE MY COLLEGE!!!!!! Okay, so you know (if you've actually been reading our rants) that I've been skipping a lot this semester. First it started out because it was all wintery and cold and I just don't want to go to school in that crap. Then it just kind of became a habit and I just didn't feel like going because I liked sleep far too much. It was actually awesome and I felt like I could just keep doing it, but inadvertantly still manage to get reasonable grades. Well, yeah, what a dumb idea. Not disputing that at all. BUT here's where the my college SUCKS part comes in. So I figure that since I'm doing so horribly in at least two of the three classes I have left, I'd just simply withdrawl from them and take them over at a later date when I feel like giving it my all. So I go to the website and see to my chagrin that my college is the F-ING DEVIL!! Practically every single college I've ever seen or known about lets you withdrawl from classes pretty late into the semester and not receive a grade. Does my college do this?? NO. Classes started around January 14th or something and the last day to withdrawl from classes without getting a grade was February 10th. I hadn't even gotten back my first tests in ANYTHING to even KNOW how well I was doing in the class to decide whether or not I want to withdrawl or not. I could completely think that I know what I'm doing and then take the test and then realize I'm sorely mistaken. Well, it doesn't just end there. So I missed the deadline for withdrawling without a grade. They DO however let you withdrawl up until April 5th with the small and innocent condition that you receive an F for that class!! WHAT THE F-K!!!!!?! I withdrawl from the class and regardless of what grade I have I get an F?! FUCK THAT!! Yes, I'm pissed to the point of non-editing my horrible verbage. I mean, what's the point of withdrawling and getting an F, or staying IN the class and still possibly getting an F?! I really don't see what the hell the college has to gain by giving people F's just for withdrawling. Not to mention that I'm paying (or will be paying the government) a LOT of money to the college and I think I should be able to have it so my GPA doesn't go to crap and back. Oh geez, and now that I think about it, BECAUSE of me getting two F's, I don't even think I'll be allowed to go back to the college next semester BECAUSE they require you to keep at least a certain GPA!! GEEZ!!!! I'm REALLY going to go kill some baby elephants or something to work off this stress and anger. :[ All I ever wanted to do was get my degree and a prehensile tail. Now I'll never be able to do either. - chris

"What an ingenius plan! Using a anti-war protest as a cover for looting socks!!"

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March 20th 2003- Showdown with the March Rants!! Countdown to a new rant in 5....4....3...2..ah what the hell! Lets just start bombing..i mean ranting! YAY! Well, im probably not going to rant about the war with iraq, other than im really sick of the media and government. Showdown with Saddam!! Countdown to Iraq! Countdown to War! Showdown with War! Showdown with Rue Maclanahan! You've got to love the names. OOh, and the operation is called, get this "Operation Iraqi Freedom"!! Like the government cares ANYTHING about the Iraqi people. Its already cliche but its ALL about oil, because if it werent, then we would have been doing the same thing to North Korea, but since they dont have anything we want, we dont care. But anyway! Later i will rant about my AMAZING trip to San Francisco, and then how, when i got back and went to work the next day, my car was stolen right out of the parking lot of my work! Good times, GOOD TIMES!!

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March 17th 2003 - Who's out of breath and possibly going to be sore tomorrow? Chris is. I like to think of myself a pacifist and to this day I've never even been in any kind of fight, play fighting or otherwise. I'm just not about violence, plus the only guy friend I have is Eric so I'm not going to fight 'him'. I can't exactly hit my girl friends, that's not cool either. Well, tonight while we were cleaning up at work I told my manager with three testicles ( ;] ) that I wasn't going to be mean to him anymore, because we've been throwing insults at each other a lot and it was fun. Well he said "uh, okay, because I don't even care and it doesn't effect me?" So to that I took my previous sentence back and told him that if he hadn't thought about it yet, a couple of things he could be for Halloween were Santa Claus, Pavaroti, or Chris Farley, and he asked me why; to which I responded "because you're fat." THAT struck a nerve I guess because he chased me around the entire rink a couple of times and finally got me cornered in the rink because I had to hop over a door whereas he just 'moved' the door. Smart thinking 'me'. ;P So he kind of started wrestling with me and he's a really big guy and I'm, well, not.. so it wasn't much of a fair fight. So I evened it up a bit by snagging a hold of his juggular. ;] Then he grabbed ahold of my arms so the only things I had left were my feet and legs. So, being on the rink ground (which was nasty btw because we hadn't cleared the base ice off of that side) I decided to shove my foot into his groin and just kind of hold it there pushing for a while. The last time I was kicked in the groin was in grade school and I remember it hurting a WHOLE f-ing lot. So to stop that, he stole my shoe and I just kind of walked after him with one shoe and one sock which was quickly sopping up all the base-ice and water and nastiness. Then he kept threatening to drop my shoe into a trash can filled with the base-ice (which looked like grey vomit and cement). Thankfully he didn't, but he threw my shoe out onto the rink, so I took off my sock and put it on my hand like a glove and scooped up a whole lot of base ice and limped after him. I 'was' after all barefoot and walking on concrete and rocks so it kind of hurt! But this other guy from work decided to help me out so he grabbed my manager and kept it so he couldn't go anywhere and I threw the base ice at him. Sadly though, I didn't have a weapon after that so he tackled me, grabbed my leg and kind of made me hop around on my barefoot foot scratching it ALL to hell on rocks and stuff, then he rammed me into the rot iron fence we have which sort of hurt my back. Basically the only thing I could do was grab onto his shirt and yank, which actually did tear his shirt, and then he let go and so did I. You'd think we'd walk back like civilized people after that, but no. I had to keep agging him on and he threw my sock into the large trash can full of base ice. Then I was without my sock completely. He did eventually return my shoe, which I immediately put on and went to sit next to my co-workers. So with all the people who were helping us outside on the bleachers, I said "So how's your third testicle, since I kicked you there and all?" Figuring that if everyone didn't know about his third testicle, they sure did now. He sort of made this face and then grabbed a shovel, filled it with base ice and started towards me. I couldn't really run away this time, so I hopped the 8 foot rot iron fence and we just kind of stared each other down, with me intermitantly running away because he'd get this look on his face like he was going to attack me again. Finally he started the power washer and we all went back to work, not without him soaking my shoes with the power washer though. I do feel sort of bad about the whole thing, because maybe I went too far, but I think he can take it. Damn my conscience!! I am going to be sore tomorrow because of him however. I still can't believe I even 'tried' to wrestle/fight him! In my mind I HAD to know that there was no way I'd win in a fight between him and I. I'm puny, respectively, and he's a big guy. Now in his defense, I actually don't think he's that fat, and he's probably damned muscular, but his doctor did tell him he needed to go on a diet or he'll die before he's 30. Ah well, either way, I'm dirty right now so I'm gonna go get cleaned up. I just wish I didn't have this nagging desire to appoligize profusely to my manager. I mean, he wrestled with his girlfriend's brother too and he didn't say sorry. I'm just not used to fighting in any manner, and I have this inherant need to make things right again even if they're possibly already cool. Stupid brain. - chris

"You owe me a pair of socks!"

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March 12th 2003 - Drinking is bad. Not so in moderation, but what I did last night was 'not' moderation. I was WASTED! I drank half a bottle of vodka in about maybe two hours or less. Liz and Kim were having a party at their apartment because even though they've had the apartment for about a year now, this was their first official "party" party they've ever had. I have to say that it was pretty bizarre but still damned fun, mainly because everyone was drunk and some crazy shit happened. So Kim and a couple of other people were going to go to get some fast food because they were hungry but they got sidetracked and didn't go. The next thing we know we get a phone call from Kim's ex-girlfriend accusing her of smashing a beer bottle into the car of some girl they both know. Kim, however, did not do said thing and was pretty pissed at the whole idea and said some really nasty things to her ex-girlfriend who had it coming. The other crazy things that happened was me almost dying about seven times. First off it was raining, but enough that the roads shouldn't have been slick anymore, but EVERY time my new car was driving over a bridge-like place or a place where there was a ravine next to the highway, my car kept wanting to drive into/over it. It seriously was PULLING me in that direction and I had to compensate something fierce. Next my car almost spun around on two different occasions. The first time was tame and it was while I was heading to Liz and Kim's. The second time was when I was plastered, but enough sober to drive and it wasn't raining anymore so I was driving home. Evidently the roads become slick again after it stops raining if the roads are still sort of damp. So my car fishtailed BIG time to the right which made me turn left, which in turn caused me to fishtail AGAIN to the left and then I turned right and stopped the car only to right myself and get the hell outta there because there were cars coming right at me. Oddly enough, this particular story actually happened to Eric as well one time, but without the drinking and it wasn't raining. So yeah, after I get home at three in the morning, I go to sleep and wake up at 8:30 knowing that I have a test in my accounting class in about two hours which I haven't studied for at all. But do you know what happens when you drink a whole lot and then go to sleep? You wake up with a hangover and not only that, but I was also still feeling drunk which sucked. So I felt completely gross and dehydrated and pukey (though I didn't) and I tried to short-term memory all the accounting information that I could shove into my brain as possible. Continuing the horrible trend of my day, I guess it's not good to be hungover, dehydrated, tired, and really hungry before and during taking a test because my body was completely flipping out. It was almost like having another panic attack which sucked. Thankfully it subsided, but then my eyes couldn't even focus or read the questions on the test which kind of creeped me out. That too went away with some calm breathing and closing of the eyes and I quickly took my test as fast as possible doing "eeny meeny miney moe" on the multiple choice because I had NO f-ing clue what I was doing. In my hour of cram-studying I also took some practice test problems and got them all wrong. Hopefully (if there are miracles of chance) I'll do a lot better than the 39% I got on the first test. Otherwise I'll have to drop that class (along with this other class I'm not going to). So, that'll actually be me spending 3000 dollars this semester for ONE MATH CLASS!!!! (because I'm a moron) I guess it doesn't help that I'm slightly burnt out on school, but I really just have to stick with it. I'm also not exactly happy that I'm losing my medical and dental insurance and I have a 300 dollar car payment every month now. I'm so poor it's not even funny. As for my job which supplies me with my minimal amount of money, it's almost over because we're cleaning up the rink right now. (Hi Kelly! - shameless plug just in case because it'd be funny) .. And DAMN wasn't Eric's rant just f-ing hilarious when he retold the sakajewea lik'm'aid story?! I still think the way he spelled it looks like lick a maid though. ;] - chris

"Pardon me for being old fashioned and a hopeless romantic, but I'd rather talk to someone on at least three separate meetings before they start touch-flirting with me."

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March 10th 2003- OH MY GOD!!!!!

The new album by the White Stripes KICKS ASS!! OH my god. Okay, so first off, yes, im a horrible person because it's a bootleg, even though i'm still going to go out at midnight on the first of april to pick up my official copy, but that said, THIS IS THE GREATEST CD IN THE WORLD!!! Oh man, its so soooooooo cool. And i think "Girl, you have no faith in medicine" is the greatest, coolest, most kick ass song i have ever heard, and is probably, in most likely hood, going to be the song that blows out my speakers from plaing it so many times at such a high decible level. Its the coolest song, on the coolest cd i have ever heard. And ive heard lots of cool CD's!! Now granted, you'll probably find a better review of this Cd in some of the more respected music magazines, and by this i mean the COOL, GOOD magazines like NME and Mojo, and maybe, somewhat, for a brief instant, rolling stone, but you wont find one this excited and hopped up about it!! I havnt even listened to the entire cd yet, just most of the songs, or bits of most of them, flicking around like a crazy kid who just got the coolest cd in the world! And this one song, "there's no home for you here" i heard about 30 seconds of before, and it sounded kind of odd, after listening to it in entirety, i love it and its one of their best songs. (oh, and little question here, why are librarians so HOT!?!?!? and by that i mean usually the ones who stack the books and stuff, not the old old ones who check you out and give you dirty looks when you check things out like "how to raise llamas to attack", im talking about the HOT ones.) now back to the kick ass CD! So, meg white is all sorts of sexy too, she's the drummer, and she sings on one song called "cold cold night" and she's a great singer. Hmm, and the first single "seven nation army" is awesome! But i skipped over it because i already heard it before. Its so good man, its so good! Game over man, game over!! It makes me want to go running and make art and stuff, not that i could do the two in unison but you know what i mean, it just gets you excited! oh my god! I almost forgot about the song "hypnotise" which is only about a minute and fifty seconds long but its awesome!! Ive said awesome so many times in this rant its....awesome!! It has the PERFECT mix of pretty soft songs, sung very beautifully, with amazing music and atmosphere, and then the rocking songs could be used as missles they are so explosive. This CD is like a time bomb, waiting until you pop it in your player, and once in, it goes like a nuclear warhead. I just have a total, complete new found respect for the White Stripes. I loved them before i saw them in concert, and then once i did, i realized how incredible they were, and what an artist and performer Jack White is, now this CD, its tantamount to the great works of art of the last century, or any century, its definitly their best, and definitly one that is going to shape the next few months of my life. You know those CD's, the ones that you listened to over and over and over again, and became synonomous with a time of your life. today i listened again to The invisible band by Travis, such an inredible CD, and i remember when i listened to it over and over again, for about two months a year or two ago. The same with Californication by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. And for a CD that i have waited for for so long, and been so excited about for so long to actually surpass any expectation is the coolest thing in the world. This CD is like the two lord of the rings movies put together its so cool. I am so happy!! I just said that in a very sing song voice mind you. And whoever thinks im a dork because im so excited, word to your mother! And if you think im an even BIGGER dork because i just said "word to your mother" then its hammer time! Because im sure each and every one of you loves music, and with all the horrible horrible musical crap fest that the radio spews on us every day,(dave matthews' band should STOP MAKING MUSIC!! Or at least stop making the SAME music over and over again!) getting your hands on a piece of pure musical magic is exhilirating. Whoo HOOO!!
now back to your regularly scheduled day of not hearing me rant

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March 9th 2003- Its time to recreate the funny! Okay, so yesterday it was rather beautiful here in the fine city of st. louis, so chris and i decided to gallivant about. We ended up at the zoo! The zoo on a gorgeous day is great for several reasons, one of the main reasons is that there are lots of hot girls! And um..animals..i go for the animals of course..just because animals are SO HOT! Well the pumas are at least. But it took us awhile to find a parking space, and then we just walked around the zoo and looked at the non existant animals because they're LAZY and dont want to be out in the nice pretty day. We got to see some bears and groundhogs and lots and lots of people. So pretty much, it was somewhat unexciting, but exciting in the fact that it was a gorgeous day and it was something to do. And oddly enough it seemed like all the hot girls were outside the zoo, not inside. But we're leaving and both thirsty, and nothing quenches your thirst like a 3 dollar coke, let me tell you. "mmm, taste the swindling!" and they dont give you lids or straws because they could harm the animals. Now you might be thinking "how could you harm an animal with a lid or a straw?" well my friend, you obviously havnt been trained. But we are walking back to the entrance and the far far away parked new grand vitara, and chris doesnt believe that i know how to get back, because he doesnt trust me! But i show him and he says something along the lines of (and very loudly, around lots of young children) "BITCH!! What are you!? Fucking Lewis and fucking Clark! GODDAMN BITCH!"

Chris: Dude, i SO did not say that!!
Hey man! What are you doing interfering in my rant! Get your own rant! oh wait, all YOUR rants are invisible!!
Chris: Shut your mouth!!
No you shut YOUR mouth!!
Chris: I will smack you in the mouth, I'm Neil Diamond!!!

Go away Chris!!!

Okay so anyway, we are leaving and we start taling about (time to butcher historical names!) Sacko Jaweah (yea i know thats NOT how you spell it, but its how i spell it dammit! I will smack you in the mouth, I'm Neil Diamond!) and about how cool it would be to have Sacko Jaweah as a spokesperson for lickamaid! The cool candy treat with the pure sugar dipping stick that you dip in the pure sugar powder! Its fun for the whole high strung family. So it would go something like this!

Hi! I'm Sacko Jaweah, and im here to tell you about lickamaid! When you need to cross three states in three days, you need something for that extra kick! Thats when i turn to lickamaid! It's pure concentrated sugar utensil is the best thing to use when sucking down flavored sugar, and if you doubt me, i'll scalp you!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!" and then the commercial would go on to be that she never had a baby, and it was just a lickamaid dipping stick carved out to look like a baby! Lewis and clark would be talking about how it was the whitest indian child they had ever seen, and wondering about the cultures of the american indians because Sacko Jaweah kept dipping her infant into powder and licking it off. And then after finishing the entire week's supply of lickamaid in several hours, she would be running circles around everybody! She'd just shout out what she saw, and every time she saw a buffalo she would say "There's a buffalo!" And she would say it when there was a stampede!! "There's a buffalo! There's a buffalo! There's a buffalo! There's a buffalo! There's a buffalo! There's a buffalo! There's a buffalo! There's a buffalo! There's a buffalo! There's a buffalo! There's a buffalo! There's a buffalo! There's a buffalo! There's a buffalo!" And then they'd kill her! And tell everybody she died from small pox. We are the country's greatest undiscovered advertising talents!!

Oh, this was Eric by the way, in case you thought Chris was having an argument with himself, or went to the zoo by himself and talked to himself. Which he does.

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March 6th 2003 - What the hell?!!? I completely did TOO write a rant and now it's gone! I think Eric deleted it just to spite me in the history page. Or someone didn't like the fact I was dissing my teacher and hacked in our page, which is completely unlikely because who actually looks at our page. Geez that pisses me off because it's the only thing I've wanted to rant about in a while and I DID. Grrr.. the other thing I could rant about is my DSL cutting in and out all the freaking time. Thanks Yahoo and Southwestern Bell,.. for SUCKING!! Hmph. I'm not even going to make this particular rant long just in case it some how mysteriously vanishes. - chris

"Gah, I had even commented about my manager having three testicles because no one ever gets to say that!"

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March 5th, 2003- And Welcome to March! Ah its finally march, and soon i will be in san francisco, eating rice and singing tony bennet songs. And i am fighting off severe fatigue! Just because i've been going to bed late and rising early, damn you work! But i'll be getting a brief vacation soon. So what to talk about, this the 5th day into march. Well, i feel bad, but so good! I found a bootleg copy of the new white stripes CD, elephant on ebay, and bought it! I plan on buying it anyway, but i just cant wait! its like peeking at your presents before christmas, i guess im just impatient. It sounds so good though, and ill probably buy multiple copies for friends and such, because from what ive heard and what ive read, its amazing. Im sitting here right now with the new issue of NME and it has them on the cover, and Meg White is SO pretty, and Jack White is SO cool that you gotta love them! He's actually quite pretty himself, in case he was feeling left out of the elevator with all the pretty people in it. But no offense, Meg is much prettier. So hopefully that will be coming soon. The album is released officially on the 1st of april, which is a tuesday. I will be getting it around 12:05 AM that morning. It's called Elephant, i dont know if i mentioned that, and the first single is Seven Nation Army, which no st. louis radio station is playing because THEY SUCK!! All they want to play is dreck nu-metal and horrible, horrible music like that. But i did find a good radio station that plays very diverse music, stuff that they normally never play on any other radio station, and naturally it's a college radio station. So if your ever in St. louis, plug into 89.1, good station. So far this has been a very unfunny rant, mainly because im very tired, and i dont really want to go home and sleep because im odd like that. I dont like to sleep during the day time, even though its very bleak and bleary out here today. And i have printmaking class at 7, and our critique, and i have to get my prints all nice and fancy for such an occasion. And in other news, i wish that girl were here at the library, so that i might have the chance to talk to her, but the thought of it makes me nervous. I dont know why. Perhaps ive fallen into the age old trap of building it up in my head. So i need to not think about it. Perhaps i am just starved for attention, and starving to give attention. So in other news, i have just been picked by a jury at my school to represent the best this school has to offer in way of art, for a national competition. Somewhat. Its called the league of innovation, and one of my pieces is going to be published in their catalog. Which piece you might ask? You can go to the artwork page and see, its Number 5 in the Amber series. I dont know why they picked that one, the other pieces i entered were better i think, but i wont complain. YOu can win up to $500 for first place, and about $300 for third place or so, but i dont think i'll win any money, just the publication is nice. Yay! I just sent payment for the CD. Please dont hate me white stripes!! I'll buy you guys a coke. Coke cans are red, its a perfect fit! Well i suppose this could be the end of this rant for the march 5th edition, unless i get some gumption up and write something later, which i probably wont. But i might. So im going to leave you guessing, sitting in front of your computer, pressing the refresh button, waiting dilligently to see if i add another rant. I've sunk my talons into you, and their talons of gold!! Because i just got some new gold talon nail polish and its gorgeous!

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