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August 22nd 2003- Eric here! And im writing a rant, cause im wearin pants but they're actually shorts but they look like capris. I hate and love these shorts, these shorts that are the only shorts that are clean, and that don't have either resin/paint/solvent/hydrocloric acid and other various art implementing characters on them. But they are long! They come down past my knee, so it makes my legs look all short and stuff, and i think i have sexy legs! Or at least knees and calves. Ive got some sexy knees and calves baby. I show my knee cap and women SWOON! And swarm. Today has been a bit cooler than it has been lately, where the temperatures have reached what i believe to be the day time temperature of Mercury. And now its about the daytime temperature of say, Venus or Mars. OH wait god! I just opened myself up to a whole "men are from Venus and women are from Mars. And Mickey Mouse's dog is from Goofy and Pluto, and Minnie." I personally like planet Donald Duck, its orbit is SO cute! The ass end of it waddles back and forth around the sun. I believe it to be the cutest orbit in the entire universe. And thats including the orbit of the Ewok planet. Which i believe isnt a planet of all, but a moon, a moon of Endor. Who knows what that bastard Lucas can come up with. I know, i know!! BAD MOVIES!! I think he should have just been an advisor on the three prequels, and let someone else helm them because i dont think he has the grapes to do it himself. He obviously doesnt because the first one sucked so horribly, excpet for small minor things, and the second one wasnt that good wither, except for small minor things. Now with the third one coming out, its got the best story potential, and could make a great movie, but it will probably end up being really bad. Go Lucas! Peter Jackson is in my opinion one of the greatest directors working, and has an amazing vision. He looks a hell of a lot nicer than George Lucas also, who kind of looks evil. I cant wait until tuesday when the Two Towers comes out!! Im just going to rent it, but ill buy the special edition one that comes out in november. I want to see the extra 40 minutes or so that they are adding into it. Ah Gollum was so cool. And i cant wait for the third, and you KNOW its gonna be the best one. I'm gonna have tiny little heart attacks each second, and the power of the movie shall revive me. Ah zombie life, thats the life for me.
-- August 21st 2003- Hot jiggly! We're adding rants in an almost regular fashion! But we dont add ANYTHING new to any other part of the website. So its like trying to keep your nails well manicured while say...you gain a thousand pounds. Focusing on keeping one thing invariably leads to something else being overlooked. Which is why our website weighs one thousand pounds. But has sexy nails. Oh yea. I didnt know, or didnt remember that someone said they would give us money if we were here a year later. We've been here for about two years!! Okay, so Im going to rant about this little thing while im here, at a computer, and somewhat stranded. Why am i stranded? Is it because everything around me has become water and in that water are horrible man eating sharks? Yes. But im a good swimmer and an even better fighter so that doesnt really put a hitch in my getalong. But Chris will know the true reason that i am stranded. Wont you Chris? Wont you? Because you left me on the side of the road with only a santa cap and fifteen cents!! Who the deuce do you think you are? "hmm, that was rather strange and uncalled for. It seems like Eric is having trouble figuring out what he wants to say and see if he can make his escape without having to talk to a certain crazy woman who hangs out at the library at all times when her boyfriend is working there, and yet wants Eric to do things for her because she seduced him once and therefore feels that he is now her bitch and wont tell him that she has a boyfriend because she thinks that if he knew he wouldnt be "that guy on the side that will take me places and buy me stuff" that she thinks she has in him. Ah but she doesnt! And how any time he sees her she asks "so what are you up to?" Or "what are you going to do?" in that tone that isnt a "just wondering about what your up to" oh no its "what are you up to that i may join and MOOCH off of you?" I HATE that. And Eric does too. Oh and he cant really remember all the crazy stuff that she has done because all his friends know her and she is completely insane. And Eric isn't anybody's bitch, regardless of whether or not they're hot. And she stays at the library for HOURS waiting for her boyfriend to get off work, and I'm sorry but i think that that is INSANE!! If i had a girlfriend who hung around my work for hours and hours, even if it was a library, i would be sort of wierded out. Oh and this isn't Eric writing this quote, its a natural thought quote spoken by someone other than Eric that is viewing all of this from a detached point of view. OH and the last time he saw her she wanted him to take photos of her for a modeling thing, but wanted him to take them only because he could develop them himself at school, because she isn't allowed into the dark room any more because she stole people's things!! She's a user and an abuser, and Eric aint nobody's fool, and he is even fewer people's bitch." Anonymous -- "umm, wow. That quote was even longer than the rant. I wonder how the person who said that quote knew so much about my life. Kind of strange. I did see someone rummaging through my garbage the other night, but i just thought it was my grandma."
"She's part racoon."
Eric -- August 21st 2003 - Woohoo! One more day of work and then I get a month off before I start at the rink again. I did however already start school on Wednesday and it's actually not that bad! My C++ class is being taught by the only good teacher they have which is total luck because he had retired or something, and my Macroeconomics class teacher is really pretty and she seems really nice. Except for the fact she's obsessed with group work,.. bitch. I just had my Business Writing class and it's okay. My teacher sounds a bit like he's from Minnesota. And I'll be going to my Managerial Accounting class in about...... 3 hours. Night classes rock. So much do they rock, I'll probably do well this semester and get out of academic probation. =] Really though I don't have that much to add at the moment, I just wanted to make sure I don't slack off on the website. Geez, and what ever happened to the guy who said he'd donate money to us if we were still here after a year? Liar. ;] - chris "Eric should plug the website when he goes to court." -- August 20th 2003- Can I get a witness!! Can I please! Because I don't want to go to court! Oh wait, maybe i do. So i can send that bastard to burn in HELL!!! Hi everybody!! Eric here. What was that? Oh, that little intro? Oh yes. Well, do you all remember back in march, st. patricks day i believe, my car was stolen right out of the parking lot of my work. I got it back and such, and about a month ago the guy who stole it was caught!! YAY!! For the justice system. I got a letter from the DA saying that i could recoup my monetary losses from the theft (which totaled up close to $500.) Well, i just got a supoena and i have to appear in court to testify against him!! I've never appeared in court before. But i do have faith in the justice system, or at least, in two small brothers who had a big part in bringing the perp to justice. I like to call them Eugene and Jean Michelle. You see, sometimes, some crimes, go slipping through the cracks. But these two gum shoes are picking up the slack. There's no case too big, no case too small, when you need help just call Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip and Dale's Rescue Rangers, Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip and Dale Rescue Rangers. When theres danger, you know it never fails, they'll take the clues and find the whens, and whys, and whos. Ch-Ch-Chip and Dale's Rescue Rangers, Ch-Ch-Ch.....what? NO that isnt the lyrics to the awesome Disney cartoon "Chip and Dale's Rescue Rangers. Its just my praise for the amazing detective talents of Eugene and Jean Michelle. Hopefully they'll protect me when this perp puts a hit out on me after knowing what i look like from being on the witness stand. Oohh!! Or maybe he'll throw acid in my face and I'll end up looking like Two-Face!! Oh that would be so cool. And I have a shaved head so i'll look even MORE menancing. Wow. Awesome. On an even cooler note, OH MY GOD!!! I'm sure everybody has seen the orignal Planet Of The Apes. GREAT movie, love Charlton Heston and that movie. And i just saw the second one last night for the first time. I saw the original a long time ago, and maybe i saw it before i reached puberty or something because MY GOD the woman in that movie is SOOOOOOOOOO hot. Her name is Linda Harrison. Whooooooooooo nelly. And she's all savage lookin in it and such. You can put your stinkin paws on me you damn sexy lady. She is in the second one as well. I cant really say its great acting, because she doesnt speak, and im sure she was just supposed to be the super freaky hot lady for Charlton Heston, a role she fills quite nicely..and voluptously. And nicely. Wow. So she's incredibly beautiful. And i looked her up on the internet movie database, IMDB for you abbreviation hounds, and she has only been in a few movies, but she won Miss USA or Miss America, so i think she was a model, not an actress. Oh, and about the movies. The first one is great, of course. The second one is pretty cool too, but wierder. All these wierd telepathic people worshipping a nuclear bomb. But the ending is SO cool. They blow it up!! They finally did it, those MANIACS!! They blew it up!! Damn them all!! Damn them all straight to hell!! So its kind of sad. But so cool! Oh yea and im quoting planet of the apes at any chance. Its a mad house!! A maaaadddd house!!! I LOVE that line!! Charlton Heston is so cool. Even if he's all about toting guns. But thats okay. I dont think he is a crazy nut like say...Chris' dad. Speaking of crazy. I found the Cremaster dvd's on ebay. Now, they are bootlegs because they have never been officially released, so they were taken off of ebay. Or forced to be taken off. I contacted the seller, and he said that he would sell them for $150 bucks!! They are movies 1 & 2, 4& 5, and the book about them. Granted, thats alot of stuff, but $150 bucks is ALOT OF MONEY!! So i asked him if the price was negotiable, and he told me that it was if no one else wanted to pay that much. Well, it appears that no one does. So he is offering to sell them to me at $100. Not much of a change but in the right direction. So im wondering if i should. They are amazing movies, and it would be kind of neat to have them, plust the book. If its the book im thinking of, which im not sure, that book alone is about 65 dollars. I was planning on buying the book anyway, but now for only about 30 more dollars i can get the book and the movie. So im going to write the guy and find out, and maybe i'll get them. "i'm off to kick Superman's ass!! And watch this awesome video about Robert Rauschenberg i got at the library. But not necessarily in that order!! So watch your back Superman." -- August 13th 2003 - Ah, school time again. Can you believe I start school on a freaking WEDNESDAY?! I was supposed to work 7 days in a row because the mayor extended our closing day to the 22nd, but now since I'm starting school on the 20th, that just can't happen. On a completely different note, I'm not going to drink heavily again for quite some time. Last night was our end of the year staff party. It was at a hotel and there were two keg-lets, jello-shots, and other beverages. I had my own vodka before I got there because I feel I need to be a little buzzed to be able to stand our entire staff in a crowded room for an extended period of time. I also wanted to be a little drunk so that when I did drink beer it didn't really taste as gross. Either way, I was on my fifth beer and two jello shots later when I decided to give a beer bong a try. I'd never done one because it's always so freaky looking and I was scared it'd just kinda go all over me. Regardless I did it really well, but my body however didn't really enjoy having the equivalent of about 2 1/2 beers go to my stomach in the matter of 2 seconds. I was able to hold it off for about a minute but then I just gave in and decided to do my body a favor and I rejected all the contents of that bong, the fifth beer and both jello shots into a porcelain recepticle, flushed, and composed myself like nothing had happened. Over all it was a pretty good night. I got to see this one guy who I think is cute, though for extensuating circumstances he isn't really on my "going after" list in any way shape or form. I got to hang out with a bunch of drunk hilarious people from my work and play some cards. The part that DID suck however was by the end of the night when most people had gone home and another cashier and I were trying to get this one guy to stay the night at the hotel because he was in NO condition to drive. He however had different plans.. plans that involved being really vulgar and angry towards us for trying to get him to stay. Then when another person who was sort of asleep woke up and decided to figure out what was happening and then trying to also get this person to stay rather than drive, vulgar-angry person starts a fight with this other person, gets them a bit bloody and screams "I will choke you!" all psycho and shit at him. Lets keep in mind that the drunk psycho is 21 and the guy trying to help is 16. They woke up the next door hotel people a bit with their wrestling and my brother finally decided to wake up and sort of break things apart by saying he had no qualms with calling the cops on either of them, then preceeding to berate the 21 yr old psycho for being an ass and not being able to deal with his intoxication. I don't know much about what happened afterwards because the cashier previously mentioned decides she's going to try and talk calmly to 21 psycho guy and they go off. I decide I'm sick of the evening already and go to say bye and psycho gets all pissy with me. I tell them I was just there to say good night and give my fellow cashier a hug and then leave. I got home about 4:30 am and went to sleep. This morning however I felt like total crud, like I had a brand new set of knives in my stomach, and that's about all. I sort of felt a little sick, but nothing like how my brother felt who likened his head to feel 7 sizes larger and being struck by a hammer. Thankfully I didn't have to work today because then that would be three days that I've gone into work possibly still drunk and/or hungover. Sooo yeah.. no more drinking for ol' Christophe for a while. It'll be a very sober poker night on Friday for me. - chris "'Hey, where did 'you' come from?' .. 'Well, when a man loves a woman..'" -- August 9th 2003- Eric here, and you know what..I'm starting to think that Pokemon are just made up creatures!! After months and years of searching, I still havnt found a single one! I thought i found one once, but it turned out to be this really wierd looking old woman. I still tried to knock her out and keep her in a ball though, but that kinda didn't work. She was small, but not that small. Who knew that getting old women to fit inside a tennis ball would be so much trouble? Let alone trying to find a pokemon! I had my heart set on finding tiny little creatures and using them to fight each other....wait a minute..i could train kids to become ninjas and have them fight each other! For my enjoyment of course, but also for the betterment of man kind. Chris and i talked before about training babies to become ninjas to protect houses, as they rode around on trained raccoons. Its not could it happen, its when it will happen. And maybe it already has. Maybe im just three ninja babies standing on each others shoulders, with clothes covering me up so i look like an adult when actually im three ninjas, ready to kick some ass! But i dont think thats the way it is. I'm not so sure about Chris though. -- August 5th 2003 - Ahh.. cleaning house right now, and I figured while I'm waiting for my laundry to duke it out, I'd make an August 2003 page for your enjoyment. I'm also d/ling something people at work told me to d/l which is haloesque and funny. We'll just see about that. ;] Other than that, I recently just had to work at my other winter job location for about 2 and a half hours and it was BORING AS HELL!! The guy in charge at the time was a complete asshole to me too and said he didn't care if we were short at the pool (which I was also working at that day and had to go back afterwards) and was just plain mean about it. So I figured if he didn't care that we were short at the pool and I was coming to help THEM because they were short, then f-k them. I don't care if they're short either. So I told my manager at the pool who then in turn talked to that person's manager and they talked to that old crotchety guy who I'm SURE I've ranted about before because I HATE that old man. Anyway, long story short, he completely lied to his senior and told him all kinds of lies just to get him out of trouble. What an asshole! I swear, if you're old and mean, then just be all behind your meanness and don't pretend to be someone you're not. He's probably worked there since before moses so he wasn't going to get fired over something so stupid, but Noooo, he decides to take the fart route. What a jack mongo. So either way, I'm not going to work for them anymore because I just don't give a damn. K, back to cleaning my room and not writing anything hilariously funny like Eric's rants. =] - chris "Why must you continue to kill my pet gnats?? I'm keeping Guford the IVth away from you at all cost." -- |