September 6th-2001- Its Eric!! And i havnt added anything to the site since the 11th of August!! And yes i know that this september rant is in the august rants, but i...dont..know how to make a new rant page. So im just out here to let people know that I DIDN'T die, it was just a mistaken case of identity. YAY for me!

From the Imitation Krabs episode of SpongeBob SquarePants

Okay okay, I'll add more to the site. I promise! Im going to add alot more of my artwork and photography work soon, but i work like 8 hours a day when im not at school for 12 hours! Have some sympathy!!!! And cash. Gimme cash. ANOTHER QUOTE!? ERIC YOUR SO GENEROUS!!

I'm a knife, I'm a knife, watch me I'm a knife, cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut.

Space Ghost funny. And slightly demented. But funny demensia.

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August 31st 2001 - Uh.. okay, so I'm only making an entry because it's been a while. Basically a whole lot of stuff has been happening in everyone's lives and it really stinks. Eric's working like 9 hours a day when he's NOT going to school for 11 hours a day (two days a week), among other things. Still haven't talked to that guy, still don't know 'how' to as a matter of fact, but like that's important. I am no longer getting the job I thought I was going to get. I was totally stoked about this job I was going to get with my friend Rose, and I was going to just work part time, 6-10, 5 days a week. It was perfect, .. BUT the training I just found out which was supposed to be shorter hours since it's a five week training has been lengthened because "The Canadians" are coming down to make sure it's perfect. Sooo, it's a mandatory five week training starting at 1:30-10:00 either five days or seven days a week. I'm sorry but as Eric put it, even ASTRONAUTS don't train that much!! I definitely wouldn't be able to do homework let alone even socialize with friends for five weeks if I did that, so sadly I have to find another job which is so f-ing harder than it sounds. Especially when you just want to work part time. Other than that, school is really going completely great. I really dig my oral communications class (and I HATE talking in public) and I get to go completely crazy on our first speech. It's what five things would you take with you if you were marooned on an island. The FIRST thing I thought of was either a boat or a helicopter to get me off the damned island. I heard from another girl in my water aerobics class, (my classes are so spookily intertwined it's not even describable), that some other guy said he wanted a boat and the teacher was completely shocked and said that in 20 years, NO ONE has ever said they wanted a boat. So that just kinda says something about me (and Eric, cuz he thought of it too) I guess. Anyway, so the other things I'm taking with me are a computer with working internet, a power plant (for electricity), a regular postal system, and money. That way if I ever wanted anything else, I could just order it on the computer, pay for it, and have it delivered with my postal system, or just go get it with my helicopter or boat, or boaticopter if I can't decide which one I want more. My water aerobics class is pretty cool, and it's actually a work out. We all look really stupid doing it, but it's fun either way because we're 'all' looking stupid. Plus the lifeguard on duty is mildly attractive and he's greek or russian or something. My philosophy class is nice, but trying to read that stuff is maddening! Philosophers just were not bound by the rules of RUN ON SENTENCES or anything. They're long winded and would have an entire paragraph that roughly translated into "I'm tired." So that's what we're reading now with Descartes, the father of modern philosophy. Boy was that guy a crack pot from what we're talking about so far. Anyhow, so I accidentally forgot to have Morgan scan my pictures for me and she'll be gone this weekend, so I'll have to write myself a note for next time I see her. If you think the scanner is getting fixed 'any' time soon, you're sorely mistaken. ;] Well, that's all I can think of at this time. I'm going to go hang out with Liz cuz she just got back from Memphis for the last time ever cuz she's moving back, yay!!! - chris

"Maybe I should just forget about getting a job and start pimping myself out, I'd work my own hours, great pay, meet new people.. "

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August 22nd 2001 - Have you ever been happy and sad at the same time? That's kinda what I got going on right now. I basically just got out of my classes for today and that inbetween time between my two was probably the happiest part and the saddest part of my day entirely. The reason behind it is pretty pathetic and I'm not ashamed to admit it, a boy. Slight back story is that last semester 'right' before I had my breakdown due to stress, I registered for classes and saw this guy also registering. Most people know what they're looking for visually in that special someone and this guy was 'it'. Well I went home feeling lucky I actually got to see this person (for two hours due to waiting for counselors) and then continued on with my life. Little did I know that this same guy was also in one of my classes; mind you a very odd class that probably not a lot of people take - Bio medical ethics. I only took that class because it sounded cool and I really think that my ideas on making babies with gills or wings or something are feasible, or at least worth a try anyway. ;] So that was shocking in of itself, but then I had my breakdown (which sucked) and I ended up withdrawling from all my classes never to see this guy again. Well, out of no where, I see him walking down the hall while I was going to my human sexuality class. I wasn't even looking at people in the hall, but I happened to look over and we made eye contact. I was so in shock that it didn't even register it was him till he was already down the hallway. Yeah, pathetic is my life, only because a) he's probably not gay, statistically speaking of course, and b) there's no feasible way I could ever start up a conversation with a complete stranger AND have that conversation lead to further conversations rather than a one time "whoa that was odd" type of thing. So if in fact we actually 'do' get viewers on this website, I'd like to know your input as to whether or not I should just forget everything about this guy's existance and go about my life or invesitage further and try to (God forbid) speak to this individual? Granted I don't really think anyone will actually give their input, but it would be appreciated. .. Other than that, basicaly my day will be pretty normal with the exception of me going to the doctor to see if I actually popped my inner ear with a q-tip because I wasn't thinking clearly that day a week ago evidently. - chris

"Can't think... brain racing.. Oooo geese!"

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August 20th 2001 - Did I say my Human Sexuality class wasn't going to be interesting? Well let me take that back. So far it's really interesting. Not really the material exactly, but by the fact my class is being taught by a completely blind man. Talk about awesome. He's been teaching for 32 years and has been blind for 20 years due to diabetes, and he just keeps on going. It's really inspiring to see someone like that overcome something so debilitating. So that was cool. My first class, intro to philosophy, has the same teacher I had for my logic class and she's great. She's a cute little woman from portugal and she's just funny and great. I haven't had my water aerobics or oral communications classes yet as those are tomorrow, but if my day goes anything like today it should be really nice. The only thing that could be better is that I'm dizzy all the time. How you ask? Well, about last wednesday after taking my shower, I was q-tiping my ears .. I do this really odd thing where I leave the q-tips in there so I can get back to them after I finish other stuff like brushing my hair or something. So, I accidentally bump one of the q-tips into my left ear really far and it hurt like a bitch, let me tell you!! Ooo that hurt, but anyway, so every day 'after' that I've just been really dizzy feeling. Not actually dizzy to where I can't stand on one leg or walk a balance beam, but just feeling like you're dizzy and your inner ear is all out of wak. So I have to see the doctor this Wednesday (just got the appointment 10 minutes ago) to see if anything is seriously wrong or if I might have an inner ear infection or just anything else. So it sucks to be starting out school all dizzy and not being able to read without my eyes hurting and then feeling more dizzy, but hey it could be worse. I could have diabetes, blind, and trying to teach a Human Sexuality class. ;] Hopefully this will pass soon enough and I can get on with my life. Granted I don't exactly like malls, but I just don't enjoy feeling like I'm going to pass out in them (or anywhere mind you!) while I'm shopping. Two and a half cheers for my first day of school I actually woke up for! - chris.

"Aw crap, I got the wrong book for philosophy and now I have to spend 'more' money I don't have!"

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August 14th 2001 - Not much happening, school starts in less than a week and I have no clue if I can wake up early enough to function. I hopefully will have a job by mid-september because I think I got the job with my friend Rose at her work. It's not exactly awesome work or typing, but it at least pays well so that's cool. My grandma got back surgery this morning and we think she's okay. I only got one call and that was three hours ago saying she was in recovery and would be there for an hour. .. wow, great timing, I just got another call and she's doing fine except she has to lay flat on her back for 24 hours and then stay in the hospital for 5-7 days. I don't know how it's going to work out but evidently I'm supposed to stay with her in the mornings till my mom can get off of work to stay with her. Other than that my brother finally got over a week long 101 fever virus (one of the main reasons I couldn't add to the site) and then we find out that no one really checks the site at all. So basically the site has now kinda turned into a time capsule for later generations or something to look at. What will become of Banjoduck and Biomoleculargeneticist homepage version 2.0 you ask? It's a Gundam!!! - chris

"You know? Looking through this Human Sexuality book, I don't think it's going to be that cool of a class."

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August 11th, 2001 : Eric "Do you really expect me to talk Dr. Numnum?"

Taken from the new James Bond OO7 movie, "whu..whuh..why is my arm so slobbery?"

"So Carmen Sandiego, how exactly do you plan on destroying the planet? A super laser? Plauge? Nuclear bomb?"

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NOW it's August 10th, 2001!!!: Eric

HA HA HA HA!!! Sorry, i was just laughing about the joke that i told at the end of the last rant, the one about the porn star and the ice cream sandwich, i laughed so hard i fell out of my chair, and im the one who told it!! Wait i didnt fall out of my chair because of that, Dr. Numnum pulled it out from under me because i was laughing so hard, he had been drinking again. What had he been drinking again? I believe that it was straight morphine, which only backs up his name, Dr. Numnum, but is that his REAL name? Yes. Yes it is. See, when i first met Dr. Numnum, he was gnawing on my arm. I fell asleep underneath a tree while reading a book in the park, and woke up to find him gnawing on it like a dog on a soup bone. Seeing that he had a doctors coat on and a stethescope, i screamed out "let go of my arm Dr. Numnum!" because saying numnum just gives you the picture of somebody gnawing on someone else's arm. Or their own. And, as it turns out, that was his actual name, thats why he stopped gummin my arm. Because he has no teeth, that is why he gums people. And ironically he has no teeth because he can't stand the thought of novacaine or pain killers (other than when used to get you drunk) and his teeth were in such pain that instead of going to the dentist and getting them worked on, he purposefully started hitting on all the married women he could find in the hopes that their husbands would come along and knock his teeth out. But considering his way of breaking the ice is to gnaw on your arm, the women mostly took care of that themselves. And it gets even more ironic. After having his teeth kicked out, he realized that his arm-gnawing was being affected, having no teeth to grasp on to the arm and such, so he then began to inject the person with morphine or novacaine or just approach them from behind with a chloroform soaked rag and knock them out, and proceed to gum their arms, so painkillers were the reason for, and the salvation of his odd odd addiction. Such was the case when we crossed each other's path. He asked me how i knew his name and, being the polite person i am i said "cause you were gnawin on my arm you sick bastard!!" And because he had a unconcious nun draped over his back, hence my thought of numb nun. Although its Numnum. Okay so for some reason i cant remember the rest of the story. yay! no wait thats bad. yay!!

"So Dr. Numnum goes into counseling for his arm gumming addiction and the counselor asks "Doctor, why do you gum people's arms?" And Dr. Numnum said "cause i just killed your mother you whore!!"

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August 9th 2001, Eric

Okay yea, i kind of went forward in time and wrote those rants the other day, actually it was the 8th then but i didn't know the date, and i dont feel like changing them. I forgot a good majority of what i wished to rant about the other day and yet i don't at the moment really feel like ranting about it. Did anybody ever watch the A-Team? I know you did, you can admit it. It was a good show, and the leader of the A-Team, Hannibal ( i dont remember his last name, and i know it wasn't Lecter) would always say at the end of each episode, or usually use the comment while puffing on his cigar "Ah! I love it when a plan comes together." And so do I, and yet no plans can ever come together. Like a conductor weaving his baton through the air to orchestrate the settings and creations of things one can set something up and go about it. I have no such baton. Well i normally do, but at the moment, the orchestra has packed up and moved off to another venue. Ah well, what can we do. what can we do. I don't even feel like ranting about Dr. Numnum, the world's leading anithesiologist. So i'm probably not. Hasn't this site gotten so happy lately? :)

"So Dr. Numnum and a priest walk into the bar, and the priest says "Boy, I sure could use a bite" so Dr. Numnum shot him."

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August 10th (ammendment to the previous addition):Eric

wow, i just read the thing i just wrote..and it was horrible. Sorry folks. Oh, has www.geocities.com/chrisericus/indexmain.html gone the way of the dinorsaurs? And why can't we be brought back by a money grubbing theme park inventor to create a park where little kids can see us run around eating goats (goats is slang for gummi bears and french fries at this point) and then little kids could watch us. Wait i was just really really really redundant there. Sigh, what if we have? What if NOBODY is checking this site and we are only sending our thoughts out into the cold tundra of cyberspace to shack up with some lonely eskimo hobo by the name of Javier or Chiquita or Razor-back Joe, and they would have freakish cyber children that would give all your computers diseases like cheap french whores empowered by sattelites and phone lines, leaving no trace but the stench of abandonment still hung over from their parents defeat! and WHO would their parents be!! At this point im too confused to answer that! But i can tell you, its all because neither of us has the gumption to make a rant or add anything to the site cause any time i go over to chris' house we just kind of sit in the kitchen and look at each other and go "yea." because his brother has TAKEN OVER the computer/tv room and left no fun in the entire house. Will we REALLY have freak cyber children born of the loins of our lonely site and an eskimo hobo named Spike Backed Johnny? I think we will, unless you check our site! And write us back! Okay well nobody has to write us back. Just write me back people! I like getting mail.

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August 10th ( I believe):Eric

Why don't i have anything to write about anymore? I have no clue. I am just absolutely clueless as to what to write about. Chris said i should just go and rant and think up all kinds of cool things but i cant at the moment and why even add anything to the site when i have absolutely nothing to add? So that i can say that i added something to the site, it's like a catch 22 or a catcher in the rye or a moby dick or anna karenna, something like that.

"....I...can't really come up with a quote..right now. sorry"

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August 8th-2001, Via the brain of Eric:

nobody writes me. at all.

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August 1st 2001 - Oh, I forgot to add as Eric pointed out, that on the trip back from Memphis while Rachel was driving, going 90 mph, in the rain,.. we ran over a rather large white dog. It was already dead to begin with, otherwise it was really stupid to sleep in the road like that, but we were going waaaaaay to fast to swirve around it, plus it was dark. I felt really bad, and it was just so evil. Good thing it was Rachel driving and not me, poor dog. On a completely different note if anyone reads these things, go to Penny Arcade, it's an awesome website I just happened to come across one day while listening to mp3's, and all of a sudden my Winamp had a browser. That was really odd so I messed around and found Penny Arcade. These guys are really talented and funny. Their comics alone had me laughing for hours (considering there's a whole lot of them). Other than that, not much going on. School starts in 19 days, I'm still trying to find a job, I'm poor, the computer still isn't fixed, and my HTML book is starting to get on my nerves with its lack of help. Maybe if I 'had' a job and some money, I'd invest in a better one. Hm.. maybe they have stuff like this at the library. I know! I'll just have Eric investigate that since he's there practically every day! Now I got a game-plan, whew. Off to help my grandma with errands before she has to get back surgery sometime soon. - chris

"Aw, but they make such cute noises when you kill them."

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