"Guess who's crazy? CHRIS' DAD!! Like you didn't see that one coming. Raven Simone did. Cause she's psychic. And very large breasted. My teeth hurt."

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April 19th 2003 - I've got it! The culprit is ... anyone who purchases dairy products!! Ah, but seriously. Last night while playing video games I heard a slight noise outside and then I heard a car drive slowly away. But neighborhoods are noisy and people are allowed to be out after midnight so I didn't think anything of it. I just figured it was those random noises that one hears sometimes that don't really mean anything. Like the wind blowing something over in the backyard. But either way, this noise wasn't even that loud or alarming so I definitely didn't think it particularly important. So what had happened was, evidently after looking this morning, someone had thrown eggs at (I think) just my dad's car door. They maybe could have been aiming at my car too, but I don't really know because I haven't looked yet. I mean, come on people, grow up. I really dislike my dad, but making him MORE angry isn't exactly going to help his anger problem. I wish I knew who did it though. It could have been someone specific, or it could have been totally random people that we don't even know. You can't exactly take fingerprints from egg shells and furthermore it's more likely that whoever did it doesn't have their fingerprints on file. I swear, bad things just keep happening to my dad's car. First it got keyed, and now it's eggs. Why not just coax a cow to sit on top of the back of it?? Or force the car to watch the new lizzie movie over and over. That'll be horrible for the car, and it'll only leave psychological damage. ;] So needless to say, I can't 'wait' for my dad to come back and be super-uber pissed off. Him and my mom left to go somewhere, after he washed the egg off of his door. .. In other news, Eric still hasn't written a rant (big surprise), it's only one day (today) until 4-20, heh, I mean, Easter... yeah, .. Easter. The 21st is Kim's birthday, yay! I can't believe we're all turning 23 (with the exception of Eric). We're all getting so old. Coincidentally, the 21st is also my one manager's birthday. I don't know why I think he's so cool, I just do. So get off my back already!! Or stay,.. your choice really. I also just had this really weird dream but I didn't get to finish it. All I can remember is that I was at a kind of camp setting, but the camp was also my job at the pool! My friend Morgan was there which was awesome because I rarely get to hang out with her so it's cool when I can in my dreams. :] The strange thing about the dream is that there was this gang of cheerleaders, fronted by noneother than Punky Brewster's Soleil Moon-Frye, who were set on beating us all up or something. I'm not really sure, they did all these cheers and then Soleil was really mean. Then after they left we all started heading back to our bunks/apartment-like places but I guess I was walking too fast so I left everyone behind. Then all of a sudden someone grabbed me from behind and kidnapped me, then I woke up. So, it wasn't a great dream, but it at least had Morgan in it so that's happy. Well, that's pretty much everything going on lately. I'm going to go watch Spirited Away because I bought it last night! =] - chris

"And I would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for you band of elderly mixed tennis doubles, and your ostrich named charlie."

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April 14th 2003 - Geez it's so freaking boring!! Not having any work for a month and not going to school because it's f-ing difficult is just really damned stupid. Stupid in the sense that I don't like doing it. I'd 'love' to go to school, if I wasn't flunking the two classes I don't go to because I just SUCK at accounting and micro / macro economics. Why the hell am I even being made to TAKE such classes if I'm in computer science!!? AND, it wouldn't be soo bad if I could understand all my teachers, but evidentally every single teacher at my school who teachers the computer science major is foreign and thusly I can't really understand what they're trying to teach me through such thick accents!! I'm not saying they shouldn't be teachers, or even that they don't know what they're teaching, but I AM saying that they shouldn't be teachers until they can communicate clearly and efficiently to countless numbers of students who are supposed to be taking such knowledge and then going out into the real world to try and be better people. How am I supposed to be a better person if I can't understand you?! Now I will say that I haven't taken the opportunity to talk to every teacher that is instructing my major, but my school 'does' have the specific question for evaluations that states "Did your teacher have a clear understanding of the English language and communicate accordingly" or something along those lines. So obviously the school KNOWS that students are having difficulties understanding their employees. Gah, oh well. It's not going to change and me bitching about it is just an excuse to get a new rant out there because Eric thinks he's BETTER than everyone else and thusly so isn't going to make a rant. - chris

"I was completely fine with my horoscope saying I was going to be alone forever so I should get used to it. However, I'm not sure how I like my horoscope saying that I'm going to start a relationship with an extra terrestrial."

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April 8th 2003 - So the concert last week was pretty cool. They lied about when it started so we missed the first band, then we left during the second band and came back for The Juliana Theory. They were all right, but I only recognized two of the songs they played. Finally we didn't get to see The Ataris because Liz has that new job that causes her to go to work at 5:30 in the morning so we had to leave so she could get some sleep. Overall it was still a pretty cool night, and it didn't hurt that there were tons of hot punk boys there. Today is my last day of work (for real I think). We're just cleaning up and moving the benches. The awesome thing is that I got offered the cashier job at the pool again so I'm stoked. I just hope it's at the pool that I like as opposed to the stupid pool or I'll be really pissed off. I'm sort of glad that I don't swim much because what they did the pool is really really dumb. They added a 0-foot entrance into the pool which slopes down sooooooo gradual that you're still never actually swimming until you get to the center of the pool! And they hope to start a swim team on top of that. Yeah, good luck there, unless you want a bunch of beached swimmers during laps. Basically patrons will probably just be paying an extreme amount of money to slide down our new water slide. Ooooweee, fun. :P And to add to even MORE, our racist mayor decided to tear down the basketball nets and supposedly is going to replace them with roller-hockey nets. I swear, those basketball nets have been there even before I was born!! And because he's a big ol' racist, and the majority of people who use them are non-white individuals, he decided to get rid of them. Bastard. .. Guess we'll see if people start to trash the park because they're pissed off. I'm not saying I'd be the best mayor in history, but I'd probably be able to do a WAY better job than this guy. - chris

"Can you believe my mom actually said the words 'Well she's a polack, so what do you expect?' !!! I about died!"

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April 1st 2003 (not really) - Okay technically it's still March 31st, but I wanted to make the new april page anyway. .. So who had a really shitty work day today?! Chris did. It did however start off with the awesome d/ling of a MST3K episode that I really love and haven't been able to find anywhere. It took me around 9 or so hours, but it's worth it, especially since I wasn't home while it was d/ling. Sadly though, I waited till it was done d/ling before I went to bed at 4:30 in the morning. And since I'm CURSED (!!), I ended up waking up at 8:30!! Okay, so next I hang out with Liz for about an hour and it was pure bliss, then I had to go to work. We're currently painting the rink inside and this is our last week. My one manager (not the three-balled one who said the "N" word a couple of days ago) asked if I'd help him attempt to move the vending machines away from the wall. I said sure because I actually felt like I might be able to move them even though they're F-ING HEAVY!!! Well my manager tries and can't do it, then I (being a lot smaller than him) manager to move it just a bit! The crappy thing is that the bit I moved it had it so the vending machine was crushing my hand inbetween it and this small part of the wall that decides to jut outwards. So my hand is in freakish amounts of pain and I'm asking my manager to move the vending machine back the way it was so I could possibly free my hand, to which he did. Thankfully I think my hand is okay, but it hurts like a bitch. It's possibly bruised, at least I hope that's what it is as opposed to broken or fractured. But I doubt I'd be able to type all this right now if it was those possibilities. :] So anyway, lots of pain and it sucked. Then we got to go home, but I had to come BACK because I was filling in for my manager with three testicles' girlfriend in the pool section of the center. She's just the nicest thing in the world, I don't know why she's with that fat racist shmuck. Sure he's cute and funny, but he said the word n-gg-r!! Only racist assholes say that word!! Uh, oh yeah, back to my day. So I go to the pool part and try and clock in, finding that my ID number won't work up there. So I talk to the main guy who's on duty that night and it's this really really old, deaf, forgetful craphead of a man. I really hate this guy. So I tell him I can't clock in, but he can't hear a word I'm saying so .. I'll just do a rough transcript.

me: I can't clock in.