Sexual intercourse is one of the simple pleasures in life. To be able to have pleasurable sex and achieve orgasm is the aim of all couples. It is often said that a healthy sex life is essential in a couple's relationship and emotional growth.
Sexual intercourse unfortunately is not simply about penetration of the penis into the vagina. Many factors are involved in pleasurable sex and orgasm. We will now embark on a journey to examine the more common reasons as to why some people do not enjoy sex.
1. STRESS
This is probably the most common complaint, especially for the younger and pre-menopausal age group, as the greatest sex organ lies between the ears. It is not uncommon for my patients to reveal that they have sex at most once a month. The stress is mainly from working and over-working. Of course the home environment plays a part as well. It is absolutely unnatural to tell your partner that it is a safe period or the time of the month to have sex rather than it happening spontaneously.
SUGGESTION : Try to set aside certain days to relax, even when work is heavy. A good ambiance, dim lighting, light sexy music, aroma therapy will all help in setting the stage right. Give each other sensual massages, a longer period of foreplay and enough lubrication ( natural or applied ) such that both parties are absolutely wet before penetration usually gets the desired effects and results.
2. FEAR
Fear of intercourse, especially the first time round, may affect one's outlook towards one's future sex life. If the first penetration proves to be extremely painful and traumatic, phobia of intercourse may result. Fear can also be of pregnancy, infection and guilt to name a few.
SUGGESTION : A couple should try to find out more about sex before starting, especially concerning contraception, hygiene and prevention of infection. Enough foreplay and lubrication is important.
3. TIGHT INTROITUS ( VAGINA )
Some people are born with tight pelvic bone and vagina. While one cannot do much about bones, a tight vagina can be treated easily. Many such patients have a thickened band on the floor of the vagina, giving rise to pain during intercourse, resulting in the female refusing penetration ( Vaginimus ).
SUGGESTION : A simple surgery, which can be done as a day procedure, can be done to either release the tight band ( using laser or burning called diathermy ), or to make a small cut to widen the outlet of the vagina ( called Fenton's operation ).
4. RETROVERTED UTERUS
Retroverted uterus ( womb ) occurs in about 10 to 15 % of patients, naturally. In such cases, the womb rests on the back or the spine area. Some will complain of pain during intercourse.
SUGGESTION : A change in the sexual position may be all that is needed. The rear entry ( doggy style ) tends to move the womb away from the spine and relieve much of the backache. Surgery is available to correct this problem but this is a major surgery and is used only as a last resort.
5. ENDOMETRIOSIS
This is when menstrual blood back flow out of the lining of the womb to implant on the ovaries, womb or outside the womb. Endometriosis is associated with painful periods, painful intercourse, heavy periods and subfertility.
SUGGESTION : Please consult your gynae regarding further management. A laparoscopy ( key-hole surgery ) where a scope ( TV ) is put through the naval to look at the womb may be necessary for diagnosis. Treatment can be with medication or keyhole surgery depending on the severity.
6. VAGINAL INFECTION
This often presents with vaginal discharge which could be white and curdy ( fungal infection ) or yellow / green ( bacteria or parasite infection ). If left untreated, the patient may experience lower abdominal pain and of course painful sex.
SUGGESTION : See your gynae to clean off the infection, send the discharge for examination and for medication.