Sens News Archive
Reporter: Hello everyone! We thought that this piece of news would satisfy sens fans since a picture of their captain is in Toronto. Anyway, because of the crime rates in Toronto, Toronto police Chief Julius Fantino has decided to let his men kill anyone wearing a Sens jersey. I mean he allowed his men to kill all the evil do-ers in Toronto. To let them have target practice, he set this up.
Reporter: Ever since this was the new target in target practice, the number of criminals has went down in Toronto. Also, the number of Sens jerseys has went down in Toronto. Here we have an interview with the Chief himself, Julius Fantino.
Reporter: Mr. Fantino, what gave you this idea to use Alfredsson's head as target practice?
Julius Fantino: His nose. As you see i have trained my men to always shoot him in the nose. I thought that his nose was way too pointy and it needed to be flattened. Daniel should be grateful.
Reporter: Very smart indeed. Tell me, why did you also train your officers to shoot anyone in a Sens Jersey?
Julius Fantino: Isn't it obvious?! We can't let any crazy people in the city! But we lost about two officers this way. They were taught to shoot anyone in a Sens jersey, and they were both Sens fans. When they saw each other, they shot.
Reporter: Thank you, Mr. Fantino. This is Reporter 3 signing off from Sens News.
??????: Grrrrrrrrrr....
Reporter: What the...?
Reporter: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
??????: Grrrrrrrr.......
Cameraman: No! Not while we were still filming! Now the public knows......Oh why did we get Fluffy in the first place? And we always have to go live.......
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