Sens Jokes - Page 3
A teacher who is a Sens fan is teaching her class when the subject of hockey comes up. The teacher asks several kids what teams they root for, and she gets to Johnny. "What team do you root fo, Johnny?" she asks the little boy. "I cheer for the Toronto Maple leafs!" he replied. The teacher, being a Sens fan, is surprised. "Why do you cheer for them?" "Well, my mother is a Leafs fan, my father is a Leafs fan, so I'm a Leafs fan!" said the proud little boy. "Well, if your father was a moron, your mother was a moron, would that make you a moron too?" asked the teacher. Johnny thinks a bit and replies, "No, that would make me a Sens fan."
What do you get when you piss off Martin Havlat? A cross-czech
A Senators fan and a Leafs fan were walking along one day and found a bottle. The Leafs fan picked it up and a genie appeared. The genie said he would grant each a wish that would benefit the city of their favorite team. He asked the Sens fan first who stated "Seeing how our captain has predicted two Stanley Cups in a row and that we are so much better than everyone else, I would like to have a wall around Ottawa so that we don't have to associate with those that are of lower stature." The genie granted his request. He then went to the Leafs fan for his wish to benefit the city of Toronto. The Leafs fan studied a minute and then said to the genie, "Tell me about that wall." The genie replied, "The wall is 150 feet tall, 50 feet thick and totally indestructible." The Leafs fan said, "Fill that baby up with water."
A Toronto Maple Leaf fan, a Red Wings fan and a Ottawa Senators fan were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of alcohol. All of the sudden Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the alcohol, they were sentenced to death! However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh suddenly said: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping." The Ottawa Senators fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The Ottawa Senators fan had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was done. The Red Wings fan was next up (he almost finished a half-can), and after watching the scene, said: "All Right! Please fix two pillows on my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again, sending the Detroit fan crying. The Toronto Maple Leafs fan was the last one up (he had finished off the crate), but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You support the greatest team in the world, your city has some of the best and most loyal hockey fans in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!" "Thank you, your most Royal highness", the Leafs fan replies. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes." "Not only are you an honourable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave," the Sheikh says with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?" the Sheikh asks. "Tie the Senators fan to my back."
*NEW*
How Alfy Got Such Horrible Hair One day a fairy came to Daniel Alfredsson and said that his hair would keep on growing and growing if he told lies. And Mr. Alfredsson just kept on saying that the Sens would win the cup, so look what happened.
Quasimodo is sat in his study and once again is feeling depressed about how ugly he is. Looking for some reassurance, he goes in search of Esmerelda. When he finds her he asks her once again if he really is the ugliest man alive. Esmerelda sighs and says "Look, why don't you go upstairs and ask the magic mirror who is the ugliest man alive? The mirror will answer your question once and for all" About five minutes later a very pleased looking Quasimodo bounced back back the stairs and gave Esmerelda a great big hug. "Well it worked" Quasmido beamed, "But who on earth is Daniel Alfredsson?"
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